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Author | Topic: Fight! | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
Sad to say that I was in a long drawn out brawl last night (or early this morning really). At least I came out on top, got a little cut inside my lip and bruise on my shoulder. Other than that I feel like I had the most intense workout. My muscles are sore everywhere. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 364 |
What happened? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
Driving back to the hotel and me and Gab are having a verbal argument.. Gab drives a convertable, so he decides he's going to throw me from the car (I wasn't wearing a seatbelt), so he drives REALLY fast and slams on the breaks. Obviously he didn't succeed, so I get out of the car and start to walk, and the bitch actually tries to run me down! Being a convertable I grab the keys and break the car key. (Actually I didn't break it on purpose, it bent when I grabbed it out of the ignition, and when I tried to bend it back it broke). Of course now he can't drive, the fucker dives at me. Well I punch and get him off of me, and start to walk away, but he was relentless and keeps coming for me, and I keep knocking him down. Eventually when I got tired I knocked him down and ran for the hotel. Fortunately no one was around and we didn't get arrested. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 816 |
i think it's time for a new boyfriend. maybe special bill? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
Nah, special bill is just TOO special, and I can't handle all that. ![]() Seriously, I'm thinking about leaving .. I realize that sober Gab's a nice person, but I just don't know if I can handle the drinking, and if Gab wasn't drunk the fight wouldn't of escalated like this. I don't want to say stop drinking or I'm leaving, but I really don't know what else to do about that. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Freak ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1821 |
wow! the only thing better than seeing two gay guys fight is two drunk lesbians going at it... john- you have some very tough decisions to make in the near future... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 369 |
No deal. I actually don't believe a word of it. Bouncer ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
why not? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 369 |
because I've been a nightclub bouncer for over ten years now, and a little cut inside your lip and a bruised shoulder is not a long drawn out fight. Simple. But you got it off your mind, cheerio. Bouncer ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
True there, but Gab doesn't know how to fight and he's out of shape. The actual wrestling and fighting probably didn't last that long as it was interpersed with shouting matches. Actually I have no experience fighting whatsoever except in these episodes that happen from time to time. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 369 |
Hey Johnny I was just kidding really. Even when your used to fighting, a fight is a horrible thing. Hope you patch things up, and I'm glad to hear there was no one badly hurt. It's 01.20am here in Ireland and I'm off to bed. Good night. Bouncer ------------------ ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 653 |
I hope everything works out...sorry to hear about it... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1306 |
Hope everything works out well for you JohnnyO. Gab needs help bad and maybe leaving is the only clue he will take. ------------------ ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Guru ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 2061 |
JohnnyO - Next time stomp his fukkin ass and put a hurt on him. Make it clear that you won't take that shit and he'll think really hard before he comes your way agian. No pun! How long have you guys been together? ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 410 |
Johhny, Make sure you take care of YOURSELF first. Remember, his problems are his, they don't have to be yours. I know we all want to 'save' people, but people don't get saved unless they want to be. Most people don't change. If you really are serious about him, I'd suggest individual counseling, followed by couples counseling. Personally, I think by the time that it degrades to repeated violent episodes, that it is time to move on. There are other (less damaged) people out there. You just need to realize that this isn't your fault, you can do better and you don't have to own his problems. He may not be able to fight, but what happens if he grabs a bat next time? Follow your gut. Not your heart. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Guru ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 3570 |
Hang in there bro. Leaving may be the best thing for the both of you. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 700 |
How was the make up sex? Or have you had it yet? You know you can always do something to avoid this, it is called leaving, emotionally hard, but psychologically the best thing. Believe me, by the time you get around to thinking you may want to leave the other person, it is already past the time you did. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
make up sex? don't think so! yesterday we didn't talk. I didn't bring it up, and he didn't either. I worked around the house, he watched TV. God he is beat up... he has a black eye and a cut on this nose. talked on the phone.. I asked what do we have to do to prevent this in the future.. he said "don't go out to the clubs"... that wasn't the answer I was looking for. He doesn't even remember the details of the keybreaking and everything. He asked me this morning if it broke when opening the trunk! Just to let you know how much drinking was involved... drinks are about $5. I had four drinks, yet we spent a total of $150. That's a lot of drinks. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Freak ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1956 |
I think it sounds like the problem lies beneath the drinking. I don't know what started the argument. Jealosy? Trust? Maybe that's the real issue. ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 700 |
Johnny - O, what you must do now, is whip his ass again. Obviously he doesn't remember all of it or what it was for. Do it right this time and then see if he is hip. "Don't go to clubs..." Ha! Been there, done that. You can beat one thing for sure, arguments in the future will only escalate to higher and higher levels of violence and conflict. If you love him, tell him you want to go get some counseling and if he doesn't So Long Sucker. (and maybe whip him again too just for good measure.) I mean come on, when you have to beat the one you love (if you do love him that is) then obviously it Ain't All That in the first place. Tough Love doesn't mean physical conflicts. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() Posts: 56 |
I find this interesting...if the realationship were a guy and girl, Johnny would be in jail for spousal abuse. However, because its two guys, everyone thinks its ok..... There should be NO VIOLENCE in ANY relationship....or am I wrong? ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 700 |
nawwww... if it had been a girl, Johnny would have really kicked her ass. Just kidding ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 410 |
kat -- I don't think violence in any relationship is OK. But we're dealing with the reality of Johnny's situation. Violence is already there. In his case it doesn't matter whether it's OK because it's already gone there. He has to figure out what to do now... Johnny, sounds like the alcohol is going to come before you for at least the immediate future. Remember, some people need to hit rock bottom before they straighten out. Is it possible that by continuing to hang around, you are enabling him to keep doing what he's doing? I know you love him (well, I assume so if you put up with all this), but do you love yourself? You deserve better, he's saying he doesn't even remember what happened... Will he go to counseling? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1306 |
If it had been a girl johnny would be in the er right now. ------------------ ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
hehe woden... I just asked about conseling, and he came back with we need to separate.. and I should be ashamed that I brought that up now.. and should have brought it up yesterday. he definately doesn't remember driving crazy or trying to run me over .. He was in a slight fender bender today.. not his fault. And he's ok since he's at work, and drove the car to work after the accident. Am I being insensitive bringing up counseling after the accident? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 410 |
No. He is a manipulator. He will tell you anything to get the upper hand again. Should he be ashamed for trying to run you over? He's obviously not thinking about that. Be strong bro. Don't let him turn this against you. These were/are his choices to make and he's just pissed off now that you are questioning his dominance. Sounds like he was quick to suggest separation -- is he threatening you? (i.e. be a good boy and quit talking this way or I'll leave you -- and we both know you don't want that...) Though you can't see it now, chances are that if it's meant to be, he'll be the one chasing after you when you finally put your foot down. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 700 |
Big Truck, I was about to mail you that book today, but after reading your responses here, I don't think you need it. God, you should listen to yourself. Man are you strong. (see how easy advice is when it is related to someone else?) ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 700 |
Johnny - O, Let him leave. You can love someone, but you can't make them stay. Love is unconditional, there is no other way, or it is not true love. What you need to do, is spend sometime to yourself and figure out what YOU want. God knows, I hope I never go through this again, matters of the heart are always the best when it comes to self inflicting hurt. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Elite Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 816 |
Give 'em a dirty sanchez and kick him out. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 410 |
Jae - ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Novice ![]() Posts: 3 |
I am glad you have decided to leave him instead of going through an abusive relationship. My ex-roommate went through the same drama, first the arguing, then he got his ass kicked by his lover and he still went back to him, talk about f-up! You don't need that kinda of pain in your life, you are supposed to enjoy the time you have with your partner. If it doesn't work, then it's time to get him out of your life!! ------------------ quote: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Moderator ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 1531 |
Manipulator .. you all hit it exactly. He decided to leave work early today because he was so "upset" .. whatver. I saw him at home (I went home for lunch) and he wouldn't talk to me. I offered couseling.. and he refusing that for now .. so.. I'm not going to stop him if he has the balls to leave. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
Pro Bodybuilder ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 410 |
Don't wait passively for him to leave, give him the boot. You have to be the one to take action here. To say, "I'm sick of your shit, I can do better, I deserve better, get the fuck out." Show him you mean business. Otherwise he'll just continue to manipulate. Why leave when you're giving him the option of staying? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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