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Relationship advice-

hardrock

hardrock

Go fuck your own face!
Platinum
Yeah I know, asking you mutts is like asking a vegan how to prepare a steak. Anyway-

I have been seeing a woman for a couple months now and I am not happy in our relationship. She is a recovering alcoholic(sober 2+yrs now). She is extremely controlling and moody as fuck. Cute, tight little body, and great in the sack, blah, blah. I've been trying to stick it out and make things work. until now-

Enter ex girlfriend. I dated this woman for 2 1/2 years and I would call her the love of my life. I absolutely adore her. We broke up last spring and became friends again over the summer. That fell apart when I realized she didn't feel the same. Or so I thought. She is very stubborn and was holding a grudge.

We started texting recently and she invited me over for a beer last night for her birthday. I didn't wanna get my hopes up too much, but it seemed like we picked up right where we left off. Couldn't have gone any better. No sex, just talking and a few kisses. Could have I'm sure, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

Here's the pickle I'm in.

I can't be with current girl no matter what. That fish is dead in the water. My ex and I split because I was taking her for granted and partying too much. Since then I bought a house and moved away from the corrosive environment I was in and stopped drinking. I will drink again, but will never go back to that lifestyle i was living.

It seems we have flip flopped. She drinks a lot, and still smokes, which I hate.

So in the past she wanted a full on marriage type commitment, and I was too busy having fun with my friends.

Now we both want to give it a go again, but I am hesitant.

I can't fully invest in this again to have it fall apart. it will destroy me again emotionally.

Some advice would be great, but more than anything I guess I am just wanting to get this out.

Thoughts?
 
Ill tell ya what man If your ex was your true Love you feel then you should pursue it. Wear your heart on your sleeve. I have been crushed twice and each time was hard man and I slowly moved on banged a few broads and now I am with the girl I feel I were always meant to be with. It's very true about girls I find, can't live with em can't live without em.. But at the end of the day if you love someone then go for it cause you will regret it when the chance passes. Dump the new broad and hook up with the ex just move slowly.
 
hardrock said:
Yeah I know, asking you mutts is like asking a vegan how to prepare a steak. Anyway-

I have been seeing a woman for a couple months now and I am not happy in our relationship. She is a recovering alcoholic(sober 2+yrs now). She is extremely controlling and moody as fuck. Cute, tight little body, and great in the sack, blah, blah. I've been trying to stick it out and make things work. until now-

Enter ex girlfriend. I dated this woman for 2 1/2 years and I would call her the love of my life. I absolutely adore her. We broke up last spring and became friends again over the summer. That fell apart when I realized she didn't feel the same. Or so I thought. She is very stubborn and was holding a grudge.

We started texting recently and she invited me over for a beer last night for her birthday. I didn't wanna get my hopes up too much, but it seemed like we picked up right where we left off. Couldn't have gone any better. No sex, just talking and a few kisses. Could have I'm sure, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

Here's the pickle I'm in.

I can't be with current girl no matter what. That fish is dead in the water. My ex and I split because I was taking her for granted and partying too much. Since then I bought a house and moved away from the corrosive environment I was in and stopped drinking. I will drink again, but will never go back to that lifestyle i was living.

It seems we have flip flopped. She drinks a lot, and still smokes, which I hate.

So in the past she wanted a full on marriage type commitment, and I was too busy having fun with my friends.

Now we both want to give it a go again, but I am hesitant.

I can't fully invest in this again to have it fall apart. it will destroy me again emotionally.

Some advice would be great, but more than anything I guess I am just wanting to get this out.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

I was in a similar... Actually VERY similar situation.
My thought after me going through all of it... Date at a distance and if she wants it bad enough shell stick around to re build. Drop the girl your with and never ask what your love did with people while she was away from you or you will resent her for it. Caulk it all up to "you did your shit and she did hers". Fuck what people will say because at the end of the day your the one who lives with it and goes to bed with it. So as long as your happy who cares. It's all about what your willing to accept and let go at this point. I think if your THAT into your ex, give it a honest go. Be in it 100% and make sure she is too. You can only do that from a distance at first tho. Look to see what you can change and look for what she HAS changed. You'll never know if you don't take that leap of faith tho.
 
Good advice. Guess this place ain't all useless assbags. Thanks.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
I literally just went through the EXACT same thing except the second I started talking to my ex I immediately dumped the girl I was with. The heart wants what the heart wants man. If this chick is all you have her to be in your head then give her another chance I have found that if she's the one then you guys will find a way to make it work if not then fuck it she clearly isn't what you had her cracked up to be. Personally I went into it with the attitude that I'm gunna prove to this chick she's the girl I wanna be with and it worked out our relationship is a 100x better than it ever was and after a month I'm head over heels for this girl all over again and the feeling is clearly mutual. The only advise I can give you is start fresh and don't get your hopes up if she wants it as bad as you do it'll work itself out if not... Well then on to the next one its a tough attitude to keep but it's the only thing that's kept me from going postal
 
Agreed. Now to let the current one go. She really loves me and won't take this well. I don't want her to relapse either.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
I hear that the chick I was with had a whole boat load of problems ... Ex drug addict, was abused as a kid, had crazy anxiety and I was the world to this girl. She sat in my truck for three hours and had a mental break down when I broke up with her it was awful. My stomach hurts thinking about it still but two weeks after I broke up with her she called me and thanked me because losing me made me realize she needed help. She's in therapy and on the right meds and looks and acts way better then she had been for years so who knows man. Just gotta realize even though she's got problems they aren't yours to solve you can't be the one whose miserable just to make someone you care about happy your own happiness needs to come before all else.
 
Just broke it off with her. She thought something was up for a while now, and I thought it might work itself out. Now she's pissed as hell and deleting my #. Just what I predicted would happen. She can't deal with anything. I didn't mention the ex cause it doesn't matter. This was over before she re entered the picture.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
hardrock said:
Just broke it off with her. She thought something was up for a while now, and I thought it might work itself out. Now she's pissed as hell and deleting my #. Just what I predicted would happen. She can't deal with anything. I didn't mention the ex cause it doesn't matter. This was over before she re entered the picture.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

lol! That didn't take long! Less than 30 minutes!
 
Well she wanted to come out tonight(she lives an hour away) and I wanted to get this out beforehand. Tried just talking about how I was feeling and she just cut me off and said bye.

No sense in prolonging the inevitable. I do feel bad tho.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
ceo said:
lol! That didn't take long! Less than 30 minutes!
Click to expand...

And it wasn't 30 mins. I made the decision to end it last night. Just didn't know it would happen this soon.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
Hard drinking, smoking woman is not going to get you very far. I would make first chick fuck buddy only and tread easy with "love of life" and play the field at the same time. Man whore.
 
We all have our own problems bro. That one is hers. She'll be fine and if not the. It woulda happened while she was with you. Either way breathe. It's over and a new chapter begins. Your doing 80mph in a car right now. Keep your eyes in front of you to see what's happening next. If you keep your eyes on what's behind you your going to crash. Good luck. Good things ahead and stay positive
 
Let's get philosophical...Are you attracted to who your ex IS or who she used to be?

People change and it sounds like you changed a lot, for the better. Does your exes current lifestyle align with the life you want?

Either way, if you decide to start dating your ex, actually DATE her and decide whether or not she's someone you want to be with now. Evaluate the relationship from a fresh perspective based on who you are and want to be.

Your ex dumped you because she didn't align with your lifestyle. Be willing to do the same to her. It's best for everyone.

I say this coming from a similar experience. After getting my shit together I became completely unattracted to girls who lived my previous lifestyle. There's tons of gorgeous, smart, independent, motivated women out there.

My only advice is don't jump in too quick with the ex.

Sent from my PG86100 using EliteFitness
 
callmejay said:
Let's get philosophical...Are you attracted to who your ex IS or who she used to be?

Sent from my PG86100 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

Good point. I was the happiest with her last night that I have been since we split.

I don't know. But I am willing to work through anything and she says she is as well.

I'm pretty sure the drinking comes from her depression based on her current health.

All I know is I love her and she is worth it.


Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
zwhit said:
Which one is hotter and how much test are you on? Serious questions
Click to expand...

Both are very attractive. Ex is beautiful, one just dropped is cute. Childish too. Dropped is more into fitness to, which I love, but she can't hold a candle to the love I have for my ex.

I'm on 200mg/wk test enan for trt.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
hardrock said:
Both are very attractive. Ex is beautiful, one just dropped is cute. Childish too. Dropped is more into fitness to, which I love, but she can't hold a candle to the love I have for my ex.

I'm on 200mg/wk test enan for trt.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

I ask because I tend to do more stupid shit when I'm on test. Judging by your join date, I'm sure you know already know this though
 
I've been there bro. I can relate. Lol.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness
 
Thanks for all the advice everyone. She came over last night and we spent most of the day together today. We hashed a lot of shit out, and it appears we are both on the same page. The chemistry is like we never skipped a beat. I am a happy man today :)
 
hardrock said:
Thanks for all the advice everyone. She came over last night and we spent most of the day together today. We hashed a lot of shit out, and it appears we are both on the same page. The chemistry is like we never skipped a beat. I am a happy man today :)
Click to expand...

Glad to hear man good for you!
 
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