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so I'm in the hog house...

shirlene29

shirlene29

I am BATMAN!
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went out last night solo
wound up running into co-worker guy that husband doesn't like and got blasted with him and did a lil bar hoppin with him

refused to answer the phone when hubby called while I was out...was home before the bar closed
was NOT up to no good..behaved fine..just had drinks with a friend and hung out with some new peeps
everyone was pretty fun..and I literally go out by myself for a cpl of hrs like twice a yr...so it doesn't take much to entertain me

came home...things were mostly smoothed over before I fell asleep cuz hubby was awake waiting for me (doh)
got woken up at 6 am by husband flipping out on me cuz he went through my phone and saw a txt message I didn't know was on there that said "be safe" cuz I drove my car home after shutting myself off at midnight and drinking like 9 pints of water.


am I in the wrong here bros?
discuss

p.s. "standing bow" in the middle of a crowded bar as a self sobriety test turns out rather interestingly
 
shirlene29 said:
went out last night solo
wound up running into co-worker guy that husband doesn't like and got blasted with him and did a lil bar hoppin with him

refused to answer the phone when hubby called while I was out...was home before the bar closed
was NOT up to no good..behaved fine..just had drinks with a friend and hung out with some new peeps
everyone was pretty fun..and I literally go out by myself for a cpl of hrs like twice a yr...so it doesn't take much to entertain me

came home...things were mostly smoothed over before I fell asleep cuz hubby was awake waiting for me (doh)
got woken up at 6 am by husband flipping out on me cuz he went through my phone and saw a txt message I didn't know was on there that said "be safe" cuz I drove my car home after shutting myself off at midnight and drinking like 9 pints of water.


am I in the wrong here bros?
discuss

p.s. "standing bow" in the middle of a crowded bar as a self sobriety test turns out rather interestingly
Click to expand...
He was pissed cause you didn't answer the phone.
Jealous people take that as "up to no good".

The phone talk could've prevented most of the angst.
 
nice


I didn't answer the phone because I told him I'd be home 2-ish and I was
and the phone calls from him always escalates things


yeah...Im a dickhead..I already apologized a hundred times
:(
 
Yhea ur wrong :) you should have taken his call and this would never happen.. But going trough your phone, thats pretty bad really :) hes prolly cheating on you :/
 
actually he'll call...and then proceed to call every 5 minutes until I come home .
Thisis whats he's done in the literally 5 times (this got counted up by him and he lost steam) that I've gone out with out him in almost 8 years
 
shirlene29 said:
nice


I didn't answer the phone because I told him I'd be home 2-ish and I was
and the phone calls from him always escalates things


yeah...Im a dickhead..I already apologized a hundred times
:(
Click to expand...

you're knot a dickhead...butt, that doesn't mean that i wouldn't get pissed anyway...i AM a dickhead :lmao:
 
shirlene29 said:
actually he'll call...and then proceed to call every 5 minutes until I come home .
Thisis whats he's done in the literally 5 times (this got counted up by him and he lost steam) that I've gone out with out him in almost 8 years
Click to expand...
This sucks.
I'd go crazy too
Insecurity projects itself to distrust.
 
shirlene29 said:
actually he'll call...and then proceed to call every 5 minutes until I come home .
Thisis whats he's done in the literally 5 times (this got counted up by him and he lost steam) that I've gone out with out him in almost 8 years
Click to expand...

omg...i hate the telephone...i call once, i leave no message and maybe i follow up with one text...that's it...regardless of who i am trying to get in contact with or why.
 
digimon7068 said:
i must confess...i wood be too. however, i woodn't have done the go-through-the-phone-messages thing on my wife's phone...that thing belongs to her...and i'm just knot that insecure.
Click to expand...

I'd be more pissed about the hanging with the dude I didn't like.

Why doesn't he like the guy, shirl?
 
he cant give me any valid reason....says the guy is "my type" and hes not in the "i wanna hit it sense" but hes a lot like quite a few of my friends
dudes a decently dressed, fun, well read..geek frankly
 
shirlene29 said:
actually he'll call...and then proceed to call every 5 minutes until I come home .
Thisis whats he's done in the literally 5 times (this got counted up by him and he lost steam) that I've gone out with out him in almost 8 years
Click to expand...

That sucks bigtime. Im sry for you! And hes prolly cheating!
 
zwhit said:
I'd be more pissed about the hanging with the dude I didn't like.

Why doesn't he like the guy, shirl?
Click to expand...

yeah you need to respect him not wanting you to get drunk with some dude that you sound attracted to.

he does sound insecure though. when my wife goes out with her gf's, i seriously don't call at all. i trust her completely and let her have fun. if she needs something she will call. i guess i figure too, if she is going to cheat, no way i can stop it. so i just never worry about it and love her and trust her. but i married a lady who is extrememly loyal too, so i win :qt:
 
how does that read I'm attracted to the guy?

all my IRL friends are male...I've slept with absolutely none of them
I seriously have one chick friend and thats always a couples thing cuz her and I get along and her husband and my husband get along
 
i don't know, i am sorry maybe you're knot, only you know

keep in mind what else i posted, i did say he sounds insecure and should settle down with phone calls and leave you alone when you go out
 
yeah I caught it..and yeah...he's insecure as all hell and it makes me a little mental

as far as being attracted to the co-worker..no
I think the dudes fun as hell and has been an excellent friend to me...but hes seriously like 6'4" and 160 lbs..not my sexy scene at all
 
sounds like it's time for you to set hubby straight. tell him how fucking annoying it is when you dont leave him alone. if i did that to my wife, or she did that to me - neither of us would be ok with it. we never married each other to feel like we are now owned by the other, we still have freedom to do our own thing.
 
thats why I didn't answer the phone...because I had made it very clear that I was going out, when I'd be home, and that unless there was an emergency I did not want to be contacted and that I wouldn't be tolerating him pushing me around about it

because its not like he's suddenly doing this...this has been an ongoing theme
when he met me I went out every weekend...and uhh...as you'll read in a previous post how much I've cut back on it to appease him
well frankly...I'd like some compromise back because I'm getting a helluva lot o resentful with being micromanaged

I also refuse to be told who I can and can not be friends with
 
Maybe I am weird but I really have no desire to go out without my wife. She is my best friend and I have a blast with her when we go out on the town or just a weekend working in the yard.
 
shirlene29 said:
thats why I didn't answer the phone...because I had made it very clear that I was going out, when I'd be home, and that unless there was an emergency I did not want to be contacted and that I wouldn't be tolerating him pushing me around about it

because its not like he's suddenly doing this...this has been an ongoing theme
when he met me I went out every weekend...and uhh...as you'll read in a previous post how much I've cut back on it to appease him
well frankly...I'd like some compromise back because I'm getting a helluva lot o resentful with being micromanaged

I also refuse to be told who I can and can not be friends with
Click to expand...

well i have to agree with you except for bold. you do have to be careful. i wouldn't want my wife hanging out with a bunch of guys all the time. but i went into a marriage with somoene and that was already understood. just like i don't go hang out with chics by my self. but we made that understood before.

I do feel like it's a problem that your hubby is trying to control you like that. i dont blame you for not answering your phone. he needs to back off, and make it clear things aren't going to keep working if he doesn't.
 
shirlene29 said:
thats why I didn't answer the phone...because I had made it very clear that I was going out, when I'd be home, and that unless there was an emergency I did not want to be contacted and that I wouldn't be tolerating him pushing me around about it

because its not like he's suddenly doing this...this has been an ongoing theme
when he met me I went out every weekend...and uhh...as you'll read in a previous post how much I've cut back on it to appease him
well frankly...I'd like some compromise back because I'm getting a helluva lot o resentful with being micromanaged

I also refuse to be told who I can and can not be friends with
Click to expand...

my wife is like this,you get tired of this crap quickly, I guess the only difference is he will fuck you,so you have no reason to cheat.

still blows
 
shirlene29 said:
went out last night solo
wound up running into co-worker guy that husband doesn't like and got blasted with him and did a lil bar hoppin with him

refused to answer the phone when hubby called while I was out...was home before the bar closed
was NOT up to no good..behaved fine..just had drinks with a friend and hung out with some new peeps
everyone was pretty fun..and I literally go out by myself for a cpl of hrs like twice a yr...so it doesn't take much to entertain me

came home...things were mostly smoothed over before I fell asleep cuz hubby was awake waiting for me (doh)
got woken up at 6 am by husband flipping out on me cuz he went through my phone and saw a txt message I didn't know was on there that said "be safe" cuz I drove my car home after shutting myself off at midnight and drinking like 9 pints of water.


am I in the wrong here bros?
discuss

p.s. "standing bow" in the middle of a crowded bar as a self sobriety test turns out rather interestingly
Click to expand...

who pays the phone bill???
 
A little jealousy is okay; its better than total apathy

Too much is just unattractive

I don't know how jealous your husband is on a regular basis

I was never a jealous person; I still don't think I am but an unanswered phone call that is never returned...no text... brings up weird feelings now. Like...a pain in the pit of my stomach, like I starting thinking about ending it right away. I see both sides because I think too much jealousy can push you away more but I know I couldn't handle being with someone that primarily hung out with women because I don't know how much I could tolerate controlling whatever jealousy might come up...idk?

Hope you're not in the doghouse anymore
 
shirlene29 said:
thats why I didn't answer the phone...because I had made it very clear that I was going out, when I'd be home, and that unless there was an emergency I did not want to be contacted and that I wouldn't be tolerating him pushing me around about it

because its not like he's suddenly doing this...this has been an ongoing theme
when he met me I went out every weekend...and uhh...as you'll read in a previous post how much I've cut back on it to appease him
well frankly...I'd like some compromise back because I'm getting a helluva lot o resentful with being micromanaged

I also refuse to be told who I can and can not be friends with
Click to expand...
You engaged in a social contract; Abide by the terms or break it. A marriage has never been about love...it's about mutual advantage like every business relationship.

"As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women. "

-De Toqueville
 
ya I'm not

and if he hung out with all women when I met him and he continued to do that, I'd have to accept it as his thing
well...thats how its gone...Ive had all male friends pretty much my entire life
a lot of them have become friends with Greg
this particular guy hes irrational about and hes never given me a good reason

his own brother has told him he's nuts with the jealousy..so idk
and I dont hang out with a bunch of guys all the time....Ive literally been out 5 times in 8 yrs without my husband..one of those times was with his brother, once with a female coworker/friend and the rest of the time with the afore mentioned male bestie that my husband is 100% fine with cuz the guy is like my brother (been friends with the guy for 16 years)
 
javaguru said:
You engaged in a social contract; Abide by the terms or break it. A marriage has never been about love...it's about mutual advantage like every business relationship.

"As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women. "

-De Toqueville
Click to expand...


stop trolling wife beater
 
javaguru said:
You engaged in a social contract; Abide by the terms or Get the shit Choked out of you In My Opinion. A marriage has never been about love...it's about mutual advantage like every business relationship.

"As for myself, I do not hesitate to beat the hell out of a Woman, when I have the advantage "

-JavaGuru
Click to expand...
Booooo On YOU giving marriage advice.
 
shirlene29 said:
stop trolling wife beater
Click to expand...

I've never laid a hand on a date, girlfriend, wife or any female in my family. I've been married once and her assessment was that I was the kindest person she ever knew....

Stop getting your propaganda from people off their meds.

Finally, I'm giving you good advice...I know that I'm not the marrying type because I have always had one foot out the door;If you're lusting after some random guy then you have a bad marriage...Even at the worst times no woman could tempt me away from Shelagh.
 
underattack said:
Yhea ur wrong :) you should have taken his call and this would never happen.. But going trough your phone, thats pretty bad really :) hes prolly cheating on you :/
Click to expand...
If that happened in my house it would be the husband in the dog house, A. for being a clingy bitch while you said you're going out, no need to interrupt or annoy you when you go out, if anything he could have textedm and B. for going through your phone, WTF kind of ridiculous BS is that :mad:
HOWEVER, hubby and I have a very different independent dynamic that most people dont have, when I used to be in tech support I'd go out with a group of all men on my own and arrive home at 4a.m. and he wouldnt say dick, he'd just send me a text before going to bed reminding me to call him if I needed a ride. In your case it seems that it's "your thing" in the sense that you dont even go out anymore, which is kind bad, standing your ground and going back to going out is going to cost some aggravation, just hang in there, still the phone search was uncalled for, he's not your parent.
 
I was defending womahood...You're a serial marrying type...

I'm just sayin...
"As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women. "

-De Toqueville
 
underattack said:
Yhea ur wrong :) you should have taken his call and this would never happen.. But going trough your phone, thats pretty bad really :) hes prolly cheating on you :/
Click to expand...

No.

If I tell a boyfriend or whatever I'm going somewhere and will be done at whatever time, I won't accept phone calls until then. There's no reason. You know I'm busy. Picking up a call at that time is enabling.

Call me past that time and I'll pick up no problem, because that's when I told you I'd be done.

There should be no need to check up on someone. If there were, we'd need to break up. Of course, I'm not married so in Shirlz case that doesn't apply.
 
I dont think you were wrong though, Shirlz.

Men can hang out with women and vice versa. My best guy friend is married. We only hang out alone, once and a while around my friends (like twice a year maybe), never around his and never with his wife. We were friends for years before he got married, and he's been with the girl since we met on and off...but I didn't meet her til the wedding!.... and I waited til I was drunk. Lol

She'd try to meet me, I'm sure bc she was jealous or suspicious that we hang out alone for years and shed never met me. But every time he'd invite me somewhere shed be, I'd pass bc I feel no need help her jealousy.

I guess it sounds shady but me and him have never done a thing with each other. Occasionally we talk about sex but we've never even kissed so no big deal. His wifey deals, or at least I've never heard she has a big problem with it. That's how it should be. People can be friends. If your husband has a problem with it, it's his problem IMO.

I wouldn't stop being friends with someone for someone else, especially since he has no valid reason. I'd reconsider if he had a reason worth hearing out.
 
AFeedz said:
No.

If I tell a boyfriend or whatever I'm going somewhere and will be done at whatever time, I won't accept phone calls until then. There's no reason. You know I'm busy. Picking up a call at that time is enabling.

Call me past that time and I'll pick up no problem, because that's when I told you I'd be done.

There should be no need to check up on someone. If there were, we'd need to break up. Of course, I'm not married so in Shirlz case that doesn't apply.
Click to expand...

i agree with afeedz on this one

well my wife and i have been married for five years. I mean, I will call her while she is out even if it's in her time of said being out. but it's not like i check in on her, i would only call if i needed something. but i guess neither of us are trying to prove something or are the jelous type.

both myself and my wife could get away with an affair prety easily we are that trusting. i never care what she does

but again, when i married Melissa I never went into it thinking i control her now. we are still two individuals. if she wants to do something and i am home and not working, be my guest and do it.
 
all the horny posts...sayin hubby's hot until he opens his mouth and ruins it...poastin semi-nude pics...going out/hangin with other dudes...if the situation was reversed...?

gzus id fukn love to see shirlz phataz swallowin a thong
 
EarthRider said:
i agree with afeedz on this one

well my wife and i have been married for five years. I mean, I will call her while she is out even if it's in her time of said being out. but it's not like i check in on her, i would only call if i needed something. but i guess neither of us are trying to prove something or are the jelous type.

both myself and my wife could get away with an affair prety easily we are that trusting. i never care what she does

but again, when i married Melissa I never went into it thinking i control her now. we are still two individuals. if she wants to do something and i am home and not working, be my guest and do it.
Click to expand...

Would your wife go out to the bar and get drunk with dudes you dont like, without you?
 
smurf2 said:
Would your wife go out to the bar and get drunk with dudes you dont like, without you?
Click to expand...

no she wouldn't

that is the one thing i did say i feel sheryl screwed up. it does sound like she did it before she married him though. Nothing against shiryl, but i wouldn't have married melissa if she was wanting to go party with dudes at the bar. i don't care if she hangs out with her gf's though. i don't feel it's right to marry someone and then expect them to change for you after
 
If you're married you should prolly pick up the call. Imo but I'm not married and never have been

Dating? Leave me alone cuz its my time with my guys and if u think I'm slaying some strange then kick rocks and I will score some strange without the accusations
 
thing is smurf...if he didn't refuse to do it...I would gladly hang out with the dude WITH GREG..that I ran in to btw and didn't intentionally go out with.
Its not like I have anything to hide and wouldn't care
he has hung out with me and other co-workers that he doesn't have a problem with and everyone has had a good time
he's dropped into work to say hi, bring me a coffee or have lunch with me at work (he works three miles up the road) and has talked to everyone there. They all think hes a good guy and go out of their way to chat him up.
if the guy he hated made a pass at me..I wouldn't be friends with him anymore. But he's irrational about it so I won't just drop a friend because he doesn't like the way the guy looks.




anyway, we talked about it at length yesterday and both made some concessions...will something flair up in the future? probably but I've made a lot of compromises in my behavior over the years and rarely take a stand on something. To me this a slippery slop I won't concede.
Things have been fine after we've talked.
 
I think that is good Shirl. Sounds like his jealousy is his problem and its about him, not you. If you change your behavior too much I don't think its going to stop because its not really about what you do, its more about him. If you rarely go out he needs to chill, imo and just sweat it out every once in awhile, for your sake.
 
and i also think if going out is important to you, you should start doing it more often. you only live once and should enjoy life
 
Look at all the circumstances surrounding this situation -- forget the specifics of male/female or the fact that it's Shirl (who I personally really like):

1) Married couple with "ups and downs" relationship
2) One spouse decides to go out to a bar specifically to drink and socialize (it's not like it's to entertain a customer)
3) Declares they won't be home till late (2am is late in my book)
4) Person going out is using AAS that A) Can interrupt a person's sense of attachment and B) Dramatically increase libido
5) Person going out is hanging-out with someone the spouse doesn't like specifically for possible compatibility reasons
6) Alcohol consumption is at least great enough to delay drive home
7) Person going out doesn't answer phone calls
8) Innocuous "be safe" text on person going out's cell phone the next day.

Now if we're only dealing with 1, 2, 4 or even 5 of these circumstances, it may be paranoia. But all eight?

And here's a question specifically for the ladies:

1) Picture your man.
2) Now give him a healthy dose of gear. Enough to make him edgy and really horny.
3) Now picture your arch rival. That bitch you keep coming across who doesn't like you and would screw your guy just to make a point to you.
4) Now place your guy with your arch rival at a bar with lots of alcohol involved.

Are you going to at least call him or text him, or can they do shots and have fun till 2:00am?
 
i would agree lunk, but it sounds like he is always freaking out on her
 
And P.S.

Guy texts "be safe" to a drunk girl on her way home

Translation:

"It's not too late to text me that you're too drunk to drive. At that point I will meet up with you, play knight in white armor for about 15 minutes, and then either take you back to my place or nail you in the back seat of my car. But either way, if you text me back I'll do my dead-level best to fuck you. Enjoy!"
 
EarthRider said:
i would agree lunk, but it sounds like he is always freaking out on her
Click to expand...

Oh, blowing up her phone or going through her texts is unacceptable as well. But you can't justify bad behavior with more bad behavior.

The thing that jumps out at me is that if he's willing to get that bent out of shape over her going out, then he should also be willing to go out with her in the first place. That solves the whole problem.
 
mrplunkey said:
Look at all the circumstances surrounding this situation -- forget the specifics of male/female or the fact that it's Shirl (who I personally really like):

1) Married couple with "ups and downs" relationship
2) One spouse decides to go out to a bar specifically to drink and socialize (it's not like it's to entertain a customer)
3) Declares they won't be home till late (2am is late in my book)
4) Person going out is using AAS that A) Can interrupt a person's sense of attachment and B) Dramatically increase libido
5) Person going out is hanging-out with someone the spouse doesn't like specifically for possible compatibility reasons
6) Alcohol consumption is at least great enough to delay drive home
7) Person going out doesn't answer phone calls
8) Innocuous "be safe" text on person going out's cell phone the next day.

Now if we're only dealing with 1, 2, 4 or even 5 of these circumstances, it may be paranoia. But all eight?

And here's a question specifically for the ladies:

1) Picture your man.
2) Now give him a healthy dose of gear. Enough to make him edgy and really horny.
3) Now picture your arch rival. That bitch you keep coming across who doesn't like you and would screw your guy just to make a point to you.
4) Now place your guy with your arch rival at a bar with lots of alcohol involved.

Are you going to at least call him or text him, or can they do shots and have fun till 2:00am?
Click to expand...

The whole idea of the man I love freaking out with jealousy at home would make me miserable BUT sometimes jealousy pisses me off. It depends on how he approaches her with the jealousy. If he's accusing her of cheating etc then its not going to end well. If he's just miserable in a hurt way, I would be putty in his hands and there wouldn't be any way I wouldn't be checking in with texts, at the very least letting him know I was thinking about him. If you're an asshole and accuse me of cheating then fvck you, be miserable. Lol! It's not right but its the first reaction. Lol.

I don't do guy friends either and typically won't be with someone long term that would have a lot of female friends or is a flirt etc. I don't run into these situations.
 
I read your post wrong plunkey...fug. I'm not with it today. I'm "off my meds" today.

If my man goes out with my arch rival its over. I couldn't do it. I would definitely be calling or texting/moving out.

Lol.
 
mrplunkey said:
And P.S.

Guy texts "be safe" to a drunk girl on her way home

Translation:

"It's not too late to text me that you're too drunk to drive. At that point I will meet up with you, play knight in white armor for about 15 minutes, and then either take you back to my place or nail you in the back seat of my car. But either way, if you text me back I'll do my dead-level best to fuck you. Enjoy!"
Click to expand...

LOL this is exactly the way my best male friend would break it down to me almost word for word.

=mrplunkey said:
Oh, blowing up her phone or going through her texts is unacceptable as well. But you can't justify bad behavior with more bad behavior.
The thing that jumps out at me is that if he's willing to get that bent out of shape over her going out, then he should also be willing to go out with her in the first place. That solves the whole problem.
Click to expand...

Agreed

Shirl glad you guys talked it out did you have makeup sexuals yet? :verygood:

If so details please ... if not get on it woman.:evil:
 
And the genius of a "be safe" text that you didn't respond to gives him a perfect reason to check on you today.

I'll bet he's made some sort of attempt at follow-up contact with her and if he hasn't, he will before noon tomorrow.
 
mrplunkey said:
And the genius of a "be safe" text that you didn't respond to gives him a perfect reason to check on you today.

I'll bet he's made some sort of attempt at follow-up contact with her and if he hasn't, he will before noon tomorrow.
Click to expand...
You should start a betting poll on this...or their potential divorce. :)

Did someone do the "he's cheating on you" thing yet?

And send the hubby some red panties. I wonder what that girl is up to nowadays.
 
you are the only person that can make this right, you are the only person that can make him trust you... you are the only person that he's empowered to hurt him...

did you??
 
WHat plunk said

As a married woman its just not a good idea to go out painting the town red with other guys, much less with someone your husband hates.
 
I'm actually incredibly chill about shit as long as I'm not lied to.

I'll concede AAS is a wild card.
Blowing up my phone is actually the part that pissed me off.
Answering the phone would have escalated shit especially because I was drinking and would have had an acid tongue.
 
The dude did follow up the next day with concern however...so maybe I'm being naive
 
shirlene29 said:
I'm actually incredibly chill about shit as long as I'm not lied to.

I'll concede AAS is a wild card.
Blowing up my phone is actually the part that pissed me off.
Answering the phone would have escalated shit especially because I was drinking and would have had an acid tongue.
Click to expand...

To your own husband, really? I take this to mean "Im out partying with another guy and just for the moment I can feel like Im not married so dont call me and fuck up my little fantasy for the night"
 
No..its actually just a pressure valve release..frankly I'd never pretend I wasn't married as is insinuated. And even if I had gone out with an old female friend he would have blown up my phone.
He goes out with male and female coworkers all the time and I don't call him when he's out. He does cooler shit too that usually involved company sky box tix and bar hopping in the city.
 
Also Ftr I've never said shit when he hangs out with a seedy army buddy and goes titty bar hopping
 
shirlene29 said:
I'm actually incredibly chill about shit as long as I'm not lied to.

I'll concede AAS is a wild card.
Blowing up my phone is actually the part that pissed me off.
Answering the phone would have escalated shit especially because I was drinking and would have had an acid tongue.
Click to expand...

Why not just text him back saying the bar is loud. I have had a few just drinking some water to feel safe to drive home. See you in a bit if you keep your yap shut long enough we can have sexuals again.
 
shirlene29 said:
The dude did follow up the next day with concern however...so maybe I'm being naive
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say naive at all. But doing the follow-up after sending "be safe" is just good strategy on his part.

Unless this guy has completely friend-zoned you (which can happen), he's thinking about screwing you.

And without your EF family here to support you, his next good move would be to get you complaining about how your husband reacted to last night. He'd twist the knife with little texts asking you to meat up in the future by asking you if you've got Greg's permission. He'd ride just along the edge of making you mad, but he'd never draw your ire -- he'd just twist the knife.

Don't underestimate the value this guy places of mounting you as a trophy. In this case it's really messed-up since you are married, but nailing another guy's GF because he dislikes you is considered super fair-game among men. I doubt if guys here would admit it freely, but it's a common goal.

The one thing I failed to mention earlier is your trump card. If you've never cheated or given him a legitimate reason to think you've cheated, then you do hold the better hand. In that regard, he's most definitely barking up the wrong tree because the standard of proof for a spouse with a 100% track record needs to be sky high IMO.
 
Ok if youre guy is going out to titty bars thats complete shit and unacceptable among married people IMO. And hes got shit for a leg to stand on when busting your balls for going to bars with a guy coworker.

That being said, neither of those things are appropriate and two wrongs dont make a right. Sounds like theres some tit for tat shit going on and you resent each other.
 
mrplunkey said:
I wouldn't say naive at all. But doing the follow-up after sending "be safe" is just good strategy on his part.

Unless this guy has completely friend-zoned you (which can happen), he's thinking about screwing you.

And without your EF family here to support you, his next good move would be to get you complaining about how your husband reacted to last night. He'd twist the knife with little texts asking you to meat up in the future by asking you if you've got Greg's permission. He'd ride just along the edge of making you mad, but he'd never draw your ire -- he'd just twist the knife.

Don't underestimate the value this guy places of mounting you as a trophy. In this case it's really messed-up since you are married, but nailing another guy's GF because he dislikes you is considered super fair-game among men. I doubt if guys here would admit it freely, but it's a common goal.

The one thing I failed to mention earlier is your trump card. If you've never cheated or given him a legitimate reason to think you've cheated, then you do hold the better hand. In that regard, he's most definitely barking up the wrong tree because the standard of proof for a spouse with a 100% track record needs to be sky high IMO.
Click to expand...

This. She says she never has, which is why this is her husband's problem, not hers. His insecurities and miserable feelings are on him.

I'm as guilty as the next person of being super suspicious about everything once I've found out a partner has been cheating, but before that? No. You really have no choice but to stfu and trust your partner unless you know they've been stepping out on you without a doubt.

Doing anything else, snooping, checking up, etc before someone has actually done anything wrong is a sure fire way to kill things. All that does is push them farther away, making someone more likely to cheat.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Why not just text him back saying the bar is loud. I have had a few just drinking some water to feel safe to drive home. See you in a bit if you keep your yap shut long enough we can have sexuals again.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. If she had let the phone ring, then texted him back:

"Bar too loud to talk. Miss you. Going to screw you hard shortly so be ready. Drinking water to sober up for drive home. Come get me if you need it before 2am."

1) He won't give a shit about you being with the guy he doesn't like.

2) He'll feel like a total ass for even suspecting and bothering you.

3) There's 0% chance he'll come bother you at the bar to try to pick you up. For a guy, nay-nay that delivers to your bed >>> Nay-nay you have to pick up.
 
Checking out your phone was definitely a huge invasion of privacy but I think you hould have answered his call.
 
mrplunkey said:
Absolutely. If she had let the phone ring, then texted him back:

"Bar too loud to talk. Miss you. Going to screw you hard shortly so be ready. Drinking water to sober up for drive home. Come get me if you need it before 2am."
1) He won't give a shit about you being with the guy he doesn't like.

2) He'll feel like a total ass for even suspecting and bothering you.

3) There's 0% chance he'll come bother you at the bar to try to pick you up. For a guy, nay-nay that delivers to your bed >>> Nay-nay you have to pick up.[/QUOTE]

Yeah that's a bit nicer than what I said I was trying to think what Shirl would actually say she's a little blunt but I :heart: her for that.

#3 tr00 just like dial a dick in house delievery is best... just ask Pick3:rainbow:
Click to expand...
 
shirlene29 said:
Also Ftr I've never said shit when he hangs out with a seedy army buddy and goes titty bar hopping
Click to expand...

If you're trusting him at titty bars with an army buddy, I too agree he's got to chill. That's a very high level of trust.
 
mrplunkey said:
Absolutely. If she had let the phone ring, then texted him back:

"Bar too loud to talk. Miss you. Going to screw you hard shortly so be ready. Drinking water to sober up for drive home. Come get me if you need it before 2am."

1) He won't give a shit about you being with the guy he doesn't like.

2) He'll feel like a total ass for even suspecting and bothering you.

3) There's 0% chance he'll come bother you at the bar to try to pick you up. For a guy, nay-nay that delivers to your bed >>> Nay-nay you have to pick up.
Click to expand...

I think she's annoyed that she has to reassure him at all knowing she's never done anything wrong, so this would really only make him feel better and enable his jealous behavior. Wouldn't make the situation better for her at all.
 
mrplunkey said:
If you're trusting him at titty bars with an army buddy, I too agree he's got to chill. That's a very high level of trust.
Click to expand...

Indeed

And SD I don't think it is fair to say what is to far for a married couple. Everyone is different and there boundaries are different so it Shirl is fine with him at the titty bar then that works for them. I can see her point if she is that trusting he should be as well.

I do think though if he's not as developed in his self esteem a little communication in his direction would simply reassure him.
 
AFeedz said:
I think she's annoyed that she has to reassure him at all knowing she's never done anything wrong, so this would really only make him feel better and enable his jealous behavior. Wouldn't make the situation better for her at all.
Click to expand...

Well if her goal is to have an uninterrupted, enjoyable night at the bar with zero fall-out the next day, that 25-second text would have either:

1) Completely neutralized the situation.

or:

2) Given her the ultimate hammer to use if he bitched the next day, which would have made today's argument(s) much shorter.

and if he kept bitching...

3) It gives her the smoking gun proof she needs to justify giving him an ultimatum to shape up or GTFO.

I'm willing to bet that 25-second text would have saved hours of arguments and soul-searching about what to do next with her husband.

I'm just being pragmatic.
 
mrplunkey said:
Well if her goal is to have an uninterrupted, enjoyable night at the bar with zero fall-out the next day, that 25-second text would have either:

1) Completely neutralized the situation.

or:

2) Given her the ultimate hammer to use if he bitched the next day, which would have made today's argument(s) much shorter.

and if he kept bitching...

3) It gives her the smoking gun proof she needs to justify giving him an ultimatum to shape up or GTFO.

I'm willing to bet that 25-second text would have saved hours of arguments and soul-searching about what to do next with her husband.

I'm just being pragmatic.
Click to expand...

You're talking one scene, I'm talking whole movie.

The text probably wouldv'e helped last night. I'm almost sure of it. Her problem isn't that she didn't want to reassure him this time, it's that she's sick of it happening all the time. Every time she goes out after this, she'll have to reassure him as well...and that's bullshit when your partner has no reason to suspect anything.

I'd be equally annoyed if I had to tiptoe around issues with my partner and hold his hand through nothing, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the real problem of his insecurity.

I shouldn't have to have to devise an offensive plan to combat my husband's issues every time I step out.
 
-SD- said:
Ok if youre guy is going out to titty bars thats complete shit and unacceptable among married people IMO. And hes got shit for a leg to stand on when busting your balls for going to bars with a guy coworker.

That being said, neither of those things are appropriate and two wrongs dont make a right. Sounds like theres some tit for tat shit going on and you resent each other.
Click to expand...

Knowing myself, I agree with this. If I could deal with my husband viewing another woman's naked body and feel absolutely nothing about it then my apathy/anger/resentment is so deep that I would know that we were in serious trouble.
 
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