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 Women's Discussion Board
 What would you do??
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| Author | Topic: What would you do?? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 60 |
Im going to try posting this question again. I posted late last night, but when got up this morning, it was gone. So if you posted a response, i DID NOT get it. Here's the deal... I have been offered a role in a movie that's being filmed in my city. The pay is ok, considering ive never done any acting before (500. a day + %of sales)..Here's the problem, there are some pretty steamy love scenes...I would have to be topless on the set with some guy, on top of him (no boobies actually are going to show in the movie) ...I am married and my husband is not crazy about the idea, to say the least. There is a part of me that thinks, its just a job..then i think i would feel wrong, like i was cheating on my husband just for being in that postition! What would you do?     | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 443 |
Your an actress and it's acting, tell your husband to grow a set of ya-yo's and get over it.
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 60 |
IG, When i posted this, i thought that this was very similar to your post about FC posing in playboy...Wish there were more men who werent so jealous out there! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1004 |
cj - You've gotta do what feels comfortable to you first and also what feels comfortable to your husband. I am in a similar situation as I've been offered a photo shoot with a local artist. Nude was preferred (I have no problem with this) but my husband lost his mind and we settled on bathing suit. Now I could have very well done what I wanted to but there are two of us in the relationship. I am well aware it is his insecurity but I'm willing to compromise on this one even though I think the experience would be good for me. It makes me sad, because I support wholeheartedly any interest that he has - and believe me some of his interests are NOT mainstream. He is only just now starting to come around to the idea of my bodybuilding so its been a tough subject all the way around. I know your hubby has been the same way. Good luck! ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 443 |
Any person (man or women) who would stop their mate from achieving his/her dream because of some jealousy or stupid insecurity is just pathetic beyond words. Your not doing anything wrong, nor is posing naked doing anything wrong. Sky Dancer, Not to sound cruel but if your husband says he loves you and doing this shoot means alot to you and he KNOWS this. Then why is he giving you such a hard time. I really don't understand this kind of thinking. I must be from another planet. IG | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 160 |
I agree with what you are saying IG...but not everyone thinks like you...and maybe somethings that you disagree with another man might think it is okay...I think the bottom line is when you decide to be with someone for life there is some give and take...if they discussed this and her husband still has a problem with it then she has to do what is right to keep them both happy...marriage is a partnership which means they both have to work things out together....cj: I hope this works out for both of you so you both can be happy with the outcome. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1004 |
IG - I'm well aware of this. Our situation is a little more complicated than "just the photo shoot". I won't go into the boring details but right now my lifting and interest in posing is the only concrete thing he can grab on to. I know its immature and unsupportive of him and it breaks my heart. I've asked him what if I wanted to get into competing, or fitness modeling or whatever. He can't deal with it. Like I said, its not a black and white situation. Thats why I come here for support!! Thanks for your words... ------------------ | ||
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unregistered |
Just out of curiousity, why was my original post deleted?? Anyway, this is an opportunity that you want to take advantage of and I think you need to thoroughly explain that to him!!! It also may end up being a break for you, if you are looking to get into that field. If there are no other problems in your relationship, he should have no problem with you doing this movie bit...he loves you, you love him, and you see fake love scenes on TV every day! Its called acting !!!!!!!!! ------------------ | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 1362 |
We had some technical problems with the board this morning. Some threads which were in transition were lost. ------------------ Lobo | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 443 |
Ladies, This kind of thing is something I feel very strongly about. The amount of pride I feel when FC wins a show or is in some magazine is immeasurable and the satisfaction of knowing I played a role in it is immense. To me it's almost better than my own triumphs. And for you ladies who don't have the support of your significant others in your BBing or career endeavors I feel bad for you, because as tough as these thing are, they are almost impossible without the support of the ones you love.
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 16 |
IMO, I don't think these ladies want your pity, maybe some support would suffice  | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 246 |
I agree with Iron God on this... I know you love your husband and he loves you but, if you really wanted to do this, he should support you... I just feel like when you get old, and can't do this any longer are you going to look back and say, "I should have done that?" Ask yourself, do you really want to do this? I think partners should support each other! It might make you closer...!!! We are put here on this earth alone.. and we find someone to share things with.. It's great!! But, we will go out of this life alone, just like we came in.. Enjoy Life!! | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 745 |
FUCK!!!! I just typed llllooooooonnnnng post and click - it disappeared! anyway - Cj and Sky - ladies I understand your situation all too well! Although marriage is a give and take and yes, compromises have to be made - this is about something more important than your china pattern or how you wear your hair on your wedding day (just to give you an idea of how controlling my hubby USED to be). I have to say that regardless of how much "discussing" you ladies do, ultimately the decisions will have to be YOURS! YOU have to decide what you are willing to live with, what opportunities you pursue or pass up, which dream you try to accomplish and which ones will stay just dreams. I suspect that this is about so much more than a simple photo shoot or role in a movie. I dare to say that this is about what you can accomplish that does NOT include your roles as wives or mothers - and this is ONE SCARY THING for many husbands. "I didn't marry a body builder"...."I didn't sign on to be a husband to a model"....."You weren't an actress when we met"...."I thought we agreed that you would stay home and raise the children" and on and on. What they don't realize is that you are growing as an individual - you are NOT the same person they married all those years ago (and I suspect they have matured as well). Change is GOOD but DAMN IT'S SCARY. "What if you don't need me anymore?"..."What if you end up meeting some guy who's better than me?"...."What if you decide that you like your new life better than your old life?" Ladies I can not tell you what to do - you have to decide what will make you hapy. But what I can tell you is that when you give up your dreams - YOU DIE! I suspect that you have probably spent the last decade or so of your lives caring for the needs of others ALMOST COMPLETELY ignoring your own needs. Now, all of the sudden, you mean YOU have needs too?....Needs that do NOT include me (hubby) or the kids? What your husbands don't realize that if they support you - with the same willingness that you did them all these years, I suspect - you will be so much happier. And this will help you to mother better and be a better spouse (not that I'm saying you ladies are lacking here, but I think you get the point). How do I know - because I am living it. I am married to a man who USED to be INSANELY jealous. I used to think that jealousy = love. Now that I am grown I realize that jealousy has NOTHING to do with love and EVERYTHING to do with insecurity. The last 3 years of my marriage have been extremely difficult, but very rewarding at the same time. I have discovered many things about myself, my spouse, my marriage and life in general that I would have NEVER known had these struggles not arisen ...and had I not FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT! My advice to you ladies is KEEP TALKING with your spouses and don't settle for less than what you DESERVE. Ultimately, your husbands will concede when they realize how important certain things are to you and I suspect they will probably dig you all the more. They will also grow from these experiences and your marriages though, they will probably be tested, will be fortified if they survive. There is light at the end of the tunnel and if your husbands truly love you as PEOPLE then they will recognize YOUR NEEDS and will trust you to make decisions that will not hurt the sanctity of your union REGARDLESS of what situation arises. As for me, I would rather live in a little studio apartment w/my girls struggling to make ends meet than to continue to coexist in a situation where only ONE person gets support - me being on the GIVING end of the line. Though a divorce would be deeply hurtful to my children I think they would be more hurt as WOMEN to be taught through MY example to give, give, give and get nothing or very little in return. IG - you are one progressive brotha!....I wish that more men would feel this way towards their mates. Perhaps this is something we, as mothers should be teaching our sons. It is OK for your wife to EXCEL too!...This in no way negates the accomplishments of our husbands, but I believe it is how the sexes were created to be - not one above the other, both helping each other to become everything that that individual was meant to be. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 60 |
OK, after much thought and consideration i have come to a conclusion...My husband basically said that it was my decision and that he would support me whatever decision i made...So anyway...after reading over the script many times, I have decided NOT to do the love scene...I will explain this to the producer and either he can find someone else or make it to where i can play the role and still feel comfortable..He has also offered me a very small role that I am going to accept, It wont be a major role like the other one, but its a start. Thank you for all of your replys..Maybe if IG was my hubby things would be different! LOL! FC is a lucky girl and you can tell that he is very supportive! | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 1362 |
At least sleep on this.... give yourself a day to let it all soak in.... if you have the time and arn't shooting tomorrow. ------------------ Lobo | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 60 |
Well I am supposed to let the producer know something by today b/c they wanted me to start shooting on Saturday. So.. Lobo, whats your opinion of it? Would you want your wife to do it? | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 1362 |
Shit... you just had to ask.... OK, I ADMIT IT... I'm a tad old fashion in this area. Now don't you all start getting upset and such. The wife and I have had this discussion a time or two... or three.... It really comes down to how the production is represented. The female body is one beautiful creation. If presented in good taste, and the emphasis is placed on the individual, then I really have no problem. But just to put tits on the screen for shock or entertainment value is not my idea of how women, in general, rise above being just a mer sex object, a tool, to be tossed when a few wrinkles appear. You really can't have it both ways. The more you promote yourself with tits and ass, the less your going to be recognized for anything else. Now notice I said T&A. At some point you will have to draw a line... or go into porno�s I guess. This is one reason I respect Monica B so much. She has held a solid line and kept her cloths on. I never once told my wife she could not do something. But I try like hell to point out all the pro's AND con's of each and every decision. I was in TV/film for three years and have seen some down right disgusting shit. Here is a few things I learn from a very talented and beautiful anchor news women with over 20 years in the biz: If you can have your 13 year old (or so) daughter/son on the set and not be ashamed, then it's probably ok. Money goes away � film, your reputation, and soul is forever. And my favorite, "Honey, if you have to show your tits to make it, you ain't going to make it...." Most of you know me pritty darn well from the many posts, both the goof off ones, and the more serious ones. I try never to put morality in places it should not be in. And I think I do a darn sight good job at promoting a level playing field for women. But in the end, this question is one only you can make. I'm just putting forth a few different view points that you may not have concidered. I could probably go on and on, but I think you have the jist of what I'm saying. And by the way, I REALLY did not want to post up to this thread.... But you asked an honest question. I'm sure this is going to be a nice long thread too.....
Lobo [This message has been edited by WarLobo (edited September 08, 2000).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 82 |
500 stinkin' dollars for you to "expose yourself"??? Not worth it. Especially since your husband is not comfortable with it. Ok so you won't be actually makin' out with the guy but I understand your husband's thinking. I don't share well, either. I think you made the right choice. | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 17 |
CJ, I think that you have made a very wise decision and I agree with Warlobo on this one. This is a decision that YOU will have to live with for the rest of your life. If your son/daughter or their friends were to see this would you be comfortable with it. If they are really interested in you as an actress then the fact that you will not do the sex scene should not matter. Does the scene really develop the plot or is it just gratuitous nudity? Do you really need to be naked on top of another guy? Or can they find an alternative shoot to bring the same point across? GOOD LUCK to you. ------------------ |
All times are ET (US) | |
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posted September 07, 2000 01:28 PM