A parable in the mouth of a fool is like a crippled man trying to walk.

Wisdom is to high for a fool, he openeth not his mouth in the Gate.

For a whore is a deep ditch, a strange woman is a narrow pit.

Here we go:
Confidence: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her
on the ass and say, "You're next!"

FUCK YOU

SUCK MY DICK

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...Phil 4:13

Courage is the Greatest of all virutes. Because if you haven't courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others. Samuel Johnson...

Now I'm probably going to screw this next one up but one of my old roomates had this quote on some of his A&M Corp artwork

Give me a Batallion of West Point Grads and I'll win the battle....Give me a Batallion of Fighting Texas Aggies and I'll win the war...Gen. Patton

"You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose"

"Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one"

...I'd rather be O.D.in' off the crack of her ass"

------------------
Jae

ok here are mine

"Isn't she lucky, this hollywood girl" Britney Spears

"Suck me beautiful" American Pie

"I come from Norway" Mr Muscle

"If you really thought I couldn't do it, then you'd let me try" Silvio

------------------
"BITCH! You can't do this to me!" Silvio

"What, You eat shit for breakfast thats just gross man."

"pain is weakness leaving your body"

"It's my duty to SATISFY that booty"

"love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear"

He who dies with the most toys, still dies!

If you can fix it or fuck it, piss on it..

It isnt cheating if you dont get caught

------------------
"I'm just a Prisoner--in a Kings disguise"

Bill Parcells

Live with it, deal with it, get over it, life goes on.

Use your head when you are treating yourself, use your heart when you are treating others.

Always give your best; never get discouraged, never be petty. Always remember others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win, unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself.
�President Richard M. Nixon.
1913-1994

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
�Muhammad Ali
1942-

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
�Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
1929-1968

You can tell a man's character by what he turns up when offered a job, his nose or his sleeves.

The best way to judge a man's character is to see what he does when he thinks no one's looking.
�Jim Poserina.
1977�

That which does not kill you makes you stronger.
�Viktor Frankl
1905-1997

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
�Jimi Hendrix.
1942-1970

Our mind is like a window: Close it too tight and it will never open again

It takes lots of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant

The idea is to die young as late as possible

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is, "Try to please everybody."
�Herbery Bayard Swope.
1882-1958

The harder you train, the harder it is to give up.
�Vince Lombardi.
1913-1970.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
�Hector Berlioz.
1803-1869

Sex and parking are the same: If you can't find it for free you have to pay for it.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
�President Thomas Jefferson.
1743-1826

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one

Before you have an argument with your boss, you'd better take a good look at both sides: his side and the outside

Be thankful if your job is a little harder than you like. A razor can't be sharpened on a piece of velvet.

Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
�Wayne Gretzky.
1961-

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
�Archie Griffin
1954-

I knew it would ruin my arm, but one year of 25-7 is worth five of 15-15.
�Steve Stone.
1947-

There comes a time when you'd rather injure your body than injure your pride.
�Nike.

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
�Franklin P. Jones

gun-for-hire: "Have you ever killed anybody?"

From the movie GLADIATOR

[addressing his troops]
Maximus Decimus Meridius: If you find yourself alone, riding through green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled, for you are in Elysium, and are already dead

Maximus Decimus Meridius: What we do in life, echoes in eternity.

Maximus Decimus Meridius: At my signal, unleash hell.

From PULP FICTION....

Jimmie: Well, the thing on my mind right now isn't the good coffee in my cup, it's the dead nigger in my garage

Captain Koons: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

If you don't mind it don't matter.

"It is good that war is so horrendous, lest we become so fond of it"

From ARMY OF DARKNESS

Ash: You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And Jack just left town.

Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me baby... Just me.

Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!

Austin Powers: [About her skintight clothes.] How do you get into those pants?
Felicity Shagwell: Well you can start by buying me a drink.

massaging Felicity]
Austin Powers: How does that feel, baby?
Felicity Shagwell: Mmm, lower.
Austin Powers: [deep voice] How does that feel, baby?

from DOGMA

Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Classic Van Damme - Bloodsport