I can also TOTALLY relate. I am a friend to a lot of guys. ACtually I really prefer guys to girls as friends - I have always worked in male dominated fields where I'm generally the only girl in a group fo 20 + guys. I can tell raunchy jokes & curse w/ the best of them. I don't mind getting dirty or sweating and wearing nylons or going to get my hair done seems pointless. The sick thing is that the only ones that hit on me are the married ones. This annoys me because I guess I screwed up somewhere in the friendship by being comfortable enough w/ these guys to discuss sexual exploints, jokes, fantasies, etc. They went the extra mile to approach me -- except I have no respect for a guy who is involved to come sniffing around my door because he'll probably do the same shit to me if I let him into my life like that. The perfect answer, then, is to have a gay friend instead of girl friends.
I think both new@ & BrickGirl nailed it --- the guys that are quality enough to be good friends with put both parties in the situation that they either are afraid to sacrifice the friendship for a relationship or there truly is no sexual attraction or whatever is that extra thing needed to make a relationship. I also think that many women are waiting for the guy to make the move first. (Regardless of the women's movement, etc. --- just once I'd like a guy to be "the guy"...) But if neither party makes the move, the answer will never be known. But the risk is possible loss of friendship.
I do know people who have been best friends and end up dating. My only experience w/ having a friend & then ending updating where it actually worked was with a guy I had known for about 5 years, we always socialized but always in a group. Then one night we went out and got hammered -- actually I was pumping him w/ booze to get hiim drunk enough to tell me some dirt on my previous ex. The booze broke down the "non-involvement" wall that protected our friendship and pushed it to the next level. ANyway we dated for a year and I would consider that my most successful relationship to date with someone that I truly loved. But it fell apart for some other stupid reasons -- basically I assumed that the level of communication we had as friends would remain, but when he started feeling like I wasn't givign him the attention he wanted (I was finishing my MBA & hanging aroudn another group of people alot), he started retreating behind the wall and wouldn't come out and say what he wanted to because he was afraid of the response I think. Anyway it got fucked up and fell apart. We are still friends, but we don't hang out together anymore. He knows I still love him & if he needs me I'm there.
So what does that tell you about men & women & being friends. Its back to the question -- can you TRULY have "friends" of the opposite sex with or without (depending on what you want) going beyond platonic? I want to think you can, but I think in reality its the exception more than the rule.
What do girls mean when they say they want to be "friends"? Either means they aren't interested & dont' want to say it straight out or they are scared to go beyond at the expense of the friendship. Did that answer your question? NOPE... I dont' know if there is an answer.....
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geez, I'm sure you are about to blow up 
But instead I have to say "I understand"...since I have been cast into the role as "friend" I just have to listen and be there for them and put my personal feelings aside.
Plus you never cause any trouble and you always give great posts...
