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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 When a tele marketer calls tell them:
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| Author | Topic: When a tele marketer calls tell them: | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1218 |
When a telemarketer calls: > > 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just > filed for > bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. > > 2. If they start out with, �How are you today?� say, > �I�m so glad you > asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I > have all these > problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are > sore, my dog > just died . . . � > > 3. If they say they�re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask > them to spell > their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. > Then ask them > where it is located, how long it has been in business, > how many > people work there, how they got into this line of work > if they are > married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking > them personal > questions or questions about their company for as long > as necessary. > > 4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: > �Hi, my name is > Judy and I�m with XYZ Company. � You: Wait for a > second and with a > real husky voice ask, �What are you wearing?� > > 5. Cry out in surprise, �Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! > Judy, how have > you been?� Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief > moments of > terror as she tries to figure out where she could know > you from. > > 6. Say �No� over and over. Be sure to vary the sound > of each one, and > keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to > speak. This is most > fun if you can do it until they hang up. > > 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the > Family and > Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you > can, �I don�t have > any friends, would you be my friend?� > > 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: �Can you get > out blood? Can > you get out goat blood? How about human blood?� > > 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask > him or her to > marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that > you can�t just > give your credit card number to a complete stranger. > > 10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same > company, and > they can�t sell to employees. > > 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a > Telemarketer, > set the receiver down, scream, �Oh my God!� and then > hang up. > > 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment > and ask him/her > if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so > you can call > him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that > telemarketers > cannot give out their home numbers say, �I guess you > don�t want > anyone bothering you at home, right?� The Telemarketer > will agree and > you say, �Me either!� Hang up. > > 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several > times. > > 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would > please hold. > Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to > eat at your > leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your > dinner > conversation. > > 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on �home > incarceration� and ask if > they could bring you some beer. > > 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make > up a number. > > 17. Tell the Telemarketer, �Okay, I�ll listen to you. > But I should > probably tell you, I�m not wearing any clothes.� > > 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, > playing a > joke. �Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, > how�s your momma?� > > 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they > need to speak > up . . . louder . . . louder . . . > > 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to > write every > word down. > > NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved > for use on > telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.     | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 234 |
LOL They were all pretty good. Ill have to use em to bad im never around when they call, well now that I think about it im never home, maybe sometime I will get them, who knows. | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 25 |
Here is one that works almost everytime. Assuming your a guy.(have to alter if your a female =) When you answer the phone they say is "Mr. so and so home". You respond "No he is not". They reply "Well is Mr so and so's spouse available", You reply "Yes this is him". They usualy hang up. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 520 |
When they call and ask for the previous resident, I tell them that they no longer live here. When they ask for my name, I ask why they want it. When they say that they would like to speak to the owner of this number, I reply that since a number is merely an abstraction, no one can really own it. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 119 |
IF YOU WANT TO GET THEM OFF THE PHONE, WHAT I DO IS MAKE A STATIC SOUND INTO THE PHONE AS IF THE PHONE IS BREAKING UP AND THEN HANG UP! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 80 |
One time when some telemarketer bitch called me, she started introducing herself and then went on to advertise....luckily I had a major protein fart brewin', and I just let 'er rip into the receiver! I hung up immediately after, but damn my roommate (who was in the room) and I were laughing for about 10 minutes straight. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 106 |
THAT WAS IN MAXIM OR STUFF... FUNNY SHIT. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 211 |
Funny shit Guys | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 529 |
Tell them you have to catch the other line, and hang the phone up.  ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 834 |
Question...what have Johovah Witnesses' witnessed? Also I had a girl call once and want to sell me a home security system..I said I didn't want or need one...she asked me if I felt safe and what safety feature my house had...I said locks and a pitt bull...then she asked if my pitt wore a bullet proof vest...I laughed at the bitch and said no...she said "well he should" and hung up.. | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 955 |
Funny Shit guys! | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 955 |
Funny Shit guys! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 541 |
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1434 |
now thats funny dirk | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 371 |
Ask them, after they introduce themselves; WHAT CHA WEARING?? lol |
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Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted October 10, 2000 08:19 PM
Gotta love those sales people 