Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
thefantom1
New member
By going undercover I was able to come up with some very interesting facts on our friend MP5... Let me warn any of you amatuer sleuths out there.......DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! I risked my life getting this information and I am a trained, experienced professional..
To start my investigation... I decided to pay a visit to MP5's parents house..and let me tell you...this almost put me out of the game trying to find this place.... This doesn't look too bad...as you can see here..
But needless to say the alligators that keep chasing me were quite annoying..... I am finally able to scare off the gators and make my way to the front door. I could hear nothing inside... So I gave a polite knock on the door and before I could put my hand down to my side I was greeted by MP5's parents..
After crapping my pants..I explained to them that I was one of MP5's friends (to which they laughed and said "He ain't go no friends") and then I had to come clean and explain to them I was looking for information on why MP5 is the way he is....
They invited me in (at gunpoint...I guess that is an invite) and let me have a seat on an empty beer keg..
They quickly began to like me as I broke out a bottle of moonshine (Thanks to Satanic Goatslayer for telling me to bring it) I then asked them how MP5 became so interested in hunting "Big Game" as he calls it... His family showed me this picture without explanation...
I could now begin to see where MP5 got the fantasy that he was some big game hunter.... it started with his killing of Barney..It seemed as he approached his teen years that the delusions got worse..Here is a picture of MP5 holding a "Polar Bear..that he used only a knife to kill" (on a side note... I wonder if this is Blaster and if MP5 had anything to do with Blasters demise....maybe BigTruck is innocent)
Now on to my second bottle of moonshine with "Ma and Pa" as I called them...they began to tell me how little MP5 always claimed he was the best deer hunter in California. When I told them that they don't live in California "Ma" lauged so hard her false tooth shot out of her mouth and hit me in the forehead....Pa did not find humor in the California thing... I never found out why...
After "Ma" retrieved her tooth..she showed me MP5's prized deer hunting pic.... He claims he knew all along where the deer was...he was just "funnin' "
After being bullied around by the neighbor kids (Cooter and Snake) he decided to take up weighlifting. "Ma" seemed so proud of her little boy that she took this pic of him..3 years after he started lifting weights..
MP5 soon became tired of weightlifting but didnt' want his mom to know that he quit.. (the weights were just too heavy..as you can see in the above pic) but he did continue to grow
MP5 would occasionaly come back with a good hunt....some pheasants or ducks and such...when I asked about his suddenly found "hunting skills" "Ma" almost lost her tooth again... She then pulled out this pic of MP5's dog (Beaner)..I think I know who had the hunting skills..
Now that he was getting older..it was time for MP5 to find a job...living off the land was not doing it (he quickly lost all his fat from his "powerlifting" days..) he looked far and wide for a job that he was qualified to perform to the best of his ability and thought he had found the perfect job for a stud like himself..
He was fired the first day for stopping at an old folks home and asking if anyone had any old, dirty beavers that needed cleaning.... Gotta give him an "A" for effort..
I found it funny that during this whole conversation.."Pa" didn't say much....just keep drinking moonshine and staring at me...very strange...
I asked them were MP5 was currently working and "Ma" got a gleam in her eye (they other one had a patch over it) She told me how proud she was that he has a respectable job and makes good money..... How he looks so good in his uniform.... At this time "Pa" cracked a strange grin....and looked off into space... Anyway I asked "Ma" for a picture of MP5 at work..and this is what I got
I was rather shocked by this picture... I had seen it before on elite but always thought it was a clever fake...obviously we were all wrong....the pic is real as you can all see for yourself.....
I was just starting feel at home here at MP5's house (2 bottles of moonshine will do that to ya) when "Ma" went to make some "vittles"..she grabbed an axe and walked out the back door...now it was just me and "Pa" who didn't say anything sitting there...... "You sure do got a purrtty mouth, boy" was all I heard as soon as "Ma" was outta the room. Needless to say I was out the door...over the swamp (stepped right on an alligators head) and back on my way home before I could even comprehend what was said....
So this is all the info that I have on MP5.. I think his childhood explains quite a bit about how he is here on Elite...MP5........ Big Game Hunter..................
To start my investigation... I decided to pay a visit to MP5's parents house..and let me tell you...this almost put me out of the game trying to find this place.... This doesn't look too bad...as you can see here..
But needless to say the alligators that keep chasing me were quite annoying..... I am finally able to scare off the gators and make my way to the front door. I could hear nothing inside... So I gave a polite knock on the door and before I could put my hand down to my side I was greeted by MP5's parents..
After crapping my pants..I explained to them that I was one of MP5's friends (to which they laughed and said "He ain't go no friends") and then I had to come clean and explain to them I was looking for information on why MP5 is the way he is....
They invited me in (at gunpoint...I guess that is an invite) and let me have a seat on an empty beer keg..
They quickly began to like me as I broke out a bottle of moonshine (Thanks to Satanic Goatslayer for telling me to bring it) I then asked them how MP5 became so interested in hunting "Big Game" as he calls it... His family showed me this picture without explanation...
I could now begin to see where MP5 got the fantasy that he was some big game hunter.... it started with his killing of Barney..It seemed as he approached his teen years that the delusions got worse..Here is a picture of MP5 holding a "Polar Bear..that he used only a knife to kill" (on a side note... I wonder if this is Blaster and if MP5 had anything to do with Blasters demise....maybe BigTruck is innocent)
Now on to my second bottle of moonshine with "Ma and Pa" as I called them...they began to tell me how little MP5 always claimed he was the best deer hunter in California. When I told them that they don't live in California "Ma" lauged so hard her false tooth shot out of her mouth and hit me in the forehead....Pa did not find humor in the California thing... I never found out why...
After "Ma" retrieved her tooth..she showed me MP5's prized deer hunting pic.... He claims he knew all along where the deer was...he was just "funnin' "
After being bullied around by the neighbor kids (Cooter and Snake) he decided to take up weighlifting. "Ma" seemed so proud of her little boy that she took this pic of him..3 years after he started lifting weights..
MP5 soon became tired of weightlifting but didnt' want his mom to know that he quit.. (the weights were just too heavy..as you can see in the above pic) but he did continue to grow
MP5 would occasionaly come back with a good hunt....some pheasants or ducks and such...when I asked about his suddenly found "hunting skills" "Ma" almost lost her tooth again... She then pulled out this pic of MP5's dog (Beaner)..I think I know who had the hunting skills..
Now that he was getting older..it was time for MP5 to find a job...living off the land was not doing it (he quickly lost all his fat from his "powerlifting" days..) he looked far and wide for a job that he was qualified to perform to the best of his ability and thought he had found the perfect job for a stud like himself..
He was fired the first day for stopping at an old folks home and asking if anyone had any old, dirty beavers that needed cleaning.... Gotta give him an "A" for effort..
I found it funny that during this whole conversation.."Pa" didn't say much....just keep drinking moonshine and staring at me...very strange...
I asked them were MP5 was currently working and "Ma" got a gleam in her eye (they other one had a patch over it) She told me how proud she was that he has a respectable job and makes good money..... How he looks so good in his uniform.... At this time "Pa" cracked a strange grin....and looked off into space... Anyway I asked "Ma" for a picture of MP5 at work..and this is what I got
I was rather shocked by this picture... I had seen it before on elite but always thought it was a clever fake...obviously we were all wrong....the pic is real as you can all see for yourself.....
I was just starting feel at home here at MP5's house (2 bottles of moonshine will do that to ya) when "Ma" went to make some "vittles"..she grabbed an axe and walked out the back door...now it was just me and "Pa" who didn't say anything sitting there...... "You sure do got a purrtty mouth, boy" was all I heard as soon as "Ma" was outta the room. Needless to say I was out the door...over the swamp (stepped right on an alligators head) and back on my way home before I could even comprehend what was said....
So this is all the info that I have on MP5.. I think his childhood explains quite a bit about how he is here on Elite...MP5........ Big Game Hunter..................
Last edited:
