New York Cock Exchange

[p0ink]

NyCockExchange Hello. What's goin' on
disyoshi not much
disyoshi just got home
disyoshi u got a pic
NyCockExchange Oh. Just got home
disyoshi yeah
NyCockExchange From where
disyoshi party
NyCockExchange Oh. Are you wasted?
disyoshi yes
disyoshi u
NyCockExchange No. I don't do drugs. Hey, play a little game with me, and I'll show you my pic, okay
disyoshi ok
disyoshi drinking isnt drugs
NyCockExchange Alright. Here's the game: You're in my house, and you're looking for a naked picture of me. You have to find it, okay
disyoshi ok
NyCockExchange Right now, you're standing inside the front door, in the living room. There's a hallway to the right, a kitchen in front, and a den to the left.
NyCockExchange What will you do
disyoshi i go down the hallway
NyCockExchange Okay. You start walking down the hallway. There are doors to the left and right near you, and there are doors to the left and right further down the hall.
NyCockExchange Now what
disyoshi which one is your room
NyCockExchange Ummm, you have to find out!
disyoshi which one is the bathroom, i have to piss
NyCockExchange Okay! You should head to the right for that.
disyoshi thanks
disyoshi ill be right back
NyCockExchange Okay. You're in the bathroom. There is a sink, tub, and toilet. And a medicine chest.
NyCockExchange What will you do here
disyoshi piss in the toilet
NyCockExchange Okay. You take out your cock, and aim it into the open toilet. You piss for a while, then flush it down. You zip back up. Now what
disyoshi then i walk down the hall and go in the room on the right
NyCockExchange Okay. This is my little sister's room. There are Hanson posters, a bed with pink sheet, a closet, and dresser.
disyoshi i walk down the hall and go in the room on the right
disyoshi not the right room
disyoshi how old is your sis
NyCockExchange 12.
disyoshi nevermind
disyoshi i go in the room across the hall
NyCockExchange Left or right
disyoshi on the left
NyCockExchange Okay. This is my room. There is a closet, dressers, a bed, and a nightstand.
disyoshi r u in there
NyCockExchange You are. Find the pic!
disyoshi ok
disyoshi i search through the dressers
disyoshi nice underwear
NyCockExchange Top, middle, or bottom drawer
disyoshi bottom
NyCockExchange You open the drawer, and see my panties, socks, and bras.
disyoshi i look under them
NyCockExchange You see the bottom of the drawer.
disyoshi what size are your bras
disyoshi no pic
NyCockExchange They're 32 B
disyoshi i look in the middle
NyCockExchange Okay! This drawer is kind of cluttered with books, magazines, and papers.
disyoshi i look through everything
NyCockExchange You find a Playboy and a Photo Album!
disyoshi looking for a naked pic of a chick with 32b tits
NyCockExchange Open the photo album
disyoshi i look through the playboy and my cock gets hard
NyCockExchange Cool! Is your cock hard right now
disyoshi i open the photo album and search through it
disyoshi after i piss it will be
NyCockExchange Okay. First page has a pic of my friends Joe and Jason. They're naked and sucking each other's dicks.
disyoshi next page
disyoshi my dick just went limp
NyCockExchange Next page has a picture of my friend Megan, eating raw pork blindfolded.
disyoshi is she naked
NyCockExchange No. She has nice legs, though!
disyoshi nice
disyoshi next page
NyCockExchange Okay. The next page has a picture of my buddy Todd fucking a small goat. He's waving at the camera/
disyoshi dick very limp
disyoshi i turn the page and run to the bathroom
disyoshi brb
NyCockExchange Okay. The next page features my dad and brother kissing deeply. They're almost nude.
disyoshi ewwwww
disyoshi im back
disyoshi next page
NyCockExchange Right. On the next page, you find a picture of a mutilated animal. It's too disfigured for you to figure out which species. It's lying in a pool of its own blood.
disyoshi what
disyoshi i turn to the last page
NyCockExchange Okay. There is a picture of me on the last page!
disyoshi great
disyoshi did i find it
NyCockExchange I am laying, mostly naked on my bed. My head is on the pillow, and my legs are partly spread.
disyoshi can you send it
NyCockExchange I have a little white tube top on, and a small plaid skirt. My glorious chunk of throbbing man-cock is poking out of the skirt.
disyoshi man-cock
NyCockExchange Ummm....
disyoshi u m or f
NyCockExchange As you wonder this, staring at the picture, you feel hands on your shoulders....
NyCockExchange I grab you from behind, bend you over, and shove my huge, pulsating cock into your ass! Again and again and again I pound into you!
disyoshi what the fuck
NyCockExchange Soon, my man-seed (semen) fills your bowels. As it drips from your asshole, I force you to your knees and hold my cock in front of your mouth. ...You know what to do!
disyoshi u the fuck r u
NyCockExchange My cock is awaiting impatiently. What do you do
disyoshi i cut the fucker off and feed it to you
disyoshi i shove it down your throat and make you choke on it
disyoshi you die, but no one cares because you are a fucking flamer
NyCockExchange Too slow! I backfist you, and hit your mouth with tremendous power!! Having no teeth, I pry open your mouth and slide my massive dick in!
NyCockExchange You can taste your shit & my cum on my cock.

Previous message was not received by disyoshi because of error
User disyoshi is not available.

 

[frorider6]

ummmmmm. I'm speechless.

 

[p0ink]

Bell Boy Bondage

BagelMan13G : hi
BagelMan13G : wanna fuvk or something?
NYCockExchange : Sure thing... Bagels are sexy.
NYCockExchange : They're soft & they have little holes in the middle.
NYCockExchange : That's a good start.
BagelMan13G : lol
BagelMan13G : how big yur tits?
NYCockExchange : They are tiny because of my sex and age.
BagelMan13G : oh ok
NYCockExchange : Yeah.
BagelMan13G : u or mr start?
BagelMan13G : me
NYCockExchange : I'd like Mr. start.... So I'll begin, if that's okay with you.
NYCockExchange : We all have our preferences, you know?
BagelMan13G : ok
NYCockExchange : Alright - we start off in a hotel. We just entered our room, and we're unpacking our bags.
BagelMan13G : what u wanna do after we unpack?
NYCockExchange : I think it'd be great if we ordered some champagne! What do you think?
BagelMan13G : I would like that
BagelMan13G : -calls room service and orders a bottle of champagne
NYCockExchange : Sweet! I get on the bed, and start to undress.
NYCockExchange : Soon, there is a knock on the door.
BagelMan13G : - goes to the door and grabs the bottle before the man sees you
NYCockExchange : It's a bellboy at the door, with a bottle of champagne. He holds it out to you, at first with an expectant look...
NYCockExchange : ...then the look changes to one of amazement. He looks you up and down, eyeballing every inch of your body.
BagelMan13G : got a problem?
NYCockExchange : (Who are you talking to?)
BagelMan13G : bellboy
NYCockExchange : He smiles back nervously, and nods.
NYCockExchange : Then he runs away.
BagelMan13G : that was strange
BagelMan13G : takes the bottle, and opens it with foam comming out the end
NYCockExchange : "Yes," I say, as I start to unbutton my pants. "He seems like a quiet fellow."
NYCockExchange : Mmm... I like long, hard things that foam.
BagelMan13G : lol
BagelMan13G : takes the bottle and pours some into two glasses
NYCockExchange : As you pour the champagne, there is another knock on the door.
BagelMan13G : goes and sees whos at the door
NYCockExchange : It's the bellboy! He is holding a dozen red roses, and he hands them to you.
BagelMan13G : whos this for?
NYCockExchange : He enters the room slowly, unbuttoning his shirt. He begins singing, "This one goes out to the one I love...."
BagelMan13G : stares in puzzlement
NYCockExchange : The bellboy walks toward you, with his arms open wide. Soon, you find the roses behind you, as he takes you in a warm embrace.
BagelMan13G : screams,"What the hell!?"
NYCockExchange : You can feel him pressing against your leg; it's obvious that he has an erection. As you scream, he lowers his hands to your buttocks, and grabs firmly. I watch in amusement.
BagelMan13G : pushes him off of me screaming at him
NYCockExchange : He stumbles back, falling against the wall. He seems a little hurt... but more emotionally than physically.
BagelMan13G : asks him,"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
NYCockExchange : He quickly regains his composure. He stands up and brushes himself off. Then, he stares you right in the eyes, and sings, "You've lost... that lovin' feeling!! Whooa-oooh, that lovin' feeling! You've lost that loooovin' feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone!"
BagelMan13G : laughs very hard
NYCockExchange : As you're laughing, the bellboy runs up to you, and embraces you again - this time with one arm. You find his other arm between your clenched bodies, his hand fumbling desperately for your zipper.
BagelMan13G : is really pissed off now, I make a fist and connect quite hard with his jaw
NYCockExchange : The bellboy is hit hard! He flies back into the wall, and crumples to the ground again.
NYCockExchange : I sit on the bed, a little shocked at the sudden display of violence.
BagelMan13G : asks,"Now are you gonna tell me what you're trying to do?"
NYCockExchange : (Who are you talking to?)
BagelMan13G : (bellboy)
NYCockExchange : The bellboy, once again, shows a look of pain and surprise. He slowly gets to his feet, with a tear in his eye.
NYCockExchange : He dusts himself off, then looks at you. Suddenly, his mouth flies open, and he sings: "Do you really want to huuuurt me? Do you really want to make me cry??"
BagelMan13G : looks confused, turns to you and asks,"Do you know what this is about?
NYCockExchange : "I'm not sure," I answer, rubbing my chin. "Did you forget to pay him for the champagne?"
NYCockExchange : "Either that, or he wants hot sex with you." I shrug.
BagelMan13G : takes a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and hands it to the bellboy, "Now get lost"
NYCockExchange : The bellboy looks down at the $100 dollar bill, resting in your outstretched palm. He takes it from you, and heads for the door.
BagelMan13G : all that for money? jeez
BagelMan13G : jumps on the bed next to where you are and says,"You in the mood?"
NYCockExchange : Suddenly, the bellboy spins around! He throws the Benjamin to the ground, and starts singing, "You don't have to be rich, to be my girl! You don't have to be cool, to rule my world! Ain't no particular sign, I'm compatible with, I just want your extra touch, your.... KISS!"
BagelMan13G : (you want me to go with this guy?)
NYCockExchange : (It's up to you! I personally don't like having sex with flaming homosexuals, but it's up to you.)
BagelMan13G : (um no, can we just get to the good stuff?)
NYCockExchange : (Sure! ) I take a drink of the champagne. "You sure do know how to pick the right hotels, BagelMan!" I smile.
BagelMan13G : takes a drink also
BagelMan13G : goes over to you and kisses you deeply, moving his tongue into your mouth
NYCockExchange : I begin unbuttoning your pants. I fumble with the button and zipper, then pull the pants down to your knees.
BagelMan13G : moves his hands up yur shirt, unsnapping yur bra
NYCockExchange : I moan lightly, leaning my head back. Suddenly, my eyes open wide - I stare into the space behind you, and you feel a hand tapping on your shoulder.
BagelMan13G : I turn
NYCockExchange : It's the bellboy! He's standing before you, completely naked. "Oh, Bagel, Bagel, how was I supposed to know? That something wasn't right! Oh Bagel, Bagel, I shouldn't have let you go... Show me how you want it to be... tell me Bagel, 'cause I need to know now!"
BagelMan13G : says,"screw it!"
NYCockExchange : He has an erection, and he's stroking it. His eyes move up and down, between your face and your ass. He smiles suggestively.
BagelMan13G : fine
BagelMan13G : continues kissing you
NYCockExchange : I wrap my arms around you, leaning in for a kiss. You can taste the champagne on my breath.
BagelMan13G : moves his hands to yur tits, and squeezes em
BagelMan13G : kisses you
NYCockExchange : You can also feel a hard, thick penis poking at your rectum, followed by a couple of strong bellboy hands on your hips.
BagelMan13G : ouch!
BagelMan13G : moves my hands down to yur zipper, unzipps it revealing yur panties
NYCockExchange : As his large, erect cock works it's way into your colon, you can hear him singing, "I want to know what love is! I want you to show me!"
NYCockExchange : (I'm not wearing panties. I'm wearing boxers.)
BagelMan13G : slides down yur boxers
BagelMan13G : slides his hard cock into yur pussy, pushing very hard
NYCockExchange : As you slide my boxers down, I quickly glare up at the Bellboy, and tell him that I want to trade places with him.
NYCockExchange : The bellboy nods, with a knowing grin. I move out from under you, and get behind your bent frame. The bellboy squirms his way under your semi-naked body, face-down.
NYCockExchange : He reaches behind himself, groping for your cock. Finding it, he directs it into his ass. At precisely the same moment, you feel *my* thick, hard 10" cock sliding into your ass.
NYCockExchange : The bellboy sings, with a strained voice: "People of the world! Join hands! And let's start a love train! Love train!"

 

[p0ink]

wertpoo9 : hey, nice profile
wertpoo9 : you seem like my kinda girl
Doug Stanhope : Thanks.
wertpoo9 : so you enjoy cybering with older men?
Doug Stanhope : You seem like my kinda baited.
Doug Stanhope : Only older men. Young guys get all jizzin in their shorts too quick without making sure you're done.
wertpoo9 : i remmeber those days
wertpoo9 : so, how big are your tits?
Doug Stanhope : How old are you, Pops?
wertpoo9 : i'm 24
Doug Stanhope : Tell me all about yourself. Save dick size for last.
wertpoo9 : i'm 6'2" 184 lbs
wertpoo9 : green eyes
wertpoo9 : wavey blonde hair
wertpoo9 : nice body
wertpoo9 : great six pack
Doug Stanhope : No, no no...
Doug Stanhope : Tel me about you!
wertpoo9 : like what i like to do?
Doug Stanhope : Your hopes, your dreams your revelations from 24 years on this wonderful earth!
Doug Stanhope : Then I'll suck your cock real hard!
wertpoo9 : i hope to finish my law degree in the next few years
wertpoo9 : i've relized that fucking around in high school was a mistake
wertpoo9 : i could have done 10 times better, and have already been done with college
wertpoo9 : i want to marry a beautiful woman someday and have kids... family stuff, maybe even a dog
Doug Stanhope : Well at least you learned whats important.
wertpoo9 : i would love to
wertpoo9 : i just was wondering, how big are tyour tits
Doug Stanhope : I need it like I need a hug and a father figure.
Doug Stanhope : Big!
Doug Stanhope : Real Big!
wertpoo9 : souds good
Doug Stanhope : I have to wear a brace becuz of them or i won't walk right when i get older.
Doug Stanhope : I have really bad scoliosis.
Doug Stanhope : I walk like a monkey as it is.
wertpoo9 : so, where would you like to do it sweety?
Doug Stanhope : In the back of the police station. I am the girl booking you and you try to strike a deal!
Doug Stanhope : You start!
wertpoo9 : i sit you down and begin to slwly slide your pants off
Doug Stanhope : Hey, dick, did you even read what i wrote?
wertpoo9 : what?
Doug Stanhope : You don't just slide off my pants!
Doug Stanhope : I am a female officer and I have you handcuffed in the back of the police station.
wertpoo9 : ok
Doug Stanhope : You are at my mercy and try to cut a deal. No roleplay or beat it.
Doug Stanhope : Try again.
Doug Stanhope : Now roleplay*
wertpoo9 : hety honey, if you let me out of these handcuffs i can make it worth your while
Doug Stanhope : Not a chance, baby-raper. Now get up against that wall so I can check your pockets for contraband.
wertpoo9 : do me a favor and move your hand to the left
Doug Stanhope : Wow, whats this is your pocket? Are you trying to smuggle in a wart-riddled half a banana?
Doug Stanhope : Thats gonna cost you!
wertpoo9 : it's been a long time since it's been touched
Doug Stanhope : I bring you into the drunk tank and cuff you to the metal bunk.
wertpoo9 : oh come on
Doug Stanhope : "of course it's been a long time, Creepo! have you looked in a mirror lately?"
wertpoo9 : are you just gonna leve me like this?
Doug Stanhope : No, first I am going to take down your pants!
Doug Stanhope : I pull your slacks down over your dimpled fat ass cheeks.
wertpoo9 : what so you can have baba come rape me in my sleep?
Doug Stanhope : There is a stench from where you drew mud when you first heard the sirens.
Doug Stanhope : Yes, you may be raped. It's jail, that happens.
Doug Stanhope : But not until I am done with you!
wertpoo9 : in your case, you can't rape the willing
Doug Stanhope : I place your swollen cock between me thumb and forefinger like it's day-old poop.
Doug Stanhope : I set it on the hard edge of the metal bunk.
wertpoo9 : the cold feels good
Doug Stanhope : You shiver from the cold steel.
Doug Stanhope : I raise my baton up over my head and come crashing down on your dirty cock!
Doug Stanhope : SLAM!

wertpoo9 : ahw!!!!
Doug Stanhope : The head is torn clean off!
wertpoo9 : what the hell are you doing?
Doug Stanhope : Blood spurts from the recoiling shaft!
Doug Stanhope : You yelp like a wounded puppy!
Doug Stanhope : I grab your balls and heave them up from behind you, in between your fat white thighs.
wertpoo9 : right...
Doug Stanhope : You begin to vomit!
Doug Stanhope : (I am so close to coming, please keep responding!)
wertpoo9 : you got problems little girl!
Doug Stanhope : I peel your ass cheeks apart and am caught with the shit smell of 1000 dying camels.
Doug Stanhope : It doesn't stop me.
wertpoo9 : how do you get off from chopping off a guys cock?
Doug Stanhope : I pull out 10 and one half inches of syphlittic horse-cock and jam it in your unwashed ass!
Doug Stanhope : (Just play along, and I'll get you off in a second)
wertpoo9 : you have serious problems
Doug Stanhope : By now, all the drunken Indians have stirred from their Sterno-induced hallucenations and are standing around you.
Doug Stanhope : They masturbate onto your back as you bellow from the horrible ass-pain!
Doug Stanhope : (I'll suck your cock with my girl-mouth in just a second)
wertpoo9 : what, you mean half my cock?
wertpoo9 : with the blood and everything?
Doug Stanhope : Just then your mother walks in to bail you out!
Doug Stanhope : (No, I'll suck it however you like)
Doug Stanhope : Your mother screams for your freedom but I explain to her why you are in jail.
Doug Stanhope : I tell her you are a dirty pedophile that likes to molest 13 yr old girls on the internet!
Doug Stanhope : She now sees my point and straps on her big black cock that she uses to fuck your dad!
Doug Stanhope : Slam! she comes into the cell, kicks out your teeth and fucks your bloody mouth while I continue to assault your ass!
Doug Stanhope : (Did you come yet?)
Doug Stanhope : She says that maybe if you weren't such a fuck up in high school, you wouldn't be a child molester now! She says your law degree is never going to happen once this AIM log is turned over to the powers that be.
Doug Stanhope : You begin to lose control of your bowels. Shit sprays everywhere, making the indians hard again.

 

[p0ink]

these were borrowed from www.baiting.org...so next time you (decem) try soliciting sex from minors, your log may end up on this joke site

 

[p0ink]

ummmmmm. I'm speechless.

what dont you get?

 

[frorider6]

what dont you get?

Oh, I understood what it was all about I guess. It just left me fucking speechless.

 

[NY Muscle]

p0ink pure comedy bro!!! you are just like me and my boys...on aol we go into chat rooms and get im's by homos all the time and we pretend we are gay and play a game we call "pass the fag" 1/2 way through the conversation ill say, hey man ill BRB, im me under my other name...the other name is my buddys..then he does the same until about 4 of us have toyed with this guy then we compile the whole convo...its fucking a work of art..


we do that in the shemale and tranny rooms too lol

we go in the room, 1st thing out of my mouth to these trannys is "hey whats up fellas, how about them yankees" they get so pissed them freaks!!

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

Hmmm... IMO, you guys need a fucking hobby..

 

[havoc]

Hmmm... IMO, you guys need a fucking hobby..

I'm with this gentleman on the subject at hand. peace

 

[p0ink]

Hmmm... IMO, you guys need a fucking hobby..

this shit is pasted from another site jackass...now go back to calling people anti-semetic and pasting shit you dont understand.

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

this shit is pasted from another site jackass...now go back to calling people anti-semetic and pasting shit you dont understand.

Again, let me reiterate.. Get a hobby Oinker.. Lol.. that fat lady tore your a new ass.. Hahahahah

 

[p0ink]

MrLuva757 : hey there sexy 18/m/wit pics here
Doug Stanhope : I'm a 14/f/with pussy here!
MrLuva757 : u got a pic?
Doug Stanhope : Nope.
MrLuva757 wants to directly connect. MrLuva757 is now directly connected.
Doug Stanhope : You're too young anyway.
MrLuva757 : im bout to be 19
Doug Stanhope : Ya, but do you know how to fuck?
MrLuva757 : shit girl i know what to do wit my 10 inch tool
MrLuva757 : trust me i would make u have triple orgasms
Doug Stanhope : That doesn't mean you know how to cyber.
Doug Stanhope : What's the kinkiest thing you've done?
MrLuva757 : oh i do trust me
MrLuva757 : fucked in a canoe out on the lake
Doug Stanhope : BO-ring.
MrLuva757 : lol
MrLuva757 : well what about u?
Doug Stanhope : ver do a Tiajuana Ham Salad?
Doug Stanhope : Ever*
MrLuva757 : tell me bout it
Doug Stanhope : You get blind-folded, fill a guys hairy ass up with ham salad and eat it while he slowly evacuates his colon. Trick is to stop eating right before you get to the poop.
Doug Stanhope : Kinda tops fucking in a canoe, huh?
MrLuva757 : well all i wanna know now is when me and u gonna do that?
MrLuva757 : maybe
Doug Stanhope : What else are you into, besides boring summer campshit?
MrLuva757 : im into anything baby jus name it
Doug Stanhope : I'mlooking at your pics and, no offense, you look like a stone-coldfaggot.
Doug Stanhope : I mean, seriously.
MrLuva757 : which ones?
Doug Stanhope : The ones on this site in your profile.
Doug Stanhope : http://www.picpage.com/users/se/sexyrich757/index.php3
Doug Stanhope : You sure like hanging out with other dudes and flexing, huh?
MrLuva757 : chill on that
MrLuva757 : thats my best friend of 12 years
Doug Stanhope : Ya, you must be real close to spend that much time shirtless with a camera together.
MrLuva757 : dayum girl wha i do to u? lol
Doug Stanhope : I wish I was there to do both of you.
MrLuva757 : what would u do to me?
Doug Stanhope : But I'm afraid I'd have to stop every ten seconds to crowbar your cocks from one-anothers mouths.
MrLuva757 : lol
Doug Stanhope : I mean, no offense.
MrLuva757 : naw chill my cock would be in your tight pussy
MrLuva757 direct connection is closed.
Doug Stanhope : Mmmmmm.
Doug Stanhope : My pussy is like wet velvet.
Doug Stanhope : My pussy is like wet velvet.
Doug Stanhope : I said that already.
MrLuva757 : my cock is rock hard
MrLuva757 wants to directly connect. Doug Stanhope .
Doug Stanhope : Thatnks, but I have seen you're pics already.
MrLuva757 : u got a mic?
Doug Stanhope : Trust me, I'll be hornier without them.
Doug Stanhope : No, mic.
MrLuva757 : i got one i can talk to u on it and u type
Doug Stanhope : Let's just type. If I heard your voice and you sounded as faggy as you look, I'd get all soft.
MrLuva757 : trust me baby i sound sexy
Doug Stanhope : Tell me something kinky you want to try.
MrLuva757 : and i look sexy 2 those were bad pics
Doug Stanhope : Bad pics? You mean the camera made you look like a truck stop queer, shirtless with bleached hair?
MrLuva757 : lol
MrLuva757 : can u hear me?
Doug Stanhope : My gooness, you sound dumb as a stick. Turn off the mic or I'll dry up like sand.
Doug Stanhope : goodness*
MrLuva757 : dayum girl u are harsh
Doug Stanhope : Now lets cyber, I'm done with the stupid shit. If I don't come soon I'll go sterile.
MrLuva757 : aiight baby lets do it then
Doug Stanhope : Tell me something kinky you want to try and don't say "Whatever you want".
MrLuva757 : well first i want u to tie me up completely
Doug Stanhope : Mmmmm.
Doug Stanhope : Yes.
Doug Stanhope : Where are we?
MrLuva757 : at the park at night
MrLuva757 : u tie me up butt naked to the bench
Doug Stanhope : Oooooh, the park. Where homos cruise, coincidently.
MrLuva757 : lol
Doug Stanhope : Ok., I tie you to the bench, you are stripped naked, chest down on the seat, ass exposed to me.
Doug Stanhope : I stand over you with a bamboo cane.
MrLuva757 : mmmmm i like rough
MrLuva757 : so what u plannin on doing with that cane?
Doug Stanhope : Your feet are two foot apart and both caught in bear traps, testicles dangling in the cool night air like a wilted bee's nest.
Doug Stanhope : Your hands are tied out at your sides like a backwards Christ figure and you await your punishment with an erection that could bust a windshield.
MrLuva757 : cool breeze is makin my cock get rock hard
Doug Stanhope : Tell me your sins, child, or you will feel the great anger of my staff.
MrLuva757 : and what if i dont want to tell u my sins
Doug Stanhope : Then you will feel great punishment.
MrLuva757 : oh im scared frightened with a huge hard on
Doug Stanhope : Then confess.
MrLuva757 : i confess i want u to hit me with that stick
Doug Stanhope : *brings down the stick across the back of your thigh. The tip breaks and hits your testicle, tearing open your bag.*
Doug Stanhope : Now confess to me.
MrLuva757 : ughhhh yes is that all u got?
Doug Stanhope : I take the broken tip of the cane and use it to pry apart your ass cheeks.
Doug Stanhope : Are you thirsty?
MrLuva757 : yes
Doug Stanhope : Beg me for a drink.
MrLuva757 : please give me a drink baby im dieing of thirst please give me a drink
Doug Stanhope : I rustle the bushes near us with my cane. Two park-homos scurry out.
Doug Stanhope : I corral one of them and direct him to piss in your mouth.
MrLuva757 : lol
Doug Stanhope : You drink like a dying man in a Bangkok prison.
Doug Stanhope : Now confess tome.
Doug Stanhope : to me*
MrLuva757 : i confess i want you to untie me and ride me like a clydesdale horse
Doug Stanhope : I will ride you while you are still tied, thank you.
MrLuva757 : yes mam
Doug Stanhope : I reach between your legs and jack you off like I am milking a dog.
MrLuva757 : mmmmmm
Doug Stanhope : You start to quiver, so I take the cane down upon your ass with the might of a Gladiator.
MrLuva757 : ugh yes baby
Doug Stanhope : Your ass-flesh splits open, blood leaking from you, raw flesh exposed to the night air.
MrLuva757 : i love it
Doug Stanhope : Your ass is still pryed open with the bamboo tip.
Doug Stanhope : As i begin to lube up my own cock for the procedure, your shirtless homo friend appears with an erection himself.
Doug Stanhope : We flip a coin, he gets mouth, I get ass.
Doug Stanhope : We begin to tool you as you gag and cry Mother Mary.
MrLuva757 : aiight this is wack now
Doug Stanhope : But, alas, it is you who will be the *Mary* tonite!
MrLuva757 : im not a fag
Doug Stanhope : Oh, ok. My bad.
Doug Stanhope : Then lets say you friend just sits down beside you to wait for a bus.
MrLuva757 : i want u to suck my big dick right now
Doug Stanhope : I stroke your manhood with my little 14 yr old girl fingers, tickling your torn-open bag and pushing the testicle back inside.
Doug Stanhope : Your shirtless homo friend waits patiently beside you, smoking a cigarette which he occasionally ashes in your gaping colon.
Doug Stanhope : Finally his bus comes.
Doug Stanhope : When the doors spring open, the bus, loaded with AIDS patients, unloads and begins raping you like you were a free happy-hour buffet.
Doug Stanhope : You squeal in ecstasy as your ass drinks up death-cum like a cactus.
Doug Stanhope : (I need some feedback so I can come too, you know)

 

[NY Muscle]

lol precious

 

[MaGilicuti]

i don't think aol would allow the word cock in a screen name

 

[p0ink]

aol doesn't, but aim does

 

[p0ink]

Sick- but soo damn funny!!

gracias for the karma

 

[p0ink]

Poink I will hook you up the next time I reload.. this was the funniest stuff I have read in a long, long time..

when i first read these, i had just eaten, and i seriously almost fucking puked i was laughing so hard

 

[Taps]

...can't...stop...laughing...

 

[siceone]

hillarious shit bro

 

[ATrollFromTheFatBoard]

speechless ...

For cryin' out loud, p0ink.

So, your hobbies are weightlifting and ... this ... ?

 

[p0ink]

troll, what the hell are you talking about? someone sent me this site and i copy and pasted some of the logs that were funny? whats wrong with that?

 

[p0ink]

NinjaTenchu77885: Hi
Doug Stanhope : How Old are you?
NinjaTenchu77885 : 19
Doug Stanhope : Cool!
Doug Stanhope : Kids don't know how to cyber.
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
NinjaTenchu77885 : so... u wanna play first(its my trademark)
Doug Stanhope : Sure!
Doug Stanhope : Whats your kink?
NinjaTenchu77885 : whatcha wanna play?
NinjaTenchu77885 : strip Poker
Doug Stanhope : k
NinjaTenchu77885 : *draws hand
NinjaTenchu77885 : k what u got?
NinjaTenchu77885 : i got high card
NinjaTenchu77885 : jack
Doug Stanhope : I have two pair, Aces and threes.
NinjaTenchu77885 : damn
NinjaTenchu77885 : i guess my pants are leavin town
NinjaTenchu77885 : OOPs no boxers oh well
Doug Stanhope : Ok, deal em up.
NinjaTenchu77885 : alright
NinjaTenchu77885 : *havds out cards
NinjaTenchu77885 : hands^
NinjaTenchu77885 : DAMMIT
NinjaTenchu77885 : i bet the rest of my clothes
Doug Stanhope : I have two dueces, a birthday card, the card from some plumbing company in Miami, and a joker.
NinjaTenchu77885 : damn
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok im buck naked u win
Doug Stanhope : One more hand on house credit?
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok...i i lose...sex...if i win...sex...however u like
Doug Stanhope : K
Doug Stanhope : I deal
Doug Stanhope : *shuffles*
NinjaTenchu77885 : alrighht
Doug Stanhope : What do you have?
NinjaTenchu77885 : royal flush
Doug Stanhope : What suit?
NinjaTenchu77885 : hearts
Doug Stanhope : Ooooh. Tsk Tsk.
NinjaTenchu77885 : aww damn
Doug Stanhope : See, I also have a royal flush, only mine is in diamonds.
Doug Stanhope : Do you know the rule here?
NinjaTenchu77885 : no?
Doug Stanhope : Alphabetical order.
NinjaTenchu77885 : dimonds rule
Doug Stanhope : Clubs beat diamonds beat hearts beat spades.
Doug Stanhope : You owe the house.
NinjaTenchu77885 : allright
NinjaTenchu77885 : well u see im butt naked
Doug Stanhope : *A large Buster Douglas type walks into the room and crack his knuckles.* Looks like someone got in over his head!
NinjaTenchu77885 : oh shit
Doug Stanhope : He palms the back of your head, which at this point is shaking uncontrollably.
NinjaTenchu77885 : IT CAN BE A THREESOME I DUN CARE
Doug Stanhope : Shut your mouth, fool!
Doug Stanhope : I make the rules here!
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
Doug Stanhope : Buster sets you down and unzips his fly.
Doug Stanhope : !3 and a quarter inches of unwashed jungle cock flops out into your face.
Doug Stanhope : 13*
NinjaTenchu77885 : eww
Doug Stanhope : You try to look away but the stink makes you wince.
NinjaTenchu77885 : *coughs
Doug Stanhope : I laugh and take off my bra.
Doug Stanhope : My tits flop out like gym socks full of vomit.
NinjaTenchu77885 : so umm why is this other guy here
Doug Stanhope : "Never make bets you can't afford to lose" I say as I take down my skirt.
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
Doug Stanhope : "Shut your pussy white-boy mouth!" say Buster, and you make a little wet in the chair.
NinjaTenchu77885 : i dun have to give him head do i?
Doug Stanhope : You may. It's all gonna depend on you.
NinjaTenchu77885 : no thanks
Doug Stanhope : We're gonna do a little gambling.
NinjaTenchu77885 : uh huh
Doug Stanhope : I put my beautiful pussy inches from your face.
NinjaTenchu77885 : I try to lick
Doug Stanhope : Buster smashes you across the mouth with his giant Negroid hand!
Doug Stanhope : You wait, muthafucker!
NinjaTenchu77885 : OW dammit that hurt
NinjaTenchu77885 : piss off
Doug Stanhope : Now, My pussy is there on the poker table - right next to the greasy, uncut, unwashed black cock.
Doug Stanhope : You can put it all on red or black on the roullette wheel.
Doug Stanhope : If you win, I am your slave.
Doug Stanhope : Lose, Buster has his way with you.
NinjaTenchu77885 : and buster cant doa thing about it?
Doug Stanhope : Right.
NinjaTenchu77885 : if i win?
NinjaTenchu77885 : ok
NinjaTenchu77885 : red
Doug Stanhope : Are you nervous?
NinjaTenchu77885 : what the fuck do you think?
Doug Stanhope : Buster is one angry, stinky, big-dicked motherfucker.
NinjaTenchu77885 : exactly
Doug Stanhope : Here we go! *spins the wheel, rolls the ball*
NinjaTenchu77885 : RED RED
Doug Stanhope : It pops into 17, then to 36 and back into 17!
NinjaTenchu77885 : is that red?
Doug Stanhope : Know what that means?
NinjaTenchu77885 : huh?
Doug Stanhope : Sorry, my friend. Thanks for playing at the Moulin Rouge.
NinjaTenchu77885 : bye!
Doug Stanhope : Buster picks you up by the back of your neck.
Doug Stanhope : You shout but it falls on deaf ears.
Doug Stanhope : Your ass cheeks are pryed apart and greasy cock is plowed into you.

 

[ATrollFromTheFatBoard]

I was beginning to think this was a major pastime or something.

 

[p0ink]

the image of the big black guy from pulp fiction pops into my head.

 

[p0ink]

Joshy10: hey
PorkPipeAnnie: Yes?
Joshy10: im 23 m ny
PorkPipeAnnie: Great! I love NY.
Joshy10: kool
Joshy10: i horny
Joshy10: *im
PorkPipeAnnie: Poor bastard. Want some help jacking off?
Joshy10: ya
Joshy10: will you?
PorkPipeAnnie: Sure, what do you like/
Joshy10: im 5'10'', brown hair, brown eyes
Joshy10: tan
PorkPipeAnnie: No, what are you into?
Joshy10: i like sex
PorkPipeAnnie: Say I was a hooker and you were going to kill me afterwards anyway. What would you do to me first?
Joshy10: i would get head
PorkPipeAnnie: Thats all?
PorkPipeAnnie: Just head?
PorkPipeAnnie: Would you cut it off first?
Joshy10: you do something
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok, so I am a hooker and you want head.
Joshy10: i'd want you to do stuff to me
Joshy10: anything
PorkPipeAnnie: You bring me to a hourly-rate crack hotel.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take out a Poulan Chainsaw X-T 950.
PorkPipeAnnie: The whine of the motor terrifies me.
PorkPipeAnnie: Without so much as a crack in your expression, you saw off my head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Now you take my bloody skull, pull open the mouth and drop it onto your rock hard cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: It falls top-heavy and your big dick pokes out the neck like a turd sneaking out of an asshole
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
PorkPipeAnnie: Hello?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: not yet
PorkPipeAnnie: Ok.
PorkPipeAnnie: My corpse lies on the floor with blood cascading from the neck.
PorkPipeAnnie: You do another bump of meth and try to tug some life into your syphlittic twisted cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: Cop car sirens wail in the night and give you the fear.
PorkPipeAnnie: But they aren't coming for you. Not yet.
PorkPipeAnnie: You spread the ass cheeks of my cooling corpse and find that I voided my colon when I was killed.
PorkPipeAnnie: You stick two fingers into the waste and hold it under your nose.
PorkPipeAnnie: You know that smell. That is the smell of Power.
PorkPipeAnnie: It makes your cock swell like a thumb caught in a car door.
PorkPipeAnnie: Did you come yet?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: almost
PorkPipeAnnie: You remeber that I am a heroin mule and have recently come back from a trip to Bolivia. On a hunch you jam your entire hand to the elbow in my ass.
PorkPipeAnnie: You can feel the skin and flesh tear.
PorkPipeAnnie: You feel a baggie way up in my colon and no you've struck paydirt.
PorkPipeAnnie: You remove it and your whole arm is dripping blood and feces.
PorkPipeAnnie: You lick it clean like a wounded animal.
PorkPipeAnnie: There's a knock at the door.
PorkPipeAnnie: *Knock - Knock*
PorkPipeAnnie: I said Knock - Knock!
Joshy10: who's there?
PorkPipeAnnie: "It's Thaddeus, Kareena's pimp. Where's my mutherfuckin ho at?"
Joshy10: not here
PorkPipeAnnie: You look through the keyhole and start to panic.
PorkPipeAnnie: Its the biggest angriest black man you have ever layed eyes on.
PorkPipeAnnie: He kicks in the door before you have a chance to slide the deadbolt.
PorkPipeAnnie: There you are with his prize whore's head impaled on your cock and his bag of Horse in your hand.
PorkPipeAnnie: "Mutherfucker, You killed my best ho"
PorkPipeAnnie: You are speechless.
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that there is a high paying client waiting to fuck that ho, who you have no ruined.
PorkPipeAnnie: They only way he will let you live is if you dress up like a girl and let this guy fuck you.
Joshy10: eeeeewwwwwww.....
Joshy10: n
Joshy10: NO
PorkPipeAnnie: You jump at the chance.
PorkPipeAnnie: Wait a minute.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: im not getting fucked
PorkPipeAnnie: A minute ago I had you licking blood and feces of the fist you just pulled out of a headless, dead hookers ass... but NOW I went too far?
Joshy10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, My bad.
PorkPipeAnnie: So any way..
PorkPipeAnnie: Here you are covered in the shit and innards of a dead crack whore, fresh from fucking her in her decapitated head.
PorkPipeAnnie: Her pipm is now standing in front of your naked body and he's pissed off.
PorkPipeAnnie: pimp*
PorkPipeAnnie: He grabs the back of your head like a basketball and pushes it down on his dirty, uncut, stinkin black cock.
PorkPipeAnnie: You take it in your mouth and try not to vomit.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: sick
PorkPipeAnnie: He tells you that in order for him to come, you have to lick his ass.
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: fuck you
PorkPipeAnnie: What are you, a racist?
Joshy10: no
Joshy10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: I didn't say you LIKED it, did I?
Joshy10: no
PorkPipeAnnie: Do you kill hookers with chainsaws?
PorkPipeAnnie: No, you don't. But did you get all pissed off when I put it in the fantasy?

 

[p0ink]

the majority of these logs are done by Doug Stanhope the comedian. the guy is fucking hysterical

 

[p0ink]

i post these out of a labor of love people.

 

[p0ink]

you people should read these as bed time stories to your kids.

 

[davidg]

this stuff was halarious

 

[NY Muscle]

I need to get out my files and show you the shit I have…man the fags ands fat chics and wackos we fuck with on AOL at night…. Sick bunch of wackos out there..

 

[BigBazooka]

PorkPipeAnnie: A minute ago I had you licking blood and feces of the fist you just pulled out of a headless, dead hookers ass... but NOW I went too far?
Joshy10: im not gay
PorkPipeAnnie: Oh, My bad.
PorkPipeAnnie: So any way..

 

[p0ink]

.

 

[rushx79]

LMFAO!

now i know what to do next time im bored.

 

[p0ink]

oh yeah, some of these were done by doug stanhope, who will be the new host of the man show.

 

[anabolicmd]

p0ink pure comedy bro!!! you are just like me and my boys...on aol we go into chat rooms and get im's by homos all the time and we pretend we are gay and play a game we call "pass the fag" 1/2 way through the conversation ill say, hey man ill BRB, im me under my other name...the other name is my buddys..then he does the same until about 4 of us have toyed with this guy then we compile the whole convo...its fucking a work of art..


we do that in the shemale and tranny rooms too lol

You and your friends play games where you pretend to be gay?

 

[gonelifting]

bump for poink.

 

[theoak01]

best thread ever