Cyber Sex

[cccp]

Excerpt from a cyber sex chat

Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody
DirtyKate:Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja:How did you know?
Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:What the f**k?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate:F**k

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taken from http://66.235.16.23/Training/misc/funny shit.htm#highsquatter

 

[cccp]

Jack Ass's speed bench workout log

Posted by: The EliteFts Crew (www.elitefts.com)

Speed Benches

1st set: 225 - missed. Had to dump the bar to the right side and let the weights slide off then to the left.

2nd set: 225 - missed but this time the bar came down much faster. On this one I dumped the bar to the left first to balance the work from the last set.

3rd set: 225 - missed. On this one I rolled the bar down my chest to my legs then stood up and set the bar on the bench. I am not sure but I think something poped in my rib cage.

4th set: 225 - missed. On this one I tried to bring the bar down very slow to help build up my explosion off the chest. After the bar hit I exploded the bar up about 1/4 inch. This was good as it was 1/4 higher than the last three sets. I tried to heave the bar back over my head and ended up skinning the bar of my head.

5th set: 225 - missed. I tried something new this time. I lowered the first 1/2 very slow then let it fall very fast and tried to get a bounce off the chest. Good news! It came up about two inches. I had to dump the bar to the right side and ended up hurting something in my left shoulder when the bar whipped back to the left to dump the weight.

6th set: 225 - missed. Based on the last set I knew if I was to have any chance i would have to drop very fast from the start. I also remembered I was not taking the bar low enough. So I set the bar above the Abs like they say and let is go as fast as I could. This one about killed me as it crashed down on my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. No need to dump the bar this time because it ended up on the floor.

7th set: 225 missed. I have no idea how people do 8 sets of this stuff but I want to stick to the program. I had to come up with something different so I tried a close grip and lowered slow. It came down good and just pinned me. I tried to dump the bar but my hands were too close but still tried to dump to the left. This worked but messed up my wrist somehow.

8th set (last set): 225 - missed. Okay, Now I had a plan. Reverse Grip! It took forever to get the bar out and I had to do this by placing my feet on the bench and thrusting my ass up high in the air with a huge arch. After I got it out I began to lower the bar and it started to come back toward my head. Long story short. This one went right back into the rack and if it was not for the extra low J hook on the bench, would of knocked my teeth out.

Notes:
Great day! I almost had it a couple time and need to work on my work capacity as it was very hard to get all 8 sets in.

Pre Training Meal: 5 egg whites and a Weider Mega Gainer with 5oz of OJ for that extra kick!

After Training: one half stick of Juicy Fruit Gum. This is my special treat for great workouts.


The rest of my workout went like this:

Push downs: 5 sets 10 reps
Kick Backs: 5 sets 15 reps
reverse Push Downs: 5 sets 10 reps
Side Raises: 5 sets 10 reps
Bent Over Side Raises: 5 sets 10 reps
Front Raises: 5 sets 15 reps
Chin Ups: 5 sets for 0 reps (I tried 5 times to get one rep)
Lat Pulldowns: 5 sets 10 reps
Low Rows: 5 sets 10 reps
Pull Overs: 5 sets 10 reps
Dumbbell Rows: 5 sets 10 reps
Barbell Curls: 5 sets 10 reps
Scott Curls: 5 sets 10 reps
Reverse Scott Curls: 5 sets 10 reps
Wrist Curls: 5 sets 20 reps
* I had to skip my ab training for the day as I was alittle worn out from the speed bench training.

 

[cccp]

well, what's common between those two posts is the fact that they are FUNNY

 

[MeatHead57]

ye im with dark tooth we go from pizza cybering to a wrk out log?