Body image issues and disorders

[debij]

I am and I'm sure many others are so sorry for the loss of your baby Nef. It may sound so chiche' to say you will be in my thoughts and prayers, but its hard to find the right words to say when something like this happens. We deal with so much "stuff" in life and at times it seems the unhappy times override the happy times. If you can dig deep inside of you and pull out that woman who has faced other difficult issues, then you'll be on your way to better feelings. We women here on EF will stand behind you and just know that!! Know that anyone of us could be in an "unhappy" place but we are here for one another. Wish I could say more to make you feel better.... I will be here for you, as I know you'd be for me. You are a precious gem on this Earth. Always remember that!

 

[Thandie]

I am sitting behind my desk in front of my mac with a blackberry and Iphone on each side and all I kept thinking while doing some work was similar to what Debi just said. I recently had the pleasure of being on a conference call with you, Nef among other great people and in the past couple of days I was able to see, within some challenging moments we lived through, what an extraordinary person you are. You're so caring and compassionate that I can only wish the very best and happiness to you. You are a gem to us here and I'm sure to your family and friends as well. I am also sorry you've lost your baby and I also wish I can say something to make it better, but I don't think I can.
Thank you for making a difference!

 

[cindylou]

*sniff* We love you Nef!

 

[Tatyana]

Nef, I am sorry to hear that you lost the baby.

Debij, I am sorry to hear that your husband is now disabled.

How ironic is it that while I was growing up I really wanted to be one of those super skinny girls and I hated my big arms and legs.

I used to have a very bad diet, emotional and bored eater until I was around 22. I have been quite a fattie and lost loads of weight.

Right now I am quite chubby, but instead of hating my body I have been enjoying the curves.

I do think I am quite lucky as my set body weight is lower and I have a lot of muscle which helps me take off the extra body fat fairly quickly.

I have come to realise that I am quite rubbish at telling what I look like, so there have been numerous occasions where I have been really lean but thought I was still fat, or when I am chubby but don't see it.

Photography and compassionately honest mates are a fantastic asset.

 

[nangiggles]

Wow, I'm new here but I am so glad to see this thread here, since I believe it is a VERY important aspect considering body image is a main discussion of the board and the distorion of it can be VERY dangerous, I had a mild presentation of an eating disorder but reversed to what is common, most people talk about anorexia, blumia, vigorexia, etc mine was actually compulsive eating disorder, I wou;d eat anything or everything I could, excluding veggies and fruit of course.... one has such a craving for food I made myself a "sandwich" consisting of white bread, chocolate cake frosting and whipcream on the top sprikled with rice Krispies I'm 5"1 and was 185 pounds..... I was going through a relationship which was very tormenting, my ex-boyfriend was pathologically jealous and I wouldn't even leave the house so he wouldn't think I was seeing someone.... when we broke up I decided to start swimming and walking and in the first month of leaving him I managed to lose over 20 pounds in less than a month, a huge burden was lifted off me since I no longer had the anxiety that made me eat so much....

Distortion works so diferently in each mind, contrary to anorexia where thin people see themselves overweight, I would look at myself in the mirror and think that if I just sucked in my gut/belly I looked skinny and despite my family's effort for me to excersize, eat lean or lose weight I was convinced I wasn't that overweight.... now I see the pictures and I get terrified of how obese I was.... the stretch marks all over my body due to the constant weight shift are my reminder of what happened.....

 

[nefertiti]

nan,

With my bulimia, I'd do the same sort of thing during my "binges"...I'd just purge afterwards. And like you, a lot of it had to do with a poisonous relationship I was in. I'm so glad you found your way here, the women here will help you feel great about yourself and improve your health in body and mind. Please PM me if you ever need anything.

I found an interesting article about a newly explored sort of eating disorder for which people in this lifestyle might benefit increased awareness. It's basically an obsessive awareness of the cleanness and healthiness of your diet.

Health Food Junkie--Orthorexia Nervosa, the New Eating Disorder

 

[nangiggles]

Wow, thnx for the welcome and for the info, I'm a psychologist and of course always have to be reading and watching out for news to keep up to date, I knew about health food junkies but they were mostly considered obssesive, I see they are now trying to shift it into an eating disorder category (which of course makes a whole lot more of sense), very good info, thnx!

 

[Tatyana]

Wow, thnx for the welcome and for the info, I'm a psychologist and of course always have to be reading and watching out for news to keep up to date, I knew about health food junkies but they were mostly considered obssesive, I see they are now trying to shift it into an eating disorder category (which of course makes a whole lot more of sense), very good info, thnx!

Cool, I am doing a BA in psychology right now. I think you will also find Ariel quite interesting, he is doing his Master's in psychology.

 

[nangiggles]

No wonder he totally analized me in one of the chats jaja, he caught me off guard ^_^ my PhD study is in Neuropsychology so I haven't analized personality I quite a while....

 

[debij]

Nef, I am sorry to hear that you lost the baby.

Debij, I am sorry to hear that your husband is now disabled.

How ironic is it that while I was growing up I really wanted to be one of those super skinny girls and I hated my big arms and legs.

I used to have a very bad diet, emotional and bored eater until I was around 22. I have been quite a fattie and lost loads of weight.

Right now I am quite chubby, but instead of hating my body I have been enjoying the curves.

I do think I am quite lucky as my set body weight is lower and I have a lot of muscle which helps me take off the extra body fat fairly quickly.

I have come to realise that I am quite rubbish at telling what I look like, so there have been numerous occasions where I have been really lean but thought I was still fat, or when I am chubby but don't see it.

Photography and compassionately honest mates are a fantastic asset.

Tat,
Gosh, we all have some type of issue with ourself, dont we? I always look around at other people & think I'd love to look like that or have that body part. It never seems we realize that the people we are admiring might be having their own insecurities. I've wanted "boobs" forever cause I'm small but with the care & lifting I do with my husband and my work, the time to heal properly is something I dont have right now.
I want to thank you for sharing your inner thoughts and feelings. I look at those pictures and imagine the woman in them is full of pride & confidence. I will tell you this... I love to look at the inside of someone. For me, the inside of Tat has been kind and welcoming to me. That makes you beautiful in my book!!
Even when I am around men, if there's a heavy man in the crowd and he's laughing, and just has "that something" about him, I'll keep my eye on him for awhile much sooner than a really good looking guy with a bad attitude. Not saying alll good looking men have bad attitudes - I just mean that sometimes the "different" looking people are overlooked by our desire to have someone beautiful/handsome by our side.
Right now, I'll watch a couple & its obvious by their body language they're mad at each other. I'd like to go up to them and say, 'how would you feel if you never heard him/her speak again' or 'how would you feel never to have her/him hold you again'...
things are hard in all relationships, I know that but from what I've gone through & continue to go through, I wish I could "wake up everyone" and make them realize we never know when something is going to be taken away from us.
One thing I'd like to ask, whether its hope, or prayer, or just spirituality you all practice I need something... soon my husband's other leg will need to be taken & at that time its a decision to do it or use 'comfort measures' only. So please help me with some positive energy!
I know I went way off-topic, thinking aloud I guess. Thanks to all of you who have posted your stories and also helped make me feel welcome at EF.
Peace,
debi