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How do you maintain a relationship?

L

luxury

New member
I know it may sound like an odd thread topic. I'm just curious how relationships even work. I've never had one for more than a couple of months.

Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time? How does initiating contact with the other person work? Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time? Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy? Should you always sleep over after sex? How many times a week should you be having sex?

I really am clueless when it comes to this stuff. I have no problem picking girls up, but when it comes to making it last I fail every single time. The reason might be that at the beginning I have no feelings for them so I draw them in. But the more time we date I usually start to act differently around them and may appear even clingy.

The last relationship I had ended about a week ago when the girl I was seeing cheated on me... and with an ugly guy to boot. I want to be able to finally know how to act when in a relationship so that I can maintain one.

Thanks in advance for any input.
 
It's not about me wanting a relationship bad, I just want to know how to act once I do get in one so I don't fuck it up again.
 
luxury said:
It's not about me wanting a relationship bad, I just want to know how to act once I do get in one so I don't fuck it up again.
Click to expand...

if you have to 'act' in a relationship what's the point?
 
luxury said:
I know it may sound like an odd thread topic. I'm just curious how relationships even work. I've never had one for more than a couple of months.

Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time? How does initiating contact with the other person work? Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time? Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy? Should you always sleep over after sex? How many times a week should you be having sex?

I really am clueless when it comes to this stuff. I have no problem picking girls up, but when it comes to making it last I fail every single time. The reason might be that at the beginning I have no feelings for them so I draw them in. But the more time we date I usually start to act differently around them and may appear even clingy.

The last relationship I had ended about a week ago when the girl I was seeing cheated on me... and with an ugly guy to boot. I want to be able to finally know how to act when in a relationship so that I can maintain one.

Thanks in advance for any input.
Click to expand...
Hey Steve
 
luxury said:
Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time?
Click to expand...
Holy shit, how old are you? There is no point in a relationship, no matter how serious or how casual, that mind games are required or even appropriate. Get the hell out of junior high.
luxury said:
How does initiating contact with the other person work?
Click to expand...
You pick the phone up, and call. If you get their voice mail or answering machine (yes, some of us still have that) you leave a message, you leave your number, you wait for them to call you back. If they don't contact you within 24 to 48 hours, you are permitted ONE more call, that is a polite message stating when you LAST called, and you were afraid that they missed your message (it happens), anything more than that is a stalker territory. Particularly in the very beginning always make sure they know 1) who is calling (in other words, say "Hi, this is steve smith, we met at so-and-so's and were talking about blah-blah-blah ..." 2) how they can reach you (don't assume they have caller I.D., leave your number and ideally a good time to call when they can get you in person, it's polite, but point out you have voice mail/answering machine, whatever) 3) that you're really looking forward to hearing from them/enjoyed meeting them and then get out. Overly long, rambling telephone messages fall into freak category.
luxury said:
Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time?
Click to expand...
See above. Don't be a pest, don't become a stalker.
luxury said:
Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy?
Click to expand...
Depends on what their curfew is like :rolleyes:
luxury said:
Should you always sleep over after sex?
Click to expand...
This falls into the category of "COMMUNICATION." You ask "Can I spend the night?" or you state up front "I won't be able to spend the night, I have to ..." (and for christ's sake, have a good reason. And if you HAVE to go home, don't hump and run, snuggle for a while, girls like that shit).
luxury said:
How many times a week should you be having sex?
Click to expand...
Shit, I've been married or in a committed relationship more than 23 years total and I still don't know the perfect answer to that question. Do it when you both feel like, don't feel rejected if she's not in the mood, make sure she doesn't feel unattractive if you're not in the mood (it happens).
 
Do not play mind games... I am assuming you aren't in high school so don't act like it with the games. There are three things you need good communication, respect, and trust. It's all good if you can balance all of those important things.
 
Thanks for the replies. The thing is... if i don't play any games at all, I'll just become a clingy bitch. I also have some problems being myself around girls that I develop feelings for. At first in the relationship I come off as really confident, but as I develop feelings I always know it's the beginning of the end. I start to act nervously around the girl and so on.
 
luxury said:
Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time? .
Click to expand...

why in the world would you play mind games in the first place?
 
luxury said:
Thanks for the replies. The thing is... if i don't play any games at all, I'll just become a clingy bitch. I also have some problems being myself around girls that I develop feelings for. At first in the relationship I come off as really confident, but as I develop feelings I always know it's the beginning of the end. I start to act nervously around the girl and so on.
Click to expand...
The "play games" mentality is sabotaging you. If you recognize the behavior fix it. If you can't fix it, get some frigging therapy or you're doomed to shallow, superficial relationships indefinitely.
 
Basically take whatever the women tell you here, and do the exact opposite. Women don't know what they want.
 
Just bang her sister when you break up.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Basically take whatever the women tell you here, and do the exact opposite. Women don't know what they want.
Click to expand...
Says the man who isn't in a relationship because he's afraid a chick will leave him and take his "stuff" :lmao: (his words, NOT mine)

Just teasing you, Puddles :kiss:
 
PuddleMonkey said:
Thats what they do :(
Click to expand...
Not judging by me, but I'm a dumbass. Stuff meant way more to him than me. I thought if I let him have the fucking stuff he'd be more civilized ... fat chance :rolleyes:

I just wish I'd grabbed the photographs and been a little more observant of my jewelry box ... fucker got a couple of good pieces that I didn't miss until it was too late (and what really bitches me off is it was stuff I bought for myself)!
 
luxury said:
I really am clueless when it comes to this stuff. I have no problem picking girls up, but when it comes to making it last I fail every single time. The reason might be that at the beginning I have no feelings for them so I draw them in. But the more time we date I usually start to act differently around them and may appear even clingy.


Thanks in advance for any input.
Click to expand...

you already know the answer to your own question.

Girls want something of value or someone cooler than them. When you act like you're better than them or don't have feelings for them, that's when they're attracted.

Girls don't like needyness or clingyness..ever. Minute that behavior starts to manifest itself it's like a switch goes off in their brain that says "I am not attracted to this guy anymore".

it sucks, but it's reality. always gotta maintain your edge and at least a majority of the power in your relationship. This is not disney fairy tales or the movies where you can be open and honest and all of a sudden the girl will coming running into your arms. It's just the way women are programmed..blame evolution and the psychology associated with it

Girls love drama, unpredictably and the like. When you start becoming predictable, they basically don't even acknowledge you as a love interest anymore.

just like in business, the person that cares the least about the outcome is the one with the most power.
 
LOL! i didn't even read the other posts in the thread until now.

I know they mean well, but women really need to stop giving advice to men about other women.

It's funny because they don't even recognize the games that they subliminally play (or enjoy being played).

it's always a game of sorts, unless the chick is over 35 and she just wants to get preggo and married.
 
A few swift jabs to the gut followed by more promises of "tough love" are more than sufficient for maintaining a relationship and her obedience. Don't forget to consistently chip away at her self esteem and confidence with repeated barbs to keep her loyal to you.
 
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I think he probably becomes a "clingy bitch" when he starts liking a girl because he has issues - abandonment issues, mommy issues, whatever. Issues aren't attractive. Well, artist types with issues are kind of attractive - but even their issues get old after a while...anyways...
Instead of focusing on mind games he should probably take some time to find out why he is fucked up in the head and then try and fix that. Then maybe things won't be so difficult.
But fixing yourself is hard. No one wants to take the time to do that. Fuck self-improvement! He'll continue using little "tricks" and coping mechanisms and then end up with even more issues. So there is no hope for him. He has a lifetime of unfulfilling, shallow relationships ahead of him. He should probably just get used to the idea of that now.
 
calveless wonder said:
LOL! i didn't even read the other posts in the thread until now.

I know they mean well, but women really need to stop giving advice to men about other women.
Click to expand...

:FRlol: :FRlol: :FRlol:

You see, it's that sort of thinking that is the exact reason why you and all the other dumbasses on this site can't hookup with or hang onto decent partners. You think a "NORMAL" chick is the immature, goofy, neurotic bitch. You run into a straight shooter who acts like a real woman you get all confused :lmao:
 
luxury said:
It's not about me wanting a relationship bad, I just want to know how to act once I do get in one so I don't fuck it up again.
Click to expand...

don't ask me. . .i've only been with my girl for 18 years. . .see me in another 18 and i might have some wisdom to impart. . .
 
Stoßtruppe said:
A few swift jabs to the gut followed by more promises of "tough love" are more than sufficient for maintaining a relationship and her obedience. Don't forget to consistently chip away at her self esteem and confidence with repeated barbs to keep her loyal to you.
Click to expand...


TITCR

basically, a strong pimp hand!
 
nimbus said:
get a 9 inch cock. apparently that buys you two years, even if you're gross, psycho, and worthless
Click to expand...

Then you get to fuck her SISTER after that!!!!!!!!!!@#!W$@@!!
 
funniest part of this thread is how healother's threads have automatically created a hatred for any type of these "coming into their own" threads LOL

poor dude getting blasted
 
calveless wonder said:
funniest part of this thread is how healother's threads have automatically created a hatred for any type of these "coming into their own" threads LOL

poor dude getting blasted
Click to expand...

you dont think this dude is healother?
 
nimbus said:
of course Lestat would only give "regular" orgasms. swole and kb give supermegaorgasms!!!#@!
Click to expand...
regular as in routinely, frequently, not talking about the quality of them. have you ever had a bad one? I haven't.
 
Lestat said:
regular as in routinely, frequently, not talking about the quality of them. have you ever had a bad one? I haven't.
Click to expand...


you have got to be kidding me.

thanks for the 6th grade vocab lesson


smug prick =P
 
nimbus said:
you have got to be kidding me.

thanks for the 6th grade vocab lesson


smug prick =P
Click to expand...
you are the one going out of your way to be an ass, why? you tell me
 
digimon7068 said:
iz there a website for that. . .like the orgasm of the month club. . .and if so, do they accept visa??
Click to expand...
lol!! no but practice makes perfect!
 
LOL @ this whole thread.

It has the perfect mix of Lestat and Smufy bashing.

Now, we have to figure out a way to work Java in.
 
all the whey said:
LOL @ this whole thread.

It has the perfect mix of Lestat and Smufy bashing.

Now, we have to figure out a way to work Java in.
Click to expand...

i'm going to write that javaguru rap for you LOL

oh the possibilities





and wtf is smufy? Smurfy? we were making fun of her?
 
calveless wonder said:
i'm going to write that javaguru rap for you LOL

oh the possibilities
Click to expand...

That is fucking sweet!!!!!!!!!!$@
 
all the whey said:
LOL @ this whole thread.

It has the perfect mix of Lestat and Smufy bashing.
Click to expand...


i def. wouldn't wanna bash either of those two good bros; just jokin around
 
calveless wonder said:
his joke went way over your head.

it was pretty funny

relax homey, smoke some of that badass chronic you have
Click to expand...
lol. i got the joke, just don't know why nimbus is going out of his way to be a nimrod!
 
nimbus said:
lol, sounds like somebody's 500 dollar tool poster got a wrinkle in it
Click to expand...
lol, now THAT was mildly amusing
 
nimbus said:
get a 9 inch cock. apparently that buys you two years, even if you're gross, psycho, and worthless
Click to expand...


If you know how to use it...it will get you a little longer then that
 
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