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 Women's Discussion Board
 Precontest diet/cardio
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| Author | Topic: Precontest diet/cardio | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 534 |
SUCKS! Ok, we all know that. I started up monday, and getting up at 5:30 am to go out and ride is bad enough. Its been three days, and Ive already rode into a road repair hole left unmarked and been CHASED BY A GOD DAMN SKUNK! I dread going out tommorrow... I fear I may not make it back alive! I just know that skunk is waiting in ambush for me, it could be low blood sugar talking, but I feel there may be a wildlife conspiracy occuring (when the skunk chased me I thought I caught a glimpse of a raccoon on a grassy nole on the left). Anyway, they say misery loves company, so I thought Id share!     | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 1284 |
BWaHaahhhhaaaa!! I just got this mental image of a 250+ pound guy running his ass of from a 10 pound little 'ol skunk!!!! Gads... I'm rolling.... ------------------ Lobo | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
I love animals, so I couldnt bring myself to throw anything at it... all I could do was swear and seeth... | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
lmao | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 795 |
Hahahahaha Monster. You are in desperate need of some carbs my friend. Where I go riding all the big buses chase me. But I can outrun them because they keep stopping to pick up more passengers! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 144 |
Monster.. I feel for you and your skunk problem. I was uh.. attacked by a baby racoon last year and it scared the shit out of me. (Its sad, but true). I thought I hit the critter with my car, stopped to see if it was dead and the damn thing hissed and spit at me, then chased me onto a rock wall. At least I didnt get rabies. Little thing was probably only 2 or 3 pounds. Take some pepper spray with you next time. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 1284 |
YAH! Pepper spray! And a cattle prod! Shock that skunk so she sprays herself! Notice I use "she", cause no self respecting male skunk would chase a monster! ------------------ Lobo | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
Awww, I couldnt pepper spray em either. I dont have the heart. I was on vacation, and a bird flew into my windshield and splattered... I was upset for almost an hour. But later I saw a guy on a ten speed misnegotiate a curb and fall over the handlebars. NOW THATS FUNNY! I know that is twisted logic, but to me seeing an animal get hurt is worse than seeing a person get hurt. A person can reason and has the logic to assess the situation. I just always picture animals being scared and bewildered because they dont understand whats happening to them. Yeah, thats me... animal lover, wimp, and momma's boy. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 688 |
I have just three words about pre-contest cardio : FUCK, FUCK, and FUCK! Now I have to get sweaty. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
The most ridiculous thing is that I live in a developed residential area. No forests or fields. This damn skunk came out of the bushes of someones HOUSE! WarLobo: Yeah, It probobly was a female skunk. With the amount of testosterone Im using, my pheremones must be readable for blocks!! (if only HUMAN females would start chasing me
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 278 |
Monster, your posts get funnier all the time. I still can't get the visual outta of my head of this huge, freaky motha getting chased by cute little forest creatures. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
I was thinking. If what I understand to be true is correct, a woman kissing a frog turns it into a prince! If I wrangle that skunk down and kiss it,it may turn into a princess! Of course its not a frog, its a skunk... mabye a skunk turns into a skank! Thatd be even better! Hmmm, out in the dark, testosterone enhanced, a skank in my grasp... cardio may take an interesting turn! I'll let everyone know how it goes! Man, I gotta go to bed before the call of the carbs gets to me. See my"Shameful Dieting Post"for details! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
The skunk thing didnt work out (lets never speak of it again). I guess I'll have to look elsewhere for skanks, or follow other routes for gratifying my nasty sexual habits (any ideas? volunteers?). | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 924 |
The mental image is TOO much...lol lol lol. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
I'm a volunteer WITH ideas | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! (remember, afterwards, tell all your friends. I work on a referal system) | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
skydancer: which image is too much? me kissing a skunk, or me gratifying my nasty sexual needs? I think Im offended. Mabye Im not, I may just be carb depleted and confused. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 144 |
I hope there was no tongue involved. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 924 |
All of it Monster...big strapping guy peddling like mad to get away from a rodent...kissing skunks in hope of getting some skank...crying at birds getting splattered and laughing at grown men taking a tumble...lol lol lol. What a man...great big freak who is sensative to boot! ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
skydancer: the marriage line is cueing up over on the Shameful Dieting thread. Get in now to reserve your seat! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 795 |
Too late, sky. Monster and I have already ordered the turtle cheesecake for our wedding cake. But we'll invite you to the wedding. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
Hmmm, isnt there somewhere in Utah where you can have more than one wife? Looks like time to hit the search engines. Im picturing a Monster Commune, me and my wives and a big on site gym... yeah... Lisa_the_Strong: your gonna have to apply for U.S. citizenship. MS and I will scout ahead. Skydancer, theres always room for one more! sassy, riptchick, we're waiting on you! (Hmmm, I may need to stay on cycle permanently. And Viagra might be in order. I have a "Satisfaction Or Your Money Back" guarantee, and if I ant put out, I may be in deep deep trouble.) *note to self: also do internet search on "bulk viagra discounts" | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 795 |
I've got some spare Yohimbe fuel I can bring to the party. Looks like Monster's found an alternative to biking for his cardio. Do they have skunks in Utah? [This message has been edited by MS (edited August 31, 2000).] | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
umm.....does that mean I have to share? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 144 |
Sorry you guys, youll have to practice your polygamy without me. But I will be more than willing to bring my videocamera and sell the videos via the internet  | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
Lisa: I was thinking you could go in shifts. Since youve shown so much enthusiasm, mabye you can be there for everyones shift. sassys: I like your entrepeneural spirit! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
SassyS: you're hired!!! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 924 |
I'm not in for marriage...just hard core training with that add'l cardio benefit  ...oh I'm a good cook (healthy of course) and I chase off skunks on the side with my 357. Hope this helps...------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
skydancer: youre right on time. With sassy out of the running (for the action sequence) there may be an available slot for you (hmmm, or from you?... never mind) The Shameful dieting post continues the story that is going here. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 144 |
Sky, I'll bring some of my "heat" also. Once all the Utah skunks hear Monster is coming to town, they'll probably have a convention in his honor. Monster.. polygamy, buff babes, video cameras.. jesus.. what else could you ask for? BTW.. whos paying for the groceries for this crew? Somebody beter have some big bucks saved. (I already have my job as videographer). | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
I figure a live internet feed of all the "action" should pay all the bills plus some! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 164 |
Just wait till you are chased by a Wild Turky!!  Pamela | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
Oh my god! I saw a wild turkey on vacation, and those s.o.b.s are UGLY! The damn thing was in a tree making all kinds of noise (I guess they cant flt, but they can kind of jump and flap and go up in a trees lower branches). These turkeys jump out of the tree and start chasing each other around. Ewww, that is a damn ugly bird. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
I call 'em Turkey Vultures.....they are even uglier then vultures....I saw a bunch while up north this summer..me and my sis-in-law (by marriage) had gone hiking and then blueberry picking, her and I enjoy the wilderness (I love to get dirty!)...anyhow, we came across a whole slew of them and we realized why they were there, it was becuase there was roadkill nearby......they are butt ugly creatures, not birds, creatures.....big as hell too!! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 534 |
Ok. You, your sister-in-law, off in the woods picking blueberries, enjoying being dirty. Mabye one of you falls... "oh, my blouse is stained with blueberry juice!" "let me help you take that off and get the stain out." ...as the shirt is lifted with assistance, breasts touch, funky music starts playing in the background, soon the shirt isnt the only thing with blueberry juice on it... Hey, did I just type that or think it... | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
Belive me Monster, if my sis-in-law (by marriage), was attractive to me, I would have talked to her about coochy coochy before.....but, alas, her diet consists of high fat/high carbs intake, and, she does not workout, so, you can imagine what she looks like. She aint fit, even if she can hike. Now, if you talk about me going hiking with my dentist's assistant, O boy, I hear that funky music now.... |
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posted August 30, 2000 03:47 PM
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