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Author Topic:   Going Stag to my Xmas Party..
kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:39 AM

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And it's my birthday that day too.
Its sort of a mandatory event at our work and the BF has stated categorically, he's not going.
Now, normally this doesn't bother me, I've gone by myself a couple of times, but geeeez. It IS my birthday, and though I would never force him to do anything he didn't want to, I'm still really disappointed....actually, I'm kinda pissed I just haven't said anything. He KNOWS it's my BD that day too.

I don't know, what do you guys/gals think? He gets all upset when I tell him I realize he doesnt give a rats fuck about me, and stuff like this solidifies my opinion....he seems to think Im supposed to know how "he feels" through osmosis I guess.

I believe a guy can talk the talk pretty easy...doesnt take much effort.
It's actions that speak volumes.


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WODIN

Freak

Posts: 1639
From:Look into that place where you dare not, and there you will find me!
Registered: Aug 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:42 AM

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It is obvious that you bf is a self-centered prick! Dump him and hook up with a real man. Then again he may just hate Christmas!

------------------
AACK!!!


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havoc

Guru

Posts: 2514
From:The 27th Century, USAtiva
Registered: Jul 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:43 AM

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Sorry to hear this, kind of blows like a sperm whale, anyway tell him one of his friends is going to escort you.

------------------
"Navigate the Treacherous and make it look Effortless"


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supersizeme

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 545
From:dallas, tx
Registered: Jun 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:43 AM

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sorry kat...that's straight inconsiderate.
find another guy to go with you and see how he reacts.
is he selfish in other aspects or is this abnormal for him?

------------------
"We're in the building where they make us grow and I'm frightened by the liquid engineers." -Gary Numan
Oatmeal is your friend.


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AGENT SHAGWELL

Freak

Posts: 1701
From:cryogenically frozen somewhere in FL
Registered: Aug 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:43 AM

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What a DICK


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Bignick12345

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 114
From:
Registered: Oct 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:50 AM

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If you want me to, I'll kick his ass
Nick


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BigTruck

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 529
From:Beyond The Pale
Registered: Jun 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:52 AM

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If he doesn't know how you feel (you said you hadn't told him), then you can't really expect him to work on the problem. Hell, he may not even know that it upsets you, he might think everything is A-OK. Us guys can be kinda dense sometimes. Have you ever explained to him that it would mean a lot for him to go with you and why?

OK, follow me here -- If he thinks that you think its no big deal, then he might not think its a big deal if he doesn't go.

You can't expect him to know how you feel through osmosis either... Hope it works out.

BTW, happy birthday!


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:54 AM

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He's one of weird people...if I jump up and down and make a fuss he'd go without complaining. But I don't want to have to stoop to that level.
He will do anything anyone ASKS or INSISTS...if I had worded it as "We ARE going, and thats final" no prob. but I like people to make up their own minds, so it was worded as "Did you want to go?"
It just bugs me that I have to act like that. So yeah, I guess he is pretty self-centred.....maybe Im jsut one of those chicks who are more conscious of "obligation"...I'm hoping its partly an age thing.


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Big Buck

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 403
From:steel factory
Registered: May 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:55 AM

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It sounds like he doesn't care. If he's not willing to accompany u to your work's X-mas party, and it's also your b-day, then dump his sorry ass.


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Thick dawg

Elite Bodybuilder

Posts: 1288
From:Florida
Registered: Aug 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:56 AM

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What is his reasoning for not going, if I may ask?


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:57 AM

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Guys are so dense they don't know their girl wants them to be with them on their birthday????? He's not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but comeon.....
Its not for a couple of weeks, but Ive been stewing about it, getting madder and madder. We had to have the RVSP's in by last week.


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BigTruck

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 529
From:Beyond The Pale
Registered: Jun 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:58 AM

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You shouldn't have to beg him. If he knows it's important to you and still chooses not to go, then that's a valid issue.

Are you sure he knows how important this is to you though? If you haven't told him, you can't expect him to know...


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WODIN

Freak

Posts: 1639
From:Look into that place where you dare not, and there you will find me!
Registered: Aug 2000

posted November 14, 2000 11:59 AM

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just put a nice dog collar on his neck, get a velvet chain, crack dat whip and say "Move it pimp daddy! Yah!"

------------------
AACK!!!


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 12:04 PM

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He is quite shy and hates being in public, doesnt know anyone at my work anymore. All his favorite people quit this year.
He did say "If you really want me to go, then say so and I'll go", but comeon....I sholdnt have to say that.
If it was turned around and we were forced to go to a function on HIS birthday I'd be there will bells on no questions asked even if it was somewhere I detested!


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BigTruck

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 529
From:Beyond The Pale
Registered: Jun 2000

posted November 14, 2000 12:14 PM

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You said this had been stewing in you for awhile. Is it possible that there have been other unresoved conflicts between you two and that all of the frustration has built up inside you to where you are blowing this particular event out of proportion? Now, I'm not defending him, I'm just trying to look at all angles. Guys generally don't work that far in advance, and things like RSVPs are meaningless to them. You said this thing is a couple weeks from now, so it's possible that it's not a huge priority to him right at this moment. Once the actual time comes around, it may be a different story. I'm guessing there are deeper frustrations in your relationship with him and that your anger in this episode is symptomatic of those frustrations.

Reading between the lines, you are saying that this is a way he is showing that he doesn't love you, that this makes you feel unimportant in his eyes. But, how does he show that he does love you and that you are important to him? People don't always speak the same language of love and it's possible that he does all kinds of things that he thinks shows he loves you but you're not getting the message (and vice-versa). If he's truly totally centered on himself and doesn't have any regard for your feelings (and only you can ascertain that), then it may be time to look at other options or get into some deep and meaningful discussions.


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 12:27 PM

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You know, you're completely right BigTruck...
he is completely a spur of the moment person, and he can't remember his work schedule week to week much less anything past a day in advance. I just figured it was because he did way too much acid as a kid.

actually, just getting it off my meager chest made me feel better. He does practical things for me...like fixing stuff and getting me adaptors so my telephone thingy doesnt keep me in debt with batteries....you know, guy stuff.
Guess I don't appreciate it sometimes.

Hmm...thanks, made me feel better.


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BigTruck

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 529
From:Beyond The Pale
Registered: Jun 2000

posted November 14, 2000 12:43 PM

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Hey, no problem. Recognizing how people show they love you is so important. It's easy to become discontent when you (and your partner too) don't recognize what you have... Glad you feel a little better. Like you said, just getting it off your chest can be a huge help.


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madbomber31

Freak

Posts: 1900
From:in Nashville, but always a Detroiter!!!
Registered: Oct 1999

posted November 14, 2000 02:11 PM

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YOU ARE BLAMING HIIM FOR YOUR MISTAKE...

YOU "ASKED" IF HE WANTED TO GO, OF COURSE HE DOESNT WANT TO... WHO THE FUCK WOULD? WHO WOULD WANT TO WASTE A PERFECTLY GOOD DAY AT AN OFFICE PARTY FULL OF PEOPLE THEY DONT KNOW? I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO SHOW UP FOR WORK FOR MINE.. MANDATORY MY ASS!!! PAY ME AND I GO, DONT PAY ME AND YOU CAN LICK MY ONE NUT!!!

ANYWAY, IF YOU WANTED HIM TO GO, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID IT... WHAT??? YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL THROUGH OSMOSIS??? SOUNDS FAMILIAR DOESNT IT???

YOU FUCKIN PEOPLE (CHICKS) NEED TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELVES AND DONT CALL US (GUYS) INCONSIDERATE WHEN YOU DIDNT PROPERLY SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED!!!!

THIS IS DIRECTED TO YOU KAT, AND TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO KNOWS WHO THEY ARE...


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 02:17 PM

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Under normal circumstances I would 100% completely agree with you Madbomber, but it is also my birthday........

anyway, Im just forgetting about the whole thing. Ive got a beautiful dress and I most certainly don't need a man to have a good time.


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Captain_insano

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 342
From:Edison, NJ
Registered: Oct 2000

posted November 14, 2000 02:49 PM

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Kat- Seems like your BF doesn't have you as his #1 priority..

------------------


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madbomber31

Freak

Posts: 1900
From:in Nashville, but always a Detroiter!!!
Registered: Oct 1999

posted November 14, 2000 02:53 PM

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WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE NUMBER ONE???

MAYBE TEH FUCKIN FORGETFUL, NO PLANE JUMPING PUSSY IS PLANNING ON DOING A NICE THING FOR HER THAT DAY... EVER THINK OF THAT???

I DOUBT ITS GONNA BE "HAPPY BDAY KAT, SEE YA TOMORROW"

KAT, YOU WOULD AGREE WITH ME WHEN YOU USED LOGIC, BUT WHEN YOU USE "GIRL LOGIC" IS WHEN YOU START GETTING MAD.


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Captain_insano

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 342
From:Edison, NJ
Registered: Oct 2000

posted November 14, 2000 02:58 PM

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First of all Madbomber....WHY ARE YOU YELLING!

Second of all you're spelling is atrocious!

I have jumped out of an airplane though...

------------------


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kat

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 309
From:Toronto, ON
Registered: Sep 2000

posted November 14, 2000 03:02 PM

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You could be right Captain, and YOU could be right MadBomber...either way I'm stagging it, and in general he's a decent sort, and I'm not ging to be a bitch and insist he do something he really doesnt want to do.
I am sometimes OVERLY thoughtful and generous and sometimes my feelings get hurt when its not returned, but I shouldn't judge people actions by my personal eccentricities.

and he IS pretty dense unless I spell things out in letters 3 feet high...so it was partially my fault.


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madbomber31

Freak

Posts: 1900
From:in Nashville, but always a Detroiter!!!
Registered: Oct 1999

posted November 14, 2000 03:18 PM

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AT WORK TO ANSWER CAPS, UNEDUCATED FOR SPELLING. YOUR EXCUSE IS?


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