Posted by Asia the Invincible on February 26, 1997 at 21:32:52:
Dear fellow steroid users, bodybuilders, powerlifters, fitness enthusiasts, Playboy bunnies and other Bill Phillip dick suckers, drug dealers and athletes.
I have a problem. Very simply put, I can't get laid. Not once. I don't FUCKING KNOW WHY! Is there a steroid that can help you get laid? If so, where can I get it, and what are the dosages? Will they make my dick shrink? I know I sound like a beginner, but when it comes to sex, I AM a fucking beginner. I don't even know what a clit looks like. All I know is that steroids make it hypertrophy.
When Danny Devito ridiculed the idea of a 230 pound virgin in the movie "TWINS", I laughed. I was young then and weighed about 140 Ibs. "NO PROBLEM, I'll get laid before I gain another 90 Ibs. HAHAHAHA!"
Well, low and behold, the steroid God was very nice to me, so was the training and nutrition god, the sleep and recuperation Gad wasn't quite as nice, but I grew none the less. Finally, in the year of 1997, a year of great economic change in Asia, I Asia the Invincible, REACHED 230IBS! HOORAAH! And ALAS! I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX IN MY LIFE! HOORAAH! THE MYTHICAL 230 Ibs FUCKING VIRGIN HAS RISEN AGAIN!
Will the world witness a 240 Ibs virgin, 250? 260? 300? 398? No, I ain't talking about Greg Kovacs. As he said, getting into top shape using the MuscleTech Stack has many... MANY advantages. MANY FUCKING ADVANTAGES... literally.
Guys, I know this ain't really a steroid or anabolic post, but at least I tied them in and mentioned them? Come on, help me out here, I NEED TO GET LAID! AND I NEED IT BAD! I am not asking for Monica Brandt or something like that, I JUST NEED TO GET LAID! BADLY! Somebody help me. A 230 Ibs. Virgin is just plain ridiculous, even more so than Dorain's left bicep. I just can't take it no more. I can't get any, and I need help! THIS IS SERIOUS!
If not help me get laid, at least help me get a LITTLE affection!
Any advice will be greatly appreciated. I am asking for help as a friend and fellow bodybuilder. This is a serious post. PLEASE HELP!
Asia