I need to start keeping my mouth shut so I can get laid.

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

Well here's the second time in a week I've said something to a female to ensure I won't be getting any pootang.

It was me and a buddy drinking beer & throwing darts. Two good looking females we know came in and talked to us. One of the girls had some white, pointy shoes with what looked like glitter all over them.

So out of nowhere I said...
"So, did you get your 3 wishes or did you just beat the genie up and take his shoes?"

:worried:

seizer · Oct 24, 2005

lmao. Dude, that was quite dorkish of you.

Evil_Frisky · Oct 24, 2005

You will never get laid

The Shadow · Oct 24, 2005

I would think locking oneself out of said females hotel room would be a more pressing issue than said attempt at wit

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

Frisky said:
You will never get laid

Oh yeah, well a girl smiled at me driving by as I walked thru the mall parking lot over the weekend. I am almost in there!

Who feels stupid now! :supercool

FISHTALES · Oct 24, 2005

treat em like dirt they stick like mud.

the worse i am to em the more they like me, whats up with that? even my female roomate told me that

gotmilk · Oct 24, 2005

You couldn't get laid with a deaf person.

It's not your mouth....

nycgirl · Oct 24, 2005

You just need to meet a girl that understands your humor, laugh at your jokes, and then say some smartass remark back to you.

I have hope for you.

Evil_Frisky · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Oh yeah, well a girl smiled at me driving by as I walked thru the mall parking lot over the weekend. I am almost in there!

Who feels stupid now!

You prolly had a booger or something. I smile at people I think look funny, and i giggle.

jenscats5 · Oct 24, 2005

The Shadow said:
I would think locking oneself out of said females hotel room would be a more pressing issue than said attempt at wit

Definitely.......or dribbling beer all over himself....

But anyway, aap - you're just figuring this out now??

Dunk · Oct 24, 2005

You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws, and with fangs and big fucking teeth, and your thinking to yourself, with these claws "How am I supposed to kill this bunny?"

ill tell you how..you say some shit like this...

alien amp pharm said:
"So, did you get your 3 wishes or did you just beat the genie up and take his shoes?"

Lestat · Oct 24, 2005

The Shadow said:
I would think locking oneself out of said females hotel room would be a more pressing issue than said attempt at wit

lol

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

When we were going thru the haunted house Sat. night at some point there was this dude with a scary mask screaming at us. I said "Hey Jay look, it's your mother-in-law".

Everybody busted out laughing expect for his wife who was with us. lol.

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

gotmilk said:
You couldn't get laid with a deaf person.

It's not your mouth....

Good point.
I suppose the girls think I am out of their league.
Perhaps I should ugly myself up some.

Thanks, you've been a great help. Karma for you.

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

The Shadow said:
I would think locking oneself out of said females hotel room would be a more pressing issue than said attempt at wit

The next morning I remember thinking 'Wait a minute, deadbolts don't lock from the outside!'.

I'm starting to think said females didn't want me there at all.

Nah, that couldn't be the case.

*flexes and kisses bicep*

-SD- · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Good point.
I suppose the girls think I am out of their league.
Perhaps I should ugly myself up some.

Thanks, you've been a great help. Karma for you.

Ya also gotta know how to put yourself on the same level as the proletariat. I know, its hard.

rnch · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Oh yeah, well a girl smiled at me driving by as I walked thru the mall parking lot over the weekend. I am almost in there!

Who feels stupid now!

since u r in NE tennessess; it's safe to assume she was smiling at your truck and prolly not at you.

Evil_Frisky · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
When we were going thru the haunted house Sat. night at some point there was this dude with a scary mask screaming at us. I said "Hey Jay look, it's your mother-in-law".

Everybody busted out laughing expect for his wife who was with us. lol.

so these girls are what? 16?

wtf are you bringing hot babes to the haunted house for? Scary movie yea, cause at least you're sitting close to them.. Fucking haunted house?

Dood we seriously need to talk.

gotmilk · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
I suppose the girls think I am out of their league.

You're in the South...there are plenty of girls in your league

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

Frisky said:
so these girls are what? 16?

wtf are you bringing hot babes to the haunted house for? Scary movie yea, cause at least you're sitting close to them.. Fucking haunted house?

Dood we seriously need to talk.

Haunted house = $15
Pint of liquor = $10

Having a hot 24 yr old grab onto you tightly whist mashing her boobs against you = PRICELESS.

milo hobgoblin · Oct 24, 2005

LMFAO!! Bro that shit is funny.. if she didnt laugh at that she is an uptight bitch..

jaded · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Oh yeah, well a girl smiled at me driving by as I walked thru the mall parking lot over the weekend. I am almost in there!

Who feels stupid now!

She wasn't smiling at you, she was trying not to laugh

Evil_Frisky · Oct 24, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Haunted house = $15
Pint of liquor = $10

Having a hot 24 yr old grab onto you tightly whist mashing her boobs against you = Nice.

Going home alone agian = PRICELESS

Hiatussin · Oct 24, 2005

thats not even really funny

I´m all for cockblocking yourself for entertainment when it´s actually funny. this was just mean and lame

alien amp pharm · Oct 24, 2005

Hiatussin said:
thats not even really funny

I´m all for cockblocking yourself for entertainment when it´s actually funny. this was just mean and lame

I'm sorry you didn't like it. I will try harder next time just for you.

hanselthecaretaker · Oct 24, 2005

That's actually pretty funny bro.

GoldenDelicious · Oct 24, 2005

im with you aap, i hate those pointy shoes. one time i went out with a girl who turned up wearing them and said (without thinking, as usual) "so...whered you park your broomstick?"

good thing i didnt feel like sex that day

GrandMaster · Oct 24, 2005

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!! :FRlol:

Evil_Frisky · Oct 25, 2005

GoldenDelicious said:
im with you aap, i hate those pointy shoes. one time i went out with a girl who turned up wearing them and said (without thinking, as usual) "so...whered you park your broomstick?"

good thing i didnt feel like sex that day

I love my pointy shoes... damnit

at the very tip there is the finest sharpest little blade. Placed there for the soul purpose of kicking smart ass chumps in the balls when they tease me.

pintoca · Oct 25, 2005

Frisky said:
I love my pointy shoes... damnit

at the very tip there is the finest sharpest little blade. Placed there for the soul purpose of kicking smart ass chumps in the balls when they tease me.

pointy shoes remind me of:

PeterPan
Locomia

alien amp pharm · Oct 25, 2005

Exactly. Do women actually think guys like pointed shoes? They are about as hideous as Pintoca's face.

Evil_Frisky · Oct 25, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Exactly. Do women actually think guys like pointed shoes? They are about as hideous as Pintoca's face.

Honestly sugar, women don't care if you like our shoes or not.

pintoca · Oct 25, 2005

alien amp pharm said:
Exactly. Do women actually think guys like pointed shoes? They are about as hideous as Pintoca's face.

that is sayin a lot

rnch · Oct 25, 2005

rnch said:
since u r in NE tennessess; it's safe to assume she was smiling at your truck and prolly not at you.

the truck gets their attention....what you do with their attention past that is up to you.

in your defense....sounds like the gals in question weren't blessed with an overly large sense of humor.

GoldenDelicious · Oct 25, 2005

Frisky said:
I love my pointy shoes... damnit

at the very tip there is the finest sharpest little blade. Placed there for the soul purpose of kicking smart ass chumps in the balls when they tease me.

pft. we all know you take your shoes off before you fight

i mean, you take your shoes off before you cop a beating

I need to start keeping my mouth shut so I can get laid.

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