Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your Dick?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A. Its Braille for "suck here."

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
A. Lipstick.

Q. Why do women have breasts?
A. So men will talk to them.

Q. What's the difference between a woman & a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women
wild?
A. Money.

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence.

Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q. Why did God create woman?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. (A NEW
CLASSIC!)

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true
love?
A. The swallow.

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
A. Phone her.

Q. Why do women fake orgasms?
A. Because they think men care.

Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak [whole week..!]

Q. How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Q. What's the difference between premenstrual tension and B.S.E?
A. One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.

Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.

Q. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothing, she's been told twice already.

Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it!

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. What are the three fastest means of communication?
A. 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Telawoman

Q. Why do hunters make the best lovers?
A. Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Q. What should you give a woman who has everything?
A. A man to show her how to work it.

Q. Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Q. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.