curling, I think you could make a great movie. It could be about choppers too.
There will be a young man whose father went to jail, when the man pulled up to a chopper rally and his bike broke down. Instead of doing what anyone else would do and park the bike to get it fixed, the dude decided he still had to make an entrance. So - at 3 mph with the engine revving at full blare - he pulled up into the barn in such a cloud of dust that it suffocated everyone inside.
So the young man has other complications as well. He has eyes for a girl and he decides to get buddy-buddy with her father (you curling - in your first staring role) in order to get her panties - wait. I meant get her attention.
Thing is, this girl is going out with someone who dresses in full Prada leather and rides one of those sin eating crotch rockets. This person wears a black motorcycle helmet the whole movie. We never see this person's face, lending an air of mystery to the whole movie. After the initial and mandatory "my bike is better than your bike" conflict in the movie, the conflict gets more heated and resolves into a personal, physical conflict.
The climax and final conflict takes place at the girl's mobile home, where the young man and the motorcycle helmet mystery fight it out. Things don't go well for the young man as the Prada black leather clad warrior whips out some moves that would make NEO in the Matrix cringe. After pulling down some track lighting in the mobile home and severly beating the young man with it, the black clad fiend kicks him through the sliding door onto the back patio. Jumping out there, the black clad ass kicker promptly slips and falls on the fresh coat of Thompson's Water Seal, which was inexpertly applied and allowed to puddle on the deck. The young man has a brief chance at victory, which he then squanders mercilessly by attempting a left, right, left, right combo - which all connect - with the motorcycle helmet!!! In the next shot, we see the young man laying back, his busted and broken hands raised skyward, in a feeble attempt to fend off his upcoming doom. The black helmet clad victor is standing over him, raising a Bar B Q fork - grabbed nearby- high over head. As the BarBQ fork plunges down toward his chest, we see the girls father (you curling) moving in slow motion bullet time, frisbee pitch a Bible to the young man. Grasping the Bible, he raises it in an effort to block the plunging BarBQ fork. The BarBQ fork cuts through it like it is warm butter. After the required shots of blood pumping out of his chest 3 feet high... the black leather clad winner stands back and SLOWLY... starts to remove the motorcycle helmet that has been worn the whole movie. As the helmet comes off in slow motion, we see a cascade of hair falling down from under it before it revealed that it is really - A LESBIAN!!!
She turns to the daughter - who caused all this shit anyway - and says "Bitch, you got a beer or sumthing in there?"
The father (you curling) clutches his heart agonizingly. As the movie fades... we hear a thump of his body hitting the floor. As the credits roll, we see the girly duo astride that crotch rocket and barreling down the interstate in the direction of San Francisco.
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