Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Hey Ladies, I haven't really posted before, but i really could use some help. Last summer i finally realized that the previous 2 years i had put on about 80-90 extra pounds (very low point in my life 5'7" 230lbs) and i decided to change, well since then i have lost about 40 lbs. well here is where i need the help, i met my bf last summer when i was my biggest, and he is really into bodybuilding and such, and although he hated my body i know, he helped me get my diet going and get most of those pounds off. Well since Christmas i have been slacking i admit, but its because i see the results, and have fallen off the wagon and am not doing right again i guess i was proud of myself and let me get lazy again. Recently my bf has been calling me out on it, asking me when i was going to go back on my diet and get in the gym regular agian. I really want to lose the rest of the weight, but have really lost the motivation to get it going (which makes me soo mad with myself). Well the other day out of the blue he flipped on me and said that my overweight deal is very undesirable and told me that i am fat,lazy and insecure, and thats no way to go through life. I guess it just sucks because at first he was doing it to help me i thought, but now i think its more for himself, and honestly thats killing my motivation to get it off even more! right now i am 181lbs. and would like to be 140-145lbs. (i hold my weight well, and 140 is thin for me). Any advice you can give me to kickstart my goals again would really help (it would be nice to have encouragement once in a while, you cant imagine how it feels to hear that you are undesirable from someone you love.)
Ladies..help with motivation/bf
- Thread starter lacilayne
- Start date
Well, *I've* never been motivated by coaches that rag on me!
Motivation must come from within. Figure out YOUR why - do you want to look good on the beach? Do you want to be able to ride a horse/rollerblade/roll a kayak/rock climb/run the legs off nasty BF (oops . . attitude showing
) or ________? Then, when you know why, sit down and visualize it. What does your goal look like, sound like, smell like, taste like, feel like? Can you see it in technicolor? Can you cut it out of a magazine and paste it on your fridge or your computer monitor or your bathroom mirror (or all three)?
Once you have that done, THEN use your diet & exercise knowledge to map out how to get to your Bahamas. Oh, and tell your man to BUTT OUT. At this stage, this is your fight, not his, and his input in anything other than strictly advisory (information, not nagging) is VERBOTEN, as well as extremely counterproductive.
Motivation must come from within. Figure out YOUR why - do you want to look good on the beach? Do you want to be able to ride a horse/rollerblade/roll a kayak/rock climb/run the legs off nasty BF (oops . . attitude showing
) or ________? Then, when you know why, sit down and visualize it. What does your goal look like, sound like, smell like, taste like, feel like? Can you see it in technicolor? Can you cut it out of a magazine and paste it on your fridge or your computer monitor or your bathroom mirror (or all three)?Once you have that done, THEN use your diet & exercise knowledge to map out how to get to your Bahamas. Oh, and tell your man to BUTT OUT. At this stage, this is your fight, not his, and his input in anything other than strictly advisory (information, not nagging) is VERBOTEN, as well as extremely counterproductive.
Sassy69
New member
Well congrats on the majority of the weight loss -- and yes it does suck to hear that from a loved one, however if his life is fitness -- trust me- this is SPECIFCALLY why I chose to not turn my passion for training & fitness into a trainer career -- I simply didn't want to count reps for lazy people and listen to them whine about food and then how fat they are.
That was a raw generalization, but essentially I didnt' want to turn somethign I love into "work". I took the same attitude about scuba diving - I'm a certified dive master & used to work several scuba charters in S. FL so I could dive for free on the off times. If I pursued my instructor license & worked - aside from the 7 yr liability you now have for your students, I would probably really start hating diving.
So possibly that's where he's coming from -- just frustrated with waiting for you to get back into "the zone".
But like wlmcrae says -- you have to find "it" for yourself. We usually just dig our heels in more if someone starts getting on our case about it. If you understand how you 'fell off the wagon" --- God knows we all do it and it just gets old ... but if your 'normal' (non-dieting) lifestyle makes you gain a bunch of weight back? (Maybe I'm not reading clearly to understand how much was the "cost of lazy" ...?)
Anyway -- I've generally found it helps alot to just suck it up & go hit the gym. Once I'm there, its awesome. The food issue --- maybe time for a new program? I tend to focus a lot more if I have something laid out that I can follow.
I'll suggest (Shadow, you're so popular...!) The Shadow Project sticky at the top of the board. Lots of girls have successfullly followed it - the diet & the training change on a daily basis so its not boring.... Its a thought.
Keep posting up and join us gymrats over here and I'm sure you'll find it when you least expect it!
That was a raw generalization, but essentially I didnt' want to turn somethign I love into "work". I took the same attitude about scuba diving - I'm a certified dive master & used to work several scuba charters in S. FL so I could dive for free on the off times. If I pursued my instructor license & worked - aside from the 7 yr liability you now have for your students, I would probably really start hating diving.
So possibly that's where he's coming from -- just frustrated with waiting for you to get back into "the zone".
But like wlmcrae says -- you have to find "it" for yourself. We usually just dig our heels in more if someone starts getting on our case about it. If you understand how you 'fell off the wagon" --- God knows we all do it and it just gets old ... but if your 'normal' (non-dieting) lifestyle makes you gain a bunch of weight back? (Maybe I'm not reading clearly to understand how much was the "cost of lazy" ...?)
Anyway -- I've generally found it helps alot to just suck it up & go hit the gym. Once I'm there, its awesome. The food issue --- maybe time for a new program? I tend to focus a lot more if I have something laid out that I can follow.
I'll suggest (Shadow, you're so popular...!) The Shadow Project sticky at the top of the board. Lots of girls have successfullly followed it - the diet & the training change on a daily basis so its not boring.... Its a thought.
Keep posting up and join us gymrats over here and I'm sure you'll find it when you least expect it!
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