Hey ladies, lesbian admirers.

[RottenWillow]

Ladies,

I have recently found myself in a position of trying to avoid the breathless admiration of a gay girl. I have thinking about this subject quite a bit lately and have talked about it with friends. I am kind of at a loss about how to deal with it.

This girl is very pretty and I was really flattered at first. I tried to duck her but I think she is mistaking my attempts at diplomacy for shyness so she is still trying to hook up. She's trying to arrange a girl/girl sex buddy relationship. This girl is also funny and I think she's pretty cool. I guess I might be sending mixed messages but I do not have any sexual feelings for her or any other girl. I've only ever had one other very brief incident with a gay girl hitting on me so I have no experience with how to deal with this.

Have you had similar experiences and how have you (diplomatically) handled it? I dont want to hurt any feelings.

Guys please skip this thread unless you have had first hand experience with a girl who's dealt with this.

 

[SoKlueles]

Well, treat it as you would treat a guy who is trying to hook up with you that you dont want to hook up with. Tell her your flattered that she likes you, but you dont see her that way.
Say, that you want to be friends and nothing more...Its better to tell her instead of...sending mixed messages .and hurting her and your friendship in the end. I hope this helps...good luck

 

[Mr. Black]

Tell her plain and simple..."I like cock"

 

[Gymgurl]

I would go with what Soklueles said....just say it....Well I guess Mr. Black summed it up also...

 

[jubei]

Finally a woman who likes men...Yay!!!!

 

[Puddles]

Just tell her the truth, you like her as a friend but that's it. If she keeps at it tell her it's gonna ruin the friendship. Good luck!

 

[Nihilist]

Well, treat it as you would treat a guy who is trying to hook up with you that you dont want to hook up with. Tell her your flattered that she likes you, but you dont see her that way.
Say, that you want to be friends and nothing more...Its better to tell her instead of...sending mixed messages .and hurting her and your friendship in the end. I hope this helps...good luck

or you could do what youd actually do to a guy and slap the dyke in the mouth.

 

[RottenWillow]

Just tell her the truth, you like her as a friend but that's it. If she keeps at it tell her it's gonna ruin the friendship. Good luck!

I do like her a lot as a friend and I guess I'm thinking she'll bail on me completely if I just say straight out there is never going to be any lesbo a-go-go. I suppose I'm getting my friendship needs met and am reluctant to jeopardise that.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Well, I have been hit on by gay men, and even had them openly ask me to have a sexual relationship with them, and that is similar to your situatoin. Tell her the truth, like I do. I usually say, "You seem like a very nice guy, but I am straight, and I'm really not interested." They usually take it fairly well.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Oh, for the record, I worked with a couple of them, so had to be around them, and never really had a problem with the one's I worked with after that, and even had a few freindly conversations at work later with both of them.

 

[NorthNPrincess]

Lot's of great advice already!!! Just don't make it a big issue.....if you make it seem like a big deal, it will turn into one, and everyone will feel awkward. I usually say " Thanks I am soooooo flattered but I'm straight."

 

[THeMaCHinE]

You have to be pretty direct in those situations. And if the friendship is meant to be, it will be...

Doing otherwise is misleading (even if it does feel good to have your needs met, it's unfair to her because it's under false pretenses -- if she wouldn't normally hang with you outside of romantic interest, then it's not meant to be).

 

[IHateCrunches]

or you could do what youd actually do to a guy and slap the dyke in the mouth.

lol i never ever got slapped.. and i have done some shit that deserved it.. the most i got was a upset face.

 

[jubei]

I've been slapped twice both by the same girl on New Years. I guess once wasn't enough. Oh well after that I trashed her hotel room. I got the last laugh.

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

Why don't you be a sport and dive head first......... let your man watch?

Obviously she isn't into girls.

Not all girls are, you know.

The best thing you can do is just be truthful with her. Tell her that you appreciate her friendship. You think she is fun to hang out with. Other than that you are not interested. Let her know that its not that you don't like her but that you are just not into girls at all. That may make it a bit better as she won't think that its her specifically that you aren't attracted to but instead girls in general.

 

[RottenWillow]

Some really nicely articulated suggestions. Thanks

I know I dont want anyone hanging out with me under false pretenses and I know I've been selfish. Now I'm just nervous knowing I'm going to confront her about it but dont have the opportunity just yet.

 

[HANSEL]

Well, I have been hit on by gay men, and even had them openly ask me to have a sexual relationship with them, and that is similar to your situatoin. Tell her the truth, like I do. I usually say, "You seem like a very nice guy, but I am straight, and I'm really not interested." They usually take it fairly well.

Dude whenever that happens I get such a big head, its like uber flattering.

 

[rvd_brock]

Post pics and/or a video of the two of you. It will better help us give advice.

 

[sweetnes11]

I do like her a lot as a friend and I guess I'm thinking she'll bail on me completely if I just say straight out there is never going to be any lesbo a-go-go. I suppose I'm getting my friendship needs met and am reluctant to jeopardise that.

If she dosn't want to be your friend after you tell her, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with,She could be putting on the charm to get you into bed . So its better to find out now before your friendship grows , even if it is one sided.

When you tell her , let her know that your not sure if she is interested in you or not, in that way , but if she is you only want to be friends. that will give her a way out without any embasasment, and you will know if she is your friend for real.

 

[kwenklown]

I would have to say handle it like you would a man and I hink you wont have a problem.if all else fails hook up for a day an see were it takes you

 

[Robert Jan]

What Fina sayd