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Longhorn85
New member
Some of these are specific to the military, but I think most of them can apply in any walk of life:
NEW DOCTRINAL TERMS
New terms are developed everyday in the services. These new terms put things in their proper perspective. Most are eloquent and protect you in today's PC environment. Some are more apropro than others. Here are a few that are relevant in today's services....
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and promotability by kissing up to the commander. This process can be observed first-hand whenever senior field grade officers are near general officers.
ASS-CLOWN: A leader who demonstrates comedy to effectively wow the seniors to believe he actually has operational knowledge of the task at hand. In actuality, he has no clue and truly doesn't understand the training criteria.
DICK DANCE: When two guys named Richard want to dance and never get it done because both of them want to lead.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around the headquarters discussing why a suspense was missed or a mission failed and who was responsible. Typical activity among general staffs...
SEAGULL COLONEL: A colonel who swoops in, makes a lot of noise, and shits all over everything.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CRM - Career Restricting Move: Used among officers to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing core values or discussing civilian sector employment/pay scales while your commander is within earshot is serious CRM.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the battalion/wing level. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are generally profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe officers/NCOs who are suspected of planning to retire or separate from the service soon. Alternatively, any O-6 or above that gets behind the controls of an airplane.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking the boss . . . he's 404, man."
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time after hitting the "enter" key in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
AVIATION CONTINUATION PAY: The $16,308 a month paycheck you'll earn when you get out and continue to fly until you're a senior captain at United Airlines.
DECONFLICT: A polite term generally used the following way in briefings, "Yes sir, we need to deconflict that land piece for the occupation of the assembly areas." This actually means, "No sir, I did not think about the problem enough to realize that I couldn't fit the entire brigade into one square kilometer. Let me go unf*ck myself."
SHOOT: A term that used to stand for the act of engaging another human being with some form of dangerous projectile. Now most commonly used to refer to the act of sending an e-mail to another staff officer. How it sounds, "Hey, I'll shoot that piece out to you on e-mail tomorrow." What it really means, "Hey, my life is so pathetic, and so far from warfighting, that I am going to spend tomorrow in front of an electronic display. While doing so, I will alternate my thoughts between convincing myself that I am doing something useful with daydreams about commanding an intergalactic starship that I control through my keyboard."
RESOLUTION: Easily defined- this is a popular phrase because it sounds much better than its literal definition. To translate, just substitute the words "a f*cking clue" whenever you hear an officer speak of 'resolution.' Example: "No sir, we don't yet have resolution on how we are going to execute the deployment sequence." This equals: "No sir, we don't yet have a f*cking clue about how we are going to execute the deployment sequence."
WORK: Formerly a verb, used to refer to action and activity directed toward a specific goal or purpose, although in recent times the meaning of this term has degraded significantly. One will often hear this term in briefings (as with all excessive verbiage) in the context of "Yes sir, we need to work the logistics side of the exercise." What this really means, "Sir, I will execute at least one IPR and send out a minimum of 10 e-mail messages in order to cover my ass should this stupid issue that you brought up ever rear its ugly head again."
OFFLINE: Yet one more term regularly heard in briefings. This term is used to convey a polite attitude towards another staff officer in order to spare everyone else in the meeting from having to endure staff-to-staff coordination. Usually when a briefer says, "That's a good point, let's talk about it offline," he is really saying, "Listen dickhead, you try to sharpshoot me in a meeting one more time I'm going to hit you so hard that I kill all your relatives."
HOP AND POP: Means to move about excitedly with no real purpose or direction. Used in one of two ways, 1) when being entirely overwhelmed by the enemy and the unit has lost all discipline and control. At this point individuals are expected to 'hop and pop' in an effort to keep themselves alive at the expense of all else. High rates of fratricide are the norm with this type of operation. 2) When senior officers show up on-site unexpectedly. Units are normally conducting 'TOC OPs' in this situation and the only recourse is for all parties to move about with stern looks and weapons/briefing slides at the ready in an attempt to make the visitor believe that something important is actually going on.
POUND THE SHIT OUT OF: (updated) One of several terms that vaguely refers to fighting the enemy. It is generally used in pep talks prior to the beginning of a battle. When used, a sure indicator that your unit is about to lose.
BUTTLOAD: (updated) A large quantity. A lot. Used to refer to the number of vehicles in a recon cluster. Also refers to how much artillery is necessary to disable an enemy force.
KITCHEN SINK: More artillery support than you will ever see.
POLICE-UP: An infantry operation to defeat the remaining enemy on an objective after Armor forces by-pass or attempt to avoid confrontation.
THE HAMMER: A cool operational term to impress a superior when describing the main effort.
BACK-STOP: A term used to cover a staff failure to properly wargame a course of action. Also a term used by infantry showing how "hope" is a method incorporated to defeat the enemy. "If the enemy gets through the engagement area, we have Delta Company placed here to back-stop the Battalion defense.
PAINT THE PICTURE: A term used to gather information and assess the situation. Usually asked by senior leaders to junior leaders. Usually invoked after the senior leader has gotten sleep and knows absolutely nothing of the tactical situation, while the battle captain has been up all night.
CRITICAL TERRAIN: Terrain that if not secured, grabbed, taken or camped out on - you are screwed. A new category to describe terrain in FM 34-130 (Critical - Decisive - Key). KICK-OUT: An armor technique used to employ light infantry to clear severely restricted terrain in order to allow the armor to pass.
SELFCON: This is when a junior commander (usually a captain) comes to the realization that his higher is completely clueless (perhaps even befuckled) so he simply attaches himself and his command to another unit.
CHEETAH-FLIPS: The course of action development phase of the Military Decision Making Process (MDMP) in an imagined crisis environment (often replicated by headquarters during daily operations).
TAKE-DOWN: An aggressive former wrestling term used to describe your actions on the objective an inherent lack of regard for the enemy's capabilities.
MOP-UP: A term for the actions occurring just after you discover you are actually on the objective, in the enemy's fire sack, that implies a willingness to expose oneself to lethal fires.
HIT: Term for applying massed effects against the enemy. As in "First, we'll hit these guys over here. Then, we'll hit these guys and then the guys over here will be hit with asymmetrical dominance from assets from EAC.
BELLS AND WHISTLES: An inordinate amount of cheese, not required to get necessary information communicated to another individual or group of individuals. Commonly associated with Canine and Equestrian Theater.
DRIVE BY: Engaging the enemy while bypassing. Meets both the destruction and bypass criteria given in the OPORD. May also refer to when a certain general officer (initials R.H.) stops by your unit or motorpool.
NEW DOCTRINAL TERMS
New terms are developed everyday in the services. These new terms put things in their proper perspective. Most are eloquent and protect you in today's PC environment. Some are more apropro than others. Here are a few that are relevant in today's services....
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and promotability by kissing up to the commander. This process can be observed first-hand whenever senior field grade officers are near general officers.
ASS-CLOWN: A leader who demonstrates comedy to effectively wow the seniors to believe he actually has operational knowledge of the task at hand. In actuality, he has no clue and truly doesn't understand the training criteria.
DICK DANCE: When two guys named Richard want to dance and never get it done because both of them want to lead.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around the headquarters discussing why a suspense was missed or a mission failed and who was responsible. Typical activity among general staffs...
SEAGULL COLONEL: A colonel who swoops in, makes a lot of noise, and shits all over everything.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CRM - Career Restricting Move: Used among officers to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing core values or discussing civilian sector employment/pay scales while your commander is within earshot is serious CRM.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the battalion/wing level. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are generally profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe officers/NCOs who are suspected of planning to retire or separate from the service soon. Alternatively, any O-6 or above that gets behind the controls of an airplane.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking the boss . . . he's 404, man."
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time after hitting the "enter" key in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
AVIATION CONTINUATION PAY: The $16,308 a month paycheck you'll earn when you get out and continue to fly until you're a senior captain at United Airlines.
DECONFLICT: A polite term generally used the following way in briefings, "Yes sir, we need to deconflict that land piece for the occupation of the assembly areas." This actually means, "No sir, I did not think about the problem enough to realize that I couldn't fit the entire brigade into one square kilometer. Let me go unf*ck myself."
SHOOT: A term that used to stand for the act of engaging another human being with some form of dangerous projectile. Now most commonly used to refer to the act of sending an e-mail to another staff officer. How it sounds, "Hey, I'll shoot that piece out to you on e-mail tomorrow." What it really means, "Hey, my life is so pathetic, and so far from warfighting, that I am going to spend tomorrow in front of an electronic display. While doing so, I will alternate my thoughts between convincing myself that I am doing something useful with daydreams about commanding an intergalactic starship that I control through my keyboard."
RESOLUTION: Easily defined- this is a popular phrase because it sounds much better than its literal definition. To translate, just substitute the words "a f*cking clue" whenever you hear an officer speak of 'resolution.' Example: "No sir, we don't yet have resolution on how we are going to execute the deployment sequence." This equals: "No sir, we don't yet have a f*cking clue about how we are going to execute the deployment sequence."
WORK: Formerly a verb, used to refer to action and activity directed toward a specific goal or purpose, although in recent times the meaning of this term has degraded significantly. One will often hear this term in briefings (as with all excessive verbiage) in the context of "Yes sir, we need to work the logistics side of the exercise." What this really means, "Sir, I will execute at least one IPR and send out a minimum of 10 e-mail messages in order to cover my ass should this stupid issue that you brought up ever rear its ugly head again."
OFFLINE: Yet one more term regularly heard in briefings. This term is used to convey a polite attitude towards another staff officer in order to spare everyone else in the meeting from having to endure staff-to-staff coordination. Usually when a briefer says, "That's a good point, let's talk about it offline," he is really saying, "Listen dickhead, you try to sharpshoot me in a meeting one more time I'm going to hit you so hard that I kill all your relatives."
HOP AND POP: Means to move about excitedly with no real purpose or direction. Used in one of two ways, 1) when being entirely overwhelmed by the enemy and the unit has lost all discipline and control. At this point individuals are expected to 'hop and pop' in an effort to keep themselves alive at the expense of all else. High rates of fratricide are the norm with this type of operation. 2) When senior officers show up on-site unexpectedly. Units are normally conducting 'TOC OPs' in this situation and the only recourse is for all parties to move about with stern looks and weapons/briefing slides at the ready in an attempt to make the visitor believe that something important is actually going on.
POUND THE SHIT OUT OF: (updated) One of several terms that vaguely refers to fighting the enemy. It is generally used in pep talks prior to the beginning of a battle. When used, a sure indicator that your unit is about to lose.
BUTTLOAD: (updated) A large quantity. A lot. Used to refer to the number of vehicles in a recon cluster. Also refers to how much artillery is necessary to disable an enemy force.
KITCHEN SINK: More artillery support than you will ever see.
POLICE-UP: An infantry operation to defeat the remaining enemy on an objective after Armor forces by-pass or attempt to avoid confrontation.
THE HAMMER: A cool operational term to impress a superior when describing the main effort.
BACK-STOP: A term used to cover a staff failure to properly wargame a course of action. Also a term used by infantry showing how "hope" is a method incorporated to defeat the enemy. "If the enemy gets through the engagement area, we have Delta Company placed here to back-stop the Battalion defense.
PAINT THE PICTURE: A term used to gather information and assess the situation. Usually asked by senior leaders to junior leaders. Usually invoked after the senior leader has gotten sleep and knows absolutely nothing of the tactical situation, while the battle captain has been up all night.
CRITICAL TERRAIN: Terrain that if not secured, grabbed, taken or camped out on - you are screwed. A new category to describe terrain in FM 34-130 (Critical - Decisive - Key). KICK-OUT: An armor technique used to employ light infantry to clear severely restricted terrain in order to allow the armor to pass.
SELFCON: This is when a junior commander (usually a captain) comes to the realization that his higher is completely clueless (perhaps even befuckled) so he simply attaches himself and his command to another unit.
CHEETAH-FLIPS: The course of action development phase of the Military Decision Making Process (MDMP) in an imagined crisis environment (often replicated by headquarters during daily operations).
TAKE-DOWN: An aggressive former wrestling term used to describe your actions on the objective an inherent lack of regard for the enemy's capabilities.
MOP-UP: A term for the actions occurring just after you discover you are actually on the objective, in the enemy's fire sack, that implies a willingness to expose oneself to lethal fires.
HIT: Term for applying massed effects against the enemy. As in "First, we'll hit these guys over here. Then, we'll hit these guys and then the guys over here will be hit with asymmetrical dominance from assets from EAC.
BELLS AND WHISTLES: An inordinate amount of cheese, not required to get necessary information communicated to another individual or group of individuals. Commonly associated with Canine and Equestrian Theater.
DRIVE BY: Engaging the enemy while bypassing. Meets both the destruction and bypass criteria given in the OPORD. May also refer to when a certain general officer (initials R.H.) stops by your unit or motorpool.
