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*~*~*~*After 2 weeks of dating, he tells me he loves me*~*~*~*

jennifer BFL chick

jennifer BFL chick

New member
Didn't know what to tell him. I do like him alot, and I care about him, but LOVE, its kind of hard to go that route right now. He knows I'm dating other guys too---but, he is by far the one I like the best....

Now, every time I see him, he tells me he loves me, and it makes me uncomfortable big time. He gives me cards, flowers, and a "Build a bear", teddy bear which is so cute, but I'm not sure if I want to date him and only him right now. Its very hard for me, because I do like him, but I feel that I need to date. He calls me all the time, and wants to see me EVERY DAY. Its very hard to be upfront with him because I don't want to hurt him.

He tells me he has never felt so strong about anyone, and the only way he can descibe it is with the word love.......

Man o man, what to do! never had a guy tell me he loved me-

I told him that I want to keep dating him and see what happens, but I'm not "with him" right now. It bugs me that hes not dating anyone else because he only wants me, but I'm dating others....

:confused: :confused:
 
Two weeks???

The guy's on clomid, a virgin, or has the mentality of a fifteen year old....get out now!!!

Missed you this winter Jen, was out in SLC snowboarding five times, looked high and low for you...no suck luck, wanted to return the good karma you sent me:)
 
How old is he?

Are you his first serious "girlfriend"? I know that you think it's just dating, but if he hasn't had experience with dating he could fall very easily.

You're being honest with him so you shouldn't feel bad. Maybe you could ask him to cut back on the gifts and all?

Have fun and live your life. You will know when it's love.
 
Jen-

In my last long term relationship it took 6 months for me to tell the girl I loved her. When I told her - I meant it whole hearted. It would take at least 3-4 months to really get to know someone (enough to really love them). Maybe he just needs that verbal affirmation that you care for him since you aren't giving it to him physically?
 
That's way too soon in my opinion. It has to grow over time. To me, this seems more like infatuation since it is this strong this early.
 
The real question here is has he gotten in your pants?

If yes, then he is saying to make sure he continues to get in there.

If no, then he is saying it to get in there.

But at his age which I am guessing is early 20s I don't think this is particularly unusual. More lust, than love, but it is real to him.
 
Give him another 2 weeks and he might change his mind...

;-P just kidding =)
 
OK... I am REAL LIT after calming down from a HYUGE fight w/the someday-2-B ex... I think I will be trapped in marital hell for THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE....

Anyways,

I knew after I dated my ex after two weeks that I loved him and wanted to marry him... I loved him with every fiber of my being until the night my head hit the ground in early 2001... that was four children, a LOT OF TOUGH TIMES and 12 years later.

I was barely 21.

I have only loved one other since (I knew him for MANY months PURELY as friends until we crossed the line so perhaps it was just a bit different) and that wounded me even worse than my marriage as I feel that over the course of my marriage all was fair as we did it to each other... My last lover knew full well what he was doing and DID IT ANYWAY...

C'est la vie! eh?

Now I don't even want to be kissed and I have A FEW grown men "loving" me and wanting "to have a life with me"...

:rolleyes: I give up.....

I agree that I would also be uncomfortable about the guy not wanting to date other girls.. I have told ALL of these guys that I am not looking for Mr Right or even Mr Right Now. And these guys are spending waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more money. I don't feel not one bit guilty.
 
The truth is you never know when its love. I knew i loved my girlfriend from the moment i saw her and told her a couple weeks in, she told me not to use that word. So it took some time and 5 years later here we are still madly in love and the best of friends. It happend when i first hit college and it sucks that i had to meet my future love of my life so soon but looking back i wouldnt trade it for the world. But man it was rough being a athlete and staying loyal to the same chick as my friends screwed with whatever they wanted. Oh well such is life.
 
Frackal said:
Give him another 2 weeks and he might change his mind...

;-P just kidding =)
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L fuckin O L bro
B-mom, do you ever quit ranting? We get it already.
 
Two weeks is a short time to say you're in LOVE, but do as you say, tell him that you want to date other people and you don't want to get serious so early in the relationship. See how it pans out-give him a chance, but if he starts getting jealous and/or possessive then he has self esteem problems and it then would be in your best interests to get rid of him at that point. Just my opinion.........
 
Yea ummm 2 weeks, I think its infatuation because like Pink said, how can he possibly know enough about you in two weeks to truly love you, Ive used it on one person and that took months and I tried to fight it lol, when I say that word I mean it with everything in me

Id ask him how he can love you in so short of time and make him examine things

Dating, bah to that anyways I think I got burned myself this week or maybe she's just real busy like she said she might I dunno I just hate waiting on a stupid phone call :)
 
Have you had sex with him? This is an important question believe it or not.

Two weeks is too soon to tell you in my opinion. Even if he does feel it, he should be smart enough to realize he shouldn't have said it so soon. For one, his feelings could change. Two, he could spook you, which he seems to have. Not a wise decision in my opinion.

Also, it has been my experience that people like this can be dangerous. For example, if he can love you so soon, how long would it take for him to fall in love with someone else? My guess is about the same amount of time.
 
Frackal said:
Give him another 2 weeks and he might change his mind...

;-P just kidding =)
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:lmao:

he was open with you.....do be the same with him but be gentle and firm about it.

tell him that you are very fond of him but you don;t think love is a word you should throw around lightly and should be used only when you really know the person, all the gifts are nice but not necessary. then give him a kiss. unless he;s a complete fag he should be o.k., he must have realised u dont feel mutual by now

just as long as he knows you;re seeing other people......
 
I'm sorry but who's to say how long it takes until you fall in love with someone? I met my girlfriend 4 years ago and for the first 2 weeks we spent most of the day and evening together. I loved being with her and her type of character and her as a person. She was genuine, loving, caring and honest. I was debating whether to tell her i loved her after 2 weeks.

So 1 night we were just lying together, fully clothed, and she turns to me and says that she loves the time we spend together and that she is falling in love with me. 4 years later we are still together and i love her even more as everyday passes. After 6 months of going out i knew her history, family, her likes in music, clothing but why would this influence if i loved her or not. I got to understand the small things about her as time went on but love wise i was hers after a short period of time.

I was also the type to go out all the time, have multiple partners and was about 22 years old. When you find that right person, you just know. Jen, you might not be sure of yourself but he might so be careful and don't go breaking his heart.
 
bigschweeler said:
The real question here is has he gotten in your pants?

If yes, then he is saying to make sure he continues to get in there.

If no, then he is saying it to get in there.

But at his age which I am guessing is early 20s I don't think this is particularly unusual. More lust, than love, but it is real to him.
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I think Schweeler said it best!
 
Sexual Mustard said:


Hehe, if that's the deal then keep ranting! Because I sure as hell won't stop bitching... LOL :D
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It is ALL GOOD my brotha! hehehehehe

All men ARE NOT dogs...

just as

All women are not crazy using hos....
 
Hi Jen. You're probably going to have to bite the bullet & tell him to slow down a little bit. Tell him that you like him & everything but your just not ready to make a committment at this point. Hopefully he'll back off a little & give you some space. Sounds like a nice guy but probably overdoing it just a little. Go easy on him.....
 
wow, that must suck to be loved...

no, wait... what must suck is that he opened up and you havent had the nerve to tell him you dont feel the same... MAYBE he is immature and hasnt been in love before... BUT, you ARE being immature by not putting a stop to things.. dont necessarily stop seeing him, but set him straight before you crush the guy.
 
jennifer said:
Didn't know what to tell him. I do like him alot, and I care about him, but LOVE, its kind of hard to go that route right now. He knows I'm dating other guys too---but, he is by far the one I like the best....

Now, every time I see him, he tells me he loves me, and it makes me uncomfortable big time. He gives me cards, flowers, and a "Build a bear", teddy bear which is so cute, but I'm not sure if I want to date him and only him right now. Its very hard for me, because I do like him, but I feel that I need to date. He calls me all the time, and wants to see me EVERY DAY. Its very hard to be upfront with him because I don't want to hurt him.

He tells me he has never felt so strong about anyone, and the only way he can descibe it is with the word love.......

Man o man, what to do! never had a guy tell me he loved me-

I told him that I want to keep dating him and see what happens, but I'm not "with him" right now. It bugs me that hes not dating anyone else because he only wants me, but I'm dating others....

:confused: :confused:
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This is why you treat them like garbage.
 
Yea guess he really could be in love I just don't get how from what uve posted but its not me, it shim...but yea make sure your upfront about it, heartbreak is about the most god awful Im sick and wanna die feeling there is lol it just sux
 
alright im gonna tell it like it is. Maybe the guy actually feels like he loves you, but chances are he just likes you a lot. If you don't feel the same, then theres nothing you can do, and the longer you're with him, the harder its gonna be on him when you decide you like one of the other guys your dating better.
which leads me to my next point. Its never happened to me, but if i found out the girl i was dating, was dating other people, I'd tell her to go fuck herself that dumb tramp, and leave for good. fuck that! I'm all about playing the field, but if theres someone I wanna date, I dont think its cool at all that i date other people at the same time. This isn't the 5th wheel or the Bachelorette where you start off with 18 guys and work down to one... just find one you like and stick with it. It'll turn into one hell of a better relationship that way.
 
sigweed said:
alright im gonna tell it like it is. Maybe the guy actually feels like he loves you, but chances are he just likes you a lot. If you don't feel the same, then theres nothing you can do, and the longer you're with him, the harder its gonna be on him when you decide you like one of the other guys your dating better.
which leads me to my next point. Its never happened to me, but if i found out the girl i was dating, was dating other people, I'd tell her to go fuck herself that dumb tramp, and leave for good. fuck that! I'm all about playing the field, but if theres someone I wanna date, I dont think its cool at all that i date other people at the same time. This isn't the 5th wheel or the Bachelorette where you start off with 18 guys and work down to one... just find one you like and stick with it. It'll turn into one hell of a better relationship that way.
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Fucking well said
 
I'll be blunt: It doesn't matter if he loves you or not. What matters, is do you love him?

Obviously from your original post, you do not. So you can either drag things out (which is a cowardly thing to do) or put a stop to the relationship. To keep dating him, even tho you "kind of like him" really isn't fair.

Telling him to back off a bit won't work. Love is not only blind, it's stupid too. :) :(

I've never been in love, so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass. :D I dunno..
 
Austin316 said:

Dating, bah to that anyways I think I got burned myself this week or maybe she's just real busy like she said she might I dunno I just hate waiting on a stupid phone call :)
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man, meeting girls right now is just not happening. i wish the hottest chics magically appeared out of nowhere and asked me out. :D
 
Give it to him straight...
If he is a gentleman, he'll be compromising...
Quote: " let love go, if it doesn't come back, then it wasn't love in the first place..."
Never know, life is a strange thing...
 
sigweed said:
alright im gonna tell it like it is. Maybe the guy actually feels like he loves you, but chances are he just likes you a lot. If you don't feel the same, then theres nothing you can do, and the longer you're with him, the harder its gonna be on him when you decide you like one of the other guys your dating better.
which leads me to my next point. Its never happened to me, but if i found out the girl i was dating, was dating other people, I'd tell her to go fuck herself that dumb tramp, and leave for good. fuck that! I'm all about playing the field, but if theres someone I wanna date, I dont think its cool at all that i date other people at the same time. This isn't the 5th wheel or the Bachelorette where you start off with 18 guys and work down to one... just find one you like and stick with it. It'll turn into one hell of a better relationship that way.
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Definitely
 
Girls are evil fucked up bitches who play us nice guys!!!!!! RADAR
 
I see fatal attraction written all over this ordeal. Get out now is my advice.
 
I really do like this guy alot. We have spent almost every day together for the past 2 weeks. I really do care for him alot, but love er, thats so hard for me to say to someone.

By the way, we have not had sex yet either........

I had a talk with him actually just an hour ago, and I told him that it makes me uncomfortable to hear him say he loves me. He said he understood how its weird to use the word love after only 2 weeks, but he says he thinks about me all the time, wants to be with me all the time, can't imagine not being with me so he figures it must be love. I guess only time will tell.....

Thanks for the advice and comments-----I'm still shocked that he claims he loves me.......thats just crazy to me
 
did he say he loved you? or did he say he was in love with you? cuz shit, ive only talked two words with you, and im in love with you. you just gotta realiza that you are a loveable woman.
 
2 weeks!!

I don't think anyone can really love someone in 2 weeks.
He probably really likes you a lot.
And trying to get you to only date him..

But I would be honest with him and let him know you only
want to date him and others..

And if he really loves you he will stick by you untill you
are ready..

But 2 weeks.. :mad: :confused: I say no way!!
 
He must think you're up for some rear entry time in order for him to be saying "I love you" after two weeks.

Is he camping out under your window?

Did he play a Peter Gabriel tune outside your house real loud on his boom box?

Does he Find ways to just show up where ever you are?

Would you be wife no. 23 or 24? I assume you are both Mormons.
 
WODIN said:
He must think you're up for some rear entry time in order for him to be saying "I love you" after two weeks.

Is he camping out under your window?

Did he play a Peter Gabriel tune outside your house real loud on his boom box?

Does he Find ways to just show up where ever you are?

Would you be wife no. 23 or 24? I assume you are both Mormons.
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LOL @WODIN!
 
Jenn if you really like this guy perhaps you should forgoe dating anyone else right now...I mean the point of mult-dating is to pick the best one right? If it doesnt work out with you and this guy you'll always be able to date other guys later on, I wouldnt risk messing this one up
 
Sounds as if you found yourself another Ted Bundy jr. , trust me , i know them psychos.
Good luck, and btw. i have some really cheap kevlar helmets for sale, maybe you want one. ;)
 
how long did it take before you gave the guy from montana some head, and how long did it take before he was laying pipe on you? i bet he didn't say, "I love you." In fact didn't he use you until he got back with his ex. :lmao:
 
You know, i have been following this thread since the start. And i found it somewhat shocking that most people take dating someone so lightly as to date multiple people at the same time and have the dillema of "choosing" which one to take.

Have we lost all ability to work at building relationships?
Have we lost all tolerance for others who are not the perfect fit?
Is there no more effort to be put into the other person?

Guess what. Relationships are meant to take time and a lot of work for 2 people to mesh properly, it's a time for growing personally and spiritually, relationships make you wiser in a way that simple dating around does not.

I find the practice of dating multiple persons to be just wrong and immoral and i am surprised at some peoples reactions of taking it so lightly, when the fact is that you are doing yourself a huge disservice.

I would never date a girl like that. It happened once, and when i heard the "i want to date a lot of guys" talk, i left. I never came back. Saw her years later while at a club with my GF of 4 years and she was still the same, looking all stoned and ravaged by partying not to mention the extra hefty weight on her. But hey she is dating a lot of guys.

People are not like pets, you will not find the perfect one with the perfect manners, so stop looking for instant gratification and WORK at building YOUR perfect relationship you'll be glad you did.
 
A person can love someone after two weeks. To be "in love" with someone is another thing.

I have to agree with everyone else here though. If you really like him and have already spent every day together for the past two weeks, why are you thinking of spending time with other people? Don't lead him on, it'll hurt him more in the end.
 
fellas.....

i respect each and every guy on this thread who doesnt believe in dating more than one person and who wouldnt date someone who was dating other guys as well...


amen!!!

see, we aint the dogs.. they are called bitches for a reason!
 
Have you all taken leave of your senses? WTF?!

You mean to tell me that because I go on a date with a guy ONCE that I am not allowed to spend ANY TIME WITH ANOTHER GUY if I am so inclined?!... that this makes me a whore?!

ARE YOU RETARDED?!

It is called dating for a reason - it is part of the courtship ritual. Until BOTH parties SAY that they want to make it A MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP then what is the problem? If I want to continue to see a guy, then it will because I am really into him - not because HE FEELS that I shouldn't be allowed to meet and socialize with others. That is INCREDIBLY INSECURE!

Maybe I am just not a high maintenance chick. I DO NOT feel the need to see or talk to a guy EVERY FREAKING DAY no matter HOW MUCH I LIKE HIM or how much he likes me. My life is full of all kinds of wonderful commitments and I would hope that his would be as well.

THE SECOND I hear a guy say, "I am the kind of guy that only dates one girl at a time" I all but turn to the guy and say, "DATE OVER." This to me, says that he is needy and insecure. A secure male would be able to realize that either we will continue to see each because WE BOTH WANT IT or just accept the fact that we were not really meant to click and chalk it up to, "I met another interesting person and spent a few hours..."

I am 100% faithful when I commit myself to a man (had ZERO difficulty with this for 13 years!), but I ain't about to rush into JACK SHIT...

And even before I got married I was the same way. I told every guy UP FRONT - "I don't fuck. Do you still want to go out?" If the answer was yes, then I said, "You date who you want to date because I am dating others also. Keep your dick in your pants 'cause you ain't gettin' none anyways. When I want your dick, there will be no questions asked because I will go and get it myself. Just give me the respect of not taking skank hos to the same places that you take me 'cause I ain't no skank ho. We can be great friends, have laughs and if something more develops - GREAT. If not, oh well."

I am trying to figure out how a girl could say that she is dating a few guys, but sees this guy nearly every day for the past two weeks.... When do you have time for work, school, friends, training, whatever?
 
And I just wanted to say that if a woman EVER disrespected me in such a way, what with throwing flaming RAGS at me, I would PERSONALLY shove a plunger up her twat and TEAR out her INTESTINES with my hands.

You see, the NAME of the GAME is RESPECT. How can you love someone else if you don't RESPECT them?

T'is a web of deceit indeed.

To all you folks who think that JUST BECAUSE we are ugly, and perhaps DISFIGURED, that we deserve to be shot with arrows, I have STARTLING news for you.

UGLY people have feelings too.

Sometimes, when I am lonely, I like to get PLASTERED and listen to FOREIGNER.

I want to know what love is.

I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME.

The people living next to me might get ANGRY, but love has no boundaries, so I leap the fence and ram my FIST through their NECKS and CHEW on their INNARDS.

Fool for your loving no more.
 
Not having sex with him or anyone right now.....

For me to have sex with someone, I really have to feel alot for them, and vice versa---of course, at times your physical desires win, but I have only been with 1 guy in 4 years----I'm by far a slut.

I'm totally upfront with every guy I'm dating.....

Dating is fun for me. Its cool to go out with someone and not feel the pressure of making a commitment right then and there---It also makes it alot easier to become friends before anything truly romantic happens......

as for my life right now, I'm out of school for the summer, and I hardly get any sleep---this is how I can have such full social life! lol......

At times, I will go to lunch with one guy, and go to a movie with someone else later that night----I hardly plan out my days, things just come up......

But I spend most of my time with my friends when I'm not working----gotta keep meeting new guys you know! J/k----This is how I met guys. I go out with my friends and I just happen to met people. Its not planned, and I'm not searching to meet anyone. In fact, I don't want a relationship right now with anyone. Maybe in the future.

Just told him today that I'm going on a double date on Sunday------oh he knows the situation.
 
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LOVE AND RESPECT?!

Who THE FUCK said anything about love? THIS IS DATING!! HELLO!!!!!

And as for respect.... if you are TOLD UP FRONT and there IS NO SEX then WHAT THE FUCK?!

Explain to me how that makes me a whore? ARE YOU A PSYCHO?!

IT IS CALLED DATING!.... NOT FUCKING MARRIAGE!

I think that instead of transfering your own feelings of self-loathing onto me, you should just own up to the fact that you are VERY insecure. :D
 
bikinimom said:
LOVE AND RESPECT?!
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The cornerstones of a healthy mind.

I own neither of the two, so I just spout off nonsensical jibberish for my own amusement.

My blood runs cold.

Instead of making love.

Suture dead parts together.

Under mi sensi, bikinimom, mi sensi I say.
 
jennifer said:
In fact, I don't want a relationship right now with anyone. Maybe in the future.

Just told the "love boy" today that I'm going on a double date on Sunday------oh he knows the situation, I think he wants to see if he can "get me", likes its a challenge. Not sure.
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maybe you should tell lover boy this....i.e. spell it out for him you don't want a relationship. you might be un-intentionally restricting people he can see because he's still holding out on you.

stuff like telling him your going out on double dates etc may fall under head games, especially if he still thinks theres a chance of a solid relationship with you





as for love and respect, he just potentially (if he was telling the truth) opened up his heart to her, so he mentioned love.

respect would be informing him of her opinion without emotionally kicking him in the balls. thats all, nothing OTT :)
 
And whores make good wives, so let's get that straight.

If they begin to make a fuss, and you accidentally shank them seven times with a glass shard, nobody cares about their death, so you get off easy.
 
Yeah, I actually told him to date other girls. I WANT him to go out with others girls----

If we really have something special, then other dating other femals won't affect him----and vice versa with me---

I told him last night and today, that I don't want a relationship, but I want to keep seeing him----if he can't handle that, then hes free to move on. I'm totally honest with him. He knew on our first date that I was dating a bunch of people and that I just got out of a relationship and wanted to be single for while. So, I'm not decieving him at all......
 
sk* said:


Yea ok, I am insecure ... you caught me. :rolleyes:

Lemme guess, you kiss them and give them blow jobs on those "dates" and still there is no sex involved?

This doesn't have to do with me or me being insecure :rolleyes: , it is about RESPECT!!!

If you can't show respect then you aren't even human.
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Have you read ANYTHING that I've typed these past few weeks? Obviously not! Because I said I do NOT EVEN KISS! There is NEVER a second date... because if I am not interested then I do NOT yank a man's chain!

Where do you get the notion that these men get blowjobs? Oh - because you said it then it MUST be true, because there could NEVER be a woman who could POSSIBLY ACTUALLY respect herself enough to say - I DON'T FUCK and actually MEAN IT.

Did you read the part about how I was faithfull to ONE MAN for 13 years?! Oh, I guess not.

See we are ALL disrespectful whores..... no, you are not insecure AT ALL. :rolleyes:
 
jennifer said:


For me to have sex with someone, I really have to feel alot for them, and vice versa---of course, at times your physical desires win, but I have only been with 1 guy in 4 years----I'm by far a slut.
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How many guys have you blown in the past 4 years or done anal? :D Just want to get the facts straight.
 
jennifer said:
Not having sex with him or anyone right now.....

For me to have sex with someone, I really have to feel alot for them, and vice versa---of course, at times your physical desires win, but I have only been with 1 guy in 4 years----I'm by far a slut.

I'm totally upfront with every guy I'm dating.....

Dating is fun for me. Its cool to go out with someone and not feel the pressure of making a commitment right then and there---It also makes it alot easier to become friends before anything truly romantic happens......

as for my life right now, I'm out of school for the summer, and I hardly get any sleep---this is how I can have such full social life! lol......

At times, I will go to lunch with one guy, and go to a movie with someone else later that night----I hardly plan out my days, things just come up......

But I spend most of my time with my friends when I'm not working----gotta keep meeting new guys you know! J/k----This is how I met guys. I go out with my friends and I just happen to met people. Its not planned, and I'm not searching to meet anyone. In fact, I don't want a relationship right now with anyone. Maybe in the future.

Just told the "love boy" today that I'm going on a double date on Sunday------oh he knows the situation, I think he wants to see if he can "get me", likes its a challenge. Not sure.
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If the love boy knows your situation he doesnt need a play by play of what dates you are going on and when. If you are such a challenge, he would not open himself up and become vulnerable by saying he loves you, not how the game works when you are trying to get someone. Sounds like you are now fucking with his head to see what he will do. Shame on you.
 
seems fair enough. just hope he doesnt take this as a 'girl acting aloof and unattainable/hard to get' :D
 
BM---some people seem to think dating = sex because thats what they do.....

But not me. In fact, theres one guy I have been dating for about a month, and we have only hugged! :) how cute is that
 
Jenn, you're what, 23?

You are just experiencing life, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that. I know when I was that age, I would not limit myself to dating just one girl unless I was serious about her.

You are upfront and honest with them, so I don't understand why anyone should have a problem with it.
 
jennifer said:

I'm not part of any religion
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thumb.asp
 
jennifer said:
BM---some people seem to think dating = sex because thats what they do.....

But not me. In fact, theres one guy I have been dating for about a month, and we have only hugged! :) how cute is that
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Not cute at all...

When he gets home after seeing you he goes to bed and imagines you nekkid.. he imagines your tits are wobblin and your pussy is pulsating.. he measures cocky with his ruler and he tugs one off. He cums on the carpet.

Cute!:p
 
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It boggles my mind!

Men (boys) are so fucking funny....

They bitch and moan about how they don't want to pay for dates because it is "too old fashioned", call a girl a whore is SHE CHOOSES TOO FUCK HIM and leave him hanging, and DON'T BELEIVE that there are women who actually respect themselves enough to get to know a man BEFORE she fucks him.....

A MAN doesn't have these problems.

I have and do date more than enough. Believe it or not - NO ONE of these guys has paid MORE for a date than I have for gas/tolls... or in MY PRECIOUS TIME. See, I could be sleeping instead of being bored my some simpleton whe feels that he is entitled to TRY and maul me because he bought me A DRINK!

THE REAL MEN that I choose to continue a relationship with will peel out WHATEVER in order to have the pleasure of my company knowing FULL WELL that they AIN'T GETTIN' PUSSY....

Oh yea, the last guy who I gave my love to?.... We were PURE FRIENDS FOR MONTHS! We would talk about every topic under the sun FOR HOURS - EXCEPT SEX BETWEEN US - NOT EVEN A MENTION, NOT A SINGLE INNUENDO!.... then once I did sleep with him though HE TOLD ME TO DATE OTHERS (as I wanted him to) I was so smitten with him that I feel deeply in love... GUESS WHAT? He was a single dad of three young children....was kind and gentle, EXTREMELY BRIGHT, had a heart of gold and loved by all that met him. He didn't have a fucking pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of; lived on a fucking farm with no formal education, and yet, I love him still.... I drove 5-6 hours EACH WAY to see him... and he REFUSED to allow me to pay for a thing! I often sent him home baked treats, and other little gifts.... brought little gifts for his kids when I went to visit...

Yea - I am a REAL FUCKING WHORE... :rolleyes:
 
sk* said:

If the "date" was only as friends then it is different, but I hardly doubt this was the case for jen or you.
Click to expand...

Did you read the part in my post where I said, "We can laugh, hang out and be GREAT FRIENDS.... if something more develops then great, if not...."

How can you fall in love with ANYONE unless you are THEIR FRIEND FIRST?!

As for the meal? I can COOK MY FUCKING OWN - I HAVE FOUR KIDS!

I don't NEED a man to pay for my meal or anything else for that matter.... ALL MEN KNOW THIS UP FRONT!

....So you were saying?
 
If I was really into the guy and he told me he wanted to date other girls, then I'd most likely not date him anymore...I mean if I like him after a few dates more than likely I'll just start developing feelings for him, and if he's going to be juggling me with other chicks, then he doesn't deserve my attention...

I know if I'm not really into a person if they tell me they're dating other girls and I really don't care...it just depends on your intentions with the guy you're dating...
 
big4life said:
Jenn, you're what, 23?

You are just experiencing life, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that. I know when I was that age, I would not limit myself to dating just one girl unless I was serious about her.

You are upfront and honest with them, so I don't understand why anyone should have a problem with it.
Click to expand...

Thankyou! :)

Yes, I'm 23, and I'm not ready to settle down with anyone right now. I want to have fun and experience new people before I tie the knot.....

I see nothing wrong with what I'm doing because I'm upfront about it, and I have never lead any one on. I really like this guy, and yeah, I have told him this, but he also knows that I have desires to date others. Like I said above, if he or any of the guys I'm dating don't like the situation, they can leave. But I do see a future with Jimmy---the "love boy"----but only time will tell
 
jennifer said:


Thankyou! :)

Yes, I'm 23, and I'm not ready to settle down with anyone right now. I want to have fun and experience new people before I tie the knot.....

I see nothing wrong with what I'm doing because I'm upfront about it, and I have never lead any one on. I really like this guy, and yeah, I have told him this, but he also knows that I have desires to date others. Like I said above, if he or any of the guys I'm dating don't like the situation, they can leave. But I do see a future with Jimmy---the "love boy"----but only time will tell
Click to expand...

It could be that the guy is using normal man-strategies.. i.e. tell chick you lover her in order to get laid. It could also be possible that he is a psycho; after all, it just ain't possible to love someone after 2 weeks. Sure tell him your intention to see others; just don't be suprised iff he begins stalking you..

I'll tune in to Jerry Springer to see what happens.....
 
just another thing about dating more than one person at a time...


it turns dating into a sort of competition... at least thats how i see it. its like i'm expected to one up the other guys... FUCK THAT! its bad enough that guys already feel the need to "impress" a female, but throw in that extra guy or two and thats a like a challenge.
 
and jen.. i know we have never spoken so i dont know you... but just by some of the comments you have made on this thread about "love boy" it seems there is a lack of respect for him.
 
jennifer said:

Yes, I'm 23, and I'm not ready to settle down with anyone right now. I want to have fun and experience new people before I tie the knot.....
Click to expand...

Translation:


"Yes i am 23, i used to be fat and insecure but now i am thinner and have newly found self esteem because suddenly white men are interested in me. I want to experience new people (fuck my brains out before settling down), yes i would like to have my cake and eat it too."

Yes you are a typical insecure girl, fearing that she will miss out on life somehow. Oh yeah, i fail to see how a relationship with the right person is viewed as boring, shit you can have a boyfriend and be best friends doing everything together and having a great time.
 
and for bikinimom,


HOE, you need therapy, BAD!!! You have more hangups then anyone i have read here. The attitude you present here about relationships shows your degraded mental state and it's time for you to heal!

You silly woman (girl)
 
gwl9dta4 said:
and for bikinimom,


You have more hangups then anyone i have read here
(girl)
Click to expand...

i dunno, i got some hang ups... but ya, bm you've changed a little in the last 2 years... you are quite anti relationshippy... i'd bet when a guy asks you out he is thinking about a second date before the first... he has intentions.... see, females need to understand that if a guy wants a friend, or to just hang out (for real)... HE IS GONNA HANG WITH ANOTHER GUY!!!!

50 percent of the time a guy would rather hang out with another guy than a girl.... that number raises to 99.9 percent if he KNOWS sex or a relationship is out of the question... i would NEVER hang with a female for friendship.... BORING!
 
bikinimom said:


Did you read the part in my post where I said, "We can laugh, hang out and be GREAT FRIENDS.... if something more develops then great, if not...."

How can you fall in love with ANYONE unless you are THEIR FRIEND FIRST?!

As for the meal? I can COOK MY FUCKING OWN - I HAVE FOUR KIDS!

I don't NEED a man to pay for my meal or anything else for that matter.... ALL MEN KNOW THIS UP FRONT!

....So you were saying?
Click to expand...

BINGO!!!! YOU SAID FRIENDS. I'm pretty sure the terminology is you date someone you are interested in but you go out with friends. If you are going out (as in outside the home) and doing things like supper, movie, walks, talks, shopping.. then you are not dating but just friends and if the guy ends up paying that's like making one of your female friends constantly pay for things. I'm sure you don't split bills and go dutch when with a man.

Actually, try telling the guy when you go out with him...Ok well i'm willing to date you and even might considering being exclusive with you but for now i only want to be friends...no sex, no nothing...if the guy stays he's an idiot. Call it a relationship, pull out the whip because this guys in for it.

Personally i wouldn't know what hit me if you told me that. Pretty scary actually.
 
gwl9dta4 & sk*, damn you guys need to chill out a little bit.

I mean no disrespect, but don't you think your a little outdated in your thinking? This isn't the 1950's.

By your rational, people should just skip the dating process alltogether and go straight into a relationship. Um, where's the logic in that?

Say for example, some cute girl asked you to dinner -- so you go out, have fun, etc (nothing sexual). The next day, another cute girl asks you to see a movie -- so you go out, have fun, etc (nothing sexual). What's the harm in that?

Oh, and I agree that the man should pay for the first date. For successive dates tho, the girl should pick up some of the tab. I don't know about you, but the girls I date (although it's been a while) have jobs and can take care of themselves -- they don't need me for a free meal.
 
I totally agree with some of you on here.... I think it's dissapointing that you let these guys pay for your dates Jenn. Your comments about my (previous) anger towards women leads me to believe you consider yourself a modern woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It's easy to date a lot of guys when you can mooch off them and they pay for everything. I notice you had no problem accepting the gifts he's given to you even though like madbomber said you don't come across, on here at least, as having much respect for him. I consider you to be a decent person, that at least is the impression I have gathered from you on this board.

You are not doing the wrong thing 100%, but you are leading this fellow on no matter what you tell him, especially by accepting his advances. The poor guy is probably still naive as to the way of women, the indecisiveness, the belief that they are never at fault, the way the feel guys do not have strong emotions therefore it is ok to toy with them....

You remember my disgust about women threads that you did not like so much? Well this is one example of the behavior I find detestful.

If you like this guy, then you need to be a big girl and make a DECISION about whether or not you wish to continue seeing him, and stop accepting his gifts and start paying for dates like a woman who believes in equality should.

This was somewhat harsh but I think it had to be said. I KNOW that you are a good person so I just think you need a little urging to do the right thing... =)
 
gwl9dta4 said:


Translation:


"Yes i am 23, i used to be fat and insecure but now i am thinner and have newly found self esteem because suddenly white men are interested in me. I want to experience new people (fuck my brains out before settling down), yes i would like to have my cake and eat it too."

Yes you are a typical insecure girl, fearing that she will miss out on life somehow. Oh yeah, i fail to see how a relationship with the right person is viewed as boring, shit you can have a boyfriend and be best friends doing everything together and having a great time.
Click to expand...





I was never "fat", and definitely not insecure when it came to dating. I've been dating since I was 13. Again, I have only been with one guy sexually in 4 years, I have no desire to sleep around.

Anyhow, I have no disrespect for Jimmy simply because I'm doing what I was doing before I met him. He choose to use the word love, that doesn't mean I have to drop everything else in my life because of how he feels-----what about how I feel? I like him, want to keep seeing him, but I'm not ready to commit to him--nothing wrong with that. who knows, in a couple of weeks he might not be interested anyhow.

Who said relationships were boring? I never said that.

So many people get into a relationship simply because they want the perks of it, but then they cheat on the person they are with because they truly don't feel content---and of course, they won't admit it to their mate-----this is totally uncool, and I have never done anything like this. These people are the ones who are insecure. I have the chance of losing every guy I'm dating to another girl because were not commited, but you know what? I'm confident enough to know that If someone really likes me, then I can't be replaced that easy. Plus, most of the guys I'm dating its so casual we are practically just friends. If you have never "dated" before, then you won't understand.
 
Guess what? MY FRIENDS (male and female alike) KNOW that money is VERY TIGHT FOR ME, so YES - GENERALLY I CAN NOT PAY.... BUT I do do what I can for them... ie I bake and cook for them.

I try and lend a supportive ear and help them in NON-MONETARY ways when I CAN.... WHY? Because that is what friends DO.

Did all you psychos read the part where I said there IS NO SECOND DATE IF I AM NOT INTERESTED AS I AM NOT INTO YANKING A GUY'S CHAIN?!

If I am dating a man who is very well off financially why should I be expected to pay for a date that I could not possibly afford? BUT HE WANTS THE PLEASURE OF MY COMPANY AND WOULD LIKE TO GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO KNOW ME... If the feeling is mutual then I try to give him little gifts - they have no real monetary value, but show that I am thinking of him and am definitely interested. When is the last time a girl made home made, decorated Christmas tree ornaments and gave them as a gift to you? No REAL monetary value, but I gave of myself.

So you were saying?

I am not anti-relationshippy AT ALL....

I just have very little time to spend on such things. My time is an EXTREMELY precious commodity. If a man can not even pay for a date without feeling he is entitled to SEX or ANY OTHER PHYSICAL DISPLAY OF AFFECTION because he bought me a fucking meal, then guess what? HE AIN'T WORTH MY PRECIOUS TIME.

.....but I am the one with issues? :rolleyes:

PUH-LEASE.
 
please discontinue the relentless banter, go enjoy your lives, regret nothing and never question things just go with the flow and let your feelings guide you to what is right.
 
I don't understand a lot of you people.:confused:

What is she doing wrong? It's called dating, that's the process where you find out if someone is "the one".

What's wrong with them paying? I find that whoever asks someone out, generally pays for the date.

As far as guys feeling like they are competing with each other, that says more about their insecurities than it does about Jenn's.
 
You make some good points jenn, but I think it still stands that the decent thing to do here is at least make a decision, or if you want to keep seeing him fine, but I dont think its really appropriate to accept gifts or let the guys pay for your dates..if you are casually dating ('pratically just friends') casual means YOU split the costs ... this guy may genuinely have strong feelings for you already, and yes you've been up front with him, but if you accept his advances without being sure of what you wish to do, it's just leading him on....
 
Frackal said:
I totally agree with some of you on here.... I think it's dissapointing that you let these guys pay for your dates Jenn. Your comments about my (previous) anger towards women leads me to believe you consider yourself a modern woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It's easy to date a lot of guys when you can mooch off them and they pay for everything. I notice you had no problem accepting the gifts he's given to you even though like madbomber said you don't come across, on here at least, as having much respect for him. I consider you to be a decent person, that at least is the impression I have gathered from you on this board.

You are not doing the wrong thing 100%, but you are leading this fellow on no matter what you tell him, especially by accepting his advances. The poor guy is probably still naive as to the way of women, the indecisiveness, the belief that they are never at fault, the way the feel guys do not have strong emotions therefore it is ok to toy with them....

You remember my disgust about women threads that you did not like so much? Well this is one example of the behavior I find detestful.

If you like this guy, then you need to be a big girl and make a DECISION about whether or not you wish to continue seeing him, and stop accepting his gifts and start paying for dates like a woman who believes in equality should.

This was somewhat harsh but I think it had to be said. I KNOW that you are a good person so I just think you need a little urging to do the right thing... =)
Click to expand...




I don't see how I'm leading him on at all. I really do like him, I honestly do. I would never spend so much time with one person if I didn't. But that doesn't mean that he has to be my boyfriend right now. We can enjoy each other without that title. who ever said I have the guys pay for all the dates? I never said anything remotely like that on this thread or any thread for that matter.

You know frack, you should try dating people instead of jumping into a relationship, that way you wouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve when an "ok" girl comes around
 
big4life said:
I don't understand a lot of you people.:confused:

What is she doing wrong? It's called dating, that's the process where you find out if someone is "the one".

What's wrong with them paying? I find that whoever asks someone out, generally pays for the date.

As far as guys feeling like they are competing with each other, that says more about their insecurities than it does about Jenn's.
Click to expand...

WORD!

I guess you must be a whore too. tee-hee
 
big4life said:
How old is he?

Are you his first serious "girlfriend"? I know that you think it's just dating, but if he hasn't had experience with dating he could fall very easily.

You're being honest with him so you shouldn't feel bad. Maybe you could ask him to cut back on the gifts and all?

Have fun and live your life. You will know when it's love.
Click to expand...

He is actually 2 years younger then me----hes 21. He has dated alot of girls, and has had serious relationships before, so I feel he could actually know what he's talking about which is awesome yet freaky at the same time.....

I love his gifts! he puts so much thought into them, I feel really lucky actually to have someone so thoughtful and sweet
 
Give him a break he doesn't know you well enough to love you but saying that is the only way he can quantify how strong his feelings are for you if a girl said that to me after too weeks of dating i'd be over the moon but it aint gonna happen as i'm an ugly pig
 
sk* said:

It's about fucking morals, and I have my morals.

1. I would never let a girl pay for a date no matter what.
2. I only date one girl at a time.

MORALS!!!! RESPECT!!!! I am only 19years old and I already have them, you are much older than me (based on your screen name) yet you seem to lack them.

/B]
Click to expand...


No disrespect to either of you.
What I see going on between SK and B-Mom is simply the natural difference in the world view of a teenager and a 30 year old.
Teenagers and 20-somethings start out with so many idealistic "rules" and are quick to judge. Everybody would like to see the world in black&white, it would make life so much simpler.
Over time, experience teaches that all those rules aren't so true and don't matter so much, the world so lite grey/dk grey, and you develop different/other rules that you then try out till they no longer work...and so on and so on...
Both of you are at different points in a long process unfolding, and should give each other some slack!
People around here throw the "ho" and "slut" words around way to easily.
 
Last edited:
John you are correct... what I don't understand is how someone who is so "moral" can have the word "ho" and "slut" roll off of his tongue as if it were "good morning".

The worst I said of someone who had these points of view was that they were insecure - which they OBVIOUSLY ARE.

Odd though, the MEN that had points of view that were similar to mine WERE NOT CALLED WHORE, SLUT OR SKANK. Hmmmmmm

I can agree to disagree. If a man (or boy - sorry, 19 IS A BOY)wants to date only one girl at a time then that is his perogative. I did NOT condemn that. I only said that this was not in alignment with my thinking. This is no way, shape, or form implies that my way is the only way - IT IS NOT.

I have succeeded to blow this young man's arguements about how I am a whore, user, deceitful - WHATEVER out of the water with INTELLIGENT discourse. The only replies that I recieved is how HE is MORAL and I AM A SLUT.

Okay - He ain't insecure AT ALL. :rolleyes:

And what does who pays for a date or how many people you date at a time have to do with morals? What are we here?... Holy Rollers? PUH-LEASE!

May I ask if the author who subscribes to this reasoning has EVER engaged in FORNICATION?! :D
 
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