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i puked and dueced in my backyard last night

binö

binö

Rob of Redford
Platinum
good times.
woke up at 12ish feeling hella sick...i hate puking but i knew it was inevitable.
went in the bathroom and was gonna get started when i saw a pubic hair on the toliet bowl.
fuking grossed me out, no way was i gonna put my face near that...so i ran out side and let if fly...it was deep and full bodied, entire body was shook up...laid down in the grass, then i felt the rumble of a backdoor entry coming strong...i'd never make it back in side so lying on my side i took a disgusting dump, and meanwhile i continued to puke.
my gf opened the porch door and the dogs came running out, trying to lick me and see what was up...i rolled around to get away from them and yep, rolled in my waste.
fuck bros i feel like shit
discuss
 
binö said:
good times.
woke up at 12ish feeling hella sick...i hate puking but i knew it was inevitable.
went in the bathroom and was gonna get started when i saw a pubic hair on the toliet bowl.
fuking grossed me out, no way was i gonna put my face near that...so i ran out side and let if fly...it was deep and full bodied, entire body was shook up...laid down in the grass, then i felt the rumble of a backdoor entry coming strong...i'd never make it back in side so lying on my side i took a disgusting dump, and meanwhile i continued to puke.
my gf opened the porch door and the dogs came running out, trying to lick me and see what was up...i rolled around to get away from them and yep, rolled in my waste.
fuck bros i feel like shit
discuss
Click to expand...

As long as u don't still smell like shit I guess , sounds like a rough night, get well
 
What the hell did you eat?

Drink gatoraid. It makes puke not burn as much in your nose and throat.
 
just...v said:
What the hell did you eat?

Drink gatoraid. It makes puke not burn as much in your nose and throat.
Click to expand...

i ate some chicken for dinner...when i smelled the leftovers this AM it made my stomach curl not sure if i can ever eat garlic chicken again.
pretty sure it's the stomach flu, my boy had it and it's going around.
i feel truely horrible, felt fine yesterday
 
both ends at the same time? That must have been a good workout using all those muscles at once.
 
so did you have to shamefully walk back up on to the porch and into the house past your gf covered in your own puke and feces? This is truly a shameful story bino, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself.

























:lmao:
 
redsamurai said:
so did you have to shamefully walk back up on to the porch and into the house past your gf covered in your own puke and feces? This is truly a shameful story bino, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself.


lmao:
Click to expand...

too ill to feel any sort of shame, i have never felt that fuct up before.
all my clothes went in the trash, not even gonna attempt to clean them...being that sick made me think about montezuma's revenge and other cases of military bros getting dysentry, that would fuking suck to be on the march and feel like this.
least i have a home
 
nah i don't think any neighbors saw...it was pretty dark and i got a pretty high fence all around my house....still feel like shit i've only eaten 3-4 popsicles today
 
so while you were on the ground did you just pull your pants down and shit fetal style? good lord man...your g/f saw that and didn't pack up and leave in the morning? you gotta keeper there mate, lock that one up. Especially if she sexually engages with you even in the slightest within the next week or so. Infact now might be a good time to test her. If she can have that visual fresh in her mind and still suck you like she's mad at it, then it's ring time. :lmao:
 
binö said:
nah i don't think any neighbors saw...it was pretty dark and i got a pretty high fence all around my house....still feel like shit i've only eaten 3-4 popsicles today
Click to expand...

I was sick like that for 2 days a couple weeks ago. Throwing up and shitting every 5 minutes, I couldn't even drink water and keep it down. Hopefully you have what only lasts a couple days. Well that's good, at least only the gf saw you.
 
redsamurai said:
so while you were on the ground did you just pull your pants down and shit fetal style? good lord man...your g/f saw that and didn't pack up and leave in the morning? you gotta keeper there mate, lock that one up. Especially if she sexually engages with you even in the slightest within the next week or so. Infact now might be a good time to test her. If she can have that visual fresh in her mind and still suck you like she's mad at it, then it's ring time. :lmao:
Click to expand...

yea lol fetal style dump, not the most opportune technique but it felt so good to lay down i was drained...and GF i don't think actually saw much, it was dark and she was standing in the porch doorway...she def knew something terrible happened, cause i walked back inside nekkid and immediately took a shower.
like i said bro, their coulda been a stadium full of peeps watching and i wouldn't have noticed i felt that terrible
 
binö said:
good times.
woke up at 12ish feeling hella sick...i hate puking but i knew it was inevitable.
went in the bathroom and was gonna get started when i saw a pubic hair on the toliet bowl.
fuking grossed me out, no way was i gonna put my face near that...so i ran out side and let if fly...it was deep and full bodied, entire body was shook up...laid down in the grass, then i felt the rumble of a backdoor entry coming strong...i'd never make it back in side so lying on my side i took a disgusting dump, and meanwhile i continued to puke.
my gf opened the porch door and the dogs came running out, trying to lick me and see what was up...i rolled around to get away from them and yep, rolled in my waste.
fuck bros i feel like shit
discuss
Click to expand...

I love that story.
 
So,

Bino told me to tell everyone that he has to puke again....apparently his gag reflex aint what it once was.....


either that or he ran out of numbing spray
 
bigbassturd said:
Richter told me to ask you who the fuck you think you are
Click to expand...

Wow.....12 out of 13 words are monosyllabic.

Monosyllabic means "one syllable" - you know...in case you left your Funk and Wagnall's Thesaurus wedged in that reamed out wind tunnel you call a sphincter. If so, jump up and down one your left foot....you will find it.

Sincerely,


The guy who knows who the fuck he is.

Check your pm
 
guesswhoisback said:
Wow.....12 out of 13 words are monosyllabic.

Monosyllabic means "one syllable" - you know...in case you left your Funk and Wagnall's Thesaurus wedged in that reamed out wind tunnel you call a sphincter. If so, jump up and down one your left foot....you will find it.

Sincerely,


The guy who knows who the fuck he is.

Check your pm
Click to expand...

I'm glad you know how to use google dip shit
 
guesswhoisback said:
Wow.....12 out of 13 words are monosyllabic.

Monosyllabic means "one syllable" - you know...in case you left your Funk and Wagnall's Thesaurus wedged in that reamed out wind tunnel you call a sphincter. If so, jump up and down one your left foot....you will find it.

Sincerely,


The guy who knows who the fuck he is.

Check your pm
Click to expand...

On*

and I checked my PMs, couldn't find anything except a link to some guy's M4M POF profile....

Sent from my SCH-I500 using EliteFitness
 
binö said:
yea lol fetal style dump, not the most opportune technique but it felt so good to lay down i was drained...and GF i don't think actually saw much, it was dark and she was standing in the porch doorway...she def knew something terrible happened, cause i walked back inside nekkid and immediately took a shower.
like i said bro, their coulda been a stadium full of peeps watching and i wouldn't have noticed i felt that terrible
Click to expand...


utterly disgraceful. LMAO, glad your doing better.
 
One time I sneezed while having a dip in and I was trying to hold the sneeze cuz of the dip and my sneeze was like "nah nigga I'm coming out u either orally or straight out ya crusty azz"

The sneeze won and I doodoo'd all over.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk 2
 
Fuck this sucks! I had this bs last Christmas. Me and my wife at the same time. We were 600 miles away from our house. Shitting and puking. I feel your pain bro. I remembered drinking water then yacking that shit didn't feel too bad.
 
overgreen said:
Fuck this sucks! I had this bs last Christmas. Me and my wife at the same time. We were 600 miles away from our house. Shitting and puking. I feel your pain bro. I remembered drinking water then yacking that shit didn't feel too bad.
Click to expand...

yea man i was blessed to be at my house and to be off of work for the week, that would suck if i was traveling...to be in public like this would be a major suck.

i've proly lost 5-8 lbs these last few days, not eating anything really...you think this sorta weight loss is easily put back on once my diet get's back to normal?
 
binö said:
yea man i was blessed to be at my house and to be off of work for the week, that would suck if i was traveling...to be in public like this would be a major suck.

i've proly lost 5-8 lbs these last few days, not eating anything really...you think this sorta weight loss is easily put back on once my diet get's back to normal?
Click to expand...

Probably mostly water weight.
 
sorry to hear Bino, I got a weird bug too, last week, woke up to puke at like 1am :(
Feel better!

Sent from my VM670 using EliteFitness
 
-SD- said:
Theres gotta be a cycle suited for this problem
Pukebolan plus Deucedrol
Click to expand...

day 1-3
-oral immodium 30mgs
-baby wipes
-injectable pedalyte
-jello 3-5 servings

pct day 4-7
-sus 1 gram per
-gh as much as i can afford
-buckets of tren
 
binö said:
day 1-3
-oral immodium 30mgs
-baby wipes
-injectable pedalyte
-jello 3-5 servings

pct day 4-7
-sus 1 gram per
-gh as much as i can afford
-buckets of tren
Click to expand...

Make sure the Sauce is a gram per day, none of that weakass gram a week shit
Dont forget the cheque drops rob
 
Halo and cheque drops

Wash them down with tren


Then go drive in heavy traffic

Sent from my SCH-I500 using EliteFitness
 
Fitguy308 said:
Three words Your A Homo
Click to expand...


Dude.....It's just toooooo easy......

Where do I start?

Hmmm...getting K bombed by someone with a NEGATIVE 700k is just the DEFINITION of irony, which I am sure is lost on you.

So let me try the second point: "your" implies possession, as in "YOUR" head is so far up "your" ass that I am just going to refer to you going forward as CRI- Cranial Rectal Inversion."

Whereas, "You're" or "you are" is a declaration, non possessive, as in "You're (or you are) missing "your"(see how I demonstrated the difference there?) pole session down at Chico's Cock Shop, so chop chop your momma needs some dolla dolla bills to get her off the soup line."


Either way, I am sure you are confused, so for your benefit:

How to Use You're and Your, with Examples - wikiHow

....you know the best part?

At the end of the day, I am still me, and you are still......you.

So, my linguistically challenged little cretin...wait - let me help you with THAT as well:

Cretin | Define Cretin at Dictionary.com


You didn't get get Owned or Pwned or even Qwned....you got Zwned.
 
guesswhoisback said:
Dude.....It's just toooooo easy......

Where do I start?

Hmmm...getting K bombed by someone with a NEGATIVE 700k is just the DEFINITION of irony, which I am sure is lost on you.

So let me try the second point: "your" implies possession, as in "YOUR" head is so far up "your" ass that I am just going to refer to you going forward as CRI- Cranial Rectal Inversion."

Whereas, "You're" or "you are" is a declaration, non possessive, as in "You're (or you are) missing "your"(see how I demonstrated the difference there?) pole session down at Chico's Cock Shop, so chop chop your momma needs some dolla dolla bills to get her off the soup line."


Either way, I am sure you are confused, so for your benefit:

How to Use You're and Your, with Examples - wikiHow

....you know the best part?

At the end of the day, I am still me, and you are still......you.

So, my linguistically challenged little cretin...wait - let me help you with THAT as well:

Cretin | Define Cretin at Dictionary.com


You didn't get get Owned or Pwned or even Qwned....you got Zwned.
Click to expand...

I'm glad you took the time to write all that shit out that I didn't even half of so go sit on a large black veiny cock and slowly rotate around on it until you piss blood you dirty tampon
 
I need to hose my smokin' porch off. I just puked on it. Damn stale cigar mixed with a stong ass imperial porter.
 
WoodyO said:
Living in NY you should be drinking six points brewing brewery sweet action every day.
Click to expand...

Being that I don't have any and it's 930 at night here my options are limited to whatever the gas station down the road has I need to do a run for some good beer
 
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