-PSX2 starts selling for $700 on eBay.
-Lions squeak out a win past NE.
-Backstreet Boys new album breaks some stupid record that none of us care about.
-Big Black Cock is assinated by someone named Small White Penis.

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Captain will attempt flying camel on next date and will be bitch slapped.

Johnny O will taste-test various brands of mushroom soup.

Sweat Pea will break out of her shell and become a Dominatrix.

Havoc will be high.

Bikinimom will get even hotter.

And Finally,

Thick Dawg will attempt the flying camel on some various forms of jungle life, only to be bitch slapped in return.

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Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It realizes that it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It realizes that it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death.

The moral?

In an insane rage special bill will molest the turkey during dinner as his family watches in horror, that he forgot to use a condom.

Thick Dawg will try to get laid by a fat chick at closing time late thursday night!

Rotten will become a daddy and his hell spawn will be unleashed on the earth.