Big Country 056
New member
My gf and I have been dating for almost three years. I love her very much, but there are things about our relationship that are just not adding up. First off, this is a long distance relationship, I am 26 and she is 29. She lives in D.C., and I am finishing college in N.C., so we seee other about once every 4 or 5 weeks.
The things that bother me are multi-fold. I do most of the driving and visiting. She's come to see me a total of 3 times this year. She is unbelievably moody, but I try to be understanding b/c she is in a high-stress profession. I went to see her a couple of weeks ago, and she couldn't wait to see me, but when I got there, she was totally cold until the last day of my visit. Then, when I get home, she burns up my phone with how much she misses me...WTF???
This stuff I can deal with. The thing that bothers me most is our sex life, or more accurately, the lack thereof. I've brought it up to her, but she just gets upset. I've tried to figure out what needs of hers that I'm not fulfilling, but the only thing that she mentions is "I'm tired...stressed out..." etc. The worst is the x-rated phone calls that I get from her about all of the things that she's going to do to me when she sees me again. Guess what, it never happens. one weekend, in particular, she left a voice mail for me that said "my roomates are all out of town, my period is over, and, I just shaved. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat you up. Don't plan on getting any sleep this weekend!" Not only was there no freakiness, there was no sex AT ALL that weekend.
What complicates this is the fact that there was more physicality in our relationship before she had even told me that she loved me. I don't want to paint myself as a boyfriend that only cares about sex, there is hardly any physical affection at all. When we do have sex, it is almost mechanical, with very little foreplay. I can't remember the last time that we just "made out", I miss that. If I try kissing or petting before sex, she's like "I don't want that, I just want sex." I don't know what the deal is. Worst of all, I don't know what to do. Maybe I do know what to do, but am not sure how to go about it.
Ladies, advice would be nice. Guys, please keep the flames to a minimum. Thanks.
The things that bother me are multi-fold. I do most of the driving and visiting. She's come to see me a total of 3 times this year. She is unbelievably moody, but I try to be understanding b/c she is in a high-stress profession. I went to see her a couple of weeks ago, and she couldn't wait to see me, but when I got there, she was totally cold until the last day of my visit. Then, when I get home, she burns up my phone with how much she misses me...WTF???
This stuff I can deal with. The thing that bothers me most is our sex life, or more accurately, the lack thereof. I've brought it up to her, but she just gets upset. I've tried to figure out what needs of hers that I'm not fulfilling, but the only thing that she mentions is "I'm tired...stressed out..." etc. The worst is the x-rated phone calls that I get from her about all of the things that she's going to do to me when she sees me again. Guess what, it never happens. one weekend, in particular, she left a voice mail for me that said "my roomates are all out of town, my period is over, and, I just shaved. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat you up. Don't plan on getting any sleep this weekend!" Not only was there no freakiness, there was no sex AT ALL that weekend.
What complicates this is the fact that there was more physicality in our relationship before she had even told me that she loved me. I don't want to paint myself as a boyfriend that only cares about sex, there is hardly any physical affection at all. When we do have sex, it is almost mechanical, with very little foreplay. I can't remember the last time that we just "made out", I miss that. If I try kissing or petting before sex, she's like "I don't want that, I just want sex." I don't know what the deal is. Worst of all, I don't know what to do. Maybe I do know what to do, but am not sure how to go about it.
Ladies, advice would be nice. Guys, please keep the flames to a minimum. Thanks.