Day in the Life of Supreme Nanny (and Presidential Candidate) Ralph Nader 4:30 AM
Gets up and takes refreshing sponge bath with collected rainwater
5:00 AM
Puts on (synthetic) hairshirt and scowl�
6:00 AM
Eats breakfast of roots and berries collected from rooftop garden.
7:00 AM
Gets online and checks large investment portfolio.
10:00 AM
Works on blueprint for corporate "Death Star."
11:00 AM
Gets online and checks large investment portfolio.
12:00 PM
Lunch of trail mix and tofu.
1:30 PM
Interview young ideologs willing to work 70-80 hours a week for less than "living wage" for his empire of "rights" organizations.
2:30 PM
Appear on CNN talk show with Pat Buchanan� attempt to mask socialism in terms of "universal care," higher rates of "responsible taxation" and anti-"Big" industry.
3:45 PM
Gets online and checks large investment portfolio.
5:00 PM
Meet with trial lawyers for heavy duty contributions.
7:00 PM
Pine nuts and something "flaky" for dinner.
8:00 PM
Try (unsuccessfully) to sneak into a debate.
9:00 PM
Free time (watch black and white TV with aluminum foil rabbit ears).
10:00 PM
Prepare speech for how to transform foreign relations, banking system, utility pricing structure, deep oil drilling, welfare, General Motors, Medicare and Internet gambling.
11:00 PM
Revise yesterday's speech outline on how to treat funding of interstate highways, broad band access, space station development, decaying bridges over six waterways, removal of eight dams in northwest, relations with Navaho Councils and certification of pharmacists.