Painless Injections of Anabolic Seroids – The Ultimate Guide

I remember my first time. No, not that. I\'m talking about my first time trying to inject myself. It was equally as scary as the "other" first time but not nearly as pleasurable. At any rate, both experiences were over in a couple of seconds.

To many bodybuilders experienced in steroid use, shooting up is a walk in the park. But if you\'ve never taken the plunge, so to speak, the idea of stabbing yourself and flooding your bloodstream with a substance you bought from some guy who you know only as "Big Lou", can be a little frightening to say the least.

In this edition of Elite Fitness News, we\'ve printed Nelson Montana\'s Guide to Painless Injections. This excerpt is from Nelson\'s book BottomLine Bodybuilding. Whether you\'re a newbie, a novice, a girlie-girl like me, or a veritable veteran at the fine art of what amounts to anabolic hari-kari, there are a few tricks which can make the experience a lot less painful. In fact, self injection should be pain-less. Read on for this free guide to painless injections, of check out Nelson\'s BottomLine Bodybuilding, the single guide that tells you the bottom line on everything: training, diet, supplements, and steroids! And it shows you how to put it all together to quickly and safely build the thick, dense muscle mass that women love and shred off your extra fat! Read more...

Nelson Montana\'s Guide to Painless Injections

I know, you\'re a big tough guy, and a little pain and maybe even a little blood, doesn\'t bother you. Some people go out of their way to play down the dangers. I knew one guy who used to do his injecting in the men\'s room of the gym and while prepping himself, he\'d place the hypodermic on the toilet tank. (At least he wiped it first.) Another braintrust at the same gym was showing a newbie what kind of needles to use and he removed the cap and stroked the pin with his filthy fingertips! "See," he said. "It\'s not too bad." Yet another Neanderthal used to jab himself right through his sweatpants and shoot the entire contents into his leg as fast as he could. He\'d get bruises and abscesses and shrug it all off. "Dat\'s what ya gotta do ta get big," he was fond of saying while smiling through the three or four teeth he still had in his mouth. (And they say there aren\'t any good men around worth dating.)

While the dangers and the pain associated with self injecting may be exaggerated, there\'s no need to make it worse than it has to be. There are enough risks involved without adding to them. So even if you\'re an old pro at this, what you\'re about to read may make life a little easier. If you\'re a virgin and haven\'t yet mustered up the courage (don\'t worry, I won\'t tell) then read this information very carefully.
Time for a disclaimer! The information about to be presented is purely hypothetical. I am not encouraging anyone to engage in any activity that is either illegal or potentially dangerous. This is for entertainment and informational purposes only so put away that number for the law firm of Sheister, Stikum and Sckrew and listen up. As a matter of fact, ignore it altogether.

Now, IF...I somehow were bitten by a poisonous snake and there were no qualified medical practitioners around and my life depended on injecting myself with the antidote, this is how I\'d do it.

Here\'s the How, What, Where, Why and When of painless injecting.

WHERE

The injection site I\'d pick would be the glutes. It\'s the fleshiest area with the least nerve endings. I never understood why someone would shoot themselves in a more sensitive area like the leg or shoulder.

The temptation for someone who may not know better, is to place the needle in the lower part of the butt cheek. It\'s the softest and presumably the easiest to penetrate. The problem with this location is the sciatic nerve runs through the middle and lower area of the buttock and if you hit it while injecting, they\'ll have to scrape you off the ceiling.

The area where you\'d inject is the upper outer quadrant of the cheek but not so high where you\'ll hit your pelvis bone. Feel around for the muscle. That\'s where it needs to go.

WHAT

The standard size needle is 22 or 23 gauge and 1 1/2 inches in length. I\'m not sure why this has become the standard but I believe it\'s longer and thicker than necessary. A one inch, 25 gauge needle works fine for anyone under 250 pounds or so. They can be purchased through any veterinarian supply house. 25 gauge is the standard for dogs. While you\'re at it, order some thicker 18 gauge pins. I\'ll explain why in a minute.

Using a 25 gauge for injecting does require a little more pressure to get the oil through the needle but you\'re pretty strong, aren\'t you big boy? Actually, it\'s better that the oil comes out a little slower. It allows the oil to be dispersed evenly instead of congesting near the skin surface. It should be mentioned, this procedure concerns only oil based injections. Winstrol Depot, which contains tiny granules in a water base, may not penetrate a 25 gauge needle.

WHEN

Don\'t even attempt to inject something that isn\'t in a sterile environment. Needles that have been exposed are garbage. Throw them away! NEVER re-use a needle. Wash your hands and lay out a clean towel where you can place everything you need. If you\'re using a vial that needs to be filed, use the serrated end of a clean knife. If you\'re using a plunge-top vial, (the kind that you turn upside down), wipe the top with a swab of alcohol before drawing the fluid into the syringe. Make sure not to extend the needle above the fluid in the vial or you\'ll get unwanted air into the syringe.

Regarding drawing out the oil, a thicker gauge needle will be necessary. You\'ll never be able to draw with a 25 gauge. Besides, if you\'re drawing the solution from a vial with a rubber stopper, it will dull the needle. (Dull needles hurt more.) That\'s where the 18 gauge comes in. Unscrew the needle on the hypo and screw on the 18 to draw out the required dosage. It\'ll take just a few seconds. Unscrew the 18 and replace the 25. You can save the 18 gauge for future use if it\'s kept clean but pins are so cheap you might as well splurge for a new one each time and keep things perfectly sanitary.

Never pull on the plunger before filling it because it will reduce the suction, making it harder to draw.

Once filled to the proper dosage, tap the syringe by flicking it with the back of the nail of your middle finger (just like they do in the movies) to make sure any air bubbles rise to the top. Squirt a drop out of the tip of the needle to make sure there\'s no trapped air and to lubricate the pin with some oil. I love when they do that in the movies as they\'re about to kill someone with a lethal injection. Let\'s not take any unnecessary risks now!

HOW (Just a little further down, I\'ll tell you how!)

There are a few tricks that can make this procedure virtually pain free. One is to run the filled syringe under hot water for a minute. This increases the viscosity of the oil allowing for a smooth transition. If you\'re really afraid of a little pinch (which is really all it amounts to with a 25 gauge) you can hold an ice cube on the intended injection site for about a minute. That\'ll numb it. (Make sure you wet the cube first or it may stick to your skin). Slapping the area will also numb it and loosen the muscle.

Look in a mirror and view the area where you want the needle to go in. If you have a birthmark nearby, use that as a target.

If you\'re right-handed, while holding the syringe in your right hand, reach across your body and pull the skin near the intended entrance site (right cheek) taunt with your left hand.

Put your weight on your left leg. Stay relaxed. If you tense up it will hurt more.

Push the needle in firmly. Don\'t stab! But don\'t go too easy or it won\'t penetrate properly. If you try and cheat by just having a portion of the needle in, the steroid will get trapped in the fat and won\'t circulate properly. It may also cause swelling at the injection site. Think as if you want to pop a balloon with a dart. That should be just about right.

This may sound stupid, but don\'t think about the needle. Think about your belly button. (This works -- really!) Once the needle is in, it\'s recommended that you draw the plunger back to check for blood. Honestly, I find this practice very impractical. It\'s so difficult to see, considering the positioning. Besides, that area of the glutes doesn\'t have any major arteries running through it. At the very worst, you\'ll break a capillary or run through a small vein. Have an alcohol swab ready if you bleed after you pull the needle out. At any rate, it shouldn\'t be more than a drop or two. The butt checks are fat and fleshy (at least mine are) and don\'t have many blood vessels near the epidermis.

Push down the plunger steadily and firmly until it\'s empty. Keep it straight. Don\'t twist or bend the syringe.

After completing the injection, quickly pull the needle out quickly and massage the area to help disperse the oil. You may feel the oil running down the inside of your leg which might freak some people out. Don\'t worry, it\'s normal and it actually can be prevented by lying down and elevating the legs. If possible, alternate the left and right cheek if you\'re planning more than 2 injections a week.

WHY

Well, we all know why we do this. Bigger muscles! It does a body good.

There are always unforeseen risks. One never knows if they may have an allergy to something. The worst case scenario is when someone has such an adverse reaction they go into anaphylactic shock which can result in paralysis or heart attack. Granted, it\'s a one in a million chance, but it exists. That\'s why doctors have a vial of adrenaline prepared in case they need to immediately revive a patient. I would imagine if you asked a doctor how many times he needed to use it, the chances are he\'ll say; "never." If you\'re thinking about having a vial of adrenaline handy...stop thinking. You won\'t be able to use it even if you knew how because if you actually went into anaphylactic shock, you\'d be unconscious in a matter of seconds. So if you\'re still standing 30 seconds after injecting, you\'ll probably live.

Sticking yourself may be harrowing but it doesn\'t have to be painful. Everybody starts out as a wuss when it comes to needles. I sure was. But before long, I became a full fledged juice shooting slut. Still, there\'s no reason not to do things the easy way.

Hopefully these tips will make your venture a little less nerve wracking.

Nelson Montana

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Author: George Spellwin