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oddest thing used for lube when jacking it?

T

tiger88

New member
man o man


when i was like 14

i used it all to lube it to beat it


sun screen

hair gel


what ever was around and at the time

vasoline is the best

but clean up sucks ass

and u get oily stains on ur covers so madre may find out i was flopping the dolphin
 
dude, when young I thinK I used bar soap man! fucked my shit up all kinds of ways! what else, hmm yeah tried gel, lotion sucks, vaseline too thick, flax oil ,lol I had this chick over, had a porn going, she was suckin but couldnt make me blow, so I busted out a bottle of flax seed! she was like wtf is that? I said Ive gone all organic baby and proceeded to blow one on her chest, lollll
 
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Neosporin. spit. THats about it aside from vasoline & hand lotion. I hate vasoline too its hard to clean up.

Never masturbate in the shower with soap.
 
stay hard creme or gel or whatever it was. i was 14. dunno what i was thinkin. that stuff can really desensitize you. what started off as "ok, 5 minutes, blow my load, i'll be happy" turned into 45 minutes, dick was getting sore, and hard as a rock. i was a trooper though. i finally blew my load and my dick was rock solid for a few hours afterwards.
 
fucked a peanut butter jar. Used honey also. Now THATS hard to clean up.
 
seriously, fukking icy-hott...I wish I could say this was a long time ago, but it was only last year and I'm 26...





don't use icy-hott...
 
uh, i didn't need anyone to tell me not to use icy hot on my dick and sure as hell didn't need to find out personally.

what in the hell is wrong with you?
 
One trick actually made an attempt to mount my cock after "lubing" up with Alberto Hair Mousse. True story. If you can image your cock sliding into a nice dry sandpaper lined hole, you will know what it felt like.
 
crak600 said:
Aap - Why???!!!
Click to expand...

Apparently, that is all he had handy. I met him and went back to his hotel... after laying back, he sucked me for about 10 mins and then put the condom on me, he sits up and I hear this kind whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrshhhhh noise and don't think anything, because - hey, lube comes in a variety of different containers. Including one that looks like an oil gun for a car. He lubes up and hops aboard and plops down.... I gasp, toss him off of me and look down and it had been so dry, the condom was shredded to bits.

I was like "ummm I ain't into that anal stuff... use your mouth some more."
 
yes I did, but not from jacking. Just hunting or campijng and then taking a piss...head swole up like a syhnthol inflated mushroom...cortizone shots and prednisone pack...I had this happen a few times, but hey growing up in the country things happen.
 
yeah, had it happen to me once as well. didn't have to get any shots or nothin though. i was always out in the woods when i was younger. went to bed one night and my dick was real itchy, didn't think much of it. woke up in the morning and it was bigger. i was excited. i was 14. i'm lookin at it and thinkin "yeah, this is cool! that sucker is gettin thicker!"

later on that day, i'm in school and my dick has been itchy all day long. i go to take a piss, and i look at it and i'm thinkin, ok, it's gettin thicker, but only on one side....hope it evens out soon and starts to get longer as it gets thicker.

by the time i got home, i looked like Beavis in that Tainted Meat episode where his thingy itched and he couldn't stop scratching it (this was a few years before that eipsode came out). when my dad came home, i asked him if it was possible to get poison ivy dick, and he said yeah, and then laughed at me for a little bit.

sucker itched for 3 or 4 days. gettin wood was a horrible experience. painful. and i couldn't jerk it for almost a week. that was the worst part...14 and can't jerk off for a whole week. i thought i was gonna explode by the time i was able to jerk it again.
 
crak600 said:
what's a good lube for anal anyway? just your regular waterbased stuff like astroglide?
Click to expand...


Astroglide sucks.

Platinum Wet. That's the best for anal. If she finds it uncomfortable when you engage in anal try Anal Ease. It has a numbing agent which some people seem to like.
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
Astroglide sucks.

Platinum Wet. That's the best for anal. If she finds it uncomfortable when you engage in anal try Anal Ease. It has a numbing agent which some people seem to like.
Click to expand...


lol

you know your shit

why is it all you latinas like anal?
 
Anal Ease is the WORST thing you can use for anal sex. You do NOT want to numb that area back there. Pain is there for a reason. You desensitize yourself and you can end up with some hellacious tears in the anal lining that otherwise could be avoided. Also, AE will also numb him causing his orgasm to be delayed, which means more pounding in the rear for the other person. If I poke someone, at the first sign of pain (unnatural), I am out of there. It ain't worth jeapordizing someone's health just for your orgasm.

I prefer to use Eros. It costs a bit more, but that is some silky smooth feeling stuff. And you only need a tiny bit. No more of this sloppy triple coatings while it drips on the bed.
 
trust me.. you tear the anal lining, take a dump the next day and end up getting all infected and shit. then don't nobody want none of that booty.
 
i'm not too big on the Platinum Wet stuff. it actually seems to get "used up" faster than astroglide does. what i mean by used up is it seems to soak into the skin faster. havn't used it for anal, but have used it during sex and for beatin the meat, and for beatin the meat, i gotta keep adding more. astroglide seems to last a lot longer for jerkin it and for sex, but i havn't used it for anal either.

AAP - good point with the anal ease. never tried it, and now never will. i'll have to look for the EROS, i think i've seen it in the Adam and Eve catalog, can't remember.

i kinda prefer the wet feeling over the silky feeling, but what's better for anal, wet or silky? wouldgetmorethanbuttfuckedenuffifiwassingle_girl, if you answer this, keep "comfort" in mind, not pain ;)
 
crak600 said:
i kinda prefer the wet feeling over the silky feeling, but what's better for anal, wet or silky? wouldgetmorethanbuttfuckedenuffifiwassingle_girl, if you answer this, keep "comfort" in mind, not pain ;)
Click to expand...


With her comfort in mind I would think silky would be better. No matter what anal is going to be painful at first. After the first couple of minutes after things get situated then it's pleasurable.
 
In the beginning it is painful, however there is a difference between good pain and bad pain.

I think the "wet" feeling is very sloppy. I don't like it.
 
so silky is better for anal. got it. thanks for the tips.

eh, uh, i have another question. i'm getting advice on proper lube for anal from a man who isn't gay, but prefers his blowjobs and sex from men that are gay. is that gay?
 
Well I like women with hairy chests too.

But I ain't gay.
 
Sh4dowF4lcon said:
to lube? ew.
Click to expand...

nah not really, but that would be pretty disgusting.

i don't use lube. i feel sorry for all you guys that need to use lube. :D

i also feel sorry for all you people allergic to poison ivy. i can roll in the shit and never get it.
 
Taps said:
too much talk of assfucking in this thread
Click to expand...

oh common, just picture 2 grown men French kissing, sucking dick, and squatting down on each others dicks, it's a beautiful picture..you can almost smell the shit in the air


:FRlol:








:)






:rolleyes:







:(









:sick:
 
well, once when I was with guy I thought it would be really cool to use ben gay on his dick- ya know as lube & kinda tingling (sp) feeling. But instead- he gets up screaming from bed like his dick was burning off. LOL.

bottom line- dont use ben gay as lube!
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
well, once when I was with guy I thought it would be really cool to use ben gay on his dick- ya know as lube & kinda tingling (sp) feeling. But instead- he gets up screaming from bed like his dick was burning off. LOL.

bottom line- dont use ben gay as lube!
Click to expand...

:lmao:
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
well, once when I was with guy I thought it would be really cool to use ben gay on his dick- ya know as lube & kinda tingling (sp) feeling. But instead- he gets up screaming from bed like his dick was burning off. LOL.

bottom line- dont use ben gay as lube!
Click to expand...


oh no.....he musta had half a brain cell tops
 
jerkbox said:
oh no.....he musta had half a brain cell tops
Click to expand...

LOL- what do you mean??? ok-- it wasent that smart but who knew? In college I had this really bimbo roomate & she used lipstick as lube for anal sex so anyway one night she starts like freaking out cause her ass is all red!!she thinks her boyfriend ripped her anus in half- when it turns out to be her RED lipstick!!

pretty funny :)
 
i slept with an older woman once (i was 19, she was 37 i think). she kinda freaked me out cause she kept trying to stick fingers in my ass and lick my ass. even now i wouldn't let a chick do that.

anyway, i had been hanging out at her house all day. she wanted me to try some beef jerky, so i did. shit started burning my mouth pretty quick. was cayenne pepper beef jerky. i like hot foods, but didn't care for the taste of this.

anyway, that night, we went at it for a while. after we got done, i went downstairs to grab a drink and some cigs. i come back upstairs and i'm laying in bed finishing a cigarette, she says "lemme suck your dick." well shit, i'm not gonna say no! i figured if she got it up again, i'd go at it again, no problem. after a few minutes, i'm startin to get that feeling, you know that feeling, the one that says "if she keeps this up, i'm going for another round." few more minutes go by and it starts getting really warm, but felt damn good. another minute or two and all of the sudden my dick feels like it's on fire.

whoa, hold on a second....what the hell is going on here?

she's got this wicked smile on her face...my dick is burning hot..."i ate some of that beef jerky" and dives right back into action.

i almost threw her off the bed trying to get her off of me. that shit was not funny at all. my dick is burning like hell, she's laughing. i said i was gonna have to go get some ice to cool myself off.

"go get the ice big boy...."

bitch would've probably tried to stick an ice cube up my ass or something. i declined.

she wondered why i never wanted to sleep with her again. gee, go figure.
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
LOL- what do you mean??? ok-- it wasent that smart but who knew? In college I had this really bimbo roomate & she used lipstick as lube for anal sex so anyway one night she starts like freaking out cause her ass is all red!!she thinks her boyfriend ripped her anus in half- when it turns out to be her RED lipstick!!

pretty funny :)
Click to expand...

Damn thats hardcore!
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
With her comfort in mind I would think silky would be better. No matter what anal is going to be painful at first. After the first couple of minutes after things get situated then it's pleasurable.
Click to expand...

So it will get pleasurable? I just cant seem to get past the initial pain factor. Only tried it twice and each time was extremely uncomfortable. Thought about not ever doing it again, but if it does eventually feel good, then I guess the pain is worth it.
 
cutiepie04 said:
So it will get pleasurable? I just cant seem to get past the initial pain factor. Only tried it twice and each time was extremely uncomfortable. Thought about not ever doing it again, but if it does eventually feel good, then I guess the pain is worth it.
Click to expand...


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