Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

Cheer me up please...

Rachel...lol

Plat Hero
Platinum
You guys know how things work for me... I like somebody or something, I get super excited - things fall apart.
Before Christmas I was flown to Indy by Crowe Horwath to interview for a new Sales Associate position for their Healthcare Professional Services arm - I interviewed with 4 people back to back, all the way up to the Partner for that division. I thought things went great. I received super feedback from the HR recruiter and they said they'd be in contact after the Holidays. My first email a couple weeks ago was that they were finishing up interviews and would be in contact with next steps. Then it was they were finishing up interviews and would have a decision shortly... then Friday I received the email that I wasn't selected... 6 weeks worth of angst.

To make matters worse, things with Nate have gone totally down the tubes. I started getting on him a little bit because I was the only one putting in any effort - he hasn't driven to MI since the first weekend in October, and I've driven there almost every other single weekend; and I was the one always initiating phone calls/texts etc. So about a week ago I get the... "I told you I wanted to move slow and maybe I don't feel the same way as you do right now" and that he wasn't ready for these "expectations" for lack of better words... and that I needed to give him space. Okay fine. So then Friday afternoon I get the rejection letter from Crowe, and I emailed it to him and I got a quick email back that he's sorry and he had good feelings about it. In the meantime, I'm just devastated... in my head I was going to get this job and move to Indy and I was just ready for a change. So I'm crying all day - I'm not texting him and not calling him because he needs space, and then finally he calls around 9pm and by this time I was so worked up and disappointed that he didn't care to call earlier and make sure I was okay - that of course I had to say something that expressed my disappointment that he waited that long to call... he got super super upset, basically hung up on me...

Yesterday he didn't answer my phone call, didn't respond to any text messages. First day since we've met that we haven't talked at all. So now I'm thinking - I have no control whether or not I even get to talk to him again? All this time and emotion and all that driving and all those weekends... ? I feel like I deserve at least a conversation saying that things aren't going to work out right now? Would he really just totally stop talking to me? I'm hoping he's just exercising the "I need space" and time to think... and I'm trying to do that...

I'm just bummed. :(
 
Sorry to hear..I can sympathize on the job thing..I've been going through the same crap the last year and a half, lots of false hope and empty promises thrown my way.. extremely discouraging
 
Sorry you're going through a tough time. I know you felt really different about this guy, but it's time to let it go. You should try to focus more on yourself for a little while. I think it's very commendable that you were willing to drive the 270-something(?) miles to go see him every weekend, not many girls I know would do that, but that just creates such a huge strain, especially when he's not reciprocating. Last night I drove about 100 miles total to go see a girl, and I really wouldn't expect her to do the same anytime soon, because in my mind that's just what the guy is supposed to do.

Being a well-balanced person is probably the most difficult thing to achieve in life, and it's hard to balance professional and personal lives. I think that once you find a better job, and you will, that it might be a lot easier to find somebody who is a bit more stable and drama-free. Men shouldn't come with drama, but it's a reality that many do, and judging from some of the other things you have said about him, this guy builds a lot of drama for no reason. It's not good for your psyche.

Disclaimer: anybody who says I'm white-knighting can kindly STFU :)
 
Oh Rach :(, just be patient to see if he calls,under NO circumstances should you call him, text or email him
 
1. Companies put job candidates through lengthy interview processes all the time and will string everyone along till the end in case the one they hired backs out for some reason and they have to go to the next one in line for the job. So get used to it but yea it still sucks.
2. Long distance is for shit and will never work, i told you someone would get tired of driving. So dont do that again but yea it still sucks to break up.
 
Last edited:
Oh Rach :(, just be patient to see if he calls,under NO circumstances should you call him, text or email him

I know :( It's that whole... if he cares he'll come back on his own or whatever BS. Just the idea that if he doesn't at all? It seems so so disrespectful? :(
 
rach... sry girl but this guy doesnt wanna waste ur time so move on, seriously. Thats too long of a drive. I know something will work out but sounds like ur tryin to hard, i mean u got mad at him for not calling u earlier? I know things arent working out but that will jus push him away farther ya know. But ur a hot sexy girl dont worry about him, hes jus drama anyway and it would be better to deal with drama thats in the same city rather than drive 27 miles to go see drama..

What else can you do with ur degree? Set some short term goals and get them. Be specific about your goals and you will be more likely to achieve them. Its one thing to say "save money" and another to say "save $250 every week and put it into your savings account"

And theres no way you could jus have a short convo with him, it would end up being a long convo and ud end up wanting to talk longer, wanna have him drive up there, etc. Sounds like u can find a better guy and that u deserve a better guy rach.
 
1. Companies put job candidates through lengthy interview processes all the time and will string everyone along till the end in case the one they hired backs out for some reason and they have to go to the next one in line for the job. So get used to it but yea it still sucks.
2. Long distance is for shit and will never work, i told you someone would get tired of driving. So dont do that again but yea it still sucks to break up.

It's not even that I minded the driving? It's the idea that I was the only one that seemed to care.
 
It's not even that I minded the driving? It's the idea that I was the only one that seemed to care.


Well when it seems like ur the only one who cares, then get away from it!

YOU ARE NOT going to change his mind and make him care by getting mad at him, calling/texting him more, etc.

If he says he wants space, give him space but dont wait. Give him space by doing what you want and focusing on you, thats too stressful to wait on him and think about you guys when he wants space. un-needed stress rach
 
Id meet up with u to cheer u up. Wouldnt want anything sechually either, id jus hear u out, buy u clothes, and make u laugh

Well aren't you sweet ;) Thx. The job thing wasn't really about the money - it was just about a new opportunity and a change. I have a very nice job actually - but I've been there 3 years and just itching for a change and to get out of MI.

Clothes and Laughing? Get your sexy young ass to MI.
 
Well aren't you sweet ;) Thx. The job thing wasn't really about the money - it was just about a new opportunity and a change. I have a very nice job actually - but I've been there 3 years and just itching for a change and to get out of MI.

Clothes and Laughing? Get your sexy young ass to MI.


Oh so you wanted to go to Indy and live there? Thatd be sweet. Change is always good but how about focus on getting out of there within a year and what u need to do to get there, whether u have a man or not

Write down some goals seriously and get them done. Find some more things to do in ur free time, read books, do a sport, work out more, learn to cook something new, have a girls night, etc etc just keep urself busy.

But i feel for u it def sucks to have things not go as planned, and ur a girl so its even worse for u because as a man i can get over something in 5 seconds.

Im comin to MI to take care of you for the weekend :)
 
And then to throw things in the mix - forgot to mention yesterday I had a random phone interview (yeah on a Saturday) for a Business Development job for a pretty cool Marketing and Ad Agency in Indianapolis... we'll see where that goes I suppose.
 
I know :( It's that whole... if he cares he'll come back on his own or whatever BS. Just the idea that if he doesn't at all? It seems so so disrespectful? :(


dude is self involved...I know this is a cliche' but aren't you worth more than that??

don't throw yourself at some dude who isn't going to reciprocate in any way shape or form

really sorry bout the job...lotta that goin around :(
 
Never live your life to appease, pander to, or impress the opposite sex. A rule I've lived by and it has served me well thus far.
 
Sorry to hear about the job opportunity.

And don't worry about the guy. They are a dime a dozen.
 
It's not even that I minded the driving? It's the idea that I was the only one that seemed to care.

I know you don't really know me but I just wanted to tell you I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. It really sucks when you think something is different from all the other dating world gong shows out there, only to find out that it's a lot like every other one.

What I always try to do in those situations, once I get past that initial hurt, is to take a step back and try to figure out why I ended up there. Was I at a place in my life where I missed a few red flags or ignored them because I really wanted to be with someone...that type of thing. Sometimes that works...sometimes the guy was just an ass. ;)

Hang in there! I know it hurts when you put yourself out there and really make the effort only to have it thrown back at you. Maybe it's better to know now instead of 6 months down the road. You deserve only the best! There has to be someone out there worthy. :)
 
just startin to get to the point where you're getting a clue what you want out of a relationship and life...don't sweat it :)
 
the older you get the more you will appreciate not being tied down to anyone and enjoying your freedom.
 
the older you get the more you will appreciate not being tied down to anyone and enjoying your freedom.

I wouldn't mind being tied down with the right person, would easily give up my freedom. I'm pretty sure you would do the same if you found Ms.Jacket.

Rach, I'm sorry about the job and the guy. I can't believe I'm saying this but Glad is right. Concentrate on yourself and the rest will fall into place.

This guy is a jerk, he is not man enough to tell you its over but gives you BS story about space. How much space does he need? You are 500+ miles apart.. Cry all you want and be sad today, tomorrow pick yourself up and move on. He is not worth tears anyway.
 
cut all ties with him and focus your efforts someplace where they're appreciated.

if i can't win with someone no matter what i do i flat out give up and move on. that's just me though.

be a pioneer and put him in the "brother zone" i've sent a handful of chix to the "sister zone" and it fucked them up to this day. they don't understand it.
 
I wouldn't mind being tied down with the right person, would easily give up my freedom. I'm pretty sure you would do the same if you found Ms.Jacket.

Rach, I'm sorry about the job and the guy. I can't believe I'm saying this but Glad is right. Concentrate on yourself and the rest will fall into place.

This guy is a jerk, he is not man enough to tell you its over but gives you BS story about space. How much space does he need? You are 500+ miles apart.. Cry all you want and be sad today, tomorrow pick yourself up and move on. He is not worth tears anyway.

I dont think so. I think marriage as a concept just isnt for me. Thats why I made that thread about it. If I wasnt going to marry my exfiance I dont think I would marry anyone. I found out a lot about myself and leaving perfectly good women for seemingly no good reason. Im at the point where I realize there was a reason I just didnt consciously realize it. Its that marriage itself isnt for me.
 
You can be committed to someone and not get married if that's what you both want. It's nice to share your life with someone that you care about.

Personally, I want the whole 9. After I'm done with all the traveling, I'd like to settle down. The marriage, kids and everything else. I'm not afraid to say it. Not letting past relationships get in the way of what I want.




I dont think so. I think marriage as a concept just isnt for me. Thats why I made that thread about it. If I wasnt going to marry my exfiance I dont think I would marry anyone. I found out a lot about myself and leaving perfectly good women for seemingly no good reason. Im at the point where I realize there was a reason I just didnt consciously realize it. Its that marriage itself isnt for me.
 
You can be committed to someone and not get married if that's what you both want. It's nice to share your life with someone that you care about.

Personally, I want the whole 9. After I'm done with all the traveling, I'd like to settle down. The marriage, kids and everything else. I'm not afraid to say it. Not letting past relationships get in the way of what I want.

Yea I can certainly be committed to someone on our own accord. But marriage puts an unnecessary outside force onto the relationship and is unfairly slanted towards the interests of women at the expense of men.
 
You know, you are gonna be the first one to get hitched. I'll bet on it!



Yea I can certainly be committed to someone on our own accord. But marriage puts an unnecessary outside force onto the relationship and is unfairly slanted towards the interests of women at the expense of men.
 
i'm so sad. just kind of sitting here in blank space with absolutely no excitement about anything. :( and i'm hungry and there's no food here. and I'm sick I can hardly breathe. :(
 
i'm going to a gym that I don't belong to and taking their Body Combat and Body Flow classes. That will make me feel better. I haven't taught a Combat class in ages... that's a whole 'nother story. Thanks for pick me ups.
 
i'm going to a gym that I don't belong to and taking their Body Combat and Body Flow classes. That will make me feel better. I haven't taught a Combat class in ages... that's a whole 'nother story. Thanks for pick me ups.
glad's advice was actually solid for once. have some "rach" time and collect yourself. you have a ton of great stuff going on in your life.

focus on the good, and forget the bad.

you just started a new website, have a solid job, and you're a young girl with a awesome body and a dynamite personality. great things will come to you.

I know you'll find a great job in the future and find the love of your life, but you have to realize it takes time rach.

someday, not too far away, a young bro will sweep you off your feet. you just have to be patient.

as far as glad's idea of goal setting, it's a brilliant idea.
think of your life as a circle with three different halves in it. Health, Wealth, and Love. work as hard as you can to make all three of them better.

you're a good girl rach! don't forget it! and remember to look out for #1 first. yourself.
 
I started getting on him a little bit because I was the only one putting in any effort - he hasn't driven to MI since the first weekend in October, and I've driven there almost every other single weekend; and I was the one always initiating phone calls/texts etc. So about a week ago I get the... "I told you I wanted to move slow and maybe I don't feel the same way as you do right now" and that he wasn't ready for these "expectations" for lack of better words...

I'm not texting him and not calling him because he needs space, and then finally he calls around 9pm and by this time I was so worked up and disappointed that he didn't care to call earlier and make sure I was okay - that of course I had to say something that expressed my disappointment that he waited that long to call... he got super super upset, basically hung up on me...

Yesterday he didn't answer my phone call, didn't respond to any text messages.




I told you a month ago why this was going to fail, typical of a woman to reject reason.




Men like to chase, and you're running directly at him at full speed. Women make this mistake all the time.
 
"he who cares least in the relationship - has all the power".

I think I know where you stand in that formula. So move on and find another guy. I think EF has a lot of single guys so you don't have to look far!

c
 
stop being such a pussy. Life could always be worse, suck it up.


Exactly.

Rachel...at the end of the day, you're a hot chick with a good job. Sure, life could be better...BUT..life really isn't all that rough when you break it down like that, is it?

It's all about perspective; instead of dwelling on the guy it didn't work with, concentrate on how you are now free to find a guy who's even better AND local (long distance is crap...it's good for a fling, nothing more). Instead of agonizing over the job you didn't get, concentrate on how you can now concentrate on going after an even better job.

Keep in mind the seasonal blah is probably making your mood over recent events even worse. Go for a tan, plan something fun with the girlfriends, whatever...do anything but sit around and mope.
 
You guys know how things work for me... I like somebody or something, I get super excited - things fall apart.
Before Christmas I was flown to Indy by Crowe Horwath to interview for a new Sales Associate position for their Healthcare Professional Services arm - I interviewed with 4 people back to back, all the way up to the Partner for that division. I thought things went great. I received super feedback from the HR recruiter and they said they'd be in contact after the Holidays. My first email a couple weeks ago was that they were finishing up interviews and would be in contact with next steps. Then it was they were finishing up interviews and would have a decision shortly... then Friday I received the email that I wasn't selected... 6 weeks worth of angst.

To make matters worse, things with Nate have gone totally down the tubes. I started getting on him a little bit because I was the only one putting in any effort - he hasn't driven to MI since the first weekend in October, and I've driven there almost every other single weekend; and I was the one always initiating phone calls/texts etc. So about a week ago I get the... "I told you I wanted to move slow and maybe I don't feel the same way as you do right now" and that he wasn't ready for these "expectations" for lack of better words... and that I needed to give him space. Okay fine. So then Friday afternoon I get the rejection letter from Crowe, and I emailed it to him and I got a quick email back that he's sorry and he had good feelings about it. In the meantime, I'm just devastated... in my head I was going to get this job and move to Indy and I was just ready for a change. So I'm crying all day - I'm not texting him and not calling him because he needs space, and then finally he calls around 9pm and by this time I was so worked up and disappointed that he didn't care to call earlier and make sure I was okay - that of course I had to say something that expressed my disappointment that he waited that long to call... he got super super upset, basically hung up on me...

Yesterday he didn't answer my phone call, didn't respond to any text messages. First day since we've met that we haven't talked at all. So now I'm thinking - I have no control whether or not I even get to talk to him again? All this time and emotion and all that driving and all those weekends... ? I feel like I deserve at least a conversation saying that things aren't going to work out right now? Would he really just totally stop talking to me? I'm hoping he's just exercising the "I need space" and time to think... and I'm trying to do that...

I'm just bummed. :(

I recommend ice cream out of the tub, watching chick flicks with the girls and some time to do some fun stuff that you haven't done in a while.
motherly advice: one door closes, and another door opens...you're too good to waste your tears on some bum. chin up, rachel...lol.
 
Sorry :(
 
i'm so sad. just kind of sitting here in blank space with absolutely no excitement about anything. :( and i'm hungry and there's no food here. and I'm sick I can hardly breathe. :(

Rach, you are young, career driven and free enough to do nearly anything you want. I say this with as much kindness as I can. Stop the pity party.

That dude wasn't good enough for you. I think many here will agree with me on that. And the right job will surface for you. It will be one that you love in a new and exciting place I'm sure. Just be patient and don't get so down, girl. Something better will come along.
:rose::heart:
 
oh wow, poor baby :(
People around us will always be worse, not to mention on other areas of the world..... unless you are terminal and in pain things can ease up with time.......
Try doing something new, take a course or class, photography, cooking, cross stitching, whatever, it's a good way to burn time, meet people, learn a skill and have fun :)
 
This thread is why I wish i had more time to check in at this site. I wont go into detail but Rach has always been a great friend and there when i wanted or needted to chat.

With that said Rach you have soooo many things going for you. Dont sweat this guy who wasnt willing to spent the same energy and time that you were on the relationship. YOu have soo many things to offer and I honestly believe in you. Job wise you have it all and you and I both know that any company that hires you has just made the biggest steal in recent years.
You know how to contact me me both here and in private....my thoughts and prayers are with you and I know that you will pull throught this like the strong woman that you are. Remember FTW!
 
Hate to be a wet blanket, but you gave this guy whatever he wanted (oral anyway) as soon as you met him, drove to see him every weekend without any reciprocation and you're surprised he doesn't really want anything serious? When a relationship is totally one sided like that it is a recipe for exactly what happened, which is that the guy knew he had an easy lay who he probably joked with his friends would drive four hours every weekend to do whatever he wanted.

Only knowing you by e-standards Rachel, you need to make sure that you focus on yourself and get your self esteem up so that you stop letting all of these guys use you. You're obviously a very caring person who has a lot of great qualities and is smoking hot as well - but you're a target for any guy who preys on insecurities and you seem to always go after the wrong ones, likely due to something from your past (internet psychology over).

If all of the white knights on here are an indicator you won't have a problem finding a guy, you just need to figure out what you really want.

As for the job, that's too bad but like others have said they usually keep all their options open until the last minute. give it time and it will come.
 
Hate to be a wet blanket, but you gave this guy whatever he wanted (oral anyway) as soon as you met him, drove to see him every weekend without any reciprocation and you're surprised he doesn't really want anything serious? When a relationship is totally one sided like that it is a recipe for exactly what happened, which is that the guy knew he had an easy lay who he probably joked with his friends would drive four hours every weekend to do whatever he wanted.

Only knowing you by e-standards Rachel, you need to make sure that you focus on yourself and get your self esteem up so that you stop letting all of these guys use you. You're obviously a very caring person who has a lot of great qualities and is smoking hot as well - but you're a target for any guy who preys on insecurities and you seem to always go after the wrong ones, likely due to something from your past (internet psychology over).

If all of the white knights on here are an indicator you won't have a problem finding a guy, you just need to figure out what you really want.

As for the job, that's too bad but like others have said they usually keep all their options open until the last minute. give it time and it will come.

damn, this is right on point IMO
 
1. Companies put job candidates through lengthy interview processes all the time and will string everyone along till the end in case the one they hired backs out for some reason and they have to go to the next one in line for the job. So get used to it but yea it still sucks.
2. Long distance is for shit and will never work, i told you someone would get tired of driving. So dont do that again but yea it still sucks to break up.

^^ this. I'm sorry Rach, life sucks at times and this seems to be one for you. Sometimes all I can do is say " and this TOO shal pass". and it will.......
 
feeling guilty? maybe he was talking about someone else.
We all know who he was talking about, he's just a jeoulous bish, trying to take my women with this SB is a Cheater shit. Once a cheater always a cheater blah blah fucking blah. I walk the path of The Chosen One, only God can judge me mutha fucker.
 
I told you a month ago why this was going to fail, typical of a woman to reject reason.

awww, now that's not really fair. The rush of chemicals the brain experiences during infatuation override the part of the brain that governs logic. lol. This happens to both men and women....lol not just women. When the chemical flood dries up a relationship will either move into a real one or it ends.

I'm sorry this worked out for you this way Rachel. I could tell you were really falling for this guy and I really wanted it to work out for you. :hug:
 
Sorry you're hurting. Consider it a blessing he showed you his true colors sooner rather than later. You could have wasted lot of time.
I also have to agree with Pony. You need to work on being more secure and then you won't even have an interest in the insecure men.
 
I agree with pretty much everything people have said:
Rush to the brain and other parts made me overzealous and too giving/needy - still can't help that I felt that way. And he could've handled things differently as well. We've talked a couple of times - and right now we're at the... forget about any labels or expectations, if we talk on the phone or message, we do - if we don't well.... Because we were talking on Skype on... Sunday night he finally talked to me. Basically he's saying, "I don't know what to do"... etc., and it just seemed easier to say well it's not like we have to make a decision and never talk again... so I've left him the F alone and the past couple nights he's been the one saying goodnight for a sec.

thanks everybody for your words - even if they didn't "seem" positive, I understand and appreciate that you're really just giving it to me straight. Oh, I've worked out now for 7 days in a row! I have been so inconsistent, generally 3 days a week or so.
 
Yea, I wouldn't talk to the dude anymore. There are way too many men out there for "I don't know". Never chase a man. Never.
 
The mutha fucker is geigh I'm telling you this shit for your own good. Tell him you bought a strap on and you wanna experiment. I bet his ass is on your door step in just the matter of the driving time from his geigh bat cave to your crib
 
The mutha fucker is geigh I'm telling you this shit for your own good. Tell him you bought a strap on and you wanna experiment. I bet his ass is on your door step in just the matter of the driving time from his geigh bat cave to your crib
LM AO :lmao:
 
I agree with pretty much everything people have said:
Rush to the brain and other parts made me overzealous and too giving/needy - still can't help that I felt that way. And he could've handled things differently as well. We've talked a couple of times - and right now we're at the... forget about any labels or expectations, if we talk on the phone or message, we do - if we don't well.... Because we were talking on Skype on... Sunday night he finally talked to me. Basically he's saying, "I don't know what to do"... etc., and it just seemed easier to say well it's not like we have to make a decision and never talk again... so I've left him the F alone and the past couple nights he's been the one saying goodnight for a sec.

thanks everybody for your words - even if they didn't "seem" positive, I understand and appreciate that you're really just giving it to me straight. Oh, I've worked out now for 7 days in a row! I have been so inconsistent, generally 3 days a week or so.
we all got your back rach!!!!
 
I bet you do you lil horny bastard.
 
LOLZ, easy to control your urges bro when nobody is offering you any pussy. :)
 
LOLZ, easy to control your urges bro when nobody is offering you any pussy. :)
lol at offering. I take what I want.... But screwing everyone around you doesn't make you a better man. It just makes you have a shitload of kids, and end up paying a shitload of child support. ;)
 
LOLZ I love my kids bro, and they love their Daddy. They are all good looking, talented, athletic and do great in school. Well the middle one is like me, he thinks he is gonna get by on athletic ability, or some rich hoe is gonna take care of him. Thank God their mothers were all very beautiful women, huh?
 
and by "take" i mean that i'm not afraid to approach anybody. not have sex with them.
lololol
 
iggy; said:
i don't know how trying to bang a girl under 5'0 relates me to a rapist rob....

i need to get your dumbass a thesaurus... lololol

This is Mitch's next great chop oppertunity this could be bigger than Mt Iggsmore
 
Top Bottom