For people that have been with their partners a long time

[BUBBLES]

I've been married 12 years and have 3 children and my wife and I enjoy each other as much if not more than when the love was new. It's not about talking sexy or expressing fantasies or fucking in the kitchen or anything else that is focused on "the sex" Great sex is a by-product of a great love affair. It's a matter of being selfless and focusing on the other persons happiness ALWAYS. That may mean a massage every night without the expectation of sex later or cooking dinner or putting the kids to bed........I'm coming from a guys perspective so some of this is just thought of as the womans resonsability even though it's really both. Just basically doing nice things for each other without expectaion of anything in return. I think when this goes on over a long period of time you just feel so good about your mate and your relationship that really great sex is just inevitable and effortless. The effort is put in to the relationship and great sex is the reward. This has just been my personal experience but the feelings have to be there first.

Wow great answer. The problem is that not many couples can do what you do. I heard that after 12 years or even after 3 years it is hard to keep that love affair alive.

 

[VascularRock]

Been together for over thirteen years, married for nine, have two children. I have been with a number of woman before I got married. I have never had the unbelievable sex like that of with my wife. Like Puddles had mentioned there may have been a handful times that either my wife or I did not feel like it, but we do it anyway, happily and are usually thankful we did. First and foremost, GIVE and if you are with the right person it will come back ten times over.

 

[EnderJE]

There are some nice answers in this thread. Sadly, I do not have a good answer and my life sounds like another depressing one this thread. Hence, there's no point to sharing it.

 

[bluetwistedsteel67]

Been together for over thirteen years, married for nine, have two children. I have been with a number of woman before I got married. I have never had the unbelievable sex like that of with my wife. Like Puddles had mentioned there may have been a handful times that either my wife or I did not feel like it, but we do it anyway, happily and are usually thankful we did. First and foremost, GIVE and if you are with the right person it will come back ten times over.

Amen! It's all about giving, that's the key. And if you're with the right person giving will come easily.

 

[camjam]

I have to agree. Want to keep it exciting try a hotel and read erotic stories to each other.

 

[Puddles]

I've been married 12 years and have 3 children and my wife and I enjoy each other as much if not more than when the love was new. It's not about talking sexy or expressing fantasies or fucking in the kitchen or anything else that is focused on "the sex" Great sex is a by-product of a great love affair. It's a matter of being selfless and focusing on the other persons happiness ALWAYS. That may mean a massage every night without the expectation of sex later or cooking dinner or putting the kids to bed........I'm coming from a guys perspective so some of this is just thought of as the womans resonsability even though it's really both. Just basically doing nice things for each other without expectaion of anything in return. I think when this goes on over a long period of time you just feel so good about your mate and your relationship that really great sex is just inevitable and effortless. The effort is put in to the relationship and great sex is the reward. This has just been my personal experience but the feelings have to be there first.

I agree with this.

 

[Puddles]

I remember reading something about why we like being in love...it is because of the way the other person makes us feel. If you come home day after day, year after year, and you are greeted by your partner with a kiss and interest in hearing how your day was you will feel a lot better about yourself as opposed to being greeted by nagging and bitching.

When you are dating a person early in a relationship you go out of your way to look and smell good before the date. Well, that shouldn't stop after you're married. Some things are inevitible, like wrinkles, but trying to be the best you can for your partner goes a long way.

When the normal day to day routine things are enjoyable, that will automatically carry over into the bedroom without having to put much effort into it.