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any advice for the guys when they go down?

allcutnobulk

New member
hey ladies, this is in response to jennifer BFL chick's thread. it's time to tell us how you like it. what techniques work the best to make you boil? what turns you off? tell us all. we're waiting and willing to learn!
 
Deep tongue action is good, really go in deep and swirl your tongue in a fast circular motion, just do it fast dammit!

Eat it like a hungry dog going for it’s bowl of food, that’s great watching a guys head going for it down there, moving around and shit he he he.

Also when you are down there, munching it, finger her aswell, full on play with her pussy. She’ll love it.

:chomp:

Nothing’s really a turn off, I guess if they told you it stunk or something, then that would be a turnoff.
 
I'll have to get the hunny to post up his "technique"

HEHEHahahhahahehehehaohehahhaehhhaa!!!!

I swear to God....in ALL THESE years the kitty has NEVER BEEN SO PLEASED! Don't get me wrong, overall the ex was good in bed (even though I told him he sucked when we got into a nasty fight several months back. What was I supposed to say? YOU WERE DAMNED GOOD?!) but when it came to this department -

HE WAS CLUELESS and THAT IS THE GOD'S HONEST TRUTH!!

No beau before him could do it right either.....

But the HUNNY.... NOW HE is just AMAAAAAAAAAAZING!

MMMMMMMEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW!!! :kitty:
 
Anybody else heard enough about how great a lover Bikinimoms b/f is? As far as going down on girls is concerned, I can't help. I've never been a chick.
 
Personally I think all those posts are part of her plan to take over the world. Before she can do that she has to beat the stronger and more intelligent sex (thats right ladies, we just let you think that you are smarter than us) into submission......making us feel inadequate is prob her way of doing that :)

However if you want to thwart her cunning plan you could always use the ignore function.....or stop reading the minute you see the "H" word.....or just by-pass any posts by her that you see on these threads.

:kaioken: Ok somebody flame me now .....its been over a week since I've experienced that and I'm beginning to miss it. :kaioken:

Just my 2c.


Test boy said:
Anybody else heard enough about how great a lover Bikinimoms b/f is? As far as going down on girls is concerned, I can't help. I've never been a chick.
 
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Bikinimom, most men are clueless when it comes to cunnilingus. I hate to say this, but my ex was probably the best I have had so far, that was the only thing we really got along with; oral sex.

I guess it is hard to know what to do to a woman if you don't have a clit. Most men don't even know how to finger is right. It's either too hard or not in the right place. :)


*sigh*
 
I'll bet you ladies that are complaining have ever told your man how you like it. When we're licking your twat we have no idea if it feels good unless you tell us.
 
lol

leave it to the internet to bring out the perverts in all of us! well, i've done the finger thing, the deep tongue thing, the circular thing. and i usually keep the teeth out of the action. i guess i already know most of the tricks. i ALWAYS get the "job" done! just wanted to see if anyone had any tricks that i hadn't tried yet. keep posting. i'm sure there's something that i haven't heard yet.

oh yeah, bikinimom, when your "hunny" does it next time, scream his name real loud and tell him he's a god. guys like that ego pumping stuff.

:p god bless this meal we're about to eat:p
 
plifter said:
I'll bet you ladies that are complaining have ever told your man how you like it. When we're licking your twat we have no idea if it feels good unless you tell us.



Hello!!!!!


"On yeah, right there." He moves his tongue over. "No, go back to where you were" He can't find the spot. He finds it again. "Oh god, yes, like that." He moves his damn tongue again. :mad:

I moan and talk dirty, I think a man knows when he is doing a good job.

When you are about to go down on a woman, spread the lips apart and look to see where that clit is, then target it and lick it. If you don't know what a clit looks like, ask us, we'll point it out for you. Men think they know where the clit is, but they are usually an inch off. :mad:
 
plifter said:
I'll bet you ladies that are complaining have ever told your man how you like it. When we're licking your twat we have no idea if it feels good unless you tell us.

Ummmmmm, believe me Plifter....when you offer oral to a woman and she sez, "No, dear, that's ok....you don't have to do that." it is because YOU DID NOT DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

My hunny reads the boards regularly ( AND SO DOES MY EX!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahhahahaaaa :FRlol: :FRlol: :FRlol: :FRlol: ).

Believe me ....when The Hunny is lickin' the kitty or kissing my lips, holding me tightly or just being the goof that he is and making me laugh or reassuring me that everything will be ok when the ex pulls out some new shenanigan from his little bag of tricks to try and fuck me and the girls - I NEVER HESITATE to tell him just how glad I am that he is part of my life! (Conversely if I am upset - I do NOT hold back either. tee-hee)

Signs to look for to KNOW that you are doing a DAMNED FINE JOB at kitty-lickin':

1. Heavy moaning

2. Squeezes your head between her legs so intensely that your eyeballs are about to come flying out of your head (ya'll have seen pics of my legz.....they be pretty strong n' shit).

3. Cooter-Scootch - She actually starts to scootch away because she just can NOT TAKE IT ANY MORE!

4. SCREAMING FOR GOD TO TAKE HER NOW!!!..... Followed by begging and pleading to stop before she dies.

5. Finally, she just lays there in a fetal position with her ENTIRE BODY FLEXED and WRYTHING, her heart pounding as she tries to endure THE MOST INTENSE MULTIPLE ORGASMS SINCE.....well, since THE LAST TIME YOU TOUCHED HER!!!!


Are there any more questions Plifter?...ARE WE CLEAR?!

Dutch - you KNOW I LOVE YOU!:kiss:
 
I don't think Plifter will ever truly be clear on kitty lickin', Bikinimom.

I am glad you have someone to take you to heaven and back. You lucky lucky woman. :)
 
I just love it when women complain about men. Makes me horny...guess that is why I am so horny. About 1/2 the women are not skilled at fellatio and the dick is pretty easy to find.
 
cooter scooch! lmao!!!!!

i've never heard the term cooter scooch before. i always compared it to driving a remote controlled car! it's really fun when you learn how to steer!

oh, and about the falatio thing. guys take charge of that situation. if she's not doing it right then he'll start ramming it down the back of her throat while holding onto her head. don't say you've never done it guys. my tip to the ladies on that is, while you're sucking away and you've got him deep in your mouth, just think of french kissing and start moving that tongue around. i know that always works for me. oh, a little more actual sucking. by just sliding up and down you tend get the teeth a rubbin. and we all know that ain't good.
 
I'll be the first to admit that I don't think that felatio was ever my forte. I didn't ask for it much, so I will be honest, I wasn't all that much into reciprocation. I mean, yes, I would give surprize head while he was driving...but that was loooooong before kids - LOL!...I would also wake him in the middle of the night w/surprize head when I was "in the mood" (that continued till the bitter end) and I wouldn't mind warming him up with it.

However, The Hunny seems to be OK with my skill in this department..... I will ask though, to double check. I know this will sound really strange, but he is truly a gentleman and I don't think he would complain even if I was only "eh" at best. Which isn't fair at all. I want to please him as much as he does me. All he cares about is pleasing me. It has been so long since I have been with a man who put my needs and desires above his own that I must confess, it is foreign to me. But I am in it for the long haul and will do whatever it takes to make him as happy and satisfied as I am! See, I am BEYOND FORTUNATE that he cares so deeply for me.....and that is NO BS, just gospel truth. :)
 
Depends on the chick, but I usually have to take a walkman down there with me to help kill time. With ungroomed chicks, I like to keep an assortment of landscaping tools available to help me locate the final destination.....sometimes a pith helmut & goggles are necessary.

With fat chicks, a snorkel or some type of breathing apparatus is imperative as air supply can be extremely limited. A hydraulic lift can come in handy as well with the rotund, particularly if you find yourself trapped or are considering rolling that beast on her stomach.
 
HamHock said:
Depends on the chick, but I usually have to take a walkman down there with me to help kill time. With ungroomed chicks, I like to keep an assortment of landscaping tools available to help me locate the final destination.....sometimes a pith helmut & goggles are necessary.

With fat chicks, a snorkel or some type of breathing apparatus is imperative as air supply can be extremely limited. A hydraulic lift can come in handy as well with the rotund, particularly if you find yourself trapped or are considering rolling that beast on her stomach.

LMFAO - thanks for the great abs workout ham!! you're a riot. I know i'm gonna be smirkin next time i go clam diggin...
 
BM,
You cant sweet talk me- I'm onto your plan.......I bet that after world domination you'll be genetically engineering men to have 12 inch, all singing, all dancing tongues. And no doubt you'll make em all be 240lb and 6'4" with a 34 inch waist (personally I think anybody looking like that needs to do some heavy squatting....but thats prob just me :))

bikinimom said:

Dutch - you KNOW I LOVE YOU!:kiss:

Slice of Peach2,
Are you trying to say that all women aren't different?? Any man would disagree with you......else we'd pass down instruction manuals to successive male generations. At least you can easily find what you are looking for......so you only have to figure out what to do. We have to find it and figure out what to do.....thats more than most male brains can handle.
 
Just to add my 2 cents.

I lick and finger...also, I spread the lips open to find the CLIT and lick it like I am trying to keep it from falling off. This whole time I am penitrating deep with my fingers. Also, I try and find the soft patch of skin just inside the VAG and I first wiggle my finger slow then fast then slow...I try and find her right speed. I have not had a complaint yet, but I have ahd some of my hair pulled out...is that a good thing...HAHAHAHA!

My only complaint is do not ask us to munch after you have been drinking all night...you probably take about 10 bathroom trips....GROSS.
 
Imnotdutch said:
BM,
Slice of Peach2,
Are you trying to say that all women aren't different?? Any man would disagree with you......else we'd pass down instruction manuals to successive male generations. At least you can easily find what you are looking for......so you only have to figure out what to do. We have to find it and figure out what to do.....thats more than most male brains can handle.

I don't think I said that. :)
 
and you call yourselves ladies!

well this is exactly what i wanted when i started this thread! COMEDY! it's nice to know that men aren't the only ones that can be perverted. wouldn't life be so much easier(and more fun) if everyone was actually this open about sex? keep it going ladies. show us how raunchy you can really be!
 
I believe that Americans (on the whole) are waaaaaaay too uptight about sex and I honestly can not understand it. I mean, didn't we ALL get here the same way? People say that I am "a trip" because I discuss sexuality so openly. There is NO topic that I will not discuss with my daughters. If there is something that they want to know, I TELL THEM. (Of course, I only give them the information -age appropriate- that they need to know.) My hope is that if they are comfortable and see that I am comfortable and honest about this and any other "taboo" topics, then they will not be afraid or embarrassed to come to me with ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS ABOUT ANYTHING.

Maybe I am wrong....but somehow, I doubt it. Think about it. If they do not get accurate information from ME, their primary female role model, then from whom will it come? THEIR LITTLE GIRLFRIENDS?!?!!! OK, I am just SO SURE that the average third grader will be able to give accurate info about issues like sex, birth control, drugs, etc and so on.

REMEMBER PARENTS - if your children do not come TO YOU for such important knowledge.....they will get it from somewhere else. Why would you so willingly yield SUCH POWER to someone else?

(PS - I am very glad to have been born in the US and that I have all of the priviliges and freedoms that come with that. :))
 
This is right....

plifter said:
I'll bet you ladies that are complaining have ever told your man how you like it. When we're licking your twat we have no idea if it feels good unless you tell us.

I know i'm good.....at least I've had many ladies rave about how good I am at it......However, I know the best times are when the woman isn't afraid to speak her mind. Letting me know what feels good will only intesify your experience. Not to mention it turns me on, so the whole experience is better.
 
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