last week, towards the conclusion of a NY Knicks-Miami
telecast. With the sound turned down, I imagined it was being
produced and worked by WATS, a Sports Wagering Network
that of course, does not yet exist.
Play-by-Play: “…A Damon Jones three gives the home-chalk
players some cushion…1:36 remaining, fourth quarter, 10-
point favorite Miami leads by 15.”
Color: “…Kevin, the Knicks had edged closer for the underdog
players here in the fourth, but…oh, wait a minute. Shandon
Anderson fouls Nazr Mohammed only eight seconds into the
offensive possession. This is exactly what you do not want to
see if you are laying it with Miami in this ballgame.”
Play-by-Play: “…That’s right, Johnny. Stan Van Gundy will not
look down low to Shaq at this stage. Too much risk of the big
guy missing a pair of free throws that would give the Heat empty
offensive possessions…Mohammed makes ‘em both, the Heat
lead is 13, and we’ll probably see Dwayne Wade run the shotclock
down before the Heat take a relatively low-percentage
shot…Damon Jones chucks again, no, Mohammed the
rebound and here comes New York the other way…Marbury in
the lane, pulls up and it drops. The Heat lead is only 11.”
Color: “…Typical Marbury. A team-high 24 points now, in a
likely straight-up loss…not even attempting to finish his drive
and draw a foul on the play in this ballgame.”
Play-by-Play: “…Ariza fouls Wade…46 seconds to play and
the spread still very much in doubt, folks…you cannot like
what you see if you’re on the favorite as Wade misses the first
of two…”
Color: “…That’s right Kevin, because Shaq is now leaving the
floor for Doleac. The door – the back door, if you’re on the
underdog — is suddenly open in the paint for New York in this
ballgame.”
Play-by-Play:“…Wade makes the second. Miami leads by 12,
laying 10. Here comes Marbury and he zips right through the
Heat and Doleac for a running layup. With 41 seconds to play,
it’s a push.”
Color: “…No Shaq, and suddenly no fear for Marbury to continue
his dribble in this ballgame.’’
Play-by-Play:“…Down double-digits with only 30 seconds, the
Knicks will not foul …Wade runs time off the clock… the
chalk-players cringe in unison as Christian Laettner hoists a
brick!”
Color:“…That is not the guy you want taking that shot if you’re
a chalk-player involved in this ballgame.”
Play-by-Play: ”…Thomas with his 12th rebound, outlet pass
to Marbury and he takes it all the way uncontested once
again. The double-digit dog is suddenly a bucket under the
number.”
Color: “…And Kevin, with 13 seconds remaining and the game
on eight, the Heat just dribble out the clock here, the most helpless
feeling when your team is just two points off the spread in
a ballgame.”
Play-by-Play: “…That’ll do it folks. The Heat drop to 5-10 ATS
as home favorites on the season and the Knicks once again pull
out a narrow cover. Your final score: Miami 102, New York 94.
Good night!
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