question for yall

[miles]

Phemomena

Yes, I get it, 50-100mg to a girl is way different than for me.

Just to clarify. She got two or three shots - in about two weeks - I don't remember exactly. They were either 50mg cyp + 50mg equipose, because that makes the shot not hurt, or they were 100mg cyp because I was out of bolderone, and she bitched for days about how much her ass hurt with out the EQ. That's not enough to perminantly fuck up her hormones is it?

I have always been the kind of person that takes things on by himself. I don't need anyone to help me figure things out; I am very independent that way. I run my own business, and I have always made my own way. But, I can't do this one by myself. You are right I need help.

The problem is I don't have any help. Her sister is a heroine addict, and is of really no help with anything at all. I don't know if you have any experience with this kind of a person, but they are actually very dangerous. You should have been there when I extracted K from the lair where the two of them were living. What a scene that was. Her mom is so timid she isn't worth talking to either, she is afraid to drive because people are mean in traffice. She would rather hide under a rock than face anything. Her father is a dead alcholoic crazy person. She has some girl friends, but they are scared of any real problems. You know the kind of friend I am talking about, a good time friend, not real friend. So, there really isn't anyone else to help her establish her boundaries of reality besides me.

Which is kind of scary, because I am not certain that I am a very sane person to be depending on for a point of view anyway. I take crazy business risks all the time, just for the fun of it... I dont' know how to get any help besides a psychologist. I guess that is what I will suggest that we do.

Thanks so much for talking to me about this problem. People are so fucked, and fake about stuff. It is strange that some of the most helpful and wonderful people I know are just handles on the internet.

 

[sww]

Hi Miles,

I can really feel for what you and your girlfriend are going through.

She is very lucky to have your support and understanding. I don't know what the medical situation is where you live (I don't live in America, but have heard dreadful things about the expense). If all her her doctor can do is to prescribe Zoloft, please change doctors. A talking therapy is required here (but the Zoloft can help too, please consider it a short-term remedy, it does not cure the cause, altered brain chemistry can also be considered as a result of emotions, rather than the cause). If you cannot afford a therapist, are there any support groups in your area? Would anyone on these boards know about this scene in America?

Your love and care are so helpful to her. Yes, someone can get through depression without it, but so much more easily with it. The issue can be to not let her become too emotionally dependant on you. There are two reasons for this.

1) It can interfere with her recovery, at some stage she needs to take control of things for herself. Give her love and support, just figure out where to draw the limits. Allow her to be challenged, not overwhelmingly though. You said she is not looking after herself, set goals along these lines. For example "Today's actions are to shower, telephone one person (connecting to other supports, need not be 'therapeutic', just for some social relief is also helpful), write in journal, take a walk. Then just go from there.

2) You need to look after yourself. It's tough on the support person when someone goes through a depression. You are important too and a lot is falling on your shoulders now. Set your limits and boundaries. Take time and space for yourself. Obviously, this doesn't mean withdrawal, but it also means not allowing her use her depression as a control over you. She isn't consciously doing this, so there's no need for confrontation. Just be clear about what you expect her to do for herself.

When people are depressed, their cognitive functioning falls in a heap. Even the most basic decisions and thought processes overwhelm and frighten them, eg "Do I turn left or right at this aisle?". This can be really infuriating! Just part of the depression.


I have the same ongoing problems with my mother and her depression. This is what I have found helpful. After several years we (her children) got quite tough with her. She just didn't seem to want to recover. But she is much better now. I found that simple kindnesses, like bringing her flowers or something special to eat have a big impact. You don't need to be her therapist. In fact it's better if you're not. She may not like her therapist often (too challenging), but she does need you you to be a friend, which it sounds like you are doing admirably. I was happy to hear that you hid the gear and didn't give in to her. This is exactly the tough kind of thing you need to do. Can be hard when when you see her suffering.

I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to go on and on. Please let us know how it goes.

sww

 

[sww]

Sorry guys, I accidently hit 'submit reply' insead of 'spell check'.

Lobo, any chance of have the first of my posts removed, Miles doesn't need to be read it all twice, hell none of us do!

Thanks
sww

 

[ann]

Your post is cool girl....even twice Hell, I think Miles needs to read it twice anyhow. Its great !!

 

[Phemomena]

SWW- to delete the first post, click edit and then up at the top there is a delete... check the box and hit the delete now button

miles - sww has some good advice

as for the gear... all i can say is that it probably hasn't helped the situation... everyone is different and some people's hormonal balance may really be put out of wack on a small bit of gear...

yup, you really need to get her to a doctor... is she taking her prescribed meds (zoloft?)... quite often people who get depressed start their meds, something happens and they stop their meds before they've had a chance to really regulate the brain chemistry.... doing so really starts a rollercoaster if you will, its often worse than not taking the meds at all... she'll probably benefit from getting on those and STAYING ON, for at least a few months...

depression is not a mental illness, its a chemical imbalance... (generally caused or aggrivated by mental distress)... good therapy to help deal with the mental distress combined with proper medication to deal with the chemical imbalance can go along way in most cases...

also, keep her away from all other drugs/alcohol for awhile... that may mean that you'll have to give that stuff up too... it aint helping the situation...

keep her active and if she's sitting at home while your at work, give her tasks to do, not just get out of bed, ask her to pick something up for you at the store... don't make her feel obligated or put too much on her, but maybe promise to make her dinner if she buys the ingredients... you have to work as a team to get through this... no one can carry the other...