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Being 'in love' for the first time

renee1980

New member
yes its awkward being in love for the first time when you are in your 30's as I am. :rose:

when was the first time you were really in love? did it last? did you marry that person?
 
in love as in 'in love'

if you don't know what i'm talking about then you have never felt it. its different than anything trust me. I think most of us have and never will feel it. I guess I am one of the few lucky ones!!

now I just have to figure out how to hold onto him, he is the first guy that I ever felt was perfect in every way. I have him now and I'm never letting him go
 
^^^^^ lolol..cynic

but troo

infatuation...biochemical response....breed..then POOF
 
^^^^^ lolol..cynic

but troo

infatuation...biochemical response....breed..then POOF

Buahaha I wanted to make a comment like this but I thought this isn't c&c don't be like that, but thx ladies for making it easier to say this:

Infatuation, the wonderful giggly butterfly feeling, thinking of them night and day, we all get it at some point, no one's love is less or more than others, It's a subjective feeling.

That being said, OP sounds a bit clingy with the whole "hold on to him/never letting go" men aren't always as intense as women are, if you come out to strong he might feel smothered, you shouldn't have to plan or force anything.

It sounds pretty lame but love really is like a butterfly, if you hold on to it carelessly it slips away if you hold on to it too tight you will crush it

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OP is a creepy alter
She's made a couple of pretty intense threads so far, the valentine's one, the how soon to get serious one, now this one... But dont worry, I'm sure she'll chalk it all up to us being a bunch of jealous losers. ;)
 
She's made a couple of pretty intense threads so far, the valentine's one, the how soon to get serious one, now this one... But dont worry, I'm sure she'll chalk it all up to us being a bunch of jealous losers. ;)

Yes, I'm sure "she" thinks we are all jealous of "her", her "man" and her "life" ;)
 
Only been in true love once...I was 17, since then there's been no one that has come close to comparing. You learn as you go that you'll never love two people the same...its possible to love again of course...but it's tough getting over the first, that's for sure.

Oh, and it didn't last. We ended up having to part ways and haven't spoken in over a year. lol
 
We did the on/off for over 6 years, majority of that time was spent with me chasing... Even went on when we were both in relationships, always found ourselves back where we started with each other

I feel you on not being able to speak...that's why we don't either. I simply said that there are certain people put in your life to be your friend...and I feel with every fiber of my being that this particular person was not.

Phew. That'll be all...thank you Oprah, lol
 
I'm still in contact with my first love, I had to move away so we broke up and when I moved back he was with someone, he was with her for almost 10 years so we never got a second chance, when I first came back I tried to fight for him, and I find myself in a position in which I was going to get him back but guilt over him cheating didn't let me do it... He reached out to me the day he broke up with her but I was already married :( he was and is so special to me that I still keep contact and talk to him, I rather have him in my life then out.
 
My second love experience was awful, he turned out to be jealous, possessive, controlling, violent, it took every fiber in my body to leave him, it was highly traumatic, he stalked me afterwards, to this day I sometimes have nightmares involving him, it has decreased since I moved to a different country though.
My third love story was short and sweet, I was blind sided by him dumping me.... via messenger :mad: fuck was I mad, he tried to pull the "lets take a break card" I stupidly gave it to him, a month later he still wasnt talking to me so I asked him to meet me so we could break up face to face, when he came he immediately regretted it but I was too hurt to carry on, couple of weeks later a met a new guy, when we were dating my ex begged for me to take him back and I wanted to but the new guy was a nice guy and I already knew my ex had been a dick once, I wouldnt let him be a dick twice and break my heart despite me still having feelings for him.... the new guy turned out to be my now husband!!! :heart: (maybe I should have tried the ex again ;) :lmao: just kidding)
 
Your ex stalked you? Holy cow sorry to hear that. In what way were you stalked? I think stalking is seriously one of the more sinister things a human being can do to another. Sucks.
 
Your ex stalked you? Holy cow sorry to hear that. In what way were you stalked? I think stalking is seriously one of the more sinister things a human being can do to another. Sucks.

Drove by my house, constantly called/texted, lurked my favorite restaurants, 2 yrs after breaking up.his gf called me and told me he broke into my voicemail and checked it daily

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I've loved before. I eventually got over them all once I cut contact.

I've never loved like I do now, though, but then again, I've never been in a relationship like this either. He's not my first love, but he's definitely my forever love. It sounds so cliche but he's my other half. We complete and compliment each other beyond any other relationship I've ever been in by far. He's my world.
 
Your ex stalked you? Holy cow sorry to hear that. In what way were you stalked? I think stalking is seriously one of the more sinister things a human being can do to another. Sucks.

I totally agree. I'm going through this now and it's horrible. When I get through it, I'm going to become an advocate I think to change the laws because they are horrible up here!!

Nan...how long did it take for it to end? Did you have to do something legally?
 
I've loved before. I eventually got over them all once I cut contact.

I've never loved like I do now, though, but then again, I've never been in a relationship like this either. He's not my first love, but he's definitely my forever love. It sounds so cliche but he's my other half. We complete and compliment each other beyond any other relationship I've ever been in by far. He's my world.

I think it's so neat to hear your story. It gives me hope and I'm really happy for you. :)
 
He doesn't really post anymore. :)

We "met" here, but our relationship didn't develop through here at all. We really barely spoke here.
 
I totally agree. I'm going through this now and it's horrible. When I get through it, I'm going to become an advocate I think to change the laws because they are horrible up here!!

Nan...how long did it take for it to end? Did you have to do something legally?
No legal action, it was in Costa Rica and they have shit laws. There was a news scandal over a CR woman who went to put like the 14th protection order to her ex cuz he kept violating it, breaking into her house, destroying her property, beating her up, the bitch taking her request told her "maybe we should give you a frequent flyer card" what an insensitive worthless human :mad:

He full on stalked me for almost 2 months after break up until I told him to Fuck off, I literally got to yell, vent, insult his ass, felt so good to finally let all those years of anger out, I even lost about 30 pounds after I dumped him, that's how relaxed and stress free I was.

I was informed he still checked my voicemail over 2 years after break up :worried: creepiest thing was I had already gone through 2 boyfriends and lived with one of them, I can almost picture him listening to my now husband's voicemails, creepy, specially since they're in English, he hated when I spoke English :( demeaned me for it :(

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At the risk of sounding jaded, I don't really believe in love anymore. I think 'falling in like' is perfectly fine. lol But, falling in love scares me. I have given my heart away, only to be made a fool of. So...to me, I'd rather just fly solo, and have fun. Much safer! lol :D

But, to you OP...I do have best wishes for you. If you have found love...and he loves you back...then, I hope it works out.

Maybe everyone's mileage varies differently, when it comes to this.
 
At the risk of sounding jaded, I don't really believe in love anymore. I think 'falling in like' is perfectly fine. lol But, falling in love scares me. I have given my heart away, only to be made a fool of. So...to me, I'd rather just fly solo, and have fun. Much safer! lol :D

But, to you OP...I do have best wishes for you. If you have found love...and he loves you back...then, I hope it works out.

Maybe everyone's mileage varies differently, when it comes to this.

After my last break up I felt the way you are feeling now, decided I was done with relationships for a while and I'd just pounce on men when needed ;)

There was this cute guy where I worked part time who I wanted to "hit and quit" lololol he turned out to be a nice guy who wanted to take it slow and know me, I didn't want that but he seemed nice, we're married now! :lmao:

It hits you when you least expect it Wegs :D
 
At the risk of sounding jaded, I don't really believe in love anymore. I think 'falling in like' is perfectly fine. lol But, falling in love scares me. I have given my heart away, only to be made a fool of. So...to me, I'd rather just fly solo, and have fun. Much safer! lol :D

But, to you OP...I do have best wishes for you. If you have found love...and he loves you back...then, I hope it works out.

Maybe everyone's mileage varies differently, when it comes to this.

It's easy to have that attitude when a relationship ends and youre hurting.
But, there's only two ways a relationship can go, you get married/long term partnership, or you break up. No point in dwelling on the past.
Everyone wants to be loved and to love.
When you find that special person it's totally worth all the past shit ;-)
 
All you ladies are NUTS :D love is just a chemical feeling you get when you meet someone new....eventually it fades and you need to start over again. People who are together for so many years are not truly in "love" with each other but more of in love with the comfortability of each other. I know you all want to believe in "love" but it doesn't exist. Its a made up metaphor by Hallmark to sell cards. :)

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It's easy to have that attitude when a relationship ends and youre hurting.
But, there's only two ways a relationship can go, you get married/long term partnership, or you break up. No point in dwelling on the past.
Everyone wants to be loved and to love.
When you find that special person it's totally worth all the past shit ;-)


This makes sense.
But...Do you think we all need love, though? Like 'need' it? Idk. I'm fine without it for now. haha
 
All you ladies are NUTS :D love is just a chemical feeling you get when you meet someone new....eventually it fades and you need to start over again. People who are together for so many years are not truly in "love" with each other but more of in love with the comfortability of each other. I know you all want to believe in "love" but it doesn't exist. Its a made up metaphor by Hallmark to sell cards. :)

Sent from my DROID RAZR using EliteFitness

Bullshit. I'm almost a year in now (not that that's the longest amount of time ever or anything) but we're even more in love, and cute to each other and attracted to each other now than we were a year ago. Our "new relationship" feeling just keeps getting better and better.

Cindy can testify. She knows all about it.

And who knows wegs, maybe you'll meet the love of your life on here like I did. Lol :heart:
 
Bullshit. I'm almost a year in now (not that that's the longest amount of time ever or anything) but we're even more in love, and cute to each other and attracted to each other now than we were a year ago. Our "new relationship" feeling just keeps getting better and better.

Cindy can testify. She knows all about it.

And who knows wegs, maybe you'll meet the love of your life on here like I did. Lol :heart:

aw, this is a sweet story. it gives me hope lol :D:heart:
 
All you ladies are NUTS :D love is just a chemical feeling you get when you meet someone new....eventually it fades and you need to start over again. People who are together for so many years are not truly in "love" with each other but more of in love with the comfortability of each other. I know you all want to believe in "love" but it doesn't exist. Its a made up metaphor by Hallmark to sell cards. :)

Sent from my DROID RAZR using EliteFitness
The whole "love" concept is pretty overrated, being in a relationship sometimes takes work, you need to learn to compromise, win some and lose some, be there when things are good and when shit hits the fan too, it's a commitment, I can't say I feel the same chemical reaction I did for my husband, every now and then I'll have that "stomach butterflies" feeling but it does go away, you are right, I still enjoy his company, think he's hot and would do him in a heart beat, he's there most of the time I need him and he's supportive in his own way even though sometimes I don't get it, I don't like it or don't appreciate it, we don't act and think the same way, you have to find a balance.

Find a partner that's "in it" for the long haul, that's about it. Can I go find a new guy and get those lovey dovey feelings again? Of course, but that too shall fade and they might turn out to be assholes, so why change something good I have going on for that?
 
By the way, you men really need to get the fuck out of this section, can't you read? Men aren't allowed to post here :mad:
 
Bullshit. I'm almost a year in now (not that that's the longest amount of time ever or anything) but we're even more in love, and cute to each other and attracted to each other now than we were a year ago. Our "new relationship" feeling just keeps getting better and better.

Cindy can testify. She knows all about it.

And who knows wegs, maybe you'll meet the love of your life on here like I did. Lol :heart:

This is true! :D
 
All you ladies are NUTS :D love is just a chemical feeling you get when you meet someone new....eventually it fades and you need to start over again. People who are together for so many years are not truly in "love" with each other but more of in love with the comfortability of each other. I know you all want to believe in "love" but it doesn't exist. Its a made up metaphor by Hallmark to sell cards. :)

Sent from my DROID RAZR using EliteFitness

Wrong. You're dead wrong. Love exists. This is tragic that people think that love doesn't exist anymore (usually men). Love, real love is not what you are describing, like a hallmark card could even begin to explain such a mystery. Love is like a hurricane or a bolt of lightening. Love is the connection between to people that creates more energy than they could create on their own. It's like a fire. It's a mystery like life, death, evil and the soul. Look around you. Love is everywhere you look and you say it doesn't exist? Love created the big bang. It's the flower as it leans towards the sun, the moon and the sun, the earth and the moon, positive and negative charges, the love between humans and their friendship towards animals. It's what causes someone to give their life for another. Its all around us how can you miss it? Take a look around because you can't give what you don't have any more than you can teach yourself what you don't know. It's what makes sex an ocean you can swim in rather than a glass two people drink from until it's dry. Wake up.
 
Cindy Lou? That is beautiful what u posted. I've been hurt a lot and recently and this helped me see that maybe I just need time to heal. Thanks for posting something so thoughtful.
 
This makes sense.
But...Do you think we all need love, though? Like 'need' it? Idk. I'm fine without it for now. haha

I really do think people need it. Imagine the world without love?
However, I do think it's possible to go through parts of life without having that special person, like you are doing now. It just makes you appreciate it even more when you find love.
 
All you ladies are NUTS :D love is just a chemical feeling you get when you meet someone new....eventually it fades and you need to start over again. People who are together for so many years are not truly in "love" with each other but more of in love with the comfortability of each other. I know you all want to believe in "love" but it doesn't exist. Its a made up metaphor by Hallmark to sell cards. :)

Sent from my DROID RAZR using EliteFitness

I feel sorry for you.
I've been with my guy for 4 years, I love him more every day. No matter what kind of bull shit were going through or have been through I know we'll make it because of love and the fact we've committed our lives to each other.
 
I really do think people need it. Imagine the world without love?
However, I do think it's possible to go through parts of life without having that special person, like you are doing now. It just makes you appreciate it even more when you find love.

I wanted to add that it doesnt necessarily have to love in the sense of a man/woman relationship. It could be the love you have for your dog, the love for a child, or even a best friend. TRUE love comes in all forms :-)
 
Wrong. You're dead wrong. Love exists. This is tragic that people think that love doesn't exist anymore (usually men). Love, real love is not what you are describing, like a hallmark card could even begin to explain such a mystery. Love is like a hurricane or a bolt of lightening. Love is the connection between to people that creates more energy than they could create on their own. It's like a fire. It's a mystery like life, death, evil and the soul. Look around you. Love is everywhere you look and you say it doesn't exist? Love created the big bang. It's the flower as it leans towards the sun, the moon and the sun, the earth and the moon, positive and negative charges, the love between humans and their friendship towards animals. It's what causes someone to give their life for another. Its all around us how can you miss it? Take a look around because you can't give what you don't have any more than you can teach yourself what you don't know. It's what makes sex an ocean you can swim in rather than a glass two people drink from until it's dry. Wake up.

Awww that was beautiful!
 
I though I was in love twice but they were jerks!!!
3rd bf I just wanted him as a friend and little by little I was in love with him and who he was. We have two girls. It gets hard at times but we never let each other go. Love comes to you without you even trying to look for it. It's a natural thing that just happens. When you are really in love you don't have the need to prove anything to anyone or show off your life style , your partner or even the way he is or treats you, when you have a good perfect thing that is true and honest you do anything to shelter it and protect it.
Just a honest advice
 
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