help with boyfriends "roid rage"

[KBgrl]

my boyfriend is on a cycle and he is changing, big time. he has NO patience AT ALL anymore. We are fighting more often and he is always on edge. I feel like I annoy him by just being alive sometimes. Dont get me wrong, he is a wonderful guy and we have a great relationship but its changing and getting harder to continue with his steriod use. The other day we got in a fight and I had NO CLUE who was standing in front of me saying and doing the things he was doing. I thought he was going to hit me. it was really horrible . He felt so bad and couldnt stop talking about it. He couldnt even believe how he was acting. Another time a group of men didnt see him with me and said something inappropriate to me and he literally lost his mind. He took my club from my car and approached these men screaming all sorts of obsurd things. I mean that could not be any more opposite from the man I fell in love with!He is usually extremely calm and mature but hes acting like an asshole, to put it bluntly.

We talked about it and he does see what is happening so thats a plus I guess. I told him that the steriods are ruining him. he agrees but is not stopping!?!? Is there anything he can take that will help with this? maybe calm his nerves a little bit? or do I just have to wait this one out.

I want my baby back

 

[BrickGirl]

He is probably playing out the "roid rage" mentality that all guys are "supposed" to get. He is feeling more "manly" and maybe for the first time in his life he is feeling "confidence" in which in turn he is testing himself against other people to see "how manly he is". Most all of it is in his head because that is the way he thinks he should act on it. If it were me, I would tell him he looks like a fucking dumbass because he is "acting" and it's not really the drugs doing it, it's because he thinks the drugs are doing it to him. Just my opionion.

 

[takniteasy]

Maybe he could try a different AS? Or perhaps an anti-d or anti anxiety med? I really dont know but I do feel for ya. My marriage fell apart because my ex did a cycle w/o my knowledge and experienced a never-ending rage.

On the other hand, think about yourself first and foremost. If he is not willing to do something positive about the behavior then maybe it is time for you to step back and rethink your relationship. IMO, I would not let a drug come before me in the relationship.

Hang in there. Someone surely will have a more knowledgeable answer than I do, just wanted you to know I been where you are and you will pull thru.

 

[Temple]

I disagree... I know for a FACT that AAS had me on the verge of being the bitch from hell for the first 2 weeks I was on until my body adjusted and it was a struggle to control it. I almost lost control on T3 - I was raging pissed off because the "lighting" in walmart was annoying me and I had to get out of there (yes I know how illogical that sounds). I don't care how much everyone says that it does not exist or that it is a figment of the users imagination or that they use the drug as an excuse... if that is the case then women use PMS as and "excuse" to be a bitch and our hormones really have no real influence on our behavior. There are a few men who I can tell when they are using fina as their disposition changes whether they realize it or not. I think that rather than deny that AAS can alter personality what we need to do is realize that in some the effect is real and severe and perhaps not everyone is emotionally equipped to deal will that aspect of use. If and when my husband does a cycle it will be approached with extreme caution and if there is any indication of a problem he will stop. He was raised in an environment of extreme violence and knows that the potential for him to behave violently is always there.

 

[Bigsatan13]

my boyfriend is on a cycle and he is changing, big time. he has NO patience AT ALL anymore. We are fighting more often and he is always on edge. I feel like I annoy him by just being alive sometimes. Dont get me wrong, he is a wonderful guy and we have a great relationship but its changing and getting harder to continue with his steriod use. The other day we got in a fight and I had NO CLUE who was standing in front of me saying and doing the things he was doing. I thought he was going to hit me. it was really horrible . He felt so bad and couldnt stop talking about it. He couldnt even believe how he was acting. Another time a group of men didnt see him with me and said something inappropriate to me and he literally lost his mind. He took my club from my car and approached these men screaming all sorts of obsurd things. I mean that could not be any more opposite from the man I fell in love with!He is usually extremely calm and mature but hes acting like an asshole, to put it bluntly.

We talked about it and he does see what is happening so thats a plus I guess. I told him that the steriods are ruining him. he agrees but is not stopping!?!? Is there anything he can take that will help with this? maybe calm his nerves a little bit? or do I just have to wait this one out.

I want my baby back

I'm sure he may be on the edge, but let me give you a hint on getting through this. Stay out of his face when he is edgy and don't push the issue. If he asks you to leave him alone do it. It's obvious that you see the increase in aggression, don't test it. He will have to learn how to control his new "attitude". BTW, most women would be flattered by a man defending her honor.

 

[takniteasy]

Thank you, Temple. I was going to post a disagreement this morning myself. I always thought that an increase in hormone levels would result in some type of emotional/behavior change in some people. My ex turned into an a-hole and never changed. Course he continued his cycles also and never managed them very wisely. BTW, he was extremely easy going for years before he cycled.

 

[Hannibal]

The other day we got in a fight and I had NO CLUE who was standing in front of me saying and doing the things he was doing. I thought he was going to hit me. it was really horrible . He felt so bad and couldnt stop talking about it. He couldnt even believe how he was acting.

At the very least he acknowleges that there is a problem. However, if he genuinely doesn't want to "rage" on you then I don't understand why he can't control it. True, when you are on you can feel more aggressive, stronger, whatever...but it is never an excuse for losing control. I don't give a shit if he has an Testosterone IV that injects a gram a minute....no excuse for hitting a woman ( I know he didn't, but sounded like he came close). Besides...save all that aggression for the gym...that's what he's using the stuff for in the first place.

My advice to you, if he is going to stay on, is that whenever you recognize the behavior just walk away. When you hit that point in the conversation where you know he is "raging", tell him so and walk away. Do that enough times and he will get the message...to learn to control it or stop using it.

Take care of yourself KB

 

[KBgrl]

spatts -- He's on EQ and sust right now. When he was on EQ alone I didnt notice ANY change in him. it's just been since he started the sust. For the most part he tries really hard to control his temper. When he gets anoyed he will usually just kinda look up and take some slow breaths. He's usually really good but the times he loses it, watch out! Its frightening because its so damn quick. Im talking from second one to second two hes a lunatic. I never see it coming.

Brickgirl.. You know I love you girl but I dont think thats the situation with my man. Hes usually a very confident mature guy. he is anything but the wanna be macho type...pumping iron and telling everyone hes juicing kinda guy. Hes more like one of those delicious, mysterious...keeps to himself...serious , hardworking hard body type of guys. ... the untouchable hottie!! ummm, anyway.. The last thing hes intersted in doing is living up to some teenage perception of what steriods do. believe me on this one. If he were the type of guy that you were describing he would be with some other chicky, not me.

Hannibal.. He would never hit me. Not in a million years. He felt horrible for calling me a a "fucking bitch." ugh.. isnt that just gross!! anyway... he really felt awful. it was not like him AT ALL!! he said he never called a woman a bitch before. He certainly never called me one before. He's a sweeite , thats why I know its the AS thats making him act crazy from time to time.

As for "defending my honor," he is normally very over protective when it comes to situations with other men and has always had a little bit of a temper when dealing with stuff like that ,but to go as far as approaching someone with a club

i remember when I FIRST stated anavar. it was my first cycle ever and I didnt notice any changes except I became EXTREMELY crazy while driving in heavy traffic. I had such "road rage" it wasnt even funny. well actually it was . I know that I felt more on edge when i first started AS. Maybe he just needs some time. Hes already talking about his next cycle. yea for me! Hes 200lbs now and wants to gain another 15. Hopefully he will be able to do this during this cycle so he'll be done with it.

 

[Screwball]

No sex for your man until he straightens up...

That'll keep your man under control...

 

[Sassy69]

KB --

Set your bounds on what you will & won't deal with from him. You both obviously know what it does to him so its ignorant to let it situations escalate into a fight. Simply tell him that if you feel that he is starting to get too edgy about something that you arent' going to deal with him until he settles down. Its not meant as an insult to him or anythign -- you are simply setting the bounds on what you are willing to deal with. Tell him this ahead of time (at a calm moment) and say that you are just going to walk away until he can get himself under control. Its behavior modification --- if he knows he is now prone to a quicker temper, he might not be able to catch it before it blows up and you know that its not meant as an attack on you for any personal reason -- it just is going to happen. So walk away until he settles down. Keeps it objective and puts the pressure back on him to deal with it -- not on you.

If you're (or he) gonna run the cycle, you gotta accept the consequences. We all know that and we often forget that the consequences can show up in many different forms.

Good luck baby! You know I'm thinking about ya!

 

[lilchit]

i just watched my husband morph into a totally different man.....and leave. i didnt understand what was happening or what to do.

makes alot of sense, sassy.

 

[takniteasy]

Lil, I feel for ya. I went thru the same thing with my ex-husband. As I said before, KB, do what is best for you and make sure YOU come before the anabolics. If he doesn't control his cycle, then he doesn't deserve you. I wish you the best.

Just my $.02.

 

[Temple]

KB - there is some really good advice here. I think it is really important to tell him in advance that you will walk away when you see that he is losing control. I had an ex-boyfriend that walking away from him when he was angry would immediately escalate things into violence....that is why he is an ex. If your boyfriend is a normally a good nonviolent man and I believe that he probably is then the two of you need to discuss this in a calm, nonconfrontational manner and agree to some ground rules for dealing with each other while he is on. Don't argue with him while he is on, if you must get a notebook and write it all down and then jump his ass about everything he did once he comes off. He has to take responsiblity for controlling it and you have to take responsibility for not provoking it.

 

[SofaGeorge]

KB, I was with my wife for 10 years. I loved her dearly... and never once did she have to worry that I might explode and hit her. You deserve the same.

 

[NY Muscle]

KB, I was with my wife for 10 years. I loved her dearly... and never once did she have to worry that I might explode and hit her. You deserve the same.

TRUE DAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gypsy]

There's a couple of things I agree with in here - yes, the roids are making him out of control and it isn't a figment of your imagination. I was in your situation but I DID get hit in the situation. I ended up not leaving, but the roid usage came to a halt from that point on. Another thing is avoidance - we were fighting, I was in his face and THAT set it off more then anything. If he won't stop, steer clear and don't push the issues.

 

[Frackal]

Ahhhh bullshit, roid rage if anything at all is probably not any stronger than women's PMS....tell him to quit being a bitch and control himself. I never get pissy on AAS.

 

[TEXgrl]

Ahhhh bullshit, roid rage if anything at all is probably not any stronger than women's PMS....tell him to quit being a bitch and control himself. I never get pissy on AAS.

pms is a bitch sometimes

 

[nrg]

KBgrl, I so know what you are going through!!! I'm actually really glad that you posted this b/c I have been wondering the same thing over the last month with my bf.

I have been noticing little things with him that made me question if there is something that I've been doing to annoy him. We have an awesome relationship, we're best friends and are very open with one another. But I was feeling rather 'empty' or alienated ...some days worse than others. I actually doubted myself a few times wondering if he was 'bored' with us, when in my heart I know this is not true, but it's just a feeling that's made me feel a little insecure. He's not been aggressive towards me at all, that's not his style at all just sometimes a little distant I guess. He has an incredible personalily, very very funny and always goofing around and when he's in his 'roid mood' it's all so new to me!! I know when to back off, and I've done so when appropriate but I've felt so awlful about it for some reason, taking it personally.

I realize now that his roid moods has nothing to do with me, I am after all a perfect gf <lol>, and I think he appreciates that I don't get upset when he is in a 'mood'. I just leave him alone, give him the space until he's ready to be 'normal' again. It's just something we as humans have to learn to deal with and control. Control being the operative word.

 

[Sassy69]

nrg --- I assume your bf acknowledges that his mood swings are coming from the roids, right? Just having an agreement between the two of you that, yes, the roids are the source of the moodiness and he won't get mad at you because you want to just walk away and he will also learn that its just part of the cycle and to go stand in a corner or whatever until the moment passes. You need to live "around" him, but he should also understand the source of it all and not take your response personally.


...just checkin

 

[nrg]

Sassy69...we've never actually discussed this, when he's in what I decifer as one of his 'roid moods'. I just know myself and I know he's aware of it - esp. when he's driving!! He'll make little comments like "test time" or "it's the cycle talking babe". It's like an unwritten rule now, when I sense he's going there I just back off. It's all good just a little confusing at first.

Thx for the comments chica!

 

[Serenity Head]

I have been on some pretty harsh cycles and I have never felt any type of rage.(We're talking 3 +grams/week) I think that it is macho guys that like to pretend that there gear is working a bit better than it is. Unless he is dieting I see no reason for that type of behavior.
You deserve to have the man you truely love, not some crazed maniac.

 

[Thaibox]

R Rage is an excuse to act like an immature prick.

In January I was on 1g/wk test, 75/day fina, 100/day winny, 100/day prov, 600/wk deca. I felt a little escalation of temper during the times when I would be pissed anyway, but not once was it directed at my girl, ever. I sure as fuck wouldn't call her "a fucking bitch", nor would she ever, even for a second, believe that I could ever even think about harming her physically.

Most importantly, if my girl laid out a legitamate reason such as yours showing her desire for me to stop gear, I would. You know why?? Because I love her. If you sincerely ask your guy to do something simple for you and they say no, you need to think a little more objectively about the relationship.


FRACKAL had the best answer....slap his dumb ass and tell him to stop being such a little bitch

 

[Imnotdutch]

I haven't read all of the responses so excuse me if I repeat something.

You know how when puberty hits, kids turn into assholes? Well, he is effectively hitting puberty again. The only difference is that puberty is a natural increase in test whereas he used a needle this time. Bottom line is test makes you more aggressive and confident.....that is at least part of what he is experiencing. He needs to recognise when he is being unusually aggressive and learn to back off.

The way I see it, mature people cope with the changes well. Alot fo people dont bother.......those people have no business being on cycle.

my boyfriend is on a cycle and he is changing, big time. he has NO patience AT ALL anymore. We are fighting more often and he is always on edge. I feel like I annoy him by just being alive sometimes. Dont get me wrong, he is a wonderful guy and we have a great relationship but its changing and getting harder to continue with his steriod use. The other day we got in a fight and I had NO CLUE who was standing in front of me saying and doing the things he was doing. I thought he was going to hit me. it was really horrible . He felt so bad and couldnt stop talking about it. He couldnt even believe how he was acting. Another time a group of men didnt see him with me and said something inappropriate to me and he literally lost his mind. He took my club from my car and approached these men screaming all sorts of obsurd things. I mean that could not be any more opposite from the man I fell in love with!He is usually extremely calm and mature but hes acting like an asshole, to put it bluntly.

We talked about it and he does see what is happening so thats a plus I guess. I told him that the steriods are ruining him. he agrees but is not stopping!?!? Is there anything he can take that will help with this? maybe calm his nerves a little bit? or do I just have to wait this one out.

I want my baby back

 

[supertech69]

I am naturally an agresive person, not an asshole but, agressive. I have a shorter fuse when I am on & have a lower tollerance for bullshit but, I don't run around starting fights with people & act like a dick. He's got to learn how to controll the added agression, put it to good use in the gym. If I ever get to the point of feeling like I could lose control or mf GF ever feels threatened by me, I'd probably never touch AS again. You should not have any reason to fear one of the people that you trust most. If he can not controll himself & will not choose you over AS because he can not controll it then he doesn't deserve you. Good luck KB I hope everything works out for you.

 

[40Ngrowin]

i just watched my husband morph into a totally different man.....and leave. i didnt understand what was happening or what to do.

Just to set the record straight........ I am the husband that is being referenced in the above quote. It was my first cycle, and I did leave my wife. It had nothing to do with the steroids, however, except maybe to give me the balls to do what i should have done before. I agree with brick girl on impulse versus behavior, it it easier to blame something intangible, rather than to take a look at ones self and to admit the problem lies there. Lilchit could take that advice as well.