being GAY.

[wyst]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: being GAY.

Goatslayer
You can say so much with just one word. DAMN, I love your style!

This thread is gay.

So you must be gay by association, since you posted on it.

Sorry to hear about your friend, RyanH. Nice words, Starfish.

 

[Code]

More accurately, your friend killed himself because he was suicidal.
I have four gay friends, well, one lesbian and three gays. But my point is, they are all healthy and don't seem to be bothered by stereotypes, in fact, they jest about it more than all of their straight friends.

I doubt highly that your friend killed himself simply because he was gay or because he was stereotyped frequently.

Moreover, it isn't healthy for you to beat yourself up about it. I don't think it's something you or anyone could have prevented.

I have personally lost two friends to suicide, and been to somewhere in the area of 50 sessions with psychologists over the past 8 years.

 

[RyanH]

Pressures are self imposed, and also, self-removed.

I couldn't care less about someone's sexuality.

I know that you don't Matt, I've never sensed otherwise.

But, I disagree with your statement that pressures are self-imposed. Generally, a person's sexuality brings a whole new set of pressures---similar to some of the pressures many African-Americans experience.

Am I happy with myself? Absolutely. But, we should be realistic about the fact that many homosexuals have relationships that are effected in one way or another because of their sexuality....Much of society also automatically deems you a certain way because of your sexuality.

Being shunned by one's family is a prime example of a pressure that likely occurs in a higher percentage of gay men (in proportion to straight men).

 

[Citruscide]

I don't want to sound like a rude asshole here... but killing oneself? Isn't that a bit overboard? Does it really SOLVE anything? Are people truly THAT weak? I'm sorry if I am offending anyone, I truly am... It's just, I have a hard time finding sympathy in my heart for those who take the easy way out of life... rather than taking these challenges head on...

The fact that someone is gay... well, that's their choice... but the whole suicide thing.. .come on.

C

 

[RyanH]

That is really sad about your friend Ryanh...

My brother is gay and I spend a lot of time with him and his friends. Many don't talk about their families and I often wonder if that is why. Heck, I've been treated differently because I have a gay brother so I know it must be tough..

Star, what many of us fail to understand is that there are many gay men who live in rural areas where an understanding for gay life is bound to be dramatically less than in larger areas.

 

[RyanH]

The fact that someone is gay... well, that's their choice... but the whole suicide thing.. .come on.

C

 

[RyanH]

The fact that someone is gay... well, that's their choice... but the whole suicide thing.. .come on.

C

I COMPLETELY AGREE. But, we both live in urban areas, what if you live in a rural area? We have to understand that someone living in Mississippi would not have the outlet that gays living in urban areas usually have.

I would never kill my self for ANY reason. But, my point is that being gay is not "Will and Grace" everywhere. There are still areas in this country that are VERY homophobic.

 

[starfish]

I would think it would be really hard to be a gay man in certain parts of the United States.. My brother has a friend who works in solving hate crimes so I can completely understand your point of view. No white, straight man will ever no that fear simply because of his sexuality..

Maybe that is why the gay community tends to live in communities where it is more accepted. Some really cool places too.

 

[RyanH]

More accurately, your friend killed himself because he was suicidal.
I have four gay friends, well, one lesbian and three gays. But my point is, they are all healthy and don't seem to be bothered by stereotypes, in fact, they jest about it more than all of their straight friends.

I doubt highly that your friend killed himself simply because he was gay or because he was stereotyped frequently.

Moreover, it isn't healthy for you to beat yourself up about it. I don't think it's something you or anyone could have prevented.

I have personally lost two friends to suicide, and been to somewhere in the area of 50 sessions with psychologists over the past 8 years.

I appreciate your thoughts. But, the fact of the matter is that there is a substantial number of young gays and lesbians that end their lives because they lack the ability to deal with their sexuality. Of course, there are many many STRONG gay men and lesbians.

But, my point is that having a different sexuality in a unique set of circumstances (i.e where you live, your family religion, number of friends, relationship with family) is bound to change the view for many people.

 

[Citruscide]

I COMPLETELY AGREE. But, we both live in urban areas, what if you live in a rural area? We have to understand that someone living in Mississippi would not have the outlet that gays living in urban areas usually have.

I would never kill my self for ANY reason. But, my point is that being gay is not "Will and Grace" everywhere. There are still areas in this country that are VERY homophobic.

Point taken. And I agree with you. As well as there are many places (maybe even more so in urban areas) that are the same way with black people.

C