-there is pantera or metallica blaring in the background(the kid who works the front desk bought his cds in to assure noone is subjected to cheesy music)

-they have a chalk pit, and encourage liberal use of it!

-there are pics of winners of BB shows plastered all over the walls

- did I mention that they have a chalk pit...

-the owner brings his rotty in to hang out in the gym

-they have a posing room

-people who use it actually know how to pose

-they sell protan & posing oil at the counter

-there are dmblls that go up to 220

-there are people who actually use them!

-grunting ands yelling arent frowned upon because it "may scare others away or intimidate them"

-2/3 of the people who train there have drinken a tuna shake before....and the rest at least know what it is.... ewwww....

-AC...what AC....that means you cant heat up as easily....bad bad bad!!!!!

-due to that lack of ac, the raised cardio area is at least 150 degrees in the summertime....

-the machines can pass for antiques, but thats okay, because they have all the freeweights you need to get big..

--the owner can and will recommend a good cycle for growth!

-If you work for that same owner & you decide to do a bb show, he will bring you all your meals when you are working at his gym.

-you can get a membership by the month, without any obligations and without sitting through any b.s. sales lecture...for 29$ a month...

-there is no cheesy aerobics room, & no cheesy classes

-they have a board posting best lifts for the squat, bench press, & deadlift

-the most used pieces of equiptment are the power racks...

.....hmmmmm, anymore, anyone...

[This message has been edited by FitnessChick (edited December 12, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by FitnessChick (edited December 12, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by FitnessChick (edited December 12, 2000).]

Not only are these signs of hardcore, but this is actually my gym!

*Chalk is not only allowed, but PROVIDED!

*The owner is a master champion

*There are only 5 or 6 pieces of cardio equipment, and half are broke most of the time.

*Nothing is as funny as seeing an old fat woman look into a membership and seeing the look on her face while being shown around and Rob Zombie is playing.

*Boxes for box squats (home made) and CHAINS!

*The 200lb dumbell handles are worn from being used.

*2 machines, which are used to hang towels on more than to work out on.

*the aerobics room is small and deathly hot and crammed in a little closet-type room in a corner.

*you can actually BUY a locker for personal use in the small dungeon like locker room.

*they have a home made powerlifting corner with padding on the floors.

*5 squat racks!

*a pressing bench made for 600+lbs of weight.

*members include 4 ranking bodybuilders, 8 competing bodybuilders, 13 powerlifting competitors, and the world record holder for bench pressing (he just got the record with a 660lb. bench) and the second place bench record holder (617lbs.), 2 competing female bodybuilders, and 1 freaky, ugly, angry son of a fuck named Monster.

*A/C? Open a window. Heat? Close the window.

*its built in a building that was a small grocery store, the little cardio area is where the attic storage was.

*Grunting??? If you get out of there without hearing at least three dozen obcenities, you must have had headphones on! (ok ok. 3/4 of the obcenities are out of my mouth...)

*youll see people eating oatmeal from a bowl for carbs while sitting on a bench.

*the "showers" are actually a couple of home stall showers slapped up against the wall.

*...did I mention Monster?

Its a nice place to visit, and dammit Id live there if they let me! If I was gay Id ask the guy to marry me, just so I could spend my free time there (and not have it look so pathetic).

*sigh* Its time for bed, and dammit, I wnt to go back to the gym now.

------------------
It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to believe it.

They have a video tape of pumping iron playing in the only TV in the gym.

The only dress code rule posted is "NO SPANDEX"

They have up front parking for Harley Riders (well, I did have SOMETHING to do on this one )

Some of the bars are bent - AND guys have their named etched in it when they bent it.

You have a selection of 55lbs bars to squat with.

There is a life size poster of Arnold hanging over the curl rack.

There is a life size poster of Tom Platz hanging over the squat rack.

Everyone has a gallon jug of water.

The only pair of weight gloves in the display rack has an inch of dust on it.

On the front desk there is a copy of WAR with the pages nearly disintegrated.

------------------
LAte

may I add...

-ALL the clothes AND gloves for display have an inch of dust on them

-workboots & jeans are the accepted gym apparel

-You are allowed to make your own shakes

-there are at least 10 100 lb. plates floating around the gym

-the powercage is the most used piece of equiptment in the gym

-there is an enormous bent nail & a license plate that was torn in half hanging on the wall..(done by one of the members in the gym one day)

-there is a stack of mags by the ancient cardio equiptment that dates back to 1975

The equipment's padding looks mysteriously like layers of duct tape.

There are no gym dues.

The only thing on the walls are state records charts.

Some of the equipment is being scoped out by Antique Roadshow hosts. Lead filled barbells.

(great thread, FC)

1. There's only 1 SQUAT RACK.

2. More machines than free weights.

3. Has NO dumbbells over 130.

4. Has fat/small/weak trainers telling members how to eat and train.

5. Has old descreped ass' that get in your way on stuff like the bench where they are doing sets with the bar.

6. Has like 10 fucking treadmills, 10 stairsteppers, 10 stationary bikes that are always full with people reading papers/books.

7. Those same trainers do like 3 hours of cardio a day and still look like fat pears.

8. Too many cable machines.

9. Has them damn clean-up people that are always getting in my damn way.

10. Full of bastards that like to walk in front of the mirror between your sets and don't uderstand why you get pissed.

11. Them same people ask you stupid questions in the middle of your set.

12. Full of 5 Fucking O's.

13. Pictures? Yeah, pictures of Buttmunches BODY-FOR-LIFE and Myoplex boxes that line the wall.

14. The biggest arms in the gym are those of probably mine, which are pretty sad right now.

15. The restrooms are clean of course.

16. Everyone looks at you and says to the person next to them "that guy does steroids".

17. Oh yeah, them damn trainers are always telling people not to do the full range of motion because it is bad for you.

18. All the guys in the gym that wear skindex pants have smaller legs than my arms.

19. Got to throw in them damn guys that walk around with their hair all perfect hitting on all the girls.

20. It's a 24 hour Fitness.

Just in case you arent sure, here are a few more ways too tell your gym is for pansy asses...

-there are at least a dozen signs ont he walls, including...
-Please rack your weights
-no dropping dumbeels---memberships will be suspended
-no shakes on the workout floor
-no gum chewing on workout floor
-no coffee on the workout floor(yes i actually saw this in a gym)
-only water is allowed on workout floor(hello...is this a bit repetitive)
-no workboots or jeans may be worn while training, proper workout attire is required
-vulgarities will not be tolerated
-anyone found using or selling illegal substances will be turned into the proper authorities

-they play either techno or elevator music at very very low levels

-their areobics area is bigger then their free weights area

-they actually have a juice bar menu(like in a resturant)

-they sell more smoothies at that juice bar then protein shakes

-they have any of the following
-a spin room
-an abs room
-one or, OH GOD, more then 1 aerobics room
- a pool
-a racketball area
-an indoor b ball area (seen that too)
-fat ass trainers who come over & tell you you are starting to lose your feminity
-trainers who allow people to bounce weight off of their chest plate wile charging them 40+ dollars an hour for "one on one training"
-they sell an array of spandex clothing and myoplex in every flavor & size packaging imaginable, but dont know what pro tan or posing oil are.
-the walls are bare of any contest pics or BB autographed pics, rather they opt for ads for the gyms own chiropractor, beauty salon, and 10 bed tanning salon
-the dmblls dont go above 120
-your boyfriend is the only guy using them & is able to rep them out
-you talk to the gym manager because you see that they have the weights to put bigger dmblls together, they just need to do it---his response is that he doesnt want to because it "intimidates" the other members..
-you have to sit through a big initiation speach with Tony, the resident salesrep(1 of 7), who tells you mmbrshps are 350$ down &55 a month...you quicly ell him he must be smoking crack & he is miracuously able to work out a deal....

-Christmas fitness packs available at reception for your loved ones

-Maximum of 20 minutes on cardio equipment during peak times (which is all the time, but who cares!)

-Personal trainers have priority over equipment

-Book now for our special seminar on how to use the swiss ball for training abs

-childcare facilities

-Safety collars must be used on all freeweight bars. NO EXCEPTIONS

-The only water available to fill your water bottle is chilled so cold it cracks your teeth

Full service restaurant
day spa
TAILOR!
LEATHER SPECIALIST (ie cobbler)
ON_SITE DRYCLEANING while you work out
one has valet parking
Rotary climbing walls where perfectly good squat cages could be
--neither have squat cages
both provide clean towels, shampoo, conditioner,cologne and hand cream in the pristine shower areas
Both have indoor tennis courts
both have racquet ball courts
one has internet access while you do cardio
one has an indoor track
neither have DBs over 100#