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Author Topic:   I can't take credit for this...but you sicko's will enjoy
therealj

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 465
From:Great White North
Registered: Mar 2000

posted October 01, 2000 03:07 AM

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Subject: The Most Dangerous Snake


NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extralayers of skin). Varying from pink to black.
Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet)
Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men In the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery.
There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after
a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM:
1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.

2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.

3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet

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http://pub19.ezboard.com/bcanadiananabolic


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1-body

Cool Novice

Posts: 45
From:baton rouge, La.
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 01, 2000 03:13 AM

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haha!!!
awesome alj... I love some of the shit I hear on this board don't you all.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA

1-body


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Sexual Mustard

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 53
From:my mom
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 01, 2000 05:48 AM

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LMAO!! Now come up with the animal profile of the vagina!


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therealj

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 465
From:Great White North
Registered: Mar 2000

posted October 01, 2000 01:13 PM

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it was late..so bump for those who missed it...

------------------
http://pub19.ezboard.com/bcanadiananabolic


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Rex37

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 101
From:Philly, PA, USA
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 01, 2000 03:49 PM

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LOL. Shit that was funny.


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Valdez

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 66
From:wa
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 01, 2000 04:33 PM

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I thought I was the only dumbass on this board... ha ha !!!!!! thanks for the laugh.


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Seitz

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 105
From:Arizona
Registered: Mar 2000

posted October 02, 2000 01:19 AM

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bump....lol thanks for the laugh


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]]]] C_0_ B_ R_ A [[[[

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 54
From:Planet of tha fukin apes
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 02, 2000 01:23 AM

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hhahaah whoever came up with that shit,
its pretty innovative.
"Beware: It has been known to attack men In the rear lower abdomen!"
hahahahahah thats fukin funny.

------------------
"Maybe I am going to hell. I sent many deserving criminal souls to their doom. I have no regrets. They'll be waiting for me. When I arrive, they'll wish they'd sent me to heaven."


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TheOneYouEnvy

Cool Novice

Posts: 32
From:Every Womans Fantasy
Registered: Aug 2000

posted October 02, 2000 06:09 AM

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Its more funny if you read it thinking of the austrailian guys voice from crocadile hunter.


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TxCollegeguy

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 574
From:
Registered: Jan 2000

posted October 02, 2000 01:59 PM

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HAHAHA...I thought about he Croc guys voice as I read it...very damn funny...


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ALL-NATURAL-JUICE

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 251
From:created in a lab to be the perfect being.
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 02, 2000 09:44 PM

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BBBWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!


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