The first man comes in for his interview.
FBI AGENT: "Do you see that room over there? In that room is your wife and your young daughter. <hands him a .44> Take this gun and go in that room and kill your wife and your daughter."
FIRST MAN: "I'm sorry, I could never kill my own wife and daughter. I guess I'm just not the right guy for the job."

So, the second guy comes in for the interview.
FBI AGENT: "Do you see that room over there? In that room is your new wife. <Hands him the .44> Take this gun and go into that room and kill your wife. If you can do that, you are the man for the job."

The second guy goes into the room. There was a long silence. Finally he comes out with tears in his eyes and says, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I'm just not the man for the job."

Finally, the third guy arrives for his interview.
FBI AGENT: "Do you see that room over there? In that room is your wife of ten years. <Again, hands him the .44> Take this gun and go in that room and blow your wife away. If you can do that, you are the man we are looking for."

The third guy snaps up the gun and bolts for the room. There is silence...and then...four shots are fired off consecutively. Another pause...then BLAM! BLAM! WHAM! BLAM! There were several more loud crashes, and finally the third guy comes out of the room.

FBI AGENT: "What the hell went on in there!"
THIRD GUY: "You didn't tell me that this gun was filled with fucking blanks! I had to beat the bitch with the chair!"

"Did you hear that Monica Lewinski voted Republican this time around??"

"Really?? Why?"

"She said the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth."

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Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It realizes that it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It realizes that it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve to death.

The moral?