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Lao Tzu
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healother said:
A technique covering this was (for some reason, since this technique is years old) reprinted today all over the papers.
http://www.azstarnet.com/sn/news/157767.php
Everyday You think of 3 things that went right that day and you think of why they went right. When thinking of why they went right try to focus on other things that are going right rather than neutral or chance (ie, because you have good friends, or know how to research an issue, or have access to good opportunity instead of saying 'luck' or 'chance').
most people spend hours and hours each day thinking of how their life doesn't live up to how it should be, and barely spend a few minutes thinking of how their life is going according to plan. Its amazing how rare depression is sometimes when you think of it. People eat shit diets and lack numerous vitamins and minerals, focus on everything wrong in their lives 24/7, ignore the 90% of their lives that are going right at any given time and value superficial oneupmanship trophies (income, etc) over meaningful human relationships. Yet many people consider themselves reasonably happy.
Neural scaffolding, which I talked about earlier, is based on the fact that every second 100 million new synaptic connections are made in the brain. As you focus on and pretend to be happy, you make more connections. As a result down the road it becomes easier for messages to be sent along those pathways, and being happier becomes easier. One study just had people stand in front of a mirror and say 'I am happy' 10 minutes a day and after 2 weeks they were 25% happier.
But honestly if you approach life from a mentality and standpoint of weakness, fear and vulnerability (ie, I am incomplete, not whole and flawed unless I get X, Y & Z), then getting X, Y & Z won't make you happy. You'll still be a person who doesn't feel whole, and you'll find something else to focus on to convince yourself you aren't whole. If you can't get a date, if you figure out how you'll feel incomplete since you can't get good dates. If you can get good dates, you'll feel incomplete since you can't get relationships. If you can get them, you'll feel incomplete that you can't get good ones, etc. etc. If you 'need' to make 60k, once you get that you'll need to make 70k.
The real route to happiness is not getting what you want it is becoming mentally competent enough to be content, competent and productive no matter what you are doing or where you end up. If you had asked me 2 years ago to rate my life on a 1-10 scale of ideal vs real, I would've said 4. Now I'd say 8.5, even though external events haven't changed much.
