PSA: If we have a fight and you don't get laid for a week or more....

[aandd]

... it's not that you are being punished. It is that we don't like to put out for assholes and pricks, which we think you have been.

It is also not that we are holding a grudge. We are females, we have gargantuan memories. We just simply haven't yet forgotten what a total asshat you were during our last arguement.

Quit whining that you think it sucks that we would punish you for disagreeing with us and realize that, much like you, we don't want to bang someone for whom the very act of breathing is no longer up to our standards.

Thank you.

PS: this is a spin-off from another thread, and not reflective of my current state of mind with regard to my man.

 

[Raina]

I agree and disagree. I have no real interest in sleeping with someone who I'm mad at but at the same time, he tends to turn into an even more pissy and miserable creature if he's not getting any.

 

[-SD-]

Ditto for when a guy would rather be at a strip bar with his buddies after a fight with you. We arent punishing you, we just dont want to be in the presence of an annoying bitch.

 

[-SD-]

I agree and disagree. I have no real interest in sleeping with someone who I'm mad at but at the same time, he tends to turn into an even more pissy and miserable creature if he's not getting any.

Dont think aandd is married, if she were she would understand this critical point regarding men.

 

[nycgirl]

I don't understand the whole punishing thing (and yes, I'm not married). What is the point? Seems a bit childish to me. I don't believe in going to bed angry and upset (you are not promised tomorrow - which is why I would always kiss the person I'm with goodnight).

 

[aandd]

Dont think aandd is married, if she were she would understand this critical point regarding men.

LOL. Yes I am. Have been for 4 years.

 

[Raina]

....I'd be mad if he just left and went to a strip club, or the grocery store, or anywhere for that matter. Grown ups deal with problems. They don't storm out in a tantrum and act like they're 13. I have no tolerance for that crap.

99% of the time is well as long as the one in the wrong appologizes. We're both push overs for just bucking up and admitting when we're wrong. But sometimes people are just crabby and don't do well around others. That's why he's finishing the basement because he goes and hides down there when we need space. lol

 

[aandd]

Ditto for when a guy would rather be at a strip bar with his buddies after a fight with you. We arent punishing you, we just dont want to be in the presence of an annoying bitch.

Exactly my point. LOL.

 

[-SD-]

LOL. Yes I am. Have been for 4 years.

My condolences go out to your husband in that case.

 

[foreigngirl]

I agree and disagree. I have no real interest in sleeping with someone who I'm mad at but at the same time, he tends to turn into an even more pissy and miserable creature if he's not getting any.

very true

 

[slat1]

... it's not that you are being punished. It is that we don't like to put out for assholes and pricks, which we think you have been.

It is also not that we are holding a grudge. We are females, we have gargantuan memories. We just simply haven't yet forgotten what a total asshat you were during our last arguement.

Quit whining that you think it sucks that we would punish you for disagreeing with us and realize that, much like you, we don't want to bang someone for whom the very act of breathing is no longer up to our standards.

Thank you.

PS: this is a spin-off from another thread, and not reflective of my current state of mind with regard to my man.

Just thought I would pass this along.
This should never happen. If it does you are equally at fault. Why? Because you are trying to make a relationship work with someone you are not meant to be with.
If you are in a loving and caring relationship you will take the time to talk to your S/O and let them know why you feel the way you do. They inturn will explain their thought process leading up to what happened. That should be it. You would have an understanding of each other feelings so it would never happen again.
If you are not capable of acting like a mature person you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
If you attempt to have the conversation and your partner is not a willing participant. You do not have a partner.
Its pretty simple. If you feel the need to punish the person you are dating or married too. You are not with the right person!

 

[-SD-]

Just thought I would pass this along.
This should never happen. If it does you are equally at fault. Why? Because you are trying to make a relationship work with someone you are not meant to be with.
If you are in a loving and caring relationship you will take the time to talk to your S/O and let them know why you feel the way you do. They inturn will explain their thought process leading up to what happened. That should be it. You would have an understanding of each other feelings so it would never happen again.
If you are not capable of acting like a mature person you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
If you attempt to have the conversation and your partner is not a willing participant. You do not have a partner.
Its pretty simple. If you feel the need to punish the person you are dating or married too. You are not with the right person!

Dude, youre trying to talk sense to a spiteful wife. Forget it bor.

 

[habitualhealth]

It is also not that we are holding a grudge. We are females, we have gargantuan memories. We just simply haven't yet forgotten what a total asshat you were during our last arguement.

Wow, this is SO true! lol @ total asshat. Very well said.

Why is it that men expect their slate to be wiped clean in only a minutes time w/out them making any effort to make amends? God knows they don't budge until we're groveling at their feet.

 

[nycgirl]

If you are in a loving and caring relationship you will take the time to talk to your S/O and let them know why you feel the way you do. They inturn will explain their thought process leading up to what happened. That should be it. You would have an understanding of each other feelings so it would never happen again.
If you are not capable of acting like a mature person you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
If you attempt to have the conversation and your partner is not a willing participant. You do not have a partner.
Its pretty simple. If you feel the need to punish the person you are dating or married too. You are not with the right person!

Agreed.

That is your partner not a child. Taking a toy away from a child - fine. Withholding sex from your partner (which in my opinion is not a tool or game or some sort of reward) - immature.

I will also add another thought - behavior like this will possibly cause him to start looking someplace else to get the loving he isn't getting at home.

 

[aandd]

Just thought I would pass this along.
This should never happen. If it does you are equally at fault. Why? Because you are trying to make a relationship work with someone you are not meant to be with.
If you are in a loving and caring relationship you will take the time to talk to your S/O and let them know why you feel the way you do. They inturn will explain their thought process leading up to what happened. That should be it. You would have an understanding of each other feelings so it would never happen again.
If you are not capable of acting like a mature person you are not mature enough to be in a relationship.
If you attempt to have the conversation and your partner is not a willing participant. You do not have a partner.
Its pretty simple. If you feel the need to punish the person you are dating or married too. You are not with the right person!

Hmmm, I guess that's one r'ship dynamic. But there are MANY different ones out there. In all honesty - this was a bit toungue in cheek based on conversations I've had with other married female friends. In our house, we tend to argue it out right then, and then take a few days to let the after effects blow over.

I don't know about the whole "meant for each other" thing, I don't think I really believe that. I think that if you have deep feelings for each other and a commitment to the r'ship - most anything can be worked through.. soulmates or not.

 

[aandd]

That is your partner not a child. Taking a toy away from a child - fine. Withholding sex from your partner (which in my opinion is not a tool or game or some sort of reward) - immature.

Ok, this is my point though. It's not a reward OR a punishment. It's simply a fact of if two people arent' getting along, there is much less chance of an atmosphere condusive to sex being created.

I will also add another thought - behavior like this will possibly cause him to start looking someplace else to get the loving he isn't getting at home.

If there is infidelity, there are many many more issues in the rship than a simple fight.

 

[habitualhealth]

Agreed.

That is your partner not a child. Taking a toy away from a child - fine. Withholding sex from your partner (which in my opinion is not a tool or game or some sort of reward) - immature.

I will also add another thought - behavior like this will possibly cause him to start looking someplace else to get the loving he isn't getting at home.

I think this same idea can apply to the needs OUTSIDE of the bedroom. Emotional, supportive, encouraging, entertainment (ie: jokes, fun, laughter), affection. I do think there's a fine line of using "going somewhere else" just as an excuse to be a skeezer though. I think if a relationship is at that point...someone needs to be mature enough and just end it before much bigger problems occur. (imo)

Agreed, w/holding sex as a punishment is very immature (and not much fun if ya ask me). But, there's no way I'm hopping in the sack with someone if I'm pissed/hurt with them. Thanks, but I'll take the couch.

 

[slat1]

Hmmm, I guess that's one r'ship dynamic. But there are MANY different ones out there. In all honesty - this was a bit toungue in cheek based on conversations I've had with other married female friends. In our house, we tend to argue it out right then, and then take a few days to let the after effects blow over.

I don't know about the whole "meant for each other" thing, I don't think I really believe that. I think that if you have deep feelings for each other and a commitment to the r'ship - most anything can be worked through.. soulmates or not.

If you care and respect the other person you will be able to sit down and talk it out without yelling.
If you or your partner have to fight it out or yell there is a greater problem inside of both of you that needs to be addressed...

 

[alien amp pharm]

But, there's no way I'm hopping in the sack with someone if I'm pissed/hurt with them. Thanks, but I'll take the couch.

You belong in the floor.







...or the kitchen, take your pick.

 

[rnch]

the title of this thread sounds like the sex life of most of my married friends.

 

[ctrl_freak]

If you care and respect the other person you will be able to sit down and talk it out without yelling.
If you or your partner have to fight it out or yell there is a greater problem inside of both of you that needs to be addressed...

Problem also comes in when both partners are headstrong and stubborn as hell. Then what?

 

[slat1]

there's no way I'm hopping in the sack with someone if I'm pissed/hurt with them. Thanks, but I'll take the couch.

You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. You should be able to explain how what happened made you feel. Your partner should take the time to understand. It should be a moment where you grow even closer. You are baring your soul to each other. Understanding the inner workings.
If you are still pissed you are not communicating with you S/O... or.. they are not communicating with you.
The reality is that if you both took the time to understand each other and what happened... this could lead to an incredible session of sex that brings you closer.
I will never be with someone who can physically or emotionally detach themselves from me. If they can I am with the wrong person and I am out of there. I would rather be with someone who is secure and understands that there are miscommunications at times. Someone who realizes I love them and I did not mean to hurt them. Someone who will take the time to talk to me so I understand exactly how they feel so that I would never do what I did again. Thats love... thats a relationship!

 

[Deterass]

No way could i stay married to a bitch .

 

[TC2]

Agreed.

That is your partner not a child. Taking a toy away from a child - fine. Withholding sex from your partner (which in my opinion is not a tool or game or some sort of reward) - immature.

I will also add another thought - behavior like this will possibly cause him to start looking someplace else to get the loving he isn't getting at home.

Word..Only times I have ever cheated was when a gf pulled that withholding for punishment bullshit.



I understand if a man just does some fucked shit and the girl is really pissed at him, but withholding sex simply because you did not get your way is childish as hell and you deserve what you get.

 

[Deterass]

My condolences go out to your husband in that case.

ditto......

 

[habitualhealth]

You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. You should be able to explain how what happened made you feel. Your partner should take the time to understand. It should be a moment where you grow even closer. You are baring your soul to each other. Understanding the inner workings.
If you are still pissed you are not communicating with you S/O... or.. they are not communicating with you.
The reality is that if you both took the time to understand each other and what happened... this could lead to an incredible session of sex that brings you closer.
I will never be with someone who can physically or emotionally detach themselves from me. If they can I am with the wrong person and I am out of there. I would rather be with someone who is secure and understands that there are miscommunications at times. Someone who realizes I love them and I did not mean to hurt them. Someone who will take the time to talk to me so I understand exactly how they feel so that I would never do what I did again. Thats love... thats a relationship!

This is a great post slat. But the first paragraph is filled with "should". You're right, you and your partner "should" do alot of things to make it work. It "should" work where BOTH people care enough about the situation to identify it immediately and bend over backward to make the changes necessary to bring happiness and peace back to the relationship. (so they can't wait to get in there and make whoopie) Coulda shoulda woulda's are a prob for me in any relationship. I see black and white. No gray area. If gray tries to make a presence I immediately try to break it down to it's natural state. (black and white) I don't think there's anything that makes my blood boil more than an indirectness. Just as in a career, as a parent, with friends....if there's a problem you address it immediately and work together to make sure it never resurfaces. (imo) Takes two to tango.

But I agree with aandd and nycgirl...maturity is so important for a healthy relationship.

 

[habitualhealth]

Word..Only times I have ever cheated was when a gf pulled that withholding for punishment bullshit.

So is it ok for a girl to go out and cheat so to speak if a guy is doing nothing to address/correct is mistakes and wrongdoings?

I understand if a man just does some fucked shit and the girl is really pissed at him, but withholding sex simply because you did not get your way is childish as hell and you deserve what you get.

I promote taking away dinner/sportscenter before taking away sex. (for punishment) lol

 

[TC2]

So is it ok for a girl to go out and cheat so to speak if a guy is doing nothing to address/correct is mistakes and wrongdoings?

I promote taking away dinner/sportscenter before taking away sex. (for punishment) lol

Depends(it might sound sexist but it's not) alot of the time women expect men to be mind readers(suprise..we're not!!).

If a man is withholding sex(yeah right) then yes, a woman should get it elsewhere.

 

[habitualhealth]

Problem also comes in when both partners are headstrong and stubborn as hell. Then what?

Sounds like an excuse to let things go unaddressed. Some of my best friends in the world are stubborn as hell and headstrong. To be honest, I typically don't work well with weakminded individuals...so, it's to be expected that we won't see eye to eye on everything. But as slat said, there's an understood respect, if warranted, that we care/love each other enough (my friends & i) that we want to understand each other better and really see where each person is coming from. It's not a battle of who's right and wrong...often times we call each other morons and just agree to disagree. That's ok too. But at least it's out in the open and we all know what the other feels.

On another hand, if I've done something to hurt/wrong one of them...I will go above and beyond the call of duty to make it right and to make sure they know i will NEVER do it again. Fact is, it kills me if I know I've done something to hurt someone I care about/love. Happy faces is what makes me happy.

 

[KillahBee]

PSA - (and this was probably said already) - we are cheating on you. with our secretary, with the stripper we met on that "business trip", and with your best friend.

 

[habitualhealth]

Wow, HH, great post. Seems like you have your shite together.

You mentioned you don't work well with weakminded individuals, perhaps not everyone is like you. Some people believe it or not have a hard time expressing themselves, not cause they don't want too, maybe cause they simply were never in an environment where they COULD express themselves without backlash. (ie, your thoughts are not right, you only see the negatives, etc..) Thoughts?

Thanks. My opinion...OPINION...this line "not cause they don't want too, maybe cause they simply were never in an environment where they COULD express themselves without backlash." is a great excuse to ride out the victim crutch in life. I could get really personal and tell you I had a shitty childhood...not only was I not in an environment to express myself, I was beat when I did. I never had (in my mind) an accurate representation of what "loving communication" was. So, I would toss someone using that line in "weakminded" category.

Who we are today may very well be a replica of what our past was...but if our past was so horrible, why in the world would we want to mimick that behavior or time period?? Seems ludacris to me. We have control over today to create the past we see tomorrow. Wouldn't we focus on being the opposite and making something better of the present? Molested, raped, beaten, cheated on, a drug/alcoholic, no family, lack of affection, etc....all things are horrible acts to happen to anyone...but should they define who we are as a person? And even if you didn't experience anything as traumatic as those....perhaps there's something in your own life. I didn't have life handed to me on a silver platter....no clue as a kid what love/affection was....but I know today what my perception is and how I want to give and it be reciprocated. I can make myself or break myself based on my past. The things I could not control have made me stronger & the wrongdoings I've done I've been attentive to, corrected them, and changed who I am so that everyone who knows me, knows they will never resurface. I like to think this is what creates maturity and responsibility in life. Being accountable for my actions at all times. Understanding who I am and what my needs are so I'm able to understand those around me. (just my $.02)

 

[SoKlueles]

dang HH your old

 

[sigweed]

its probably not a good sign either that the sex is bad enough that you don't even care to go without it

 

[habitualhealth]

dang HH your old

wtf? bite me hooker.

 

[SoKlueles]

wtf? bite me hooker.

dang ur rude for an old lady

 

[slat1]

Someone say hookers?

 

[habitualhealth]

Someone say hookers?

yeah klu is out here somewhere

 

[spongebob]

... it's not that you are being punished. It is that we don't like to put out for assholes and pricks, which we think you have been.

It is also not that we are holding a grudge. We are females, we have gargantuan memories. We just simply haven't yet forgotten what a total asshat you were during our last arguement.

Quit whining that you think it sucks that we would punish you for disagreeing with us and realize that, much like you, we don't want to bang someone for whom the very act of breathing is no longer up to our standards.

Thank you.

PS: this is a spin-off from another thread, and not reflective of my current state of mind with regard to my man.

all fights should be settled by bedtime.......or


hey if you wont tell me yes ill find someone who will.

 

[SoreArms]

if you don't want to fuck me baby, baby fuck off!

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

just shut up and spread your legs anyways.....

 

[Sub-Zero]

Wow, this is SO true! lol @ total asshat. Very well said.

Why is it that men expect their slate to be wiped clean in only a minutes time w/out them making any effort to make amends? God knows they don't budge until we're groveling at their feet.

iif a woman cooks a bad dinner, we dont withold sex from them, or cancel their credit card, we are nicea bout it and eat it anyway.


if i had a wife and she wouldnt have sex with me because i wouldnt agree with her, id take the last couple things i bought her, pawn em, and go buy a hooker.