Girls i need some help....

[PBR]

I came here to get straight answers from women only- womens insight and advice: some of you know that iam divorced...going on 3 years now. ive been dating thats all..no full-time GF or relationships since. my ex-wife recently joined my gym, ive written about it before...she had an affair with one of the employees at our gym here in town. she eventually left me for him.
i moved to another newer/bigger gym immediately actually before i knew what had happened or who was invloved....again this was 3 years ago. i confronted her about 3 months ago when i saw her come into my gym and started working out...i didnt make a scene but i was not discrete. i was angry... we talked about it...she agreed to come in at different times to avoid me...well it has worked for the most part, but as you know shit happens and we have run into each other on occassion.
she's acted very strangely towards me, like she wanted to talk, touches me and kissed me once ...she actually engaged me several times in conversation...there are alot of loose ends to this story and i have tried to get her to talk about it...she has agreed but never taken the time to deal with it. i have offered many times.
she has recently (last couple of weeks) brought "this guy" into my gym to workout...so of course i hear about it...i wrote her a letter the other day explaining the disbelief of her actions and thought process...no answer. i did not threaten her nor was i angry (so past that). i just conveyed my sadness toward her as to why she would do such a thing....i specifically asked her not to do this to me. (bring him in there) they do not come in at my time..."she" has been tho for the last 2 days...she has ignored me.
it is really bothering me alot...this kid IMO, has alot of BALLS to be in my gym...i let him live twice...once coming out of my house with her and once in a store... whatever... he is really not the issue- you see my point?
i dont know what to do. am i over-reacting to this situation. should i have said anything at all? should i just let it go?...im lost. what do you think is going on in her head? why do you think she did this?

 

[needtogetaas]

I dident even read what you rote.but gass what.move on bro

 

[starfish]

She is being disrespectful and rude. Even though you two are not together anymore, to do that to you in front of your face is poor taste. Be happy she is with someone else. You don't deserve that.

 

[PBR]

ntga...you are correct. i have told myself this many times...i have moved on. but everytime i move, she shows up. in one way or another. this happens to be in my face...our pain is self chosen... im more looking for understanding, maybe its not to be understood by me, thats why i posted the topic.

starfish....i agree, i think this is totally out of line in my eyes...if i had an affair, even if i did not have an affair- i would not expose another women to an ex if i could help it...there are occassions where sometimes we meet others from our past, thats life, and i get it...

 

[superqt4u2nv]

PBR I have no idea what is going on in her head but it is total disrespect what she is doing. I wouldn't let her know anymore that it bothers you. I also wouldn't let her have access to you. Your better then her she does not have the right to speak to you ignore her and ignore him go on with your life.

 

[courtneybcca]

its like she wants to dangle it in front of your face.. try to be the bigger person and ingore it.. I know that is hard to do.. but if you are able she will stop.. she is probably doing it because she is getting a reaction out of you and is in some sick way enjoying it... but if you don't react then there will be no point.. I suggest to try to ignore her as well.. next time she tries to talk to you be polite and just say you are busy in your workout and can't talk... and DON'T talk to her.. avoid her.. if you see her in the gym IGNORE.. because she is not getting an reaction out of you the novelty will ware off... I know it sucks but some people enjoy games... be happy you got out when you did and do whatever it is you need to do to move on...

 

[PBR]

superqt....i guess thats what i needed to hear...i didnt know if i was over-reacting, i thought this was total disrespect and shows a lack of integrity on her part...its painful to watch people destroy themselves and people around them, when they had a chance for a better life and found something that was for real and unconditonal...its a choice tho, and we all make our own...thank you. (QT cant give u any more K yet)

courtney...i suppose you have put me in my place...something im not used to doing-ignoring situations when i have the answer or the ability to solve a problem...mens ego's= we're problem solvers, we think we have to "ACT" all the time when sometimes it is better not to act at all....a womens strength/cunning at times is immeasurable...you are right. as painful as it might be....again, thank you for your thoughts and time...

 

[graciepoop]

i agree w/ courtney- some women do the craziest things JUST to get that reaction out of guys. you've done your part- you've talked to her, expressed how you feel, and went about it in a mature way. she should have more respect for you than what she's showing through her actions, and that lack of consideration doesn't deserve to be dignified with a response. i'm sorry that she's doing this to you...in your gym of all places!

 

[The Shadow]

Jealously is a wasted emotion

 

[Sassy69]

All of what was said above. I'm sure guys do it occassionally too, but women are generally fucked in the head and they are always after the next best thing. And they like to see what sort of power they have over someone. Obviously she thinks she can work you and she may trying to get back into your good graces now that you take the time to talk to her, even if to just confront her, probably for some closure for yourself and to deal w/ this situation. I think she is a real ho-bag for doing what she is doing to you at the gym, but the best thing you can do is rise above it for yourself, but also make it expressly clear to her that she has NO power over you anymore and DO NOT give her the time of day to even think she has that sort of power over you. That will probably drive her more nuts than anything. I've always found that the day I have NO emotion about a past relationship is the day I can get on w/ life honestly and not have struggle to hide a feeling (jealousy or otherwise) or get pissed off because someone showed up or whatever. When you don't even have the inclination to do anything more than just offer the same degree of politeness that you would give to someone you passed at the door going into your gym, then you are "free".

I wish you speed in getting to that point, and patience until you get there.