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GoldenDelicious
New member
yoooooooooooooooooo orblings hows it going 
i just got in from a night out, and i figure eh, screw it, you guys can laugh at my bullshit while im sleeping
im probably going to regret this, but eh, stuff it
so anyway bors, im going to keep this short because im kind of tired (what with it being 6am and all) and kind of craving salt and vinegar chips, but tonight wa really interesting!! so ill tell you guys about it
so anyway, the night started with me being picked up by a mate to go to a house party to pick a guy up, and while i was getting directions, the host said to me "make sure you come inside quietly, youll love it"
so im like eh, strange, i wonder what this mofo has up his sleeve...so anyway, my buddy and i pick up a couple of chinese girls from another party and leave them in the car gossipping while we go out to check this place out...so i walk in, and walk in to the house...and there, in the middle of the living room, is a queen sized bed...with a naked girl on it!!! so im like wwwwwwttttttffffffff is going on???!!! the girl must have been...19? 
anyway she gets an eyeful of my mate, who she knew, and told him to go over there so that she could, well, you know....bang him silly, and then takes a look at me and says "oh gosh" (now i dont know why she said that, but i suspect its because...i looked really good. you know, like really, really good )
now anyway i was totally sleazed out by this and said to my mate "oi, lets get the f out of here, this is nasty man" and so we jump into the car (with the backseat loaded with jabbering chinese almost twenty year olds) and go out to some clubs
so anyway, cut a long story short (geez im tired) i leave my mate in a club and go to another place, and right when im getting jiggy with this girl a massive fight breaks out, with these two roiding gorillas punching the snot out of each other, constantly bumping into me while they were taking massive swings, and upsetting my quest for a drink (i was at the bar) so i jump in and grab one of the guys, while security grabbed the other guy, and broke up the brawl....so anyway, i was feeling all muscley (as you do ) when i noticed that everyone was looking at me funny...and it turns out i had bloodstains all over my forehead from breaking up the fight!! omg!!! bring on the domestos!!
so i wash my face (10 times) and was just settling in to the scene with a new girl, when my phone goes off, and its my mate saying that he had just been assaulted at the club i left him at!!! so i hoof it over to the club, and sure enough, theres my mate covered in blood, freaking out that he had been jumped by some little black dude and his 5 friends
so i took care of my mate, covered him in antiseptic cream etc, and since it was almost closing time, i figured it would be really convenient if i could get the offenders name (for the court case, since it was all on video) - so i left my mate in the care of another mate, and went to hang out at the door of the club...and as luck would have it, within maybe 10 minutes, the bastard comes out of the club with his 2 mates and tries to go home...except that i was kind of annoyed that my mate had been jumped (hes only young) and that this cocky little prick was still having a good time in the club while my mate was frantic, and calling me
so anyway, the little prick tries walking pat me, and i say "bro, whats that blood doing on your shirt? whats your name?" and like the little prick he was, he said "my names eatadick". dont ask me why, i thought of killahbee so i say "yeah? well COME HERE, BITCH " and grab him in a grip harder than Gonelifting holding a chicken drumstick, and say to one of the 8 police "this guy assaulted my mate, get his details"
so anyway, i sat there giving him death stares as the police interviewed him, and finally, when that was done, this little fucker starts walking across the road, and says to me, loudly "yeah, your mate got cheeky, and he got smashed, and youll get smashed too"
ahem.
x 1000
now bear in mind, the nightclub had just closed, and there were at least 400 people on the street, all watching the scene, and, i say "what did you fucken say?" and the guy stops, in the middle of the street, and says "yeah, youre going to fucken get smashed too"
now i have to say, the drama queen inside me was having an orgasm - im there, in the middle of the street, with hundreds of people looking over at whats going down, with maybe 12 cops, 10 bouncers, 2 hotdog dudes and pretty much the whole nightclub listening in to what was happening next...so i say (all the ladies block their ears, please, this isnt very pharmacist like) "whats your fucken name?" and he sticks his chest out and says "well whats yours" and so, walking towards him like Frankenstein, hands out ready to grab him, i say "my names XXXXXX. i live at XXXXXX. PO box XXXXXXX. blood type B-......CUNT...anything else you want to fucken know? now what the fuck are you going to fucken do?" ...now this guys face fell to the floor, and he had that wonderful 'oh shit' look on his face () and while this guy and his 2 buddies were walking backwards (in front of everyone lllllooooooooooolllllll) the police come over...so i turned away (as you do 
) and they escorted him over away from the general area i was (how they left me there in hero mode, i dont know) and i went back to the car, where my bud was hanging out, and sat there fuming for a few minutes, when a really nice looking girl comes over and says "i know that guy, i knew him from school". so i say "what guy?" and she says "that guy you were going to fight just before" and so i asked if she knew his name...and she said she could find out...and so with a big smile, she gives me her number, to call her tomorrow and find out who the guy is
i have had worse nights
did i mention she was cute?
i just got in from a night out, and i figure eh, screw it, you guys can laugh at my bullshit while im sleeping im probably going to regret this, but eh, stuff it
so anyway bors, im going to keep this short because im kind of tired (what with it being 6am and all) and kind of craving salt and vinegar chips, but tonight wa really interesting!!
so ill tell you guys about it so anyway, the night started with me being picked up by a mate to go to a house party to pick a guy up, and while i was getting directions, the host said to me "make sure you come inside quietly, youll love it"
so im like eh, strange, i wonder what this mofo has up his sleeve...so anyway, my buddy and i pick up a couple of chinese girls from another party and leave them in the car gossipping while we go out to check this place out...so i walk in, and walk in to the house...and there, in the middle of the living room, is a queen sized bed...with a naked girl on it!!! so im like wwwwwwttttttffffffff is going on???!!! the girl must have been...19? anyway she gets an eyeful of my mate, who she knew, and told him to go over there so that she could, well, you know....bang him silly, and then takes a look at me and says "oh gosh" (now i dont know why she said that, but i suspect its because...i looked really good. you know, like really, really good )now anyway i was totally sleazed out by this and said to my mate "oi, lets get the f out of here, this is nasty man" and so we jump into the car (with the backseat loaded with jabbering chinese almost twenty year olds) and go out to some clubs
so anyway, cut a long story short (geez im tired) i leave my mate in a club and go to another place, and right when im getting jiggy with this girl a massive fight breaks out, with these two roiding gorillas punching the snot out of each other, constantly bumping into me while they were taking massive swings, and upsetting my quest for a drink (i was at the bar) so i jump in and grab one of the guys, while security grabbed the other guy, and broke up the brawl....so anyway, i was feeling all muscley (as you do
) when i noticed that everyone was looking at me funny...and it turns out i had bloodstains all over my forehead from breaking up the fight!! omg!!! bring on the domestos!!so i wash my face (10 times) and was just settling in to the scene with a new girl, when my phone goes off, and its my mate saying that he had just been assaulted at the club i left him at!!! so i hoof it over to the club, and sure enough, theres my mate covered in blood, freaking out that he had been jumped by some little black dude and his 5 friends
so i took care of my mate, covered him in antiseptic cream etc, and since it was almost closing time, i figured it would be really convenient if i could get the offenders name (for the court case, since it was all on video) - so i left my mate in the care of another mate, and went to hang out at the door of the club...and as luck would have it, within maybe 10 minutes, the bastard comes out of the club with his 2 mates and tries to go home...except that i was kind of annoyed that my mate had been jumped (hes only young) and that this cocky little prick was still having a good time in the club while my mate was frantic, and calling me
so anyway, the little prick tries walking pat me, and i say "bro, whats that blood doing on your shirt? whats your name?" and like the little prick he was, he said "my names eatadick". dont ask me why, i thought of killahbee
so i say "yeah? well COME HERE, BITCH " and grab him in a grip harder than Gonelifting holding a chicken drumstick, and say to one of the 8 police "this guy assaulted my mate, get his details"so anyway, i sat there giving him death stares as the police interviewed him, and finally, when that was done, this little fucker starts walking across the road, and says to me, loudly "yeah, your mate got cheeky, and he got smashed, and youll get smashed too"
ahem.
x 1000now bear in mind, the nightclub had just closed, and there were at least 400 people on the street, all watching the scene, and, i say "what did you fucken say?" and the guy stops, in the middle of the street, and says "yeah, youre going to fucken get smashed too"
now i have to say, the drama queen inside me was having an orgasm - im there, in the middle of the street, with hundreds of people looking over at whats going down, with maybe 12 cops, 10 bouncers, 2 hotdog dudes and pretty much the whole nightclub listening in to what was happening next...so i say (all the ladies block their ears, please, this isnt very pharmacist like) "whats your fucken name?" and he sticks his chest out and says "well whats yours" and so, walking towards him like Frankenstein, hands out ready to grab him, i say "my names XXXXXX. i live at XXXXXX. PO box XXXXXXX. blood type B-......CUNT...anything else you want to fucken know? now what the fuck are you going to fucken do?
" ...now this guys face fell to the floor, and he had that wonderful 'oh shit' look on his face () and while this guy and his 2 buddies were walking backwards (in front of everyone lllllooooooooooolllllll) the police come over...so i turned away (as you do ) and they escorted him over away from the general area i was (how they left me there in hero mode, i dont know) and i went back to the car, where my bud was hanging out, and sat there fuming for a few minutes, when a really nice looking girl comes over and says "i know that guy, i knew him from school". so i say "what guy?" and she says "that guy you were going to fight just before" and so i asked if she knew his name...and she said she could find out...and so with a big smile, she gives me her number, to call her tomorrow and find out who the guy is i have had worse nights
did i mention she was cute?
