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 Help me understand please....
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| Author | Topic: Help me understand please.... | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 389 |
Bro's and Bro's ettes. I met a girl that works for the same company as I do at a work function about 4 months ago. She had a boyfriend at the time so I backed off but a few weeks after that they broke up and due to the fact we talk on a daily basis and email back and forth all day I kind of slid in and we were talking about getting together. Well I live 4 hours away and I am actually moving back to where I was currently at and where she is located. So she knows this and we start seeing each other about 3 months ago on the weekends and what not. She would come to see me I would go see her. We continued this but about 2 weeks ago she came to see me and after spending the weekend together told me she had feelings of falling in love. I was like cool because I really dig this chick. Well last weekend I go back to see her. Everything is cool Friday night. Saturday day we are clowning around at her house and she whispers to me she is in love with me. I did not know what to say so I just hugged her. Well we get a room that night at a hotel just to swim hang out and shit. I put some moves on her but did not screw her. She has only been with 1 guy. And she is only 21. Well I dont know what happened. Come Sunday I drop her off and she says call me when you are done watching football. I do and she tells me she has plans with a girlfriend for the evening. I am like no biggie call me later. Well she calls and tells me she does not want to continue this anymore. She feels things are moving to fast and she cant believe she has these feelings for me. I was like WTF and I said ok. She says Bye. I call her back and say i am confused she said she does not want to talk about it. So I email her on Tuesday wanting an explanation, just some answers. Her only reply I cant explain it, it is nothing you did, I just want friends at this time. So I email her and say ok, obviously you were playing a game or did not mean anything you ever told me. My question is how can she go from 1 extreme to the other in 10 hours. I dont know if I went to far by going down her pants or what. I know when she was little I think a older man may have sexually assaulted her from the way she talks but we never got into it. Sorry so long but any advice on helping me understand would help. I mean she talked about future events, spoiling me for Christmas and then wham. I thought if I was going to far intimantly she would have stopped me right. I just dont get it.    | ||
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Freak 
Posts: 1697 |
She is basically a relationship virgin! She say "I love you", You say "I love you too" and the world is wonderful and makes sense. She say "I love you", you say "Thanks!", she thinks fuck him, the dick doesn't love me! I was going to blow him! Now he can bite my ass and not the fun way either! Good luck dude. ------------------  | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
I forgot to mention Saturday Night I bought her a rose and told her I was falling for her too. So let me get this straight. Girl says I love you. Boy goes home to shower up for the night, picks her up and tells her than the same thing. They spend the night together again, having a blast. Take her home Sunday morn. 8 o'clock rolls around and then she wants nothing. I am at a loss!! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Don't sweat it. It's nothing you did. And there is probably nothing you can say or do to change the circumstance. This is on her. The best thing you can do in this situation is back off - way off, and give her time to realize what she's missing out on. If you act clingy or needy or demanding, that is just going to push her further away. I know it's frustrating, but the best thing you can do is show her that you are OK without her and still confident about yourself -- and that you truly believe that there are other fish out there for you. It sounds like she is going through withdrawl from her previous relationship. She needs time to get over the feelings she had for the OM. Don't do anything calculated or for the reason that you want to get a response. Just act how you feel, you've probably already said everything, she knows how you feel, and all you'll be doing is repeating yourself. Stay strong, she'll come around. She just needs time and space right now -- don't crowd her. Good luck bro. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Wodin and Truck, Thanks boys. The thing with her other man is they only dated for like 2 months or something. Then she shit canned him and started talking to me. I know he fuckin calls her all the time still. He did when I was back like 3 times, and she just tells me he cant get a clue. He is a skinny little nerd. I have backed way off. I will be moving back in a few weeks and will actually be working very close to her. My intentions are to never say more than hi to her, I dont even want to do that but I dont want to be that guy either! | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1697 |
Yeah Big C, sounds like she is wacked in the head and has no real world experiences. If it were me, I would follow trucks advise and take a breather from her. Plenty of pooty out there bro. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 460 |
I'm with BT on this one. I think that she may have just scared herself. No sane indivudual wants to believe that the fling they are going through is a rebound. If there's anything there worth having, it will still be there after the dust settles. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 568 |
Big C - leave her alone. I know it's hard but I think the best thing to do here is just act like it does not bother you. If you pester her and try to find out what happened she'll probably throw you in the same boat as the other guy who "doesn't have a clue." if she really does love you then she'll wake up and smell the coffee and wonder what she was thinking. If she doesn't, fuck it, go get yourself 5 other girls and you'll forget about her. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
I hear what you all are saying but my thing is that she only dated the guy for 2 months. She then dumped him as she said he just did not do it for her. I just dont buy the fact that i was a rebound, when she told her friends even before they broke up that she could not get me off of her mind. Any other thoughts? | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 862 |
Should have had sex with her, Young girls are flakey. Go for an older woman. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
JD, it is not like I did not want too. I just knew she did not want to move too fast so i held back as hard as it was. I have not tried to contact her. I just cant quit thinking about it. I wonder what is going through her head, What happened all of that shit! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
What is her relationship history? If her pattern is being with people for short amounts of time then, harsh as it may seem, you may just be another conquest. Perhaps the game was up when you told her you had feelings for her. Perhaps that's her thrill and after she has you it gets boring... I don't know, she probably doesn't either. It sounds like, in the back of your mind, that age was an issue anyway. Look at it this way -- what has she done to show you that she is capable enough - emotionally and otherwise - to sustain a long-term relationship? Is it really her that is attractive to you, or the idea of being with somebody new and young? Do you see her for who she really is or do you make a lot of excuses for her behavior? You're not even seriously seeing her yet and she's already messing with you. I think you should move on. There ARE plenty of women out there and one of them is sure to be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You stay with her on her terms (instead of being equal) and pretty soon you will think less of yourself. Suck it up and move on, it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Sometimes, things just don't make sense. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Truck, I have already decided to just put it behind me and leave it up to what is meant to be will be. I guess I just am digging for answers. She had a long term relationship for 3 years she ended about a year ago. And then this guy that she dated for 2 months and then me. If she was playing games why did it just end bing bang boom?? I mean she was planning on bringing me to her Christmas with her family, and I mean I met her parents and hung out with them and all. Why would she bring me around her family if her intentions of a commitment were not there?? | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Sorry, I have to bump this for more input! Dlady, Fitness1 anyboody?? | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1321 |
My ex-girlfriend freaked me out by telling me she loved me after a month and introduced me at a party as the person she was going to marry. As she started trying to be more controlling I started pushing her away and we broke up after only 4 months. Now, I'm sure she hates me. Estrogen is a strange hormone. | ||
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Guru 
Posts: 2004 |
PERSONAL STORY- MEET GIRL 8 MONTHS AGO, DATE 1 MONTH AND SLEEP TOGETHER... NEXT DAY SHE IS REGRETTING IT (LIKE YOURS, ONLY 20 AND 1 OTHER GUY) ANYWAY, I SAY FUCK IT AND LEAVE... WE START TALKING AGAIN ABOUT HAVING THINGS GO BACK TO HOW THEY WERE.... WE SEE EACH OTHER AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, BOOM, SACK AGAIN... NO REGRETS THIS TIME... MAKE SENSE? ANYWAY, MORAL OF THE STORY, CHICKS HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHAT THEY WANT... THEY NEED TO BE REASSURED AT ALL TIMES... THEY ARE LIKE, WELL, LITTLE GIRLS... DONT BEG, BE NICE, BE HER FRIEND, BE WHAT SHE WANTS AND WHEN SHE REALIZES ALL THAT SHIT WASNT A MISTAKE, YOUR BACK IN... THIS TIME SLEEP WITH HER THOUGH | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Thanks to all. I guess I will wait it out. If it was meant to be it will happen. Something freaked her out and i just wish I knew. I guess I may never but at least I will know she was not the one! | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1762 |
OKAY BIG C I AM HERE FOR A BIT. FIRST OF ALL I THOUGHT BEFORE I EVEN READ THIS "WHAT DID HE GO AND DO NOW" HEEHEE ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS; WHAT YOU ALREADY SAID YOURSELF, SERIOUSLY LOOK AT ALL THE POSTS I WROTE ABOUT ME AND MY 2-SIDED AFFAIR THAT WAS GOING ON, SOONER OR LATER YOU MIGHT WIN OR LOSE, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHANCES AND I REALIZE THAT NOW. AND YOU TOOK A CHANCE NOW, DO WHAT MY BF DID AND LET HER GO, IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE , SHE WILL COME BACK TO YOU. I HATED TO SAY THAT, BUT REALLY THERE ISNT ANYTHING YOU CAN DO. SHE HAS TO HAVE TIME AWAY FROM YOU TO MISS YOU AND REALIZE YOU ARE WHAT SHE WANTS IN HER LIFE. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 274 |
I wouldn't be surprised if she was seeing someone else while she was seeing you. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1046 |
you may just be a fuck to her. Alas a bad one, you never know. | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1762 |
JAE, ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS MISERABLE, AND MEAN... HE SAID SHE ONLY SLEPT WITH ONE GUY, HE NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER YET! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Yeah Jae. J/k. I never slept with her. She looked me in the eye on Saturday also and said "Why are you so perfect" I said i am far from perfect, She says well you are perfect in my eyes cuz I would not change a thing. And this is how you treat someone that is supposed to be perfect for you?? | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 598 |
Damn man, quit tourturing yourself. It really sounds like she is just not emotionally developed -- she's not ready. It's not your fault. It sucks. Like I said, sometimes things don't make sense. Nobody on here is going to be able to tell you what you WANT to hear. Quit killing yourself over it. Find a way to distract yourself for awhile -- check out some personal ads on the net or something... Bottom line, quit dwelling -- it won't help. All it will do is make you crazy. Take a moment right now and say to yourself "I am better than this" "I deserve better than this" "I CAN do better than this" Take it a moment at a time, after awhile, you'll look back and see how out of proportion you made this with yourself. Be strong bro. Be good to yourself. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 389 |
Thanks Truck, Your right. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 135 |
Man watch out for the trap, I had almost same thing, but I persisted for an explaination, and she basically told me to fuck off after I bugged for a week.. Take it easy, let her come to you. |
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posted November 16, 2000 11:57 AM
AACK!!!
THAT WAY IF SHE DUMPS YOU YOU CAN AT LEAST SAY YOU GOT YOURS.