not to masturbate when you work from home? seriously, i've trained myself to wack one out whenever i have down time, am stressed, can't concentrate or am on a large non-participatory conference call. but i realize that i beat mr. slappy a little too hard recently and he has some battle wounds. there's a good chance this chick is gonna see my dick for the first time tonight, so i want to make sure he's presentable. thus, i've instituted a no-jackin policy for the last 3 days. shit, this is harder than parallel parking
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