ED problem :(

[leatherface]

Ok I don't want to post this but what the hell. I'm having problem getting it up before sex. I'm fine every other time in life, except when sex is a possibility. I guess i get nervous. After the first time it happened, now thats all I think about. It's some stupid physocological thing I can't get past, and im just curious if this has happened to anyone else, and if so how did you get past it? Its happened 5 times so far, with the same girl and i have no idea what to do. *sigh, alright thanks

 

[gingersnap]

First of all, this happens, trust me, r e l a x! It could be stress, drugs/supplements, or you might need a little blue pill. Are you taking any recreational drugs? This is a big culprit. Sometimes guys get so psched up about a hot chick that they fall apart..in that case just chill. Good luck!!!!!

 

[leatherface]

Not taking any drugs/supplements at all(besides protein heh). I love this girl, its not even the thing about getting psched up. Its just that after 'failing' before, i always think i will again. I try to relax, and there is nothing to be nervous about, but i still find myself in the same position as always. Thanks for replying by the way.

 

[gingersnap]

How long have you been with her? Did you have any "successful sex" before this with her? How old are you? I'm thinking this is nerves really....ya just need to get to know her a little better and establish a successfull sexual repoire with her...I'm thinking, she must be really hot....but so are you or she wouldn't be with you!

You answered your own question you know, you said "I love this girl".

 

[Generic MALE]

One failure often sets guys up to mentally fail again and again. You can just start thinking and watching yourself too much "okay, I am kissing her....am I hard yet?.... its a little hard, so maybe I am going to get real hard this time....damn, shouldn't it be harder than that....gosh what is she thinking....she probably thinks I am too soft....damn now she is going to leave me, and I really like this one....c'mon get hard damn you.....now!"

Have you talked with her about it. If she likes you and is somewhat experienced she is probably understanding.

How much are you working, sleeping, training. Currently I work full time to support the family and go to school full time - often carrying unusual hours and I typically sleep 1 AM to 5 PM at which time I get up to do cardio. Between work and school I put in 60-90 hours per week. Sunday night I did not get to sleep until 2 AM, but decided to wake my wife up for some affection. I was fine to start but lost it about half way through for no reason. Just went limp. I have been married for well over a decade but still felt like a flop. She was okay with it, but I kicked myself for the next day or so. Luckily since then its been okay, but I am much more confortable around my wife than you probably are around this girl.

Lots of things can interefere with the process - fatigue and anxiety/stress are 2 of the most common. Watching your own reaction every second and judging your own performance or lack thereof I think is the worst. Like I said I have had it happen a few times and for me it works best when its happened to just fool around without paying attention or really trying - just enjoy tickling her back or something. If its happened a few times already she is obviously understanding and not going to up and leave you because of it. Jason Kidd had a few games where he just could not hit in this years NBA playoffs - everyone has a period where they have trioubles performing like they usually do, but keep playing and you will get past it.

I know alot of guys personal experience shows a blow job is one of the best ways to get a reluctant team member to stand up. Also some guys experience performance impotence - they don't get it up when they are with a girl they really like, but when they are tested for impotence they get erections and when evaluated with a penile Doppler it shows they have normal blood flow. They can use something like Viagra or Cialis for awhile, although they don't physically need it, but it gives them the confidence that "its going to work". Once they have been consistent and trust their team mate to run the plays, then they can drop the drugs and just let him get his game on.

Pardon the sports analogies.

 

[leatherface]

First of all...
"One failure often sets guys up to mentally fail again and again. You can just start thinking and watching yourself too much "okay, I am kissing her....am I hard yet?.... its a little hard, so maybe I am going to get real hard this time....damn, shouldn't it be harder than that....gosh what is she thinking....she probably thinks I am too soft....damn now she is going to leave me, and I really like this one....c'mon get hard damn you.....now!""

That is exactly right...

I am 18, I have had this thing for her for about 5 years now, we have been best friends for about a year. We are both still virgins. She is very understanding about the situation also.

Lets see, I dont work, I get about 8 hours of sleep a night, and I lift 4 days a week and have martial arts 2 days a week..very active.

I think once we successfully do this just one time i will be alright. I just can't get the thought of failing again out of my head though, just like you guys are saying. Thanks so much for this help, this is killing me. Time for bed now, ill respond more tomorrow...any other questions feel free to ask. I'm willing to do anything here.

 

[geoboy]

take a xanax @ say .25 mg (like a very mild valium) to stop the anxiety and panic (it will loosen the inhibitions without the performance downgrade of booze). then do like GenMale says and pop a viagra or cialis (viagra easier to get and might actually be better in your situation since its more likely to cause "unmotivated" spontaneous erections - like when your dork catches a breeze)

IOW, its a reversal of the old saying- with the shy dork stack above, whether or not your mind is willing, your body will be able.

 

[leatherface]

Is there anything else I can do other than take pills? I really don't even have the money for anything like that. I just need to find a way to completely relax and just like.. live in the moment.

 

[leatherface]

By the way, I've heard herbal supplements such as Ginko Biloba may help, anyone know any truth to this? I think I may try that out since it is relatively inexpensive and easy to obtain.

 

[canadianhitman]

Three or four drinks will get rid of the anxiety...and that much booze won't affect you physiologically. Don't get trashed...just get a mild buzz....it'll calm your inhibitions long enough for you to get the job done.