bump for good fart stories

Anyway, I walk over, wait till the guy finishes his set of barbell curls (sigh), and politely ask how many sets he and his buddy have left. I am told that they each have 2 sets left, and are then going to do upright rows! Wtf???

I figure that I might as well stretch while I wait for these clowns to finish fooling around. Suddenly, I feel "it" coming on. I had consumed over 80g of protein and nearly 150g carbs in the 2 and a half hour timespan prior to arriving at the gym, and I felt that it was time to let it loose.

A casual walk-by turned into a hit-and-run as I let loose a vicious (yet silent) protein fart from Hell. Less than 10 seconds later, the fuckers cleared out and took their silly exercises elsewhere.

Oh yeah, and I set that PR. =)

About a year ago I was staying in a hotel room in New Orleans with my then-girlfriend. She was asleep and I was falling asleep, but still awake. She was laying on me in the typical "sleeping together" position - her head on my chest and the rest of her wrapped around me....

Anyway we were both sleeping naked...which is when farts are the nastiest - no interference with the diffusion.

I felt a bomb emerging, and I figured I'd let it rip. I knew it would be a killer. So I gently pulled the sheet up over her head and dropped the bomb. It was incredible, how bad that smelled.

I had to share it. So I rolled over away from her, which I knew would wake her up. It did. This left her awake, with her had under the covers, and me with my back to her. Rolling away made it appear as if the covers going over her head was unintentional. I pretended to be asleep as she discovered the stench.

Immedicately she shook me to wake me up. I acted like I was just waking up from a slumber, and before she could say anything, I grabbed my nose and said, "Holy shit! Did you do that?"

She was like "I don't know I was sleeping". I said, "well so was I"...so not only did I bomb her, I made her take the blame.