Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is similar to a drug dealer calling the cops when he gets robbed?

[jh1]

PS. Yes, your lawyer agrees whole-heartedly, most likely because he has a fat retainer check with your name signed on the bottom. If your wife's name were on the bottom of that check, he would be telling her what a bastard YOU are...lol.

Truest shit you've spoken yet.

1. As far as things being petty... if they are petty, then there shouldn't be any disagreement from her side iether... right? It's petty?

2. If you see my previous post, you should see I do have my child's best interests in mind.

3. I haven't agreed to any custody arrangement yet. I most certainly will not agree to an arrangement where I am a second class parent.

4. I am going to look more into what determines Custodial / Non-Custodial.

In any case, I want her to be part of this, I want her to be clean. As long as I make more than her I am willing to pay fair amounts of support so there is not an obvious inequity in our ability to provide for our child.

I am curious... If I become 'Custodial' parent - from what I can tell on her proposed parenting plan is nothing more than a designator for who gets paid child support since it is clearly outlined that we get 50/50 physical custody and 50/50 legal rights and custody.

So... if I were to become 'Custodial' with everything else being the same, would it be the 'right' thing for her to pay me the statutory amounts of support? If so... and if that's what the law says... how is that fiar to our child?

 

[heatherrae]

If your wife is a drug addict she should not have any sort of custody until she's clean and has show some sort time frame in being "clean". Besides I don't know too many judges that award custody to drug addicts.

As an observation of a (male) friend who just divorced and now has a special custody/visitation arrangement with his ex for two children under the age of 3 - he's totally fucked - his ex can't get her fat lazy ass out of bed early enough in the AM to pick up the children so he can go to work. He's recent found a new job something with a future for him if he's late three times in one month he's fired, he's not in a position to lose such a great opportunity.

He's spending $600 a week that he can't afford on a babysitter because the mother of his children can't get up before 2pm.

That said, I think situations vary and children aren't always better off having "mommy" or "daddy" around just because the had some involvement in their creation.

Tread wisely.

completely agree.

 

[heatherrae]

Truest shit you've spoken yet.

1. As far as things being petty... if they are petty, then there shouldn't be any disagreement from her side iether... right? It's petty?

2. If you see my previous post, you should see I do have my child's best interests in mind.

3. I haven't agreed to any custody arrangement yet. I most certainly will not agree to an arrangement where I am a second class parent.

4. I am going to look more into what determines Custodial / Non-Custodial.

In any case, I want her to be part of this, I want her to be clean. As long as I make more than her I am willing to pay fair amounts of support so there is not an obvious inequity in our ability to provide for our child.

I am curious... If I become 'Custodial' parent - from what I can tell on her proposed parenting plan is nothing more than a designator for who gets paid child support since it is clearly outlined that we get 50/50 physical custody and 50/50 legal rights and custody.

So... if I were to become 'Custodial' with everything else being the same, would it be the 'right' thing for her to pay me the statutory amounts of support? If so... and if that's what the law says... how is that fiar to our child?

See, now you are getting into questions that are specific to your state, and I can't advise you on that because I only know about Kentucky. Here we designate custodial (lives primarily with this parent) and non-custodial (the other parent, who usually gets the visitation) Joint custody here (called shared parenting in some states) is more of a legal right to make important decisions for the child together, for example where they go to school, medical decisions, etc.

Look, in all honesty, I think you are a nice guy going through a rough spot. Your head is a little cloudy and you are hurting. Just step back sometimes and take a deep breath. If your wife is really a drug addict who is going to squander your child support and neglect your child, you need to man up and get custody of your baby. Period. Yeah, it would cramp your style a bit. Don't think I don't relate. I have those fears myself that I can't just do whatever I please anymore. However if she is going to do drugs while caring for your child, you have far bigger problems than a few hundred dollars in one direction or the other in child support. The baby is number one right now. Now is a time in your life where you can step up and be an unbelievable, out of sight, kick ass dad or you can let yourself be consumed with the minutia. Be kick ass! These are the moments that shape years and years to come.

 

[UA_Iron]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

I'll hit heather with red JH1, just say when, I'll do it for you bor.

 

[jackangel]

best part about it is that heather was never really a lawyer...she just stayed at a holiday inn express one night.

 

[jh1]

best part about it is that heather was never really a lawyer...she just stayed at a holiday inn express one night.

LMAO... I don't doubt it!

 

[heatherrae]

LMAO... I don't doubt it!

Yeah, probably hard for you guys to believe that a woman can do anything. If you doubt my credentials, look them up on the web. They are there for the finding.

 

[jackangel]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

Yeah, probably hard for you guys to believe that a woman can do anything. If you doubt my credentials, look them up on the web. They are there for the finding.

i'll fight you right fucking now.

 

[heatherrae]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

i'll fight you right fucking now.

calm down, Corky.

 

[mrplunkey]

Yeah, probably hard for you guys to believe that a woman can do anything. If you doubt my credentials, look them up on the web. They are there for the finding.

I know I'm piling-on here, but I've dealt with way more lawyers than I cared to over the last 15 years or so. You don't seem very "edgy" for a lawyer, but maybe it's diluted by an online personna.