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 why can't women support each other....?
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| Author | Topic: why can't women support each other....? |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 196) |
posted June 22, 2000 11:42 AM
   This is really bothering me. I get 'put down' in many ways for taking care of myself. I was at my qi qong class last night and one of the ladies and I were discussing buying new pants and how they fit etc etc... Now, my body is obviously changing and my clothes are so baggy right now I look like a gang banger so I was joking about that and she said "OH, ARE YOU ON A DIET? HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?" (real sweet like) And I said no, I am eating more and better than I ever have in my life. Its the strength training... She said "OH MY - WELL WITH ALL YOU EAT YOU BETTER NOT STOP WORKING OUT! THEN YOU'LL JUST GET FAT" Aughhhh! I was so floored I didn't know what to say to that... Then from others I get "oh I hate you" "you are so thin" "what diet are you on". When I try to explain that I am WORKING MY BUTT off they don't want to hear it! Aughhh again! Do any of you experience this? What so you say to people like this? Why can't women say - wow you look great, you must be really taking care of yourself? Anyway - just wanted to vent. IP: Logged |
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Fish Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 410) |
posted June 22, 2000 12:02 PM
I have been tring to get my girlfriend to work out... she has the same attitude you are talking about. She will not eat anything but some carrots for days. She is skinny as hell, but not at all fit. I can not convince her that she should eat more and train some. Good Job for being fit!!! You must work your ass off to look like that. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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WarLobo Moderator (Total posts: 687) |
posted June 22, 2000 12:13 PM
You said the four-letter word - WORK. They don't want to hear it. They will make every excuse to avoid it. Will put down anyone who says they need to do it. And will despise anyone who DOES it. I try to look at this way. If they are bitching on how you look than you must be doing something RIGHT!!!! I do get this same type of question from guys but only, "How did you get like that?" Late Lobo IP: Logged |
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FitnessChick Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 850) |
posted June 22, 2000 12:38 PM
misconceptions run rampant......welcome to misinformed america.....people want to not eat, do aerobics till they are blue in the face, and use 2.5 lb. dmbll's for reps of 20 on exercises....and they think that will get them somewhere.....I hate seeing those same women give ME dirty looks cause I am in the gym pushing more weight then half the skinny twirps in the place..... UUUUGGGHHHH Dont even get me started again. IP: Logged |
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riptchick Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 86) |
posted June 22, 2000 12:45 PM
All I have to say is proof is in the pudding (or should I say protein)  I have ALWAYS found that one of two things happen with women like that:1. they eventually come around to the proper train of thought regarding strength training, protein consumption etc. or 2. They walk around spewing nonsense about how they will pack on way too much muscle if they do what your doing and live out the rest of their lives looking dumpy. Skydancer, it's human nature...ignore the unsupportive ones. You keep up the great work. I for one will support you. IP: Logged |
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Diablo's Xstasy Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 20) |
posted June 22, 2000 01:52 PM
You know what I think I used to be one of those people. And it's horrible to be that way. And all their comments are out of jelousy Skydancer. I used to be a 170lb heffer, huge cow and I hated women like you and I didn't want to do any work to be pretty and thin. Work was a horrible word to me. And in a way it still is. I'm just really learning the benefits from hard work and determination. And I am just learning the theories of "no pain no gain." My mom the 85lbs twig always said if it hurts you're doing it wrong. I used to listen and now I know better. I also am learning to enjoy that pain and look for it and when it doesn't happen I don't feel like Ive WORKed hard enough. I give you credit hun. I really do. All that hard work I am sure is paying off and foget them ignore them even cause they're just jelous!!! As for the worrying about getting too big part. I do that, we are all taught that there is this pinnical of feminism that we all have to be and bodybuilding is for men, that they are the only ones who are supposed to have big buldging muscles. I, myself am trying to get past that theory in building my own muscles, but I admit sometimes I do worry that I am going to get too big, but my theory is I'll cross that bridge when i get to it. And hey as long as I dont get bigger then my man I have no problems and I dont think I will considering he's 6'6 265lbs... Anyways Sky you're doing great and dont let them push you around and get you all upset!!!!!!!! Good going for you!!!!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
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MS Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 346) |
posted June 22, 2000 02:41 PM
Skydancer You look great, you must be really taking care of yourself. What can I do to look like you? P.S. Is it possible to find more supportive friends to hang out with? (other than us) ------------------ IP: Logged |
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BigPappa Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 338) |
posted June 22, 2000 02:42 PM
Skydancer: How come your colleague, Dlady, posts a pic but you haven't???? IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 34) |
posted June 22, 2000 02:56 PM
I feel fat. I have been a size 0 - 2 for the last three years. I shopped in children's clothing store to get pants small enougn to fit. I desperately wanted to grow. I wanted REAL muscles (not the sad excuse I had) BUT I was so terrified of getting fat that I trained - weight-trained till I couldn't no more AND did cardio min 5 days a week - on max 1,200 calories! So you can imagine how impressive I was!!!!(Then I woke up.) I was treated like some kind of goddess at my gym because I was a resident skinny chick, had some little muscles but nothing that would even remotely make the puniest of guys nervously leave the free-weight area when I was working out close by. The answer: I was fortunate enough to travel in circles were I saw women from a wide age range at different stages of developmnet and thought, "DAMN, I WANNA BE HER!" I don't want to be skinny chick. So I bit the bullet and packed on some weight, ate, belched, farted, pee-ed and shit like a guy and was now able to train like a freaking animal. GUESS WHAT?! It worked! I got me some groovy muscles and now a lot of guys nervously "wander away" - others stare part admiration, part no fucking way - that chick is a freak! (I'm talking intensity, not side-show freak.) It was so hard when a lot of people (most of the trainers ESPECIALLY) were laughing at me for "getting fat" and who was I to think that little old me could ever compete in of all things a BB Show? On top of everything else, my dearest friend who fell into that lean-for-life trap, never competed just got down to like 0% bodyfat and stayed there for 2 years - and still is sasly, was being worshipped by all and I was left standing there with people giving UNSOLICITED advice on what I should do to lose weight. I was like, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? LOSE WEIGHT, I WANT TO GAIN! Mind you I'm 5'4" and only got up to 125lbs. Yea, that's REAL FAT. So, I went to a hardcore gym (owned by NPC judge) and got myself the guidance and positive reinforcement that I needed to make my dream come true. Now,again, I've bulked up cause I've got to gain more mass if I want to be competitive. I have an entire wardrobe that doesn't fit, cause my ass is just too damned big! SO WHAT! BB Chicks HAVE ASSES! It's the summer and I'M FUCKING FAT - But do I REALLY want to exist on chicken, broccoli and yams? NO! Do I REALLY want to do double cardio sessions? NO! Why? Cause I want to build mass in order to compete again in OCT. I'll have 12 fucking weeks of canned tuna and brown rice. Now I WANT TO EAT SOME RING DINGS AND HO-HO'S TOO! Some asshole in the pansy-ass gym where I train regularly just pointed out to me "...but you've lost your cuts." No Fucking joke you Fucking MORON! You have to put on some cheese to grow! "Bulking up, to me, is not a diet change, rather a change in your training technique i.e. you lift heavier with less reps." DAH! If I eat more, I'll get stronger, so I can go heavier and get bigger. "Muscle growth has nothing to do with diet" At this point I smiled, let him finish his thought, and walked away thinking, "You have GOT to be one of the BIGGEST FUCKING IDIOTS THAT I HAVE TALKED TO IN A LEAST THREE MINUTES - (There are a lot of them at my gym)." I'm OK with stupid bitches and jealous pencil-dicked morons who only WISH they could touch this, but it still gets on my FUCKING ONE LAST NERVE! By the way, all the scoffers and nay-sayers either run away and hide when they see me coming or they actually ASK ME for diet, supplement and training advice! Success is the sweetest revenge and DUDES I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! IP: Logged |
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MrMuscle Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 940) |
posted June 22, 2000 02:59 PM
This is not a "women only" phenomenom either. i get this every bloody day. every time i bring out my food people go "eeeww" and "again??" i have NO support whatsover around me. peole just laugh at me, or shake theire head at me. and now that im (finally) am getting big, the first thing i hear is "Well if i did steroids id be big as well" and "what about when you stopp training, you are going to get reaaaally fat"..yeah, what the hell does these people know about training? NOTHING... im glad i have you, you are my brothers and sisters...hell, even my parents thinks im a lost cause.. ------------------ "...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 196) |
posted June 22, 2000 03:14 PM
BigPappa - because I am not where I want to be at yet. I'm taking the advice of one of the ladies here and when I hit "it" I want to treat myself to some professional photos...then maybe I'll share if your REAL sweet to me. Where's yours? Hmmm? IP: Logged |
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IronChick Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 14) |
posted June 22, 2000 03:35 PM
Sky - Don't let it bother you. Just know in your mind it is just the level they are at. There's many different levels and they haven't reached yours, yet. The questions people ask usually indicate where they are at. We all have to go through the different stages to get to where we are at. Also, there will always be those women who feel very threatened by other women's progress. This is too bad. Women do need to be more supportive of each other. I don't know what you look like or where you've come from, but it sounds like you are progressing, in any case. I support any female who is working hard and on the right track. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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CONAN Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 4) |
posted June 22, 2000 03:45 PM
The bottom line is 98% of people are lazy. And because of this they feel down about themselves when they see someone making an improvement in their lives, bodies, relationships, whatever. So many times people will come up and ask, "How can I look like that?"...when you tell them, or even begin to tell them, they get that look. You know the one. That your either crazy or stupid or lying. Even when they see you doing exactly what you told them they still won't even try to duplicate your actions. There has to be a simpler way after all right ( I mean, do I really have to sweat?)? You just have to take the negative energy and turn it into accolades. After all, the joke is on them. They are ripping on you, yet they look like sh!t. IP: Logged |
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JayeLynn Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 154) |
posted June 22, 2000 03:47 PM
you'd be amazed at how quiet it gets when they figure out that you don't give a rats ass what they think about what you're doing. Coming to grips with my body came in my own time and personal space. Nobody fucks with me. ....especially now. and the last guy that gave me shit about my diet found an empty (unrinsed) can of tuna in one of his desk drawers upon returning from vacation. A little moxy and self-esteem goes a long way, and you don't have to wait until you've achieved perfection by anyone's standards. Well Bikinkmom, I must say I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in ya ------------------ IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 196) |
posted June 22, 2000 03:56 PM
Damn BMom- Lobo was right about you...you are a major live wire! Woohooo - we need more of you in the female race... Thank you everyone for your kind words and support...I truly appreciate it. And very glad to know that I am not alone. Revenge is truly sweet....he he....just you wait! IP: Logged |
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FitnessChick Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 850) |
posted June 22, 2000 04:02 PM
hey bikinimon...i see you are from nj...you wouldnt happen to train at muscle mill would ya..... IP: Logged |
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Dawn Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 45) |
posted June 22, 2000 09:44 PM
What really gets me is when you hear someone who is overweight say that they dont work out because they dont want to get too "big" and look like a man. Im sorry, but in no manner what so ever do I look like a man because I have some muscle tone. Since I started working out, I think I look sexier than I ever have before IP: Logged |
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Temple Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 7) |
posted June 22, 2000 10:50 PM
I too am catching the same crap from my family - brotherinlaw asked whats with all the protein powder is she trying to turn into one of those muscle chicks, my sister constantly cautions me against lift...do they really think that you toss around a couple of dumbells and accidentally wake up one morning looking like Ms. O? On the other hand I have a husband, son and best friend who are constantly supporting me right down to the nasty looks I get when they think I'm going to put something in my mouth that I shouldn't, pushing and goading me into working harder and my friend even cooks meals according to what I can eat when I am at her house. Oh, and my favorite comment of the week "your face is looking thinner" - for Christs sake I've lost 35#!!!!! Okay, I'm done now. IP: Logged |
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tkotracy Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 10) |
posted June 22, 2000 11:17 PM
Jealous unhappy people are everywhere, I've tried to take on the mindset that "Thank God I don't have to feel so unsure of myself that I talk about or down to other people so that in return I can feel better about myself." I am 29, 6 ft, 155 lbs., and mother of two, too often I walk by people and hear "too tall, too muscular, gotta be a man", "no, just someone who works hard and lives healthy" IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 196) |
posted June 22, 2000 11:26 PM
well, I just have to say I had a redeeming experience this evening. I go to a massage therapist once a month as a treat - I have for almost 2yrs now. So I had one tonight, went in, got undressed, got on the table, sheet over my hips. She walks in and says "oh my god - you back is absolutely cut! I can't believe the change from last month! You are working hard and its happening so fast" *chuckle* Made me feel great and made me forget about all the other idiots. Just wanted to share... IP: Logged |
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JayeLynn Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 154) |
posted June 22, 2000 11:27 PM
I grew up a tomboy and my mother had her hands full. She was a pretty unhappy person through my childhood and took it out on me quite a bit: I wasn't petite: wasn't feminine: was too intellectual, etc. I'll tell you what satisfaction looks like. I met my mother at my house a few weeks ago to attend an art show I had an exhibit in. Her jaw hit the floor and all she could say was something like "holy shit..." when she saw me step out of my pickup in a miniskirt; dressed to the nines. That ladies, is the ultimate revenge. I have the body she has only dreamed of. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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RACHANN Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 16) |
posted June 22, 2000 11:35 PM
SINCE I'M REALLY LEARNING ALOT ABOUT HOW MUSCLES BURN, YES BURN MOM)FAT I WANT MORE. IT TOOK AWHILE THOUGH. SINCE I WAS FAT IN MY PREVIOUS LIFE, IT REALLY TOOK ALOT FOR ME TO GET USED TO THE FACT THAT IT IS NORMAL TO WEIGH 145# AND WEAR A SIZE 7 IF YOU LIFT. NO ONE BELIEVES MY WEIGHT. AND, FOR THE LONGEST TIME ALL I HEARD WAS THAT I LOOKED TOO THIN.UNFORTUNATLY, I LIKED HEARING THAT TOO. I NOW AM AT THE POINT WHERE I WANT TO GROW. I REMEMBER A WOMAN ALSO SAYING THAT I HAD BETTER NEVER STOP LIFTING WEIGHTS OR I'D GET FAT FROM ALL THAT I ATE AND THAT SCARED LITTLE MISINFORMED ME SO I STARTED LIFTING EVERYDAY AND DIETING TO EXTREMES. YEAH, REAL INTELLIGENT. I'M LEARNING. I GUESS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME IS THAT I'M NOW JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS MYSELF INSTEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE. I THINK I'VE COME A LONG WAY AND NOW I'M READY FOR A HELL OF ALOT MORE. YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY SONG ON THIS BOARD.I HAVE A SUPPORT OF ZERO. MY MAN JUST THINKS I'M OBSESSED WITH MY BODY. HE ALSO BELIEVES THAT SINCE HE DOES CONSTUCTION, HE WORKS OUT EVERYDAY. HE DOES ALWAYS TELL ME HE LOVES MY BODY AND HE DID GET ME A WORKOUT MACHINE AND FREE WEIGHTS SO I SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING TOO MEAN ABOUT HIM BUT HE PISSES ME OFF WHEN HE SAYS THINGS HE DOESN'T KNOW AND IF I TELL HIM HE'S WRONG, HE WON'T STOP. THATS NOT WHAT I NEED. BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO SHARES MY PASSIONS AND THATS WHY I LIVE ON THIS BOARD. IP: Logged |
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masterhunker Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 13) |
posted June 23, 2000 11:20 AM
bikinimom-if I wasn't straight, I'd ask you to marry me. YOU ROCK! IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 335) |
posted June 23, 2000 11:45 AM
BikiniMom, I just wanted to let you know that after reading your post on here, I printed it out and I am going to go home and put it up on my fridge with "my goals". This way anytime I think that because I am eating means I am going to get fat, your post will prove me wrong and keep me on the right track so that I can reach my goals. Thank you so much for writing what you did, it really hits home! IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 34) |
posted June 23, 2000 04:46 PM
I'm so glad that I could help. You all really made my day. You are all very kind. Thank you. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let anyone put you down. When all the nonsense-talking idiots get me down with their mean comments something my mother used to tell me puts it all into perspective. She would say, "Sweetheart, you shouldn't feel bad when people talk about you. They only do it because they envy you. You should feel bad when they STOP talking about you, because now they only pity you." FitnessChick I have trained in MuscleMill. I'm trying to get over there more often to train with another slammin' musclemom. I regularly train at Gold's in Princeton or WOW in No Brunswick. Where do you train? Aren't you up from No Jersey? You at Strong N Shapely? Are you one of KK's girls? IP: Logged |
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WonderWoman Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 91) |
posted June 23, 2000 07:10 PM
Well ya'll I waited as long as I could to check this thread out. Holy Shit!! At this point all there is to say is keep on rolling!! Get as big,strong,sexy,sassy,lean,mean,full-o-attitude,kickin' ass and takin' names as you want or can. My motto is BIGGER,BETTER,FASTER,MORE!!! For those who can't handle what 'real women'look like, FUCK EM!!! Sorry for the cussin, I'm just feelin' a bit revved up from all the shit that folks are throwing at my sisters and brothers of iron out there in the world. WW IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 196) |
posted June 23, 2000 07:55 PM
okay WW - now you got me all fired up and I wanna go lift some more...but I've already done it for today..  Well, 5am isn't that far off so I guess I can wait....IP: Logged |
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