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  Hardcore Dieting Story!

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Author Topic:   Hardcore Dieting Story!
Monster

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2000

posted September 13, 2000 08:38 PM

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Ok, you think youre a hardcore dieter? For size OR for cutting??? Top this!

So Im at the gym doing dumbell shoulder presses. A few people are watching me (which is a mistake because I LOVE an audience!). So I figure Im gonna give em a good show! Im all warmed up and ready to go... I get the seat situated, get myself all pumped up and ready to go... theyre looking... Im eating it up...
I grab the 120lb dumbells. I sit and knee the first one up to my shoulder, I knee the second one up... feeling good, looking at myself in the mirror (the only thing I love more than being watched. lol)
So I press, Im getting em up there and looking good, around 6 reps it starts getting heavy... Im talking "Holy crap I'll be crushed and killed!" heavy. My spotter doesnt even weigh as much as one of the dumbells... basically moral support...
So I figure Im gonna do 8, I get the 7th up , jaw clenched, and CRACK!!! Pain like 1000 red hot knives is shooting through my jaw. I manage to set the weights down and begin a swearing tirade that left a stain on the sealing above where I did it! I look in the mirror and there is blood coming from my mouth... I look in the mirror reveals I have cracked a molar completly in two!
On the plus side it only hurt when I ate, drank, or breathed...
So being a lazy procrastinator, I self medicate and put off the dentist for a day or two... then I go.
To make a really long story a little bit shorter, he fixes it and says I cant eat or drink for 4 hours! Hey, I eat every hour on the hour! 4 hours! Crap!!!
So heres where the test of my dieting discipline comes in...
I stoped at the store (in a haze of codine) and buy 3 bags of "00" caps and proceed to go home and cap up scoops of protien powder. Let me tell you, 2 scoops of powder is more caps than you can possibly imagine. Then it hits me I CANT DRINK WATER TO WASH THE CAPS DOWN!
So here I am, jaw swollen, shoving protien powder capsules in my mouth, sticking my fingers in, shoving them waaaayyyy back to make them go down. Gagging, coughing, choking on blood. I did this 4 times. By the 4th time I wished for deaths sweet release...
Well, I thought Id share that inspirational story with all of you. Its made sacraficing that big sweet yummy melt delicious hershey bar a little easier. I figure if I can jam dry capsules down my throat for hours on end, I can manage to go without chocolate (at least for a few more weeks, then I have to make an exception )


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WarLobo

Moderator

Posts: 1362
From:CA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted September 14, 2000 12:27 AM

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You sir, are wacked!

I can see that you were not thinking "out of the box" either. A stop by the medical store, IV, bag, your trusty coat hanger, some liquid protein and your set! And yes I've actually done this when I was in the military and my good friend (corpsman type) worked out and figured we would gain some big time muscle if we could feed them all night..... Ummm... don't roll over... Shit... those were the days... Fricking trying to lift on a boat. Talk about not being able to use much weight! On waves, you better be in time with them or your FUCKED. That 225 bench press just got REAL heavy. But then on the ohter hand... if you timed it right, 400 would be a snap... hehehe... if you didn't crack your chest as it crashed through to your back bone.

------------------
LAte

Lobo

[This message has been edited by WarLobo (edited September 14, 2000).]


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bikinimom

Moderator

Posts: 745
From:La-La Land
Registered: Jun 2000

posted September 14, 2000 06:42 AM

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Almost makes me wish I was a guy.


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havoc

Cool Novice

Posts: 34
From:The 27th Century, USAtiva
Registered: Sep 2000

posted September 14, 2000 10:38 AM

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I will top it easy,
Last year I had 6 wisdom teeth removed, since I eat 10 meals a day I was caught in a fucked up situation. Protein was a must there was no alternative, I cooked the usual meals of 2 chicken breast with beans and rice, threw them in a purolater then blender and drank 10 meals every day for 4 days , also swallowing around 3 cups of blood a day, it was fun but staying jacked is a must.

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SEEK OUT KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING, MY THOUGHTS ARE UNIVERSES....
"Your girl has most likely ridden my lap before"-havoc
"You can find me in the GARDEN of SHAOLIN cultivating the TRUTH"-havoc


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Iron God

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 440
From: Parts Unknown
Registered: May 2000

posted September 14, 2000 10:49 AM

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Lobo,


I was with the 26th MEU on the USS Kearsage, and broke my ankle while doing squats during some chop(worst 6 months of my life). Lifting weights while underway is considered hazardous duty.


IG


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Dizzy Lizzy

Novice

Posts: 4
From:Yellow Submarine
Registered: Jul 2000

posted September 17, 2000 08:43 PM

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Props! that is a hardcore story. Sorry about your molar, but that was a great story! Hope you are doing better

Dizzy Lizzy


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Monster

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2000

posted September 17, 2000 09:54 PM

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Thanks Dizzy Lizzy... it was all pretty funny (looking back!)

I used to laugh at the guys in the gym who wear mouth guards... Im still not gonna wear one, but I wont laugh...

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